"Processing Tragedy and Hardship: Marror as the Ideal Karpas"

(ה) אלו ירקות שיוצא בהם ידי חובתו חזרת עולשין תמכ' חרחבינ' (פי' מיני עשבים מרים) מרור ויוצאי' בעלין שלהן ובקלחן אבל לא בשורש אלא שבעלין אין יוצאין אא"כ הם לחים ובקלחים יוצאין בין לחים בין יבשים אבל לא כבושים ולא שלוקים ולא מבושלים וכולם מצטרפין לכזית שהוא השיעור שלהם ועיקר המצוה בחזרת ואם אין לו חזרת יחזיר אחר ראשון ראשון כפי הסדר שהם שנויים: הגה ואם אין לו אחד מאלו הירקות יקח לענה או שאר ירק מר (אגור) וחרוסת יעשה עב זכר לטיט ואח"כ נותנין בו מעט חומץ או יין אדום זכר לדם (טור) ועושין חרוסת מפירות שנמשלו בהם ישראל (תוס' פ' ע"פ) כגון תפוחים תאנים אגוזים רימונים שקדים ונותנין עליו תבלין כגון קנמון וזנגביל הדומין לתבן שהיו מגבלין בו הטיט: (טור)

Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayim 473

(1) We pour for him the first cup and make a berakha over it, and make the berakha of Sheheheyanu. And if it falls out on Shabbat, one should say "Vaykhulu," and if it falls on Motzae Shabbat one should say ---. And if he forgot to say Havdala and didn't remember until he started the Hagada, he should finish the Hagada until the berakha of "Gaal Yisrael" and afterwards he should say Havdala. (And one should not wash his hands at all before Kidush. If one's hands aren't clean, he should wash a little, but not make a berakha. And the master of the household should not pour for himself, rather another should pour for him like the way of freedom.)

(2) One should drink while reclining and not make a berakha afterwards.

(3) If one wants to drink many cups, he has permission to do so. Nevertheless, it's proper not to drink between the first and second cups, if there's no great need, so that he won't get drunk and be prevented from performing the Seder and the reading of the Hagada.

(7) We pour for him the second cup, so that the children will ask why we drink the second cup before the meal. If the son has no wisdom, the father teaches him. If he has no son, his wife should ask him. If he does not even have a wife, he should ask himself. Even scholars should ask each other "what is different," etc. (And when the son or the wife asks, there is no need to say "what is different," but they may begin from "we were slaves.") And when one begins "We were slaves to Pharaoh," he should return the Seder plate, that on it are the matzot, before him, and read the entire Hagada. And when he reaches the matza or has to raise it, he should show it to those reclining so that they will be attached to the mitzva. (And some lift the matza which is like bread of affliction). And similarly when he reached "this maror." And when he reaches "therefore," everyone should lift his cup in his hand until the end of "Gaal Yisrael." (And some have the custom to throw a little bit from the cup with one's finger when one reaches "blood, fire, and pillars of smoke," and similarly when one mentions the plagues; in all 16 times. And the matza should be uncovered when one says the Hagada until "therefore," when he holds the cup in his hand. Then he should cover the matza.)

פסחים קט״ז א:ו׳

מָה נִשְׁתַּנָּה הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכׇּל הַלֵּילוֹת. שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה — כּוּלּוֹ מַצָּה. שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה — מָרוֹר. שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין בָּשָׂר צָלִי שָׁלוּק וּמְבוּשָּׁל, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה — כּוּלּוֹ צָלִי. שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ מַטְבִּילִין פַּעַם אֶחָת, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה — שְׁתֵּי פְעָמִים.

Pesachim 116a:6

The mishna lists the questions: Why is this night different from all other nights? As on all other nights we eat leavened bread and matza as preferred; on this night all our bread is matza. As on all other nights we eat other vegetables; on this night we eat bitter herbs. The mishna continues its list of the questions. When the Temple was standing one would ask: As on all other nights we eat either roasted, stewed, or cooked meat, but on this night all the meat is the roasted meat of the Paschal lamb. The final question was asked even after the destruction of the Temple: As on all other nights we dip the vegetables in a liquid during the meal only once; however, on this night we dip twice.

תוספות על פסחים קט״ז א:ו׳:א׳

הלילה הזה מרור - הא דלא אמר כולו מרור משום דאכלינן שאר ירקות בטיבול ראשון:

Tosafot on Pesachim 116a:6:1

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פסחים קי״ד ב:א׳

גְּמָ׳ אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ: זֹאת אוֹמֶרֶת מִצְוֹת צְרִיכוֹת כַּוּוֹנָה. כֵּיוָן דְּלָא בְּעִידָּן חִיּוּבָא דְּמָרוֹר הוּא דְּאָכֵיל לֵיהּ, בְּ״בוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה״ הוּא דְּאָכֵיל לֵיהּ. וְדִילְמָא לָא אִיכַּוַּון לְמָרוֹר, הִלְכָּךְ בָּעֵי לְמֶהְדַּר לְאַטְבּוֹלֵי לְשֵׁם מָרוֹר. דְּאִי סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ מִצְוָה לָא בָּעֲיָא כַּוּוֹנָה, לְמָה לָךְ תְּרֵי טִיבּוּלֵי? וְהָא טַבֵּיל לֵיהּ חֲדָא זִימְנָא!

Pesachim 114b:1

GEMARA: Reish Lakish said: That is to say that mitzvot require intent. One who performs a mitzva must do so with the intent to fulfill his obligation. The proof of this from the mishna is that since one does not eat the lettuce at the time of his obligation to eat bitter herbs, he eats it after reciting only one blessing: Who creates fruit of the ground. And clearly the reason is that perhaps he did not intend to fulfill his obligation to eat bitter herbs, and therefore he needs to dip it again for the purpose of bitter herbs. For if it could enter your mind that mitzvot do not require intent, why do you need two dippings? But he has already dipped the lettuce once.

פסחים קי״ד ב:ב׳

מִמַּאי? דִּילְמָא: לְעוֹלָם מִצְוֹת אֵין צְרִיכוֹת כַּוּוֹנָה, וּדְקָאָמְרַתְּ תְּרֵי טִיבּוּלֵי לְמָה לִי? כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלֶיהְוֵי הֶיכֵּירָא לְתִינוֹקוֹת.

Pesachim 114b:2

The Gemara rejects this contention: From where do you know that this is the case? Perhaps I can say that actually mitzvot do not require intent. And that which you said, why do I need two dippings, perhaps the reason is so that there should be a conspicuous distinction for the children, which will cause them to inquire into the difference between this night and all others.

פסחים קי״ד ב:ג׳

וְכִי תֵימָא: אִם כֵּן לַישְׁמְעִינַן שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת? אִי אַשְׁמְעִינַן שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת, הֲוָה אָמֵינָא: הֵיכָא דְּאִיכָּא שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת הוּא דְּבָעֵינַן תְּרֵי טִיבּוּלֵי, אֲבָל חֲזֶרֶת לְחוֹדֵהּ לָא בָּעֵי תְּרֵי טִיבּוּלֵי, קָמַשְׁמַע לַן דַּאֲפִילּוּ חֲזֶרֶת בָּעֵינַן תְּרֵי טִיבּוּלֵי, כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלֶיהְוֵי בֵּיהּ הֶיכֵּירָא לְתִינוֹקוֹת.

Pesachim 114b:3

And if you say: If so, let the tanna teach us this halakha with regard to other vegetables as well, as there is no obvious reason that lettuce is chosen for this distinction. In response, I would say that had the mishna taught us about other vegetables, I would have said that it is only where there are other vegetables that one requires two dippings, one for the other vegetables and one for the bitter herbs; however, if one has only ḥazeret, he does not require two dippings, as one dipping is sufficient. Therefore, the mishna teaches us that even if one has just ḥazeret he requires two dippings, so that there be a conspicuous distinction for the children.

פסחים קי״ד א:י׳

מַתְנִי׳ הֵבִיאוּ לְפָנָיו, מְטַבֵּל בַּחֲזֶרֶת עַד שֶׁמַּגִּיעַ לְפַרְפֶּרֶת הַפַּת. הֵבִיאוּ לְפָנָיו מַצָּה וַחֲזֶרֶת וַחֲרוֹסֶת וּשְׁנֵי תַבְשִׁילִין, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין חֲרוֹסֶת מִצְוָה. רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר (בֶּן) צָדוֹק אוֹמֵר: מִצְוָה. וּבְמִקְדָּשׁ הָיוּ מְבִיאִין לְפָנָיו גּוּפוֹ שֶׁל פֶּסַח.

Pesachim 114a:10

MISHNA: The attendants brought vegetables before the leader of the seder prior to the meal, if there were no other vegetables on the table. He dips the ḥazeret into water or vinegar, to taste some food before he reaches the dessert of the bread, i.e., the bitter herbs, which were eaten after the matza. They brought before him matza and ḥazeret and ḥaroset, and at least two cooked dishes in honor of the Festival. The tanna comments that this was the practice, although eating ḥaroset is not a mitzva but merely a custom. Rabbi Eliezer ben Tzadok says: Actually, it is a mitzva to eat ḥaroset. And in the period when the Temple stood and they offered the Paschal lamb, they brought before him the body of the Paschal lamb.

פסחים קי״ד ב:ו׳

תַּנָּאֵי הִיא. דְּתַנְיָא, רַבִּי יוֹסֵי אוֹמֵר: אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁטִּיבֵּל בַּחֲזֶרֶת — מִצְוָה לְהָבִיא לְפָנָיו חֲזֶרֶת וַחֲרוֹסֶת וּשְׁנֵי תַבְשִׁילִין.

Pesachim 114b:6

The Gemara answers: The issue of whether or not mitzvot require intent is a dispute between tanna’im, as it was taught in a baraita: Rabbi Yosei says: Although one has already dipped the ḥazeret once, it is a mitzva to bring before him ḥazeret and ḥaroset, and two cooked dishes. Apparently, he lacked intention during his first consumption of lettuce, and therefore he must be given additional lettuce with which to fulfill his obligation.

פסחים קי״ד ב:י״א

פְּשִׁיטָא, הֵיכָא דְּאִיכָּא שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת, מְבָרֵךְ אַשְּׁאָר יְרָקוֹת ״בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה״ וְאָכֵיל, וַהֲדַר מְבָרֵךְ ״עַל אֲכִילַת מָרוֹר״ וְאָכֵיל.

Pesachim 114b:11

With regard to the halakha of eating vegetables, the Gemara clarifies: It is obvious that where there are other vegetables available besides bitter herbs, at the first dipping one recites over the other vegetables the blessing: Who creates fruit of the ground, and eats, with the intention of including in this blessing the bitter herbs he will eat later. And then, at the second dipping, he recites the blessing: Commanded us over eating bitter herbs, on the lettuce and eats it.

פסחים קי״ד ב:י״ב

הֵיכָא דְּלֵיכָּא אֶלָּא חַסָּא, מַאי? אָמַר רַב הוּנָא: מְבָרֵךְ מֵעִיקָּרָא אַמָּרוֹר ״בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה״ וְאָכֵיל, וּלְבַסּוֹף מְבָרֵךְ עֲלֵיהּ ״עַל אֲכִילַת מָרוֹר״ וְאָכֵיל.

Pesachim 114b:12

However, what is the halakha where there is only lettuce available? When should one recite each blessing? Rav Huna said: One initially recites the blessing: Who creates fruit of the ground, over the bitter herbs, i.e., the lettuce, and eats them. And ultimately, after the matza, one recites the blessing: Commanded us over eating bitter herbs, over the lettuce and eats it.

פסחים קט״ו א:א׳

מַתְקֵיף לַהּ רַב חִסְדָּא: לְאַחַר שֶׁמִּילֵּא כְּרֵיסוֹ הֵימֶנּוּ חוֹזֵר וּמְבָרֵךְ עֲלֵיהּ? אֶלָּא אָמַר רַב חִסְדָּא: מֵעִיקָּרָא מְבָרֵךְ עֲלֵיהּ ״בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה״ וְ״עַל אֲכִילַת מָרוֹר״ וְאָכֵיל, וּלְבַסּוֹף אָכֵיל אֲכִילַת חַסָּא בְּלֹא בְּרָכָה.

Pesachim 115a:1

Rav Ḥisda strongly objects to this opinion: Do you think that after one fills his belly with lettuce, he then recites another blessing over it? Rather, Rav Ḥisda said: Initially one recites two blessings over the lettuce: Who creates fruit of the ground, and: Commanded us over eating bitter herbs, and he eats it; and later in the seder he eats lettuce without a blessing.

פסחים קט״ו א:ב׳

בְּסוּרְיָא עָבְדִי כְּרַב הוּנָא, וְרַב שֵׁשֶׁת בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַב יְהוֹשֻׁעַ עָבֵיד כְּרַב חִסְדָּא. וְהִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ דְּרַב חִסְדָּא. רַב אַחָא בְּרֵיהּ דְּרָבָא מְהַדַּר אַשְּׁאָר יְרָקוֹת לְאַפּוֹקֵי נַפְשֵׁיהּ מִפְּלוּגְתָּא.

Pesachim 115a:2

The Gemara comments: In Syria, they act in accordance with the opinion of Rav Huna. And Rav Sheshet, son of Rav Yehoshua, acted in accordance with the opinion of Rav Ḥisda. The Gemara summarizes: And the halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rav Ḥisda. The Gemara relates that Rav Aḥa, son of Rava, would seek other vegetables for Passover to preclude himself from taking sides in the dispute. He first recited only the blessing: Who creates fruit of the ground, and later added the blessing: Commanded us over eating bitter herbs, thereby satisfying all opinions.

שמות י״ב:ח׳

(ח) וְאָכְל֥וּ אֶת־הַבָּשָׂ֖ר בַּלַּ֣יְלָה הַזֶּ֑ה צְלִי־אֵ֣שׁ וּמַצּ֔וֹת עַל־מְרֹרִ֖ים יֹאכְלֻֽהוּ׃

Exodus 12:8

(8) They shall eat the flesh that same night; they shall eat it roasted over the fire, with unleavened bread and with bitter herbs.

אור החיים על שמות י״ב:ח׳:ג׳

ומצות על מרורים. לפי פשט הכתוב לפי מה שראינו שאמר ה' שצריך צלי אש ושיהיה שלם כו' זה יגיד שדעת עליון הוא להראות בחינה הגדולה והחירות ואין רשות אחרים עליהם, ולפי זה גם המרורים שיצו ה' הוא לצד כי כן דרך אוכלי צלי לאכול עמו דבר חד כי בזה יערב לחיך האוכל ויאכל בכל אות נפשו. גם בזה יוכר גודל העריבות כשיקדים לפיו מרורים. גם מה שהזכיר המצות הוא פרט אשר יכונן חיך אוכל יטעם לו הצלי.

Or HaChaim on Exodus 12:8:3

ומצות על מרורים, together with unleavened bread and bitter herbs. The plain meaning of the verse seems to be that the roasting of the lamb whole is a symbol of freedom. Freedom means wholeness. The requirement to eat bitter herbs with it is natural; Egyptians used to eat roast meat with something pungent as this enhanced the taste of the meat and enabled the person who ate it to thoroughly enjoy his meal. Letting the bitter herbs precede the meat in his mouth made one more conscious of the contrast and of how something which by itself had tasted bitter would suddenly transform the whole meal into an enjoyable experience. The unleavened bread also contributed to that feeling. We therefore find that there were three components which combined to make the meal enjoyable.

תלמוד ירושלמי פסחים י׳:ג׳:ב׳-ד׳

חברייא בשם רבי יוחנן צריך לטבל בחזרת ב' פעמים רבי זעירה בשם רבי יוחנן אין צריך לטבל בחזרת ב' פעמים ר' שמעון בן לקיש אמר אם לא טבל פעם ראשונה צריך לטבל פעם שנייה. מתניתא פליגא על ר' שמעון בן לקיש שבכל הלילות אנו מטבילים פעם אחת והלילה הזה שתי פעמים. סבר רבי שמעון בן לקיש על הדא דבר קפרא מתניתא פליגא על בר קפרא שבכל הלילות אנו מטבילין אותו עם הפת וכאן אנו מטבילין אותו בפני עצמו. מתניתא פליגא על רבי יוחנן יוצאין במצה בין שכיוון בין שלא כיוון והכא מכיון שהסיב חזקה כיוון. מתיב רבי ירמיה קומי רבי זעירה מתניתא פליגא על רבי שמעון בן לקיש הביאו לפניו מצה וחזרת וחרוסת אף על פי שאין חרוסת מצוה חזרת מצוה. אמר ליה שכן רב מטבל בתירדין. תגרי ירושלם היו אומרים בואו וטלו לכם תבלי מצוה. בני בייתיה דאיסי בשם איסי ולמה נקרא שמה רובה שהיא רבה עמו ר' יהושע בן לוי אמר צריכא שתהא עבה. מילתיה אמר זכר לטיט. אית תניי תני צבריה שתהא רבה. מילתיה אמר זכר לדם. תני ובגבולין צריכין שני תבשילין אחד זכר לפסח ואחד זכר לחגיגה:

Jerusalem Talmud Pesachim 10:3:2-4

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רש"י על בראשית ל״ז:ג׳:ב׳

(ב) פסים. לְשׁוֹן כְּלִי מֵילָת, כְּמוֹ כַּרְפַּס וּתְכֵלֶת, וּכְמוֹ כְּתֹנֶת הַפַּסִּים דְּתָמָר וְאַמְנוֹן, וּמִ"אַ עַ"שֵׁ צָרוֹתָיו, שֶׁנִּמְכַּר לְפוֹטִיפַר וְלַסּוֹחֲרִים וְלַיִּשְׁמְעֵאלִים וְלַמִּדְיָנִים:

Rashi on Genesis 37:3:2

(2) פסים is a term for raiment of fine wool (Shabbat 10b). Similar is (Ester 1:6) כרפס “Fine linen and blue”. The same garment כתנת הפסים is mentioned (2 Samuel 13:18) in the story of Amnon and Tamar and we may therefore gather that it was made of very fine material. There is a Midrashic statement that in the word פסים we may find an allusion to all his misfortunes: he was sold to Potiphar (פוטיפר), to the merchants (סוחרים), to the Ishmaelites (ישמעאלים), and to the Midianites (מדינים) (Genesis Rabbah 84:8).

It's Okay that you are not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that does not Understand, by Megan Devine. pg 59-60
We've got this idea that there are only two options in grief: you're either going to be stuck in your pain, doomed to spend the rest of your life in a rocking corner of your basement wearing sackcloth or you're going to triumph over grief be transformed and come back even better than you were before. Just two options. On, Off. Eternally Broken or completely healed. We have to find a new model. A better story to live into.
There is a whole middle ground between those two extremes but we don't know how to talk about it.... what i am proposing is a third path, a way to tend to the pain and grief by bearing witness. By neither turning away, nor by rushing redemption but by standing there, right there, inside the obliterated universe. By somehow making a home there...by changing our orientation to grief as a problem to be solved and instead to see it as an experience to be carried, as a mystery to be honored. The new model of grief is not in cleaning it up and making it go away; its in finding new and beautiful ways to inhabit what hurts, to carry it with us and integrate it into our lives.

שבת י״ג ב:ד׳

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: מִי כָּתַב מְגִילַּת תַּעֲנִית? — אָמְרוּ, חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן חִזְקִיָּה וְסִיעָתוֹ שֶׁהָיוּ מְחַבְּבִין אֶת הַצָּרוֹת.

Shabbat 13b:4

The Sages taught in a baraita with regard to Megillat Ta’anit, which is a list of days of redemption that were established as celebrations for generations: Who wrote Megillat Ta’anit? This scroll was written by Ḥananya ben Ḥizkiya ben Garon and his faction, who held dear the memory of the troubles that befell Israel and their salvation from them.

רש"י על שבת י״ג ב:ד׳:ב׳

מחבבין את הצרות - שנגאלין מהן והנס חביב עליהן להזכירו לשבחו של הקב"ה הוא וכותבין ימי הנס לעשותן יום טוב כגון אלין יומין דלא להתענאה בהון כו':

Rashi on Shabbat 13b:4:2

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