כבד את אביך ואת אמך - רז חרזי

Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that the LORD your God is assigning to you.

(3) You shall each revere his mother and his father, and keep My sabbaths: I the LORD am your God.

It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi says: It is revealed and known before the One Who spoke and the world came into being that a son honors his mother more than he honors his father, because she persuades him with many statements of encouragement and does not treat him harshly. Therefore, in the mitzva of: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:11), the Holy One, Blessed be He, preceded the mention of the honor due one’s father before mentioning the honor due one’s mother. The verse emphasizes the duty that does not come naturally. Similarly, it is revealed and known before the One Who spoke and the world came into being that a son fears his father more than his mother, because his father teaches him Torah, and consequently he is strict with him. Therefore, in the verse: “A man shall fear his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3), the Holy One, Blessed be He, preceded the mention of fear of the mother before the mention of fear of the father.

למען יארכון ימיך THAT THY DAYS MAY BE LONG — If thou honourest them they will be long, and if not, they will be shortened — for the words of the Torah may be explained as concise statements: from what is included in a positive statement we may infer the negative and from what is included in a negative statement we may infer the positive (Mekhilta d'Rabbi Yishmael 20:12:2).

(10) And if he [the one spoken against] were his older brother, or his mother's husband or his father's wife, he also transgresses the positive commandment of "honoring," their having been included [in this mitzvah by the addition of "ve'eth", [(Shemoth 20:12): "Honor your father and [ve'eth] your mother," as explained in Kethuvoth 103a)]. How much more so — if, G–d forbid, [he speaks lashon hara] against his father or mother themselves, where he certainly transgresses the positive commandment of honoring father and mother — [is such lashon hara especially egregious]! Aside from all this, he also transgresses (Devarim 27:16): "Cursed is he who demeans his father and his mother" — may Heaven protect us!

כבד את אביך, “Honour your father;” elsewhere we have a more detailed formulation of what is meant by “honouring” our parents, i.e. when Solomon spelled this out in Proverbs 3,9 saying: כבד את ה׳ מהונך, “honour the Lord with (part) of your wealth; all G-d asks of us is a small part of the wealth He has granted us, not all of it. We are to emulate Him in our relations with our parents, our progenitors on this earth. In Leviticus, another aspect of our relationship with our parents has been legislated when the Torah writes in Leviticus 19,3 as the first commandment after bidding us to try and become holy ourselves, that we are to revere our parents. When the Torah there continues with repeating the requirement to observe the negative commandments of His Sabbath, it hints at the definition of “reverence” being not to disregard our parents’ instructions. The Torah decrees the death penalty for anyone who curses father or mother (Exodus 21,17) a penalty similar to that decreed for cursing G-d, (using a euphemism, which is difficult to warn him not to use in this fashion) (Leviticus 24,15) (which because not carried out by human tribunal makes that sin practically unforgivable so that the penalty will be karet, posthumous disbarment as member of the Jewish people.) The death penalty for cursing parents is completely natural, as when cursing one’s parents one automatically curses G-d also, as He is one third partner in any human being, having supplied the soul. (Talmud Kidushin folio 30)