SILENCE | SHTIKAH | שתיקה
PHRASE/SLOGAN
Be a lifeguard at the ocean of your mouth
Your mouth is holy of holies, center of renewal or destruction
Life and death are in the power of the tongue
Be as sparing with your tongue as you are with your wealth
The loud substance of silence is here-and-now
There is no better medicine for the body than silence
Use silence as preventative medicine
Silence is both default and a skill to be learned
Sustain access to wisdom through silence
A time to speak, a time to be quiet
A truthful word is better than silence yet too much truth can harm
Speak when you can be received, don't speak when you can't
SOUL TRAIT (MIDDAH) SPECTRUM
ETYMOLOGY
- root - שתק
- silent, quiet, still, calm
- paralyzed, taciturn
- guarding, watching, protecting, observing, or safekeeping the tongue
- considered, careful, or thoughtful speech
- right or mindful speech
- arranged lips / arichat sefatayim / עריכת שפתים
- speech, word, talk
- thing
- leader, guide, to drive
- to be driven, to follow behind someone's back
- place where cattle are driven, pasture
- root for midbar / wilderness or desert
- destroyed, subdued, overwhelmed
- evil tongue, negative speech
- going around, talebearing, gossip / richelut / רכילות
MUSSAR
שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר, כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה. וְלֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה. וְכָל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְבָרִים, מֵבִיא חֵטְא:
Shimon, his [Rabban Gamaliel's] son, used to say: all my days I grew up among the sages, and I have found nothing better for the body than silence. Study is not the most important thing, but actions; whoever indulges in too many words brings about sin/misalignment.
מניין שכל המוסיף גורע
From where is it derived that anyone who adds too much subtracts?
אֱמֹר מְעַט וַעֲשֵׂה הַרְבֵּה.
Speak little, but do much.
He who has knowledge keeps back his words; he whose breath is dear is a man of understanding. (trans. Dr. Mira Neshama Niculescu)
The soul needs silence as the body needs sleep. (Chp. 16: Silence)
סמא דכולה משתוקא.
The best medicine of all is silence.
סְיָג לַחָכְמָה שְׁתִיקָה.
A fence to wisdom is silence.
עוֹד צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת רַחֲמָיו פְּרוּשִׂים עַל כָּל הַנִּבְרָאִים, לֹא יְבַזֵּם וְלֹא יְאַבְּדֵם. שֶׁהֲרֵי הַחָכְמָה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה הִיא פְרוּשָׂה עַל כָּל הַנִּבְרָאִים דּוֹמֵם וְצוֹמֵחַ וְחַי וּמְדַבֵּר.
[A person's] mercies should be distributed to all the creatures, not despising them and not destroying them, for so is the highest wisdom spread to all the creatures, silent and growing and moving and speaking (mineral, vegetable, animal, human).
domem-tsomei'ach-chai-m'daber (DTsCH"M) / silent, growing, moving, speaking (i.e., mineral, vegetable, animal, human)
That we speak establishes us as human, but how we speak defines the kind of human being we happen to be. Speech is not just a power; it is a responsibility. (Chp. 3: Orderly Speech)
והכל יביא במשפט, על כל דיבור, ולא נאבד אפילו דיבור קל.
Everyone will be judged for everything they say; even the slightest expression is not overlooked.
A parable/mashal: . . . one who stands before the king voids himself completely from existence because of the awe [he feels] – for this [reason] there is no movement in him. And one who looks upon him from behind, it appears to him that there is no life in this person, but in truth there is true life there. (Yaakov Lainer, Beyt Ya'aqov 'al Sefer Vayiqra', Vayiqra', 18, in Seidenberg, 2015)
It is a commonplace in Hasidic thought that there is life and presence in everything, even stones. But Lainer goes a step further, teaching us that the stone is analogous to a person, even if “it appears that there is no life in him” – because we see the dom’mim from behind, as it were, without a face. The reason why, Lainer explains, is that “whoever is closer to God, his back is seen” by those farther away. But seeing the face of the rock from “the front” – from God’s perspective – means seeing that there is “true life there” – individuated life. (pp. 235-236)
לְךָ֤ דֻֽמִיָּ֬ה תְהִלָּ֓ה.
For You silence is praise.
Silence needs to be learned, because silence is a great skill. (Chp. 16: Silence)
Silence is a virtue, but not always, just as speech is a strength, but not always. The wisdom of Mussar comes in identifying that the trait itself has no positive or negative valence—it gets its charge from the “measure” of the trait as it lives within us. We move ourselves in the direction of wholeness by becoming masters of both ends of the spectrum, so that we are just as capable of remaining silent when silence is what is called for as we are able to speak up when speaking is the right thing to do. (Week 51, Day 1)
עֵ֥ת לַחֲשׁ֖וֹת וְעֵ֥ת לְדַבֵּֽר.
A time for silence and a time for speaking.
For there is no arrangedness on their lips; their inward part (heart) is a yawning gulf of ruin; their throat is an open grave; their tongue slippery.
337. The sage observes, My words may occasion regret, but my silence will avoid it.
If you can't control yourself from feeling angry, at least you can keep silent. Then the anger will be barren and bear no fruit (of insults, disputes, and the like). This will also quiet the feelings of anger, since silence to anger is like water to fire. (Week 51, Day 4)
He who guards his mouth and tongue guards his soul from trouble.
They rejoiced when all was quiet, and He brought them to the port they desired.
347. Be as sparing with your tongue as you are with your wealth.
349. The destroyer of a person lurks under their tongue, and death resides between their cheeks.
מָ֣וֶת וְ֭חַיִּים בְּיַד־לָשׁ֑וֹן.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
358. The sage observes, A truthful word is better than silence.
וְיִהְיֶה דּוֹמֶה לְאוֹתוֹ הַפֶּה הָעֶלְיוֹן שֶׁאֵינוֹ נִסְתָּם כְּלָל, וְלֹא יִמְנַע טוֹב תָּמִיד, וְלָכֵן צָרִיךְ שֶׁלֹּא יֶחֱשֶׁה מִלְּדַבֵּר טוֹבָה עַל הַכֹּל וּלְהוֹצִיא מִפִּיו טוֹבָה וּבְרָכָה תָמִיד.
And he [should] be similar to that Highest Mouth that never closes at all, and never prevents the good. And therefore, he must not be silent from speaking good about everything, and to always bring out goodness and blessing from this mouth.
כשם שמצוה על אדם לומר דבר הנשמע כך מצוה על אדם שלא לומר דבר שאינו נשמע רבי אבא אומר חובה שנאמר (משלי ט, ח) אל תוכח לץ פן ישנאך הוכח לחכם ויאהבך
Just as it is a mitzva for a person to say that which will be heard, so is it a mitzva for a person not to say that which will not be heard. One should not rebuke those who will be unreceptive to his message. Rabbi Abba says: It is obligatory for him to refrain from speaking, as it is stated: “Do not reprove a scorner lest he hate you; reprove a wise man and he will love you” (Proverbs 9:8).
The words we speak affect our hearts. (Chp. 3: Orderly Speech)