(א) וַיִּקְח֣וּ בְנֵֽי־אַ֠הֲרֹן נָדָ֨ב וַאֲבִיה֜וּא אִ֣ישׁ מַחְתָּת֗וֹ וַיִּתְּנ֤וּ בָהֵן֙ אֵ֔שׁ וַיָּשִׂ֥ימוּ עָלֶ֖יהָ קְטֹ֑רֶת וַיַּקְרִ֜בוּ לִפְנֵ֤י ה' אֵ֣שׁ זָרָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֧ר לֹ֦א צִוָּ֖ה אֹתָֽם׃
(ב) וַתֵּ֥צֵא אֵ֛שׁ מִלִּפְנֵ֥י ה' וַתֹּ֣אכַל אוֹתָ֑ם וַיָּמֻ֖תוּ לִפְנֵ֥י ה'׃
(ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֜ה אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֗ן הוּא֩ אֲשֶׁר־דִּבֶּ֨ר ה' ׀ לֵאמֹר֙ בִּקְרֹבַ֣י אֶקָּדֵ֔שׁ וְעַל־פְּנֵ֥י כָל־הָעָ֖ם אֶכָּבֵ֑ד
וַיִּדֹּ֖ם אַהֲרֹֽן׃
(1) Now Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu each took his fire pan, put fire in it, and laid incense on it; and they offered before the LORD alien fire, which God had not enjoined upon them.
(2) And fire came forth from the LORD and consumed them; thus they died at the instance of the LORD.
(3) Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what the LORD meant when God said: Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, And gain glory before all the people.”
And Aaron was silent.
Shem Olam: Leviticus 10:3
Rabbi Eliezer Lipman Lichtenstein (Translation by Rabbi Shai Held)
The Torah describes Aarons response with the word vayidom rather than vayishtok. Although the two terms appear to be synonymous- both convey that the person kept silent- there is a strong distinction between them. Vayishtok suggests abstaining from speaking, weeping ,groaning, or any other outward manifestation, while vayidom connotes inner peace and calmness of spirit. The Torah describes Aaron with this latter term, in order to emphasize that his heart was at peace and his spirit calm even internally; he did not question God’s ways but accepted God’s decree.
ואמרו וידום אהרן כתב הרב רבי משה בר נחמן שהיה אהרן בוכה וצועק במר רוחו וכאשר דבר משה שתק ולא בכה עוד ואינו נכון שירים קולו ויצעק לפני האלקים ביום חתונתו וביום שמחת לבו. אבל פירוש וידום אהרן הוא שנהפך לבו והיה כאבן דומם ולא נשא קולו בבכי ובמספד כאבל אב על בנים. גם לא קבל תנחומים ממשה כי לא נותרה בו נשמה והדבור אין בו ולכן אמר וידום אהרן שהוא מלשון דומם ושותק.
וידום אהרן, “Aaron remained silent.” Silence is one of the ways in which mourning is expressed; the various ways in which mourning is to be expressed have been spelled out by Ezekiel 24,16-17: “O mortal man, I am about to take away the delight of your eyes from you through pestilence; but you shall not lament or weep or let your tears flow. Moan, softly; observe no mourning for the dead. Put on your turban and put your sandals on your feet; do not cover your upper lip, and do not eat the bread of the comforters.” During the next few verses the death of Ezekiel’s wife is reported.
From verse 21-22 G’d continues His instructions to the prophet saying: “Tell the house of Israel: ‘thus said the Lord, G’d: I am going to desecrate My Sanctuary, your pride and glory, the delight of your eyes and the desire of your heart; .....and you shall do as I have done. You shall not cover your upper lips or eat the bread of comforters, and your turbans shall remain on your head and your sandals on your feet. And Ezekiel shall be become a portent for you.’”
Ezekiel had been prophesying the forthcoming destruction of Jerusalem, the destruction of the Temple, and the exile of the population to the lands of their enemies so that they would not have time to observe the normal rites of mourning.
The prohibition of things a mourner must not do mentioned in that chapter comprises five items: 1) washing oneself, 2) anointing one’s skin with oil or other lotions; 3) sexual intercourse, 4) attending to one’s business, 5) study of Torah. Anyone of the aforementioned activities comes under the heading of שמחה, an activity which causes joy. Seeing that joy is the opposite of mourning, it stands to reason that these items are forbidden to people observing mourning. Attending to business and the study of Torah are lumped together in a single verse when David said in Psalms 119,162: שש אנכי על אמרתך כמוצא שלל רב, “I rejoice over Your words as one who has found a great spoil.” This proves that both pursuits are described as resulting in joy. Isaiah 9,2 also makes it plain that joy, גילה, is associated with the acquisition of spoils.
Shai Held: Heart of Torah (Of Grief Public and Private)
Bible scholar Baruch Levin suggests that there are actually two separate meanings to the biblical hebrew root daled-mem-mem. The first more common meaning is ‘to be still’ and as we have seen, this how biblical commentators have almost always under the term vayidom when applied to Aaron: “And Aaron was silent.” The second, less familiar meaning is “to mourn, to moan.” The two meanings are obviously incompatible, and yet, fascinatingly- as in our story- because they are ‘usually homophonous and homographic,’ it is often difficult to discern which one is intended. Levine argues that Lev. 10:3 says nothing about Aaron keeping silent. On the contrary the second meaning of daled-mem-mem is intended: “And Aaron mourned/moaned!” On Levine’s interpretation the Torah tells us that “Aaron reacted in the customary manner; he moaned or wailed and was about to initiate formal mourning lamentation for his two lost sons.”
כשמת בנו של רבן יוחנן בן זכאי נכנסו תלמידיו לנחמו. נכנס רבי אליעזר וישב לפניו וא״ל רבי רצונך אומר דבר אחד לפניך א״ל אמור. א״ל אדה״ר היה לו בן ומת וקבל עליו תנחומין. ומניין שקבל עליו תנחומין שנא׳ (בראשית ד׳:כ״ה) וידע אדם עוד את אשתו אף אתה קבל תנחומין א״ל לא די לי שאני מצטער בעצמי אלא שהזכרת לי צערו של אדה״ר. נכנס ר׳ יהושע וא״ל רצונך אומר דבר אחד לפניך א״ל אמור. א״ל איוב היו לו בנים ובנות ומתו כולם ביום אחד וקבל עליהם תנחומין אף אתה קבל תנחומין. ומניין שקבל איוב תנחומין שנא׳ (איוב א׳:כ״א-כ״ב) ה׳ נתן וה׳ לקח יהי שם ה׳ מבורך. א״ל לא די לי שאני מצטער בעצמי אלא שהזכרת לי צערו של איוב. נכנס ר׳ יוסי וישב לפניו א״ל רבי רצונך אומר דבר אחד לפניך א״ל אמור. א״ל אהרן היו לו שני בנים גדולים ומתו שניהם ביום אחד וקבל עליהם תנחומין שנאמר (ויקרא י׳:ג׳) וידם אהרן אין שתיקה אלא תנחומין ואף אתה קבל תנחומין. א״ל לא די לי שאני מצטער בעצמי אלא שהזכרתני צערו של אהרן. נכנס ר״ש וא״ל רבי רצונך אומר דבר אחד לפניך א״ל אמור. א״ל דוד המלך היה לו בן ומת וקבל עליו תנחומין ואף אתה קבל תנחומין ומניין שקבל דוד תנחומין שנא׳ (שמואל ב י״ב:כ״ד) וינחם דוד את בת שבע אשתו ויבא אליה וישכב עמה ותלד בן ויקרא את שמו שלמה אף אתה רבי קבל תנחומין. א״ל לא די שאני מצטער בעצמי אלא שהזכרתני צערו של דוד המלך. נכנס ר״א בן עזריה כיון שראהו אמר לשמשו טול לפני כלי ולך אחרי לבית המרחץ לפי שאדם גדול הוא ואיני יכול לעמוד בו נכנס וישב לפניו ואמר לו אמשול לך משל למה״ד לאדם שהפקיד אצלו המלך פקדון בכל יום ויום היה בוכה וצועק ואומר אוי לי אימתי אצא מן הפקדון הזה בשלום אף אתה רבי היה לך בן קרא תורה מקרא נביאים וכתובים משנה הלכות ואגדות ונפטר מן העולם בלא חטא [ויש לך לקבל עליך תנחומים כשחזרת פקדונך שלם] א״ל ר׳ אלעזר בני נחמתני כדרך שבני אדם מנחמין...
When Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai’s son died, his students came in to comfort him.
Rabbi Eliezer came in and sat before him and said: My master, if you please, may I say something? He said: Speak. So he said: Adam the first person had a son who died and he accepted comfort. And how do we know that he accepted comfort? For it says (Genesis 4:25), “And Adam knew his wife again.” So you, too, should accept comfort. He replied: Is it not enough that I have my own pain but that you need to remind me of Adam’s pain as well?
Rabbi Yehoshua came in and said to him: If you please, may I say something before you? He said: Speak. So he said: Job had sons and daughters, and they all died on the same day, and he accepted comfort. So you, too, should accept comfort. And how do we know that Job accepted comfort? For it says (Job 1:21), “The Eternal has given, and the Eternal has taken away. Blessed is the name of the Eternal.” He replied: Is it not enough that I have my own pain but that you have to remind me of Job’s pain as well?
Rabbi Yosei came in and sat before him and said: My master, if you please, may I say something? He said: Speak. So he said: Aaron had two older sons and they both died on the same day, and he accepted comfort, as it says (Leviticus 10:3), “And Aaron was silent,” and silence always indicates comfort. He replied: Is it not enough that I have my own pain but that you have to remind me of Aaron’s pain as well?
Rabbi Shimon came in and said: My master, if you please, may I say something? He said: Speak. So he said: King David had a son who died, and he accepted comfort. So you, too, should accept comfort. And how do we know that David accepted comfort? For it says (II Samuel 12:24), “David comforted his wife Bath Sheba, and he came to her and lay with her, and she gave birth to another son, and called him Solomon.” So you, too, should accept comfort. He replied: Is it not enough that I have my own pain but that you have to remind me of King David’s pain as well?
Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah came in. When [Rabbi Yohanan] saw him, he said to his steward: Take this vessel, and follow me to the bathhouse, because this is a great man, and I will not be able to withstand him. So [Rabbi Elazar] came in and sat before [Rabbi Yohanan] and said: Let me give you a parable. To what can this be compared? [It can be compared] to a person to whom the king gave a deposit to hold. Every day he would cry and scream and say, Oy, when will I be free of this deposit? So it is with you, Rabbi. You had a son who read from the Torah, the Prophets and the Writings; the Mishnah; Halakhah; and Aggadah; and then was taken from the world free of sin. [Must you, then, accept consolation when you have returned a deposit whole?] He said: Rabbi Elazar, my son, you have comforted me as people are supposed to....