Purim and its Gifts #1 - Mishloach Manot

The purpose of this sheet is to elicit the awareness of the importance of Mishloach Manot as a way of transforming society - the society of the ones who have means, we will talk about the details of Matanot Laevyionim in another occasion - and of our small society, our community.

אסתר ט׳:כ״ו-ל״א

(כו) עַל־כֵּ֡ן קָֽרְאוּ֩ לַיָּמִ֨ים הָאֵ֤לֶּה פוּרִים֙ עַל־שֵׁ֣ם הַפּ֔וּר עַל־כֵּ֕ן עַל־כָּל־דִּבְרֵ֖י הָאִגֶּ֣רֶת הַזֹּ֑את וּמָֽה־רָא֣וּ עַל־כָּ֔כָה וּמָ֥ה הִגִּ֖יעַ אֲלֵיהֶֽם׃ (כז) קִיְּמ֣וּ וקבל [וְקִבְּל֣וּ] הַיְּהוּדִים֩ ׀ עֲלֵיהֶ֨ם ׀ וְעַל־זַרְעָ֜ם וְעַ֨ל כָּל־הַנִּלְוִ֤ים עֲלֵיהֶם֙ וְלֹ֣א יַעֲב֔וֹר לִהְי֣וֹת עֹשִׂ֗ים אֵ֣ת שְׁנֵ֤י הַיָּמִים֙ הָאֵ֔לֶּה כִּכְתָבָ֖ם וְכִזְמַנָּ֑ם בְּכָל־שָׁנָ֖ה וְשָׁנָֽה׃ (כח) וְהַיָּמִ֣ים הָ֠אֵלֶּה נִזְכָּרִ֨ים וְנַעֲשִׂ֜ים בְּכָל־דּ֣וֹר וָד֗וֹר מִשְׁפָּחָה֙ וּמִשְׁפָּחָ֔ה מְדִינָ֥ה וּמְדִינָ֖ה וְעִ֣יר וָעִ֑יר וִימֵ֞י הַפּוּרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה לֹ֤א יַֽעַבְרוּ֙ מִתּ֣וֹךְ הַיְּהוּדִ֔ים וְזִכְרָ֖ם לֹא־יָס֥וּף מִזַּרְעָֽם׃ (ס) (כט) וַ֠תִּכְתֹּב אֶסְתֵּ֨ר הַמַּלְכָּ֧ה בַת־אֲבִיחַ֛יִל וּמָרְדֳּכַ֥י הַיְּהוּדִ֖י אֶת־כָּל־תֹּ֑קֶף לְקַיֵּ֗ם אֵ֣ת אִגֶּ֧רֶת הַפּוּרִ֛ים הַזֹּ֖את הַשֵּׁנִֽית׃ (ל) וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח סְפָרִ֜ים אֶל־כָּל־הַיְּהוּדִ֗ים אֶל־שֶׁ֨בַע וְעֶשְׂרִ֤ים וּמֵאָה֙ מְדִינָ֔ה מַלְכ֖וּת אֲחַשְׁוֵר֑וֹשׁ דִּבְרֵ֥י שָׁל֖וֹם וֶאֱמֶֽת׃ (לא) לְקַיֵּ֡ם אֵת־יְמֵי֩ הַפֻּרִ֨ים הָאֵ֜לֶּה בִּזְמַנֵּיהֶ֗ם כַּאֲשֶׁר֩ קִיַּ֨ם עֲלֵיהֶ֜ם מָרְדֳּכַ֤י הַיְּהוּדִי֙ וְאֶסְתֵּ֣ר הַמַּלְכָּ֔ה וְכַאֲשֶׁ֛ר קִיְּמ֥וּ עַל־נַפְשָׁ֖ם וְעַל־זַרְעָ֑ם דִּבְרֵ֥י הַצֹּמ֖וֹת וְזַעֲקָתָֽם׃

Esther 9:26-31

(26) Wherefore they called these days Purim, after the name of pur (chance, lottery). Therefore because of all the words of this letter, and of that which they had seen concerning this matter, and that which had come unto them, (27) the Jews ordained, and took upon them, and upon their seed, and upon all such as joined themselves unto them, so as it should not fail, that they would keep these two days according to the writing thereof, and according to the appointed time thereof, every year; (28) and that these days should be remembered and kept throughout every generation, every family, every province, and every city; and that these days of Purim should not fail from among the Jews, nor the memorial of them perish from their seed. (29) Then Esther the queen, the daughter of Avichail, and Mordecai the Jew, wrote down all the acts of power, to confirm this second letter of Purim. (30) And he sent letters unto all the Jews, to the hundred twenty and seven provinces of the kingdom of Ahasuerus, with words of peace and truth, (31) to confirm these days of Purim in their appointed times, according as Mordecai the Jew and Esther the queen had enjoined them, and as they had ordained for themselves and for their seed, the matters of the fastings and their cry.

אסתר ט׳:כ׳-כ״ב

(כ) וַיִּכְתֹּ֣ב מָרְדֳּכַ֔י אֶת־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח סְפָרִ֜ים אֶל־כָּל־הַיְּהוּדִ֗ים אֲשֶׁר֙ בְּכָל־מְדִינוֹת֙ הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵר֔וֹשׁ הַקְּרוֹבִ֖ים וְהָרְחוֹקִֽים׃ (כא) לְקַיֵּם֮ עֲלֵיהֶם֒ לִהְי֣וֹת עֹשִׂ֗ים אֵ֠ת י֣וֹם אַרְבָּעָ֤ה עָשָׂר֙ לְחֹ֣דֶשׁ אֲדָ֔ר וְאֵ֛ת יוֹם־חֲמִשָּׁ֥ה עָשָׂ֖ר בּ֑וֹ בְּכָל־שָׁנָ֖ה וְשָׁנָֽה׃ (כב) כַּיָּמִ֗ים אֲשֶׁר־נָ֨חוּ בָהֶ֤ם הַיְּהוּדִים֙ מֵא֣וֹיְבֵיהֶ֔ם וְהַחֹ֗דֶשׁ אֲשֶׁר֩ נֶהְפַּ֨ךְ לָהֶ֤ם מִיָּגוֹן֙ לְשִׂמְחָ֔ה וּמֵאֵ֖בֶל לְי֣וֹם ט֑וֹב לַעֲשׂ֣וֹת אוֹתָ֗ם יְמֵי֙ מִשְׁתֶּ֣ה וְשִׂמְחָ֔ה וּמִשְׁל֤וֹחַ מָנוֹת֙ אִ֣ישׁ לְרֵעֵ֔הוּ וּמַתָּנ֖וֹת לָֽאֶבְיוֹנִֽים׃

Esther 9:20-22

(20) And Mordecai wrote these things, and sent letters unto all the Jews that were in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus, both nigh and far, (21) to enjoin them that they should keep the fourteenth day of the month Adar, and the fifteenth day of the same, yearly, (22) the days wherein the Jews had rest from their enemies, and the month which was turned unto them from sorrow to gladness, and from mourning into a good day; that they should make them days of feasting and gladness, and of sending portions one to another, and gifts to the needy.

1. What are the actions, according to those two pieces of the ninth chapter of the Megilah, that one needs to do to actually remember Purim?
2. Why food?
> What kind of a gift is food? Unlike other presents, food disappears once consumed. Yet a gift of food — hamantaschen, candy, cakes, fruits, nuts and other treats which are common for mishloach manot — sends three messages: "You are my friend" and “I don’t want you to be hungry” and “I want you to really enjoy life.” If we read all the story of Purim, it is pretty grim - and not only should we be happy that we’re indeed still alive enough to eat — we should revel in it, and we should make others revel in it.

משנה תורה, הלכות מגילה וחנוכה ב׳:ט״ו

(טו) כיצד חובת סעודה זו שיאכל בשר ויתקן סעודה נאה כפי אשר תמצא ידו. ושותה יין עד שישתכר וירדם בשכרותו. וכן חייב אדם לשלוח שתי מנות בשר או שני מיני תבשיל או שני מיני אוכלין לחבירו שנאמר ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו שתי מנות לאיש אחד. וכל המרבה לשלוח לריעים משובח. ואם אין לו מחליף עם חברו זה שולח לזה סעודתו וזה שולח לזה סעודתו כדי לקיים ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו.

Mishneh Torah, Scroll of Esther and Hanukkah 2:15

(15) What is the nature of our obligation for this feast? A person should eat meat and prepare as attractive a feast as his means permit. He should drink wine until he becomes intoxicated and falls asleep in his intoxication. And similarly a a person is obligated to send two portions of meat or two types of cooked food or two types of food to his friend, as it says (Esther 9:22) "and send portions one man to another" two portions to one man. And all that increase to send to others is praiseworthy. And if he has no [money] he should exchange with his friend: this one sends to this his meal and this one sends to this his meal in order to fulfill (Esther 9:22) "and send portions one man to another".

אורח חיים תרצ״ה:ד׳

(ד) חייב לשלוח לחבירו שתי מנות בשר או של מיני אוכלים שנאמר ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו שתי מנות לאיש אחד וכל המרבה לשלוח לריעים משובח ואם אין לו מחליף עם חבירו זה שולח לזה סעודתו וזה שולח לזה סעודתו כדי לקיים ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו: הגה: ויש לשלוח מנות ביום ולא בלילה (מדברי הרא"ש פ"ק דמגילה) ואם שולח מנות לרעהו והוא אינו רוצה לקבלם או מוחל לו יצא ואשה חייבת במתנות לאביונים ומשלוח מנות כאיש. ואשה תשלח לאשה ואיש לאיש. אבל לא בהפך שלא יבא איש לשלוח לאלמנה ויבואו לידי ספק קידושין אבל במתנות לאביונים אין לחוש:

Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayyim 695:4

(4) One must send to his fellow two portions of meat, or foodstuffs, as it says (Esther 9:19) "And send portions, man to his fellow." Two portions to one man [is the obligation]. And anyone who send more to his fellows is praiseworthy. If he has none, he can trade with his fellow, this one sending to that one his meal, and this one sending to that one his meal, so that they can fulfill "And send portions, man to his fellow." Rama: And some send the portions during the day and not at night (from the Rosh, first chapter of [Bavli] Megilla). And if one sends portions to his fellow, but he doesn't want to accept them, or he forgives him [his obligation], he fulfills [his obligation nonetheless]. And a woman is obligated in [sending] portions to the destitute and sending portions [to one's fellows] like a man is....

One of the questions is why - why do you think Mordechai and Esther decided to make mishloach manot a mitzvah, a commandment? What is in this that counteracts the ways of Haman?

אסתר ג׳:ח׳

(ח) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר הָמָן֙ לַמֶּ֣לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵר֔וֹשׁ יֶשְׁנ֣וֹ עַם־אֶחָ֗ד מְפֻזָּ֤ר וּמְפֹרָד֙ בֵּ֣ין הָֽעַמִּ֔ים בְּכֹ֖ל מְדִינ֣וֹת מַלְכוּתֶ֑ךָ וְדָתֵיהֶ֞ם שֹׁנ֣וֹת מִכָּל־עָ֗ם וְאֶת־דָּתֵ֤י הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ אֵינָ֣ם עֹשִׂ֔ים וְלַמֶּ֥לֶךְ אֵין־שֹׁוֶ֖ה לְהַנִּיחָֽם׃

Esther 3:8

(8) And Haman said unto king Ahasuerus: ‘There is a certain people scattered and dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom; and their laws are different from those of every people; neither keep they the king’s laws; to tolerate them brings no advantage to the king.

The idea is that Haman was exploiting something about us: our state of disunion. We were scattered and dispersed, not united. And the gifts to one another are supposed to transform this state of affairs - as are the gifts to the poor, which we will talk about later.

משלי י״ט:ו׳

(ו) רַ֭בִּים יְחַלּ֣וּ פְנֵֽי־נָדִ֑יב וְכָל־הָ֝רֵ֗עַ לְאִ֣ישׁ מַתָּֽן׃

Proverbs 19:6

(6) The great will beg the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.

The ways of Achashverosh of dealing with power are thoughtless and demeaning of others, the ways of Haman are evil. Mordechai rises up and creates a better society. At the start of the story we see a king who throws a six month party for his cronies; a king who has harem full of women; a king who acts without a thought about morality or God, the instability and general chaos give opportunity to Haman to try to seize power - but when Mordechai gains power he creates a society of matanot le-evyonim (gifts to the poor); a society of mishloach manot (sending presents to our neighbors) - this is a society of shalom ve-emet. In another moment we will talk about Matanot Laevioynim, but for the moment I want us to keep in mind this last Rambam.

משנה תורה, הלכות מגילה וחנוכה ב׳:י״ז

(יז) מוטב לאדם להרבות במתנות אביונים מלהרבות בסעודתו ובשלוח מנות לרעיו. שאין שם שמחה גדולה ומפוארה אלא לשמח לב עניים ויתומים ואלמנות וגרים. שהמשמח לב האמללים האלו דומה לשכינה שנאמר להחיות רוח שפלים ולהחיות לב נדכאים.

Mishneh Torah, Scroll of Esther and Hanukkah 2:17

(17) It is good for people to increase in their gifts to the poor more than they increase in their meal and the gifts that they send to their companions, for there is no greater or glorious joy than to bring happiness to the hearts of the poor and orphans and widows and strangers, for he who brings happiness to the hearts of these unfortunate people is compared to the Divine Presence, as it says, "To revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones" (Isaiah 57:15).

In our own community, I am sure you can find people you don't know, those in the fringes. We do have orphans, widows and people who feel estranged from the community even if nominally they are in the community, their names on our books. Sending Mishloach manot is also a way of extending our love, our companionship to them. It gives one the clear message that they are not alone. Loneliness, if you all remember from Bereshit, is the only thing that in the Creation story is labeled "not good". It is our hands to make people feel less alone.