This sheet on Genesis 43 was written by Nina Beth Cardin for 929 and can also be found here
No matter how old or accomplished we may become, somewhere inside we remain a child, forever seeking the love and reassuring presence, pride and comfort of our parents. We want to share with our mothers, and our fathers, our hard-earned successes and achievements in life.
So how sad it is when our parents – for whatever reason - are not there to see them, not there to heap blessings and encouragement and love on us when we finally make it.
This was the one major tragedy of Joseph’s life – that the grandeur of his station was unknown to his parents, that he knew his mother would never see how he had grown and it was unclear if his father ever would. Inside this man who was second-only-to-Pharaoh lived an unfulfilled little boy - eager to show his parents what he had become, eager to make them proud of him, eager to bask in and be the source of their tender feelings.
All this was no doubt swirling around inside Joseph as he once again saw his brothers, and especially Benjamin. No doubt Benjamin awakened this yearning child in Joseph. For Benjamin was not only his full brother, but a reminder to Joseph of himself as a child, and the blessings of which he was deprived. For Benjamin, unlike Joseph, lived a lifetime in his native land, speaking his native language, in the midst of a loving father and a slew of brothers, all of whom doted on and cared for him.
The emotions must have been building in Joseph for all the months he had been anticipating this encounter. And then, seeing Benjamin, he spoke those three tender words (v. 29): “May-God be-gracious-to-you, my-son.”
In a flash, this mighty man who had buried so many feelings of pain, fear and loss over the years was now overcome with emotion – so he ran from the room to cry.
Why just then? What was it about that moment, those words? It was no doubt in part the special feelings he had for Benjamin, unique among all the brothers. But perhaps it was also because those words – which slipped seemingly spontaneously from his mouth - were echoes of words he had often heard, words his mother and father would say to him. And all of a sudden, it must have seemed that it wasn’t Benjamin standing there before him, but himself – the beloved lost child of Rachel and Jacob.
So the dam broke, and Joseph cried. He cried for his lost childhood; for the cuddling, comforting intimacy that was stolen from him as a boy; for the loving touch of his mother – and perhaps father – that he would never feel again; for the man he never got to show them.
He cried, and it was then that the healing could begin.
So how sad it is when our parents – for whatever reason - are not there to see them, not there to heap blessings and encouragement and love on us when we finally make it.
This was the one major tragedy of Joseph’s life – that the grandeur of his station was unknown to his parents, that he knew his mother would never see how he had grown and it was unclear if his father ever would. Inside this man who was second-only-to-Pharaoh lived an unfulfilled little boy - eager to show his parents what he had become, eager to make them proud of him, eager to bask in and be the source of their tender feelings.
All this was no doubt swirling around inside Joseph as he once again saw his brothers, and especially Benjamin. No doubt Benjamin awakened this yearning child in Joseph. For Benjamin was not only his full brother, but a reminder to Joseph of himself as a child, and the blessings of which he was deprived. For Benjamin, unlike Joseph, lived a lifetime in his native land, speaking his native language, in the midst of a loving father and a slew of brothers, all of whom doted on and cared for him.
The emotions must have been building in Joseph for all the months he had been anticipating this encounter. And then, seeing Benjamin, he spoke those three tender words (v. 29): “May-God be-gracious-to-you, my-son.”
In a flash, this mighty man who had buried so many feelings of pain, fear and loss over the years was now overcome with emotion – so he ran from the room to cry.
Why just then? What was it about that moment, those words? It was no doubt in part the special feelings he had for Benjamin, unique among all the brothers. But perhaps it was also because those words – which slipped seemingly spontaneously from his mouth - were echoes of words he had often heard, words his mother and father would say to him. And all of a sudden, it must have seemed that it wasn’t Benjamin standing there before him, but himself – the beloved lost child of Rachel and Jacob.
So the dam broke, and Joseph cried. He cried for his lost childhood; for the cuddling, comforting intimacy that was stolen from him as a boy; for the loving touch of his mother – and perhaps father – that he would never feel again; for the man he never got to show them.
He cried, and it was then that the healing could begin.
(ל) וַיְמַהֵ֣ר יוֹסֵ֗ף כִּֽי־נִכְמְר֤וּ רַחֲמָיו֙ אֶל־אָחִ֔יו וַיְבַקֵּ֖שׁ לִבְכּ֑וֹת וַיָּבֹ֥א הַחַ֖דְרָה וַיֵּ֥בְךְּ שָֽׁמָּה׃
(30) With that, Joseph hurried out, for he was overcome with feeling toward his brother and was on the verge of tears; he went into a room and wept there.
Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin is a community rabbi who lives in Baltimore
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