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notes by Rabbi Robert Tabak
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Pirkei Avot, Chapter 5 notes by Rabbi Robert Tabak

(טז) כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, אֵינָהּ בְּטֵלָה לְעוֹלָם. אֵיזוֹ הִיא אַהֲבָה הַתְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת אַמְנוֹן וְתָמָר. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת דָּוִד וִיהוֹנָתָן:

(16) All love that depends on a something, [when the] thing ceases, [the] love ceases; and [all love] that does not depend on anything, will never cease. What is an example of love that depended on a something? Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar. And what is an example of love that did not depend on anything? Such was the love of David and Jonathan.

כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר בָּטֵל. שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְקַיֵּם, כְּשֶׁיִּתְבַּטֵּל הַדָּבָר שֶׁהָיָה סִבָּה לְאוֹתָהּ אַהֲבָה, גַּם הָאַהֲבָה בְּטֵלָה. וְכָל אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְּדָבָר בָּטֵל אֶלָּא בְּדָבָר קַיָּם, כְּגוֹן אַהֲבַת הַצַּדִּיקִים וְהַחֲכָמִים, אֵינָהּ בְּטֵלָה לְעוֹלָם. כְּשֵׁם שֶׁהַדָּבָר שֶׁהוּא סִבָּה לְאוֹתָהּ אַהֲבָה אֵינָהּ בָּטֵל, כָּךְ אֵין הָאַהֲבָה בְּטֵלָה:
Any love that is dependent on something transient: that does not last. When the thing that was the cause for that love perishes, the love will also perish. But any love that is not dependent on something transient, but rather on something lasting - for example, the love of the righteous men and the sages - never perishes. In the same way that the thing which is the cause of that love does not perish, so [too] does the love not perish.

אַהֲבַת אַמְנוֹן וְתָמָר. מִפְּנֵי יָפְיָהּ:

Bartenura: the love of Amnon and Tamar: [which was] because of her beauty.

Gay men can look to the Tanach for an example of a marriage ceremony too. 1 Samuel 18:1-4 reads like this:
When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armour, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.”
Here we have an explicit reference to gay love. Others may attempt to water down everything and remind everyone that David was involved in relationships with women but it seems crystal clear. Two men are involved in a covenant of love.
Amy Soule, www.keshetonline.org 2019

(יז) כָּל מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, אֵין סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. אֵיזוֹ הִיא מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת קֹרַח וְכָל עֲדָתוֹ:

(17) Every dispute that is for the sake of Heaven, will in the end endure; But one that is not for the sake of Heaven, will not endure. Which is the controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Hillel and Shammai. And which is the controversy that is not for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Korah and all his congregation.

7. Even though the academy of Shammai declares one thing kosher while the academy of Hillel declares the same thing not kosher, even though one forbids while the other permits, the academy of Shammai did not refrain from marrying the women of the academy of Hillel, nor did the academy of Hillel refrain from marrying the women of the academy of Shammai. Even though one side declares things to be pure while the other side declares the same thing to be impure, nonetheless they did not refrain from preparing things requiring a state of purity by using things from the other side. (Mishnah Yevamot 1:4)
Rabbi Abba said in the name of Shmuel: For three years the academy of Shammai and the academy of Hillel argued. One group asserted, “The law follows our views,” and the other asserted, “The law follows our views.” A Heavenly voice came down and announced, “They are both the words of the living God, but the law follows the academy of Hillel.” Since both were the words of the living God, what entitled the academy of Hillel to have the law agree with them? Because they were kind and modest, they studied their own rulings and those of the academy of Shammai, and not only that, they mentioned the rulings of the academy of Shammai before their own. (Talmud Eiruvin 13b)
The Babylonian Talmud (Shabbat 17a) states: They [Beit Shammai] thrust a sword into the study house and declared: “Whoever wants to enter may enter, but no one may leave!” And on that day Hillel sat in submission before Shammai, like one of the disciples, and it was as wretched for Israel as the day on which the [golden] calf was made.
That day was as wretched for Israel as the day which the [golden] calf was made…. It was taught in the name of Rabbi Yehoshua Oniya: The students of Beit Shammai stood below them and they began to slaughter the students of Beit Hillel. It was taught: Six of them ascended and the others stood over them with swords and lances. Jerusalem Talmud, Shabbat 1:4 [3c].
These are the days that tragedies befell our forefathers and it is worthy to fast on them…. On the ninth of [Adar] Beit Shammai and Hillel disagreed.( Rabbi Yosef Karo (1488–1575, Spain/Land of Israel Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim, Hilchot Ta’anit 580.)
" ‘On the [ninth] of Adar they disagreed’: And three thousand of the students died.” (Rabbi Eliyahu Shapiro (1660–1712, Prague in his commentary on the Shulchan Aruch.)

לעתיד לבא עתיד הקב"ה להפכה לששון ולשמחה שנאמר והפכתי אבלם לששון ונחמתים ושמחתים מיגונם. אר"א א"ר חנינא ת"ח מרבים שלום בעולם שנאמר וכל בניך למודי ה' ורב שלום בניך. .. ה' עוז לעמו יתן ה' יברך את עמו בשלום:

In the future, the Holy One will turn these [fast] days into days of rejoicing and happiness.… Rabbi Eliezer said in the name of Rabbi Chananya: “Torah scholars increase peace in the world.”... May God give stength to God's people; may God bless God's people with peace. (Megilat Taanit, conclusion)

Thanks to the Pardes Institute Center for Creative Conflict and especially to Daniel Roth for some of the texts and translations. https://elmad.pardes.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/The-Ninth-of-Adar-by-Daniel-Roth.pdf

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, בֶּן חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים לַמִּקְרָא, בֶּן עֶשֶׂר לַמִּשְׁנָה, בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַמִּצְוֹת, בֶּן חֲמֵשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַתַּלְמוּד, בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדֹּף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִּקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ, בֶּן מֵאָה כְּאִלּוּ מֵת וְעָבַר וּבָטֵל מִן הָעוֹלָם:

He used to say: At five years of age the study of Scripture; At ten the study of Mishnah; At thirteen subject to the commandments; At fifteen the study of Talmud; At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of “strength”; At ninety a bent body; At one hundred, as good as dead and gone completely out of the world. Pirkei Avot 5:21

SEVEN AGES OF MAN
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
( Shakespeare, As You Like It, Jaques, Act 2 Scene 7)