JUDGING OTHERS FAVORABLY | MACHRIO L'CHAF ZECHUT | מכריעו לכף זכות
PHRASE/SLOGAN
There's another side to the story
Don't believe everything you think
Develop a good/positive eye
Judge every person, the whole person, and the entirety of their life favorably
Nonjudgmental bare attention
Give the benefit of the doubt
They are stressed, trying their best
Make friends with judgments (mental and verbal), make them your teacher, your mirror for what you need to love about yourself
Don't think/stop thinking about someone unless to benefit their body or soul
Assume as default they already repented
Help the person return to their best by seeing their goodness
If you want others to see you beyond your faults, see them beyond theirs
If you judge someone whose place you haven't been in, be ready to be put in their place
Find a good reason why they did what they did
If you were exactly them, with their exact makeup, you would act exactly like them
Don't believe everything you think
Develop a good/positive eye
Judge every person, the whole person, and the entirety of their life favorably
Nonjudgmental bare attention
Give the benefit of the doubt
They are stressed, trying their best
Make friends with judgments (mental and verbal), make them your teacher, your mirror for what you need to love about yourself
Don't think/stop thinking about someone unless to benefit their body or soul
Assume as default they already repented
Help the person return to their best by seeing their goodness
If you want others to see you beyond your faults, see them beyond theirs
If you judge someone whose place you haven't been in, be ready to be put in their place
Find a good reason why they did what they did
If you were exactly them, with their exact makeup, you would act exactly like them
SOUL TRAIT (MIDDAH) SPECTRUM
ETYMOLOGY
Machrio L'Chaf Zechut / מכריעו לכף זכות
- to tilt/bend the balance to the side of merit
- judging others favorably
- influencing others to virtue
- root - כרע
- bow down, kneel down
- cast down, overpowered, subdued
- turned the scale, outweighed
- determined, decided
- to a scale of merit
- privilege, benefit
- legal right, title
- favor, advantage
- merit, virtue
- credit side of an account, asset
- pure, innocent, free from guilt
- root - זכך
- to be pure
- clean, bright
- purified, refined
- cleansed
- related to זכה
- to be clear, clean
- morally clean, guiltless, innocent
- worthy, deserved
TORAH
לֹא־תַעֲשׂ֥וּ עָ֙וֶל֙ בַּמִּשְׁפָּ֔ט לֹא־תִשָּׂ֣א פְנֵי־דָ֔ל וְלֹ֥א תֶהְדַּ֖ר פְּנֵ֣י גָד֑וֹל בְּצֶ֖דֶק תִּשְׁפֹּ֥ט עֲמִיתֶֽךָ׃
You shall not render an unfair decision: do not favor the poor or show deference to the rich; judge your friend fairly/righteously.
MUSSAR
וְהָיָה֙ כִּ֣י הִרְבְּתָ֔ה לְהִתְפַּלֵּ֖ל לִפְנֵ֣י יְהֹוָ֑ה וְעֵלִ֖י שֹׁמֵ֥ר אֶת־פִּֽיהָ׃ וְחַנָּ֗ה הִ֚יא מְדַבֶּ֣רֶת עַל־לִבָּ֔הּ רַ֚ק שְׂפָתֶ֣יהָ נָּע֔וֹת וְקוֹלָ֖הּ לֹ֣א יִשָּׁמֵ֑עַ וַיַּחְשְׁבֶ֥הָ עֵלִ֖י לְשִׁכֹּרָֽה׃ וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ עֵלִ֔י עַד־מָתַ֖י תִּשְׁתַּכָּרִ֑ין הָסִ֥ירִי אֶת־יֵינֵ֖ךְ מֵֽעָלָֽיִךְ׃ וַתַּ֨עַן חַנָּ֤ה וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲדֹנִ֔י אִשָּׁ֤ה קְשַׁת־ר֙וּחַ֙ אָנֹ֔כִי וְיַ֥יִן וְשֵׁכָ֖ר לֹ֣א שָׁתִ֑יתִי וָאֶשְׁפֹּ֥ךְ אֶת־נַפְשִׁ֖י לִפְנֵ֥י יְהֹוָֽה׃
As she kept on praying before the One, Eli watched her mouth. Now Hannah was praying in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice could not be heard. So Eli thought she was drunk. Eli said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up!” And Hannah replied, “Oh no, my lord! I am a very unhappy woman. I have drunk no wine or other strong drink, but I have been pouring out my heart to the One.
Dr. Alan Morinis, With Heart in Mind: Mussar Teachings to Transform Your Life (2014)
We are to give others the benefit of the doubt, and there’s good reason for that, if only because our conclusions are so often mistaken. (Chp. 38: Judging Others Favorably)
We are to give others the benefit of the doubt, and there’s good reason for that, if only because our conclusions are so often mistaken. (Chp. 38: Judging Others Favorably)
Anonymous Author (Orchot Tzaddikim [1400-1500]), in A. Morinis, Every Day, Holy Day: 365 Days of Teachings and Practices From the Jewish Tradition of Mussar (2010)
If a man has boils, the fly will ignore the rest of the body and sit on the boil. Thus it is with someone who gossips. He overlooks all the good in a person and speaks only of the evil. (Week 38, Day 5)
If a man has boils, the fly will ignore the rest of the body and sit on the boil. Thus it is with someone who gossips. He overlooks all the good in a person and speaks only of the evil. (Week 38, Day 5)
יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: make a teacher for yourself, and acquire a friend for yourself, and judge every person favorably.
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz, Pirkei Avot: A Social Justice Commentary (2018)
The Hebrew word kol can be read as "every person" or as "the entirety of a person." Thus we can discern this mishnah as saying both that we should judge every person favorably and that we should judge the entirety of a person favorably. (Footnote 37A)
Total condemnation of another has consequences that are too great. Therefore, the mishnah says kol haadam, that we should judge "the whole person" favorably. There will be aspects of every person that we won't judge favorably, but we should not reject the entirety of a person. (Chp. 1)
The Hebrew word kol can be read as "every person" or as "the entirety of a person." Thus we can discern this mishnah as saying both that we should judge every person favorably and that we should judge the entirety of a person favorably. (Footnote 37A)
Total condemnation of another has consequences that are too great. Therefore, the mishnah says kol haadam, that we should judge "the whole person" favorably. There will be aspects of every person that we won't judge favorably, but we should not reject the entirety of a person. (Chp. 1)
Rabbi Wolbe, in Rabbi David Jaffe, Changing the World from the Inside Out: A Jewish Approach to Personal and Social Change (2016)
When we take the whole person’s life—all his or her qualities and circumstances—into account, we will see that people are generally trying to do their best. It is interesting to note that the teaching does not say, “Do not judge another person.” It accepts that we will judge. Just like our brains are wired to notice what is wrong, we are wired to judge. Our ability to identify what we like and don’t like develops much earlier than our ability to simply observe reality. As with all human traits, the rabbis try to raise up judgment, directing us to use it to build up rather than tear down. (A Little Light Overcomes Much Darkness: Seeking Good Points)
When we take the whole person’s life—all his or her qualities and circumstances—into account, we will see that people are generally trying to do their best. It is interesting to note that the teaching does not say, “Do not judge another person.” It accepts that we will judge. Just like our brains are wired to notice what is wrong, we are wired to judge. Our ability to identify what we like and don’t like develops much earlier than our ability to simply observe reality. As with all human traits, the rabbis try to raise up judgment, directing us to use it to build up rather than tear down. (A Little Light Overcomes Much Darkness: Seeking Good Points)
Dr. Alan Morinis, With Heart in Mind: Mussar Teachings to Transform Your Life (2014)
Are you as prone to jump to conclusions as I am? I seem to have an involuntary reflex to form a judgment, even when I don’t have all the facts. And I tend to lean toward the side of indictment. . . Negative judgment separates us from other people and closes our hearts to them, making it impossible to develop the love and closeness we want and need. (Chp. 38: Judging Others Favorably)
Are you as prone to jump to conclusions as I am? I seem to have an involuntary reflex to form a judgment, even when I don’t have all the facts. And I tend to lean toward the side of indictment. . . Negative judgment separates us from other people and closes our hearts to them, making it impossible to develop the love and closeness we want and need. (Chp. 38: Judging Others Favorably)
Dr. Greg Marcus, The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar (2016)
Finding the good in others is transformative because judging others is stressful. When you stop judging, you’ll experience more calmness of the soul. . . . Observe your internal world. When you are judging others, does it make you feel good? (Chp. 11: Honor)
Finding the good in others is transformative because judging others is stressful. When you stop judging, you’ll experience more calmness of the soul. . . . Observe your internal world. When you are judging others, does it make you feel good? (Chp. 11: Honor)
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future (2003)
An operational working definition of mindfulness is: the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment. (p. 145)
An operational working definition of mindfulness is: the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment. (p. 145)
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness (1990)
Mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moment’s thought to. (p. 2)
Knowing what you are doing while you are doing it is the essence of mindfulness practice. . . . focus on the basic experiences of living such as your breathing, the sensations you feel in your body, and the flowing movement of thoughts in your mind. (pp. 28-29)
Mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moment’s thought to. (p. 2)
Knowing what you are doing while you are doing it is the essence of mindfulness practice. . . . focus on the basic experiences of living such as your breathing, the sensations you feel in your body, and the flowing movement of thoughts in your mind. (pp. 28-29)
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (1810–1883), in A. Morinis, Every Day, Holy Day: 365 Days of Teachings and Practices From the Jewish Tradition of Mussar (2010)
One should not even think about others and their affairs unless it is for the purpose of benefiting them, whether for their bodies or their souls. Besides this, one should not think about them at all—ever. (Week 12, Day 7)
One should not even think about others and their affairs unless it is for the purpose of benefiting them, whether for their bodies or their souls. Besides this, one should not think about them at all—ever. (Week 12, Day 7)
תָּנָא דְּבֵי רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל: אִם רָאִיתָ תַּלְמִיד חָכָם שֶׁעָבַר עֲבֵירָה בַּלַּיְלָה — אַל תְּהַרְהֵר אַחֲרָיו בַּיּוֹם, שֶׁמָּא עָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה. ״שֶׁמָּא״ סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ? אֶלָּא וַדַּאי עָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה.
It was taught in the school of Rabbi Yishmael: If you saw a wise person transgress a prohibition at night, do not think badly of him during the day; perhaps he has repented in the meantime. The Gemara challenges this: Does it enter your mind that only perhaps he has repented? Shouldn’t he be given the benefit of the doubt? Rather, he has certainly repented.
דַּע, כִּי צָרִיךְ לָדוּן אֶת כָּל אָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת, וַאֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁהוּא רָשָׁע גָּמוּר, צָרִיךְ לְחַפֵּשׂ וְלִמְצֹא בּוֹ אֵיזֶה מְעַט טוֹב, שֶׁבְּאוֹתוֹ הַמְּעַט אֵינוֹ רָשָׁע, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה שֶׁמּוֹצֵא בּוֹ מְעַט טוֹב, וְדָן אוֹתוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה מַעֲלֶה אוֹתוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת לְכַף זְכוּת, וְיוּכַל לַהֲשִׁיבוֹ בִּתְשׁוּבָה.
Know, a person must judge everyone favorably (Avot 1:6). Even someone who is completely wicked, it is necessary to search and find in him some modicum of good; that in that little bit he is not wicked. And by finding in him a modicum of good and judging him favorably, one genuinely elevates him to the scale of merit and can bring him to repent.
וְכֵן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לִמְצֹא גַּם בְּעַצְמוֹ. כִּי זֶה יָדוּעַ, שֶׁצָּרִיךְ הָאָדָם לִזָּהֵר מְאֹד לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָּמִיד, וּלְהַרְחִיק הָעַצְבוּת מְאֹד מְאֹד (כַּמְבֹאָר אֶצְלֵנוּ כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים).
2. Likewise, a person must find [some good point] within himself. It is known that a person must take care to be happy always and to keep very far away from depression {as has been explained in our works a number of times}.
Dr. Alan Morinis, Every Day, Holy Day: 365 Days of Teachings and Practices From the Jewish Tradition of Mussar (2010)
The core practice in learning to judge others as you would be judged is to seek out a positive reason that explains why someone is doing something that seems so patently wrong. (Week 38, Day 1)
The core practice in learning to judge others as you would be judged is to seek out a positive reason that explains why someone is doing something that seems so patently wrong. (Week 38, Day 1)
וְאַל תָּדִין אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ לִמְקוֹמוֹ.
Do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place.
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz, Pirkei Avot: A Social Justice Commentary (2018)
The truth is that we never reach anyone's place. One's makom, "place," includes upbringing, genes, experiences, and unique spiritual development. We can never really judge another because another's consciousness is so fundamentally different from our own. This is not moral relativism. We can judge actions as good or evil, but we cannot judge the whole person, the being in his or her entirety. As the Sages teach, no two people are alike (JT B'rachot 5:9). (Chp. 2)
The truth is that we never reach anyone's place. One's makom, "place," includes upbringing, genes, experiences, and unique spiritual development. We can never really judge another because another's consciousness is so fundamentally different from our own. This is not moral relativism. We can judge actions as good or evil, but we cannot judge the whole person, the being in his or her entirety. As the Sages teach, no two people are alike (JT B'rachot 5:9). (Chp. 2)
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: הַדָּן חֲבֵירוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת — דָּנִין אוֹתוֹ לִזְכוּת.
The Sages taught in a baraita: One who judges another favorably is himself judged favorably.
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz, Pirkei Avot: A Social Justice Commentary (2018)
The Talmud teaches that if we judge others favorably, God will judge us favorably as well (BT Shabbat 127b). In fact, the connection is even more immediate. When we are judging another, what we find irritating in that individual is often something we dislike about ourselves. The other's shortcoming holds a mirror to our own. We should use the inclination to judge another as an opportunity to be reflective and corrective about our own character and actions. (Chp. 1)
The Talmud teaches that if we judge others favorably, God will judge us favorably as well (BT Shabbat 127b). In fact, the connection is even more immediate. When we are judging another, what we find irritating in that individual is often something we dislike about ourselves. The other's shortcoming holds a mirror to our own. We should use the inclination to judge another as an opportunity to be reflective and corrective about our own character and actions. (Chp. 1)
Maggid Yitzhak Buxbaum (1943-2020), Jewish Spiritual Practices (1990)
How can we learn to judge others favorably? The Besht taught that when you see someone else do something wrong (or hear about it), realize that God brought this before you because you have done something similar, and so you will repent. Do not judge him, judge yourself. Since you have done something of the same sort, you will not be arrogant in judging him, but will be busy correcting . . . (9:10 Do Not Judge)
How can we learn to judge others favorably? The Besht taught that when you see someone else do something wrong (or hear about it), realize that God brought this before you because you have done something similar, and so you will repent. Do not judge him, judge yourself. Since you have done something of the same sort, you will not be arrogant in judging him, but will be busy correcting . . . (9:10 Do Not Judge)
Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz, Pirkei Avot: A Social Justice Commentary (2018)
Rather than judge another harshly, we judge others favorably and explore together how our lives are tied up with one another.
S'forno writes that we are to "judge everyone favorably because without this trait friendship will not endure. . . . this [attitude] will unquestionably annul all friendship.” (Chp. 1)
Rather than judge another harshly, we judge others favorably and explore together how our lives are tied up with one another.
S'forno writes that we are to "judge everyone favorably because without this trait friendship will not endure. . . . this [attitude] will unquestionably annul all friendship.” (Chp. 1)