Contemplative Mussar | Gratitude

Hakarat Hatov / הכרת הטוב

Yadah / ידה

Yehudi(m) / יהודי / יהודים

One hundred blessings every day, Judaism says. Each day when we wake up, we say the nisim b’chol yom, the blessings of the every day. “Thank You, God, for restoring my soul to me. Thank You for giving me another day of life. Thank You for eyes to see, for legs to walk, for clothes to wear.” Judaism is very much about seeing the holiness in this world in order to bring more holiness into this world.

And in fact, to be a Jew is to give thanks — by definition. The Torah tells us of how Leah gave birth to several sons, and when the fourth one was born, she said, “This time, I will give thanks to Adonai,” (odeh et Adonai) [אודה את יהוה]. The root letters of odeh [אודה], “I will give thanks,” form the basis of the name that Leah chose for son: Yehudah [יהודה]. From Yehudah, we get the name “Judah.” And from “Judah” we get the word “Judaism.”

Gratitude is not just a nice gesture or a worthy personal quality. It is a real obligation like any other in the code of law. If you withhold it, you are a thief! (Week 27, Day 7)

Many people find it easier to thank God than to acknowledge the gifts received from other people. (Chp. 9: Gratitude)

“I deserve it!” is the nemesis of gratitude. . . .When we think that our good fortune is owed to us because of our hard work, we are less likely to give thanks for what we have. Such thinking is harmful to our souls and detrimental to our impulse toward generosity. Research has found that being grateful makes us happier and more resilient and improves our self-esteem. Physical benefits include better sleep, lower blood pressure, pain reduction, and a greater desire to engage in physical exercise. Interpersonally, gratitude makes us more compassionate, helpful, and kind. Yet because we live in a society in which many of us are blessed with plenty, we often take for granted what we have or take too much credit for acquiring it. It’s often easier to notice what we lack instead of what we have. (Ki Tavo: Hakarat HaTov—Gratitude: Acknowledging the Good)

There’s a psychological phenomenon in which people attribute their success mainly to their own efforts and talents, discounting salutary effects and advantages from which they have benefited. This phenomenon is based on our inclination to ignore or discount forces or privileges that have contributed to our success, much as a cyclist impelled forward by a tailwind may feel she is benefiting primarily from her many miles of dedication and training rather than by the wind at her back.

The so-called American dream is based on the deeply ingrained notion that people in the United States can pull themselves up by their own bootstraps if they work hard enough. By extension, the inverse is presumably also the case: that failure to succeed is a mark of one’s own shortcomings or indolence. What this myth of upward mobility fails to take into account is that many of us benefit from advantages such as wealth, access to good schools, safe neighborhoods, good health care, powerful social connections, or a myriad of other factors that make success far more attainable—in effect, a wind at one’s back.

Hakarat hatov is a spiritual practice that opens our minds and hearts to notice the forces that propel us forward. Hakarat hatov can help us to perceive in a radically different light those around us who have fared less well and to acknowledge that the tailwinds from which we have benefited may have manifested as headwinds for others. When we acknowledge our blessings and recognize the Source of Blessing, we become more grateful and develop greater kindness and empathy toward others. (Ki Tavo: Hakarat HaTov—Gratitude: Acknowledging the Good)

Hakarat hatov can also help us to focus more on what we have than on what we lack. Scarcity is not objectively measurable; it is defined by our own perception. Practicing hakarat hatov can shift our perspective from one of lack to one of abundance. (Ki Tavo: Hakarat HaTov—Gratitude: Acknowledging the Good)

The soul-trait of gratitude holds the key to opening the heart. It is an elevated soul-trait, and a fine orientation to the inanimate, human, and divine dimensions of the world. The refined soul is a grateful soul. (Chp. 9: Gratitude)