The 9 Most Shocking Pesukim In Nach
A Prophet Marries a Prostitute
(ב) תְּחִלַּ֥ת דִּבֶּר־ה' בְּהוֹשֵׁ֑עַ (פ) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ה' אֶל־הוֹשֵׁ֗עַ לֵ֣ךְ קַח־לְךָ֞ אֵ֤שֶׁת זְנוּנִים֙ וְיַלְדֵ֣י זְנוּנִ֔ים כִּֽי־זָנֹ֤ה תִזְנֶה֙ הָאָ֔רֶץ מֵֽאַחֲרֵ֖י יְהוָֽה׃

(2) When the LORD spoke at first with Hosea, the LORD said unto Hosea: ‘Go, take for yourself a wife of harlotry and children of harlotry; for the land doth commit great harlotry, departing from the LORD.’

Raiders of the Lost Ark

(טז) וְהָיָ֡ה כִּ֣י תִרְבּוּ֩ וּפְרִיתֶ֨ם בָּאָ֜רֶץ בַּיָּמִ֤ים הָהֵ֙מָּה֙ נְאֻם־ה' לֹא־יֹ֣אמְרוּ ע֗וֹד אֲרוֹן֙ בְּרִית־ה' וְלֹ֥א יַעֲלֶ֖ה עַל־לֵ֑ב וְלֹ֤א יִזְכְּרוּ־בוֹ֙ וְלֹ֣א יִפְקֹ֔דוּ וְלֹ֥א יֵעָשֶׂ֖ה עֽוֹד׃

(16) And it shall come to pass, when ye are multiplied and increased in the land, in those days, saith the LORD, they shall say no more: The ark of the covenant of the LORD; neither shall it come to mind; neither shall they make mention of it; neither shall they miss it; neither shall it be made any more.

To Achieve Peace We Must Go To War
(י) כֹּ֤תּוּ אִתֵּיכֶם֙ לַֽחֲרָב֔וֹת וּמַזְמְרֹֽתֵיכֶ֖ם לִרְמָחִ֑ים הַֽחַלָּ֔שׁ יֹאמַ֖ר גִּבּ֥וֹר אָֽנִי׃
(10) Beat your plowshares into swords, And your pruning-hooks into spears; Let the weak say: ‘I am strong.’
Rated R: Graphic Content
(ד) שְׁנֵ֥י שָׁדַ֛יִךְ כִּשְׁנֵ֥י עֳפָרִ֖ים תָּאֳמֵ֥י צְבִיָּֽה׃
(4) Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a gazelle.
What Happens After We Die?
(יב) כִּ֣י מִֽי־יוֹדֵעַ֩ מַה־טּ֨וֹב לָֽאָדָ֜ם בַּֽחַיִּ֗ים מִסְפַּ֛ר יְמֵי־חַיֵּ֥י הֶבְל֖וֹ וְיַעֲשֵׂ֣ם כַּצֵּ֑ל אֲשֶׁר֙ מִֽי־יַגִּ֣יד לָֽאָדָ֔ם מַה־יִּהְיֶ֥ה אַחֲרָ֖יו תַּ֥חַת הַשָּֽׁמֶשׁ׃

(12) For who knows what is good for man in his life, all the days of his vain life which he spends as a shadow? for who can tell a man what shall be after him under the sun?

What is A Sukkah?
(יד) וַֽיִּמְצְא֖וּ כָּת֣וּב בַּתּוֹרָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֨ר צִוָּ֤ה ה' בְּיַד־מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֲשֶׁר֩ יֵשְׁב֨וּ בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֧ל בַּסֻּכּ֛וֹת בֶּחָ֖ג בַּחֹ֥דֶשׁ הַשְּׁבִיעִֽי׃
(14) And they found written in the Law, how that the LORD had commanded by Moses, that the children of Israel should dwell in booths in the feast of the seventh month;
What Does Eliyahu Look Like?
(ח) וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ אֵלָ֗יו אִ֚ישׁ בַּ֣עַל שֵׂעָ֔ר וְאֵז֥וֹר ע֖וֹר אָז֣וּר בְּמָתְנָ֑יו וַיֹּאמַ֕ר אֵלִיָּ֥ה הַתִּשְׁבִּ֖י הֽוּא׃

(8) And they answered him: ‘He was a hairy man, and girt with a girdle of leather about his loins.’ And he said: ‘It is Elijah the Tishbite.’

Music Leads to Prophecy

(טו) וְעַתָּ֖ה קְחוּ־לִ֣י מְנַגֵּ֑ן וְהָיָה֙ כְּנַגֵּ֣ן הַֽמְנַגֵּ֔ן וַתְּהִ֥י עָלָ֖יו יַד־יְהוָֽה׃

(15) But now bring me a musician.’ And it came to pass, when the musician played, that the hand of the LORD came upon him.

God Hates Holidays
(יד) חָדְשֵׁיכֶ֤ם וּמוֹעֲדֵיכֶם֙ שָׂנְאָ֣ה נַפְשִׁ֔י הָי֥וּ עָלַ֖י לָטֹ֑רַח נִלְאֵ֖יתִי נְשֹֽׂא׃
(14) Your new moons and your appointed seasons My soul hateth; They are a burden unto Me; I am weary to bear them.