Rabbi M. Shuchatowitz- The Living Marriage -Piyus

אמר רבי יוחנן אילמלא לא ניתנה תורה היינו למידין צניעות מחתול וגזל מנמלה ועריות מיונה דרך ארץ מתרנגול שמפייס ואחר כך בועל

Eruvin 100b:29

Similarly, Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Even if the Torah had not been given, we would nonetheless have learned modesty from the cat, which covers its excrement, and that stealing is objectionable from the ant, which does not take grain from another ant, and forbidden relations from the dove, which is faithful to its partner, and proper relations from the rooster, which first appeases the hen and then mates with it.

בראשית ב׳:כ״ג-כ״ה

(כג) וַיֹּאמֶר֮ הָֽאָדָם֒ זֹ֣את הַפַּ֗עַם עֶ֚צֶם מֵֽעֲצָמַ֔י וּבָשָׂ֖ר מִבְּשָׂרִ֑י לְזֹאת֙ יִקָּרֵ֣א אִשָּׁ֔ה כִּ֥י מֵאִ֖ישׁ לֻֽקֳחָה־זֹּֽאת׃ (כד) עַל־כֵּן֙ יַֽעֲזָב־אִ֔ישׁ אֶת־אָבִ֖יו וְאֶת־אִמּ֑וֹ וְדָבַ֣ק בְּאִשְׁתּ֔וֹ וְהָי֖וּ לְבָשָׂ֥ר אֶחָֽד׃ (כה) וַיִּֽהְי֤וּ שְׁנֵיהֶם֙ עֲרוּמִּ֔ים הָֽאָדָ֖ם וְאִשְׁתּ֑וֹ וְלֹ֖א יִתְבֹּשָֽׁשׁוּ׃

Genesis 2:23-25

(23) Then the man said, “This one at last Is bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called Woman, For from man was she taken.” (24) Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh. (25) The two of them were naked, the man and his wife, yet they felt no shame.

ספר הזהר, בראשית פ״ג

(ט) וְאִי תֵימָא מָאן דְּנָפִיק לְאוֹרְחָא דְּלָא אִשְׁתְּכַח דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא, שְׁכִינְתָּא אִתְפָּרְשָׁא מִנִּיהּ. תָּא חֲזֵי, הַאי מַאן דְּנָפִיק לְאָרְחָא (קסח א) יְסַדֵּר צְלוֹתָא קַמֵּי קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא. בְּגִין לְאַמְשָׁכָא עֲלֵיהּ שְׁכִינְתָּא דְּמָרֵיהּ עַד לָא יִפּוּק לְאָרְחָא בְּזִמְנָא דְּאִשְׁתְּכַח דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא. כֵּיוָן דְּסַדַּר צְלוֹתֵיהּ וְשִׁבְחֵיהּ וּשְׁכִינְתָּא שָׁרְיָיא עֲלֵיהּ יִפּוּק. דְּהָא שְׁכִינְתָּא אִזְדַּוְוגַת בַּהֲדֵיהּ. בְּגִין דְּיִשְׁתְּכַח דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא. דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא בְּמָתָא. דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא בְּחַקְלָא. הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב, (תהילים פ״ה:י״ד) צֶדֶק לְפָנָיו יְהַלֵּךְ וְיָשֵׂם לְדֶרֶךְ פְּעָמָיו.

Zohar, Bereshit 83

(9) him in any way. See, it has been said, a man ought always to cleave to his wife that the Schekina may always be with him, yet it is possible to go alone on a journey and the Schekina will still be with him. And when doing so he ought to direct his prayer to the Holy One that this may be, and in this way the male and female will always be associated in union with oneself.

ברכות ס״ב א:ג׳

רַב כָּהֲנָא עָל, גְּנָא תּוּתֵיהּ פּוּרְיֵיהּ דְּרַב. שַׁמְעֵיהּ דְּשָׂח וְשָׂחַק וְעָשָׂה צְרָכָיו. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: דָּמֵי פּוּמֵּיהּ דְּאַבָּא כִּדְלָא שָׂרֵיף תַּבְשִׁילָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: כָּהֲנָא, הָכָא אַתְּ? פּוּק, דְּלָאו אֹרַח אַרְעָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: תּוֹרָה הִיא, וְלִלְמוֹד אֲנִי צָרִיךְ.

Berakhot 62a:3

On a similar note, the Gemara relates that Rav Kahana entered and lay beneath Rav’s bed. He heard Rav chatting and laughing with his wife, and seeing to his needs, i.e., having relations with her. Rav Kahana said to Rav: The mouth of Abba, Rav, is like one whom has never eaten a cooked dish, i.e., his behavior was lustful. Rav said to him: Kahana, you are here? Leave, as this is an undesirable mode of behavior. Rav Kahana said to him: It is Torah, and I must learn.

משנה תורה, הלכות דעות ב׳:ד׳

(ד) לְעוֹלָם יַרְבֶּה אָדָם בִּשְׁתִיקָה וְלֹא יְדַבֵּר אֶלָּא אוֹ בִּדְבַר חָכְמָה אוֹ בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לָהֶם לְחַיֵּי גּוּפוֹ. אָמְרוּ עַל רַב תַּלְמִיד רַבֵּנוּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ שֶׁלֹּא שָׂח שִׂיחָה בְּטֵלָה כָּל יָמָיו. וְזוֹ הִיא שִׂיחַת רֹב כָּל אָדָם. וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּצָרְכֵי הַגּוּף לֹא יַרְבֶּה אָדָם דְּבָרִים. וְעַל זֶה צִוּוּ חֲכָמִים וְאָמְרוּ כָּל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְּבָרִים מֵבִיא חֵטְא. וְאָמְרוּ (משנה אבות א יז) "לֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה". וְכֵן בְּדִבְרֵי תּוֹרָה וּבְדִבְרֵי חָכְמָה יִהְיוּ דִּבְרֵי הָאָדָם מְעַטִּים וְעִנְיְנֵיהֶם מְרֻבִּים. וְהוּא שֶׁצִּוּוּ חֲכָמִים וְאָמְרוּ (גמרא פסחים ג ב) "לְעוֹלָם יִשְׁנֶה אָדָם לְתַלְמִידָיו דֶּרֶךְ קְצָרָה". אֲבָל אִם הָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים מְרֻבִּין וְהָעִנְיָן מֻעָט הֲרֵי זוֹ סִכְלוּת וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר (קהלת ה ב) "כִּי בָּא הַחֲלוֹם בְּרֹב עִנְיָן וְקוֹל כְּסִיל בְּרֹב דְּבָרִים":

Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 2:4

(4) Ever let man multiply silence, and not speak aught else save in a matter of wisdom or of things which he needs for the sustenance of life in his body. Of Rab, the disciple of our Holy Master, it was said, that he never in his life uttered idle talk⁴ Caro contradicts the text here, saying: “I found in Sukkah, 28, that this distinction was attributed to Rabbi Johanan, but about Rab I DO not now know where to locate such statement.” The text is correct, as Maimonides only quotes references which are laws of conduct and not sermons. See Yoma, 19b about the name Kaputal and Kabutal. G.. Verily, such is the talk of a majority of the people, whereas, even of the necessities of the body man should not multiply words. Concerning this the sages admonished, saying: "Whosoever propogates words generates sin" (Pir. Ab. 1.17). And they, moreover, said: "I found nothing better for the body than silence" (Ibid). Likewise in words of Torah and in words of wisdom shall man's words be few but the thought therein sagacious, which is what the sages charged saying: "Ever let the master instruct his disciples concisely" (Hullin. 63b). But if the words be many and their meaning insignificant it is but stupidity, concerning which it was said: "For a dream cometh through a multitude of matter, and the voice of a fool cometh with a multitude of words" (Ecc. 5.3).

נדה ל״א ב:ט״ו-ט״ז

ומפני מה האיש מקבל פיוס ואין אשה מקבלת פיוס זה ממקום שנברא וזו ממקום שנבראת מפני מה אשה קולה ערב ואין איש קולו ערב זה ממקום שנברא וזו ממקום שנבראת שנאמר {שיר השירים ב } כי קולך ערב ומראך נאוה

Niddah 31b:15-16

And the students also inquired: For what reason is a man who is angry likely to accept appeasement, but a woman is not as likely to accept appeasement? Rabbi Dostai answered them: It is because this man behaves like the place from which he was created, i.e., the earth, which yields to pressure, and that woman behaves like the place from which she was created, i.e., from bone, which cannot be molded easily. The students continued to ask Rabbi Dostai: For what reason is a woman’s voice pleasant, but a man’s voice is not pleasant? He answered: This man is similar to the place from which he was created, the earth, which does not issue a sound when it is struck, and that woman is similar to the place from which she was created, a bone, which makes a sound when it is struck. The proof that a woman’s voice is pleasant is that it is stated in Song of Songs that the man says to his beloved: “For sweet is your voice, and your countenance is beautiful” (Song of Songs 2:14).

משלי י״ט:ב׳

(ב) גַּ֤ם בְּלֹא־דַ֣עַת נֶ֣פֶשׁ לֹא־ט֑וֹב וְאָ֖ץ בְּרַגְלַ֣יִם חוֹטֵֽא׃

Proverbs 19:2

(2) A person without knowledge is surely not good; He who moves hurriedly blunders.

עירובין ק׳ ב:י״ד-י״ז

ואמר רמי בר חמא אמר רב אסי אסור לאדם שיכוף אשתו לדבר מצוה שנאמר ואץ ברגלים חוטא ואמר רבי יהושע בן לוי כל הכופה אשתו לדבר מצוה הויין לו בנים שאינן מהוגנין אמר רב איקא בר חיננא מאי קראה גם בלא דעת נפש לא טוב תניא נמי הכי גם בלא דעת נפש לא טוב זה הכופה אשתו לדבר מצוה ואץ ברגלים חוטא זה הבועל ושונה איני והאמר רבא הרוצה לעשות כל בניו זכרים יבעול וישנה לא קשיא כאן לדעת כאן שלא לדעת:

Eruvin 100b:14-17

The Gemara cites another halakha derived from the verse mentioned in the previous discussion. Rami bar Ḥama said that Rav Asi said: It is prohibited for a man to force his wife in the conjugal mitzva, i.e., sexual relations, as it is stated: “And he who hastens with his feet sins” (Proverbs 19:2). The term his feet is understood here as a euphemism for intercourse. And Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: Anyone who forces his wife to perform the conjugal mitzva will have unworthy children as a consequence. Rav Ika bar Ḥinnana said: What is the verse that alludes to this? “Also, that the soul without knowledge is not good” (Proverbs 19:2). If intercourse takes place without the woman’s knowledge, i.e., consent, the soul of the offspring will not be good. That was also taught in a baraita: “Also, without knowledge the soul is not good”; this is one who forces his wife to perform the conjugal mitzva. “And he who hastens with his feet sins”; this is one who has intercourse with his wife and repeats the act in a manner that causes her pain or distress. The Gemara is surprised by this teaching: Is that so? But didn’t Rava say: One who wants all his children to be males should have intercourse with his wife and repeat the act? The Gemara answers: This is not difficult: Here, where Rava issued this advice, he was referring to a husband who acts with his wife’s consent. There, the baraita that condemns this behavior is referring to one who proceeds without her consent.

פסחים מ״ט ב:ח׳

תניא היה רבי מאיר אומר כל המשיא בתו לעם הארץ כאילו כופתה ומניחה לפני ארי מה ארי דורס ואוכל ואין לו בושת פנים אף עם הארץ מכה ובועל ואין לו בושת פנים:

Pesachim 49b:8

It was taught in a baraita that Rabbi Meir would say: Anyone who marries off his daughter to an ignoramus is considered as though he binds her and places her before a lion. Why is this so? Just as a lion mauls its prey and eats and has no shame, so too, an ignoramus strikes his wife and then engages in sexual relations with her without appeasing her first, and has no shame.

שבת ק״מ ב:י״ח

נָקֵיט מַרְגָּנִיתָא בַּחֲדָא יְדֵיהּ וְכוּרָא בַּחֲדָא יְדֵיהּ. מַרְגָּנִיתָא — אַחְוִי לְהוּ, וְכוּרָא — לָא אַחְוִי לְהוּ עַד דְּמִיצְטַעֲרָן, וַהֲדַר אַחְוִי לְהוּ.

Shabbat 140b:18

In order to demonstrate the value of modesty to his daughters, Rav Ḥisda held a pearl in one hand and a clod of earth in the other. The pearl he showed them immediately, and the clod of earth, he did not show them until they were upset due to their curiosity, and then he showed it to them. This taught them that a concealed object is more attractive than one on display, even if it is less valuable.

אורח חיים ר״פ

(א) תשמיש המטה בשבת. ובו ב סעיפים:
תשמיש המטה מתענוגי שבת הוא לפיכך עונת תלמידי חכמים הבריאים מליל שבת לליל שבת:

(ב) מותר לבעול לכתחלה בתולה בשבת ואין בו משום חובל ולא משום צער לה:

Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayim 280

(1) 1. The Laws Pertaining to Marital Intimacy on Shabbat, 2 Seifim: Marital intimacy is one of the expressions of Shabbos pleasure. Accordingly, [our Sages] determined that healthy Torah scholars, who are obligated to fulfill their conjugal duties once a week, should do so each Friday night.

(2) 2. It is permitted to engage in marital intimacy with a virgin for the first time on Shabbos. There is no prohibition because of causing pain or damage on Shabbos as a result of her initial intimate experience.