#2 - The Bechira Point

[Opening]

Dessler

Everyone has free choice –at the point where truth meets falsehood. In other words Bechirah takes place at that point where the truth as the person sees it confronts the illusion produced in him by the power of falsehood7. But the majority of a person’s actions are undertaken without any clash between truth and falsehood taking place. Many of a person’ actions may happen to coincide with what is objectively right because he has been brought up that way and it does not occur to him to do otherwise, and many bad and false decisions may be taken simply because the person does not realize that they are bad. In such cases no valid Bechirah, or choice, has been made...

Dessler

For example, one may have been brought up in an environment of Torah, among people who devote themselves to good deeds. In this case his Bechirah point will not be whether or not to commit an actual sin but whether to do a mitzvah with more or less devotion and kavanah/intention. Another may be brought up among evildoers of the lowest grade, among thieves and robbers. For him, whether or not to steal does not present any Bechirah at all. His Bechirah point might be on the question of shooting his way out when discovered... this is where for him the forces of... truth and untruth, are evenly balanced.

Dessler

It must be realized that this Bechirah point does not remain static in any given individual. With each good Bechirah successfully carried out, the person rises higher in spiritual level: that is, things that were previously in the line of battle are now in the area controlled by the yetzer tov (good, clear thinking)... giving in to the yetzer hara (impulse for immediate gratification) pushes back the frontier of the good, and an act which previously cost one a struggle with one’s conscience will now be done without Bechirah at all.

In this essay4 Rav Dessler explains that bechira is not a theoretical concept that can be applied to any circumstance where a person can hypothetically choose between two options. Rather, it only applies to moral conflicts where the two opposing forces are of approximately equal strength, the person is aware of the internal conflict, and he makes a conscious decision in one direction. When a person does something over which he does not experience conscious conflict, or if the compelling force on one side is significantly stronger than the other, the fact that he is theoretically able to decide either way does not qualify his act as an expression of bechira.

Rav Wolbe5 makes a similar point. True bechira requires a deliberate and thoughtful decision-making process. When a child does the right thing because of fear of punishment or even to please his parents, that is not true bechira. 6 It is not surprising, therefore, that Rav Wolbe concludes that for most people exercising bechira is not as common an event as they might like to believe. Rav Dessler sharpens this point even further. A person could be doing many mitzvos and learning much Torah and still not be encountering bechira if what he is doing is only the result of his previous experiences and habits, without any self-generated growth (mitzvas anashim melumada).

True reward is only for good behavior over which there is conflict/bechira. (Of course, Hashem does reward good behavior done in non-bechira situations, but it is a much lower form of reward). If a person once had bechira over an aveira but, due to having become habituated to it, no longer has bechira to avoid it, he is then punished for having allowed himself to fall from the previous level when he still had bechira. The same is true for reward

RABBI SHEILA PELTZ WEINBERG

When I have brought mindfulness with a perspective of hitlamdut into the full experience of this moment often an opening occurs. No longer am I reflexively reacting to a situation as I have done a million times. I am approaching it anew with fresh eyes and a sense of new possibilities. There is more freedom. Choices present themselves to me. I see that I can respond in one way or another and I understand or intuit which choices are in alignment with my intentions, which are wholesome, which lead to the alleviation of suffering and which lead in the opposite direction. These choices are the bechirot, the choices and this is the crossroads, the bechirah point, where I can act freely, intentionally and in relationship with self, other and the Divine.

Both in mindfulness and middot work there is a profound goal to increase human freedom. We train for this liberation so that we can fulfill our human purpose as reflections of the Divine. We cultivate freedom of mind and heart so that we can manifest what is already present with us – our soul traits, our generosity, love and compassion, our joy and creativity. This is the crossing of the Red Sea and the slow walk toward the Promised Land, which occurs many times in our day and in our lives. We support each other in this holy project as we walk along. We cannot force ourselves to be good! It just doesn’t work. Only through the steady practice again and again of seeing what is true, without agenda or condemnation, but with compassion and patience, do we allow the Sea to part, revealing where we have freedom to choose and the knowledge and strength to choose wisely.

On the Intersection of Behira Points and Mindfulness Practice

As we begin to work with the various middot, we may find, though we intellectually endorse the strengthening of our balanced capacity for generosity or compassion or patience, that surprisingly powerful obstacles arise which challenge our ability to act in accordance with our convictions. Reasonable objections, situational considerations, overwhelming physical or emotional reactivities all can interfere with the expression of our new and desired behaviors.

Within the Mussar tradition there is an emphasis on these times, referred to as Behira or Choice Points, when we have the option to act in ways that express the middot we are cultivating. We can turn right, toward greater lovingkindness, or we can turn left in the direction of indifference or remove. Sometimes we encounter situations where the middah we are working on is called for, and we see it clearly and can readily manifest the desired behavior. Other times it is not so easy. These are times when our habitual behaviors and attitudes collide with our best intentions and aspirations. The impulse toward impenetrability or back to our old behaviors is considered to be fueled by the Yetzer HaRa, traditionally translated as the “Evil Inclination,” or as Alan Morinis calls it, the “Inner Adversary”. So we may find ourselves not infrequently facing situations in which humility or respect would be a wise response, yet we are so flooded with intense and uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that responding wisely becomes difficult, if not impossible. Behira Points.

Through the lens of mindfulness practice, these moments when we leave the present, when we are shut down, or carried away by thought or feeling, are also viewed as pivotal. Both Mussar and mindfulness see these Behira Points as prime positions for growth and spiritual elevation. Within some traditional Mussar texts, the metaphors used to encourage our attitudes toward these choice points involve militaristic vocabulary: war, fighting, etc. Mindfulness practice suggests a different approach to the times when we are overwhelmed with powerful experiences that incline us toward shutting down in sadness, or raging in anger, or cowering in fear. Rather than summoning a warlike effort to bulldoze through these challenging experiences in order to manifest the desired behavior, we are encouraged to settle into and become present with the uncomfortable feelings, and to do that with gentleness and compassion for ourselves. In this way we lean into our experience, rather than either running away or violently wrenching ourselves beyond. Over time we befriend what we think and feel, and within this field of open presence we find that our behavior naturally wiser and more in line with the middot we wish to manifest.

Even if you know what is good, right and desirable, it isn't so simple just to act that way. No sooner does an inclination to do something good come into your mind or heart than up pops an objection. It might be a contrary thought, or a feeling, or a desire pulling you in the opposite direction.

The Jewish sages give a name to this negative impulse. They call it the yetzer hara, the inclination to evil. We all have that inclination and it challenges us, which is the purpose for which it exists. We are born with free will and can choose to do good or bad, but whenever we try to do something that stretches us in the direction of good we need to expect to encounter this inner resistance arising from the shadows. We have an inner inclination to elevate and purify ourselves -- that's the yetzer hatov, the impulse to do good -- and what stands in our way is the in-built adversary, the yetzer hara.

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler has given us a very helpful concept to help us understand this give and take, push and pull we experience whenever we try to do something that reflects our ambition to elevate ourselves. He identifies what he calls the bechira-points in each of us. The word "bechira" means "choice" in Hebrew, and refers to our free will. There is, Rabbi Dessler says, an inner battle-line that is drawn right at those places where choice is very alive for you, where you really could go either way with a decision. He illustrates what he means by referring to a real battle:

When two armies are locked in battle, fighting takes place only at the battlefront. Territory behind the lines of one army is under that army's control and little or no resistance need be expected there. A similar situation prevails in respect of territory behind the lines of the other army. If one side gains a victory at the front and pushes the enemy back, the position of the battlefront will have changed. In fact, therefore, fighting takes place only at one location.

With our inner struggle, the battle takes place only at one point.

This image describes the situation we ourselves regularly face whenever we try to do anything that involves an exercise of choice. If it is an easy choice where your values and appetites are well-established, you don't experience any struggle at all. Nor is it any harder when the choice is so far outside your interests or potential; then you aren't even tempted. Rabbi Dessler zeroes in: "Free will is exercised and a valid choice made only on the borderline between the forces of good and the forces of evil within that person."

To illustrate, he gives the example of two people who are very confirmed in their relationship to material goods. One is a professional thief raised among thieves and robbers. This person has absolutely no inner struggle over whether or not to steal because that's his established way of life: "For him, whether or not to steal does not present any bechira at all," says Rabbi Dessler. But still, this person retains the potential to ascend spiritually, and so somewhere within him free will is alive and choices are real. Rabbi Dessler wonders, if this thief were to be discovered in the midst of a robbery, would he shoot his way out of the jam and run the risk of killing someone? If that question would be a real struggle for him, and the outcome uncertain, then this would define one of his bechira-points "where for him the forces of good and evil, truth and untruth, are evenly balanced."

The other person Rabbi Dessler cites is someone brought up in a good home with strong moral values. This person would have not the slightest temptation to steal a penny. Does that mean that he or she has no bechira-point where the tests of spiritual ascent are going to be faced? No, this person must have challenges too, through which they can elevate spiritually. While theft is not a real possibility here, in this case the bechira-point might refer to another aspect of relationship to property, like how much charity he or she gives, and whether giving is done generously, and with a pleasant demeanor.

So we all have bechira-points where we find choices to be challenging and the reality is that we could go either way. Your bechira-points define the front-line in your spiritual struggle. On one side is the territory of the yetzer hatov [good inclination] and on the other that of the yetzer hara [evil inclination].

Rungs on the Ladder

Rabbi Dessler concludes his discussion by advising us that this bechira-point does not remain static:

With each good choice successfully carried out, the person rises higher in spiritual level; that is, things that were previously in the line of battle are now in the area controlled by the yetzer hatov and actions done in that area can be undertaken without struggle and without bechira. And so in the other direction. Giving in to the yetzer hara pushes back the frontier of the good, and an act which previously cost one a struggle with one's conscience will now be done without bechira at all.

Think of those choices that often confront you where you really do experience the possibility of going either way. Do you waver over the second piece of dessert? Is reaching into your purse or wallet a struggle with an uncertain outcome? Do you know you should call or visit a sick friend, and yet you hesitate and vacillate over actually doing it? Do you look at the sink full of dishes and lean this way and that way and back again and go all around over whether the responsibility is yours?

These points represent the greatest potential to ascend spiritually.

You may see yourself reflected in some of these examples, or you may be able to name your own. Wherever your bechira-points may be, rest assured that you have them. They represent not only places of uncertainty in your behavior, but they are also the openings where you have the greatest potential to ascend spiritually. It is important to recognize that each choice you make can be a rung on the ladder of your spiritual ascent (or, unfortunately, the opposite).

Just as your spiritual curriculum and set of bechira-points are distinctive to you, so does your inner adversary, your yetzer hara, come at you with challenges that are uniquely tailored just to you. You're only going to be tempted or pushed in regard to traits and choices that are personal challenging for you. Perhaps you know you should be more patient with your spouse or children and you want to be, but as soon as you set that resolution, whose inner voice is it that points out to you how outrageous it is that they are so slow or late? You want to open your hand in charity, but as soon as you make the first move to reach into your pocket, where does the thought originate that wonders whether you will have enough for yourself. You decide to lose a few pounds, so who is it who tells you that having only one more won't matter?

https://www.etzion.org.il/en/shiur-03-free-will-part-3

https://www.etzion.org.il/en/shiur-02-free-will-part-2

Letter from the Birmingham Jail, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

[The goal of non-violent direct action is to] create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored [...] There is a type of construc

tive, non-violent tension which is necessary for growth. Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half-truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, we must see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood.

1. In what ways do Dr. King’s (and Socrates’) ideas about using tension to encounter

   truth relate to Rav Dessler’s Behira Point?

2. How has your activism (choose one example) created tension that raised awareness about a choice? Were you ever agitated in this way, so that a Choice Point became clear that wasn’t as clear before? If you haven’t experienced this kind of tension- creation personally, where have you seen it in social change efforts in the world?

Dr. Edith Eger was a young teenager when she and her Hungarian Jewish family were taken to Auschwitz by the Nazis. Her parents were killed immediately and she and her older sister, Magda, survived the horrors of the Shoah. The following excerpt is from Eger’s book, The Choice: Embrace the Possible. It describes a moment towards the end of a long march

from Auschwitz to Mauthausen:

A female border guard shouts at me and Magda in German and points us to a different line. I start to move. Magda stays still. The guard shouts again. Magda won’t move,

won’t respond. Is she delirious? Why won’t she follow me? The guard yells in Magda’s face and Magda shakes her head.

“I don’t understand,” Magda says to the guard in Hungarian. Of course she understands. We’re both fluent in German.

“Yes you do!” the guard shouts.

“I don’t understand,” Magda repeats. Her voice is completely neutral. Her shoulders are straight and tall. Am I missing something? Why is she pretending not to understand? There is nothing to be gained from defiance. Has she lost her mind? The two continue to argue. Except Magda isn’t arguing. She is only repeating, flatly, calmly, that she doesn’t understand, she doesn’t understand. The guard loses control. She smacks Magda’s face with the butt of her gun. She beats her again across the shoulders. She hits and hits until Magda topples over and the guard gestures to me and another girl to drag her away with us.

Magda is bruised and coughing, but her eyes shine. “I said, ‘No’!” she says. “I said, ‘No.’” For her, it is a marvelous beating. It is proof of her power. She held her ground while the guard lost control. Magda’s civil disobedience makes her feel like the author of choice, not the victim of fate. (p. 59-60).

1. If Magda were at a Behira/Choice Point, what was the truth as she knew it and what would have been the self-deception?

2. 2. How, if ever, has this kind of a Behira/Choice Point between being a “victim of fate” and an “author of choice” presented itself in your own life?