Women and Judaism - Based in Harlem - Session 7: Modesty/Humility/Tzniut: Hidden or Holy?

This source sheet borrows liberally from Deracheha.org and Nechama Goldman Barash.​​​​​​​

Dimitry’s Tips for Getting the Most Out of Our Time Together

• Sanctuary in Time
• Promptness, Focus, Confidentiality, Trust
• We are all someone’s rebbe (teacher) and someone’s talmid (student)
• Bring your whole, authentic self
• Dan L’Chaf Zechut
• Suspension of Disbelief / Productive Discomfort
• "Eilu v’eilu”

Disclaimer:
I’m bringing a range of different sources. Some of them will be provocative. Some of them will deeply resonate with you, while others won’t. Try to reserve judgement until the end, and remember that the Talmud in particular is not just one opinion but a collection of a broad range of (often-contradictory) opinions.
Also, please note that portions of the discussion which follows are presented from a hetero-normative lens. We will need to extrapolate, thinking creatively but also halachically, in order to apply this to same-sex attraction and LGBTQ+ individuals broadly. (i.e. Tsniut is not just for straight people - it's for people).

Warm-Up
1) When you hear the word tsniut (i.e. modesty), what do you think of? What do you imagine it means? What does it look like, sound like, or feel like?
2) Who is it for?

Essential Questions:

1) What purposes does tsniut serve? (Who/what does it protect, who/what does it honor, who/what does it prioritize, and who/what does it diminish?)
2) Is tsniut primarily an internal (spiritual / character traits) or external (physical) priority? Should it be primarily public or private (or both)? How is it expressed?
3) Are considerations of modesty absolute and fixed, or are they a function of societal norms (and as such can change and adapt over geography and time)?

What does “walking modestly [hatzne’a lechet] with God” (Micha 6:8) mean?
https://www.deracheha.org/tzeniut/
There are two main ways of thinking about tzeniut:
I. Principle-Oriented: The Talmud teaches that “walking modestly” entails performing even public mitzvot in a private manner, shying away from publicity or excess. According to this approach, tzeniut is a principle that should govern our performance of all mitzvot.
II. Physically-Oriented: Keeping some of our physicality private establishes that we are different from animals and aware that we stand before God. Sefer Mitzvot Katan ("Smak", #57), for example, lists a specific mitzva to be tzanua.
Combining the approaches, tzeniut is a principle with special relevance to a range of halachot [Jewish laws], and entails following a number of halachic obligations.
What do these conceptions of tzeniut have in common?
Both conceptions require us to draw appropriate boundaries around our self-exposure in order to enhance the sanctity of our lives, as an expression of self-respect, respect for others, and concern for God.
Do standards change?
Elements of tzeniut that are independent of social conditions are absolute. But some aspects of tzeniut that relate to our interactions with others and our place in society may change along with society.
Is tzeniut for women different than for men?
Though tzeniut is important for everyone, many traditional Jewish texts place a greater emphasis on women’s tzeniut than on men’s. Unique concerns about women’s physicality and sexuality feed into concerns about women taking on public roles.

Deracheha
What difference does it make if we treat tzeniut as a mitzva or as a general religious principle? If we focus on the physical or conceptual? Either way, shouldn’t tzeniut pervade our actions?
Private modesty standards are not fully identical to those in public. Still, our every act must be informed by a humble awareness of the Divine presence, and reflect that we are first and foremost servants of God.⁹
While tzeniut would be significant in either case, a more physical, mitzva-oriented approach to tzeniut tends to be more technical or action-oriented, and might lead us to lose sight of its conceptual meaning.
On the other hand, many people struggle to take halachic principles as seriously as formal, clearly-defined mitzvot. By counting tzeniut as its own mitzva, Semak indicates that no matter how wide-reaching the concept of tzeniut is, it is not only an ideal. Tzanua behavior can be fully obligatory.
Rabbanit Michal Tikochinsky explains that tzeniut is both principle and mitzva, and for that reason too pervasive to be confined to any one legal category.¹⁰

Rav Norman Lamm, 'Tzeniut: A Universal Concept,' Seventy Faces, 193-5
(1927-2020, New York, Modern Orthodox rabbi and former president of Yeshiva University)
Concealment is both cause and effect of kavod. One who possesses kavod, a sense of dignity, will deal with it in a manner compatible with tzeniut. Modesty will characterize his conduct and personality as a reflection of that inner sense of worth….A person who has self-respect has no need to wear his virtues like a badge and show them off to the world….Tzeniut implies kavod both with regard to oneself and to others…Tzeniut means respect for the inviolability of the personal privacy of the individual, whether oneself or another, which is another way of saying that tzeniut is a respect for the integrity of one’s ego, of one’s essential self.

Tamar Biala, 'To Teach Tsni'ut with Tsni'ut,' Meorot 7:2, 2009, p. 13
Sexual tsniut is equally binding on men and women. Every person must take responsibility for his or her sexuality and not take advantage of or deprecate the sexuality of another person. Women must take care to avoid exploiting the sexuality of men, and men must take care to avoid exploiting the sexuality of women…

Directions: In chevruta, please read the source below, which provides a historical/theological explanation as well as a modern interpretation of tsniut. Use the essential questions as a means to reflect on and react to this source.

Excerpted from Rabbi Marc Angel: Rethinking Tseniut
(1945 - Present, Rabbi Emeritus of Spanish and Portugeuse Synagogue in NYC)
The Philosophy of Tseniut
The Talmud and later rabbinic literature provide additional material relating to sexual conduct in general, and tseniut (modesty) in particular. An aim of tseniut is to diminish the possibility of improper sexual temptations that could lead to sinful behavior. The human sexual drive is quite powerful, and the tseniut laws are intended to keep that drive under control.
Tseniut, though, is not simply a system of prevention from sin. Rather, it encompasses a positive philosophy relating to the nature of human beings. While acknowledging the power of human sexuality, tseniut teaches that human beings are more than mere sexual beings.
In his famous book, I and Thou, the philosopher Martin Buber pointed out that ideal human relationships involve mutual knowledge and respect, where people treat themselves and others as valuable persons—not as things. Tseniut, in fact, seeks to foster the highest form of I-Thou relationship. By insisting on modest dress and behavior, the laws of tseniut promote a framework for human relationships that transcends the physical/sexual aspects….
The Technicalities of Tseniut
It is important for us to understand the underlying assumptions of the ancient and medieval halakhic sources. The early rabbinic opinions on the topic of tseniut emerged from a context where women—Jewish and non-Jewish—were deemed to be subservient to men. The operative principle was that the honor of a princess, i.e. a dignified woman, is for her to remain in private. Women were to stay home to the extent possible. When they appeared in public, they were to be dressed in such a way as not to attract the attention of men. Women generally were not given the same educational opportunities as men, nor were they encouraged or generally allowed to participate in public life or to have authority over men. Women’s role was to care for the household, have children, and maintain piety and modesty.
Classic rabbinic literature assumes that women are primarily a source of sexual temptation to men, and that women should therefore dress and conduct themselves so as not to arouse men’s passions. Discussions of the laws of tseniut often tend to focus on specific details of what constitutes modest and immodest dress and behavior. Rabbi Yehuda Henkin, in his book Understanding Tzniut, cites talmudic and later rabbinic sources dealing with such issues as what parts of a woman’s body constitute nakedness; how much of a woman’s body needs to be covered; the ervah (nakedness) of a woman’s leg, voice, and hair. He also discusses sociological conditions that may impact on the boundaries of modesty.
The discussion in Berakhot 24a is reflective of the prevailing talmudic attitude:
Rabbi Yitzhak said: An [uncovered] tefah (hand’s breadth) in a woman is nakedness (ervah)….Did not Rabbi Shesheth say that anyone [i.e. any man] who gazes even at a woman’s little finger is as though he gazes at her private parts?... Rabbi Hisda said a woman’s leg (shok) is ervah… Shemuel said that a woman’s voice is ervah…. Rabbi Shesheth said a woman’s hair is ervah.
This passage, and others of the same tenor, operate with the following tacit assumption. Because women’s body, hair, and voice are so alluring to men, women are to cover themselves up to the extent possible, and are not to use their voices in a way that might arouse men. Halakhic literature contains various opinions as to how to apply the tseniut rulings—but by and large, the general assumptions outlined above are taken for granted.
Yet, let us delve a bit more carefully into these assumptions.
1. Women today are no longer relegated to the home, but are involved in all aspects of society. Women interact regularly, and in many contexts, with men; women often hold positions of responsibility, including having authority over men. Few today would agree with the notion that the honor of a woman is to remain in the privacy of her home. Few today would agree that women are or must be subservient to men.
2. If we are concerned lest men be erotically aroused by women’s body, hair, and voice, shouldn’t we also be concerned lest women be erotically aroused by men’s body, hair, and voice? Although halakhic sources spell out in detail the various restrictions on the manner of women’s dress and behavior, there is very little relating to men’s dress and behavior. The assumption is that men are far more passionate and uncontrollable than women. Whether or not this assumption is correct, it is surely not correct to assume that women lack strong sexual feelings for men. They are subject to erotic arousal by men’s manner of dress and behavior. Thus, all discussions of tseniut should deal with both sides of the equation, not just with women’s mode of dress and behavior.
3. If the rules of tseniut are to protect men from falling into sexual sin, why are most of the restrictions placed on women? The rules could have been formulated in an entirely different way. Since men are so passionate and women are so arousing, then men should cover their eyes in the presence of women and should avoid public places where women might be seen. If men have the problem, why should women be forced to pay the price for men’s weaknesses? Let the women conduct themselves as they wish, and let men guard themselves from falling prey to temptation!
The Philosophy of Tseniut and Its Technicalities
The philosophy of tseniut teaches self-respect, respect for others, and the importance of not treating oneself or others as objects. The goal of tseniut is to maintain human dignity, and to foster respectful and meaningful human relationships.
The technicalities of tseniut should aim at fulfilling the ideals of the philosophy of tseniut. In popular discussions of the subject, though, there often is a serious disconnect between philosophy and technicalities…..
We need to return to the underlying philosophy of tseniut: the expectation that we be holy, that we live dignified lives, that we not present ourselves as sexual objects. How these aims are actually fulfilled very much depends on the societal conditions in which we live. In ancient and medieval times, when women lived highly restricted lives, the rules of tseniut were applied accordingly. In our times, when women function openly and freely in society, the rules of tseniut also must be applied with this reality in mind.

The following are some proposed applications of the rules of tseniut in our modern societies:
1. Neither men nor women should dress, speak, or act in a licentious manner that will arouse the sexual attention of others. It is a violation of tseniut to wear skimpy, overly tight, or other clothing that is designed to highlight one’s sexuality.
2. It is proper for men and women to dress nicely, neatly, and modestly. It is fine to dress fashionably, as long as those fashions do not violate the philosophy of tseniut.
3. In our society, it is normal for upstanding and proper women to wear pants/pants suits; short sleeved dresses/blouses; clothes with colorful designs. Wearing these things is not a violation of tseniut, as long as these items are not fashioned in such a way as to highlight one’s sexuality.
4. Married women need not cover their hair, as long as their hair is maintained in a modest style. The wearing of wigs does not constitute a proper hair-covering for those married women who wish to cover their hair. Rather, such women should wear hats or other head coverings that actually cover their hair.
5. Men and women may sing in the presence of those of the other gender, as long as the songs are of a religious nature, or of a general cultural nature (e.g. opera, folk songs, lullabies). People should neither sing nor listen to songs that have vulgar language or erotic content that will lead to improper thoughts or behavior.
6. If a person dresses, speaks, and acts in a proper, dignified manner, it is not his/her responsibility if others are sexually aroused by him/her. That is their problem. It is their responsibility to control their thoughts and emotions, and/or to remove themselves from situations that they find to be sexually provocative.
7. Normal interactions between men and women are a feature of our societies. Women may serve in positions of authority over men, just as men may serve in positions of authority over women. The key point is this: holiness and tseniut should characterize all contexts where men and women mingle and work together. Co-ed youth groups and schools are permitted, but must be maintained with high standards of tseniut.
Conclusion
Rabbi Avraham Shammah, who teaches at the Herzog Teachers’ College in Israel, stated: “Women and men should behave in a manner that reflects great respect for one another; they should not consider one another in a crude manner such as sexual objects; they should not dress provocatively, nor should their body language be provocative….” This is a fine formulation of the guidelines of tseniut.
It makes little sense to pretend that our living conditions today are identical to those of antiquity and the middle ages. Women’s roles in society have changed radically. The interrelationships of men and women today are far more common and far more frequent than in former times. Fashions have changed dramatically. Definitions of brazenness and immodesty are far different today than they were in olden days. Recognizing these changes is essential to formulating a proper application of tseniut rules….
Our goal as thinking halakhic Jews is to be clear on our responsibility to be holy, and to treat ourselves and others as fellow human beings—not as sexual objects. When we live as tseniut human beings, we enhance our own dignity and the dignity we show to others. This is not an inconsiderable accomplishment.