Journey Into the New Year

Welcome to the season of teshuvah - the season of returning, and turning, the season of seeking forgiveness, the season of opening ourselves up to the world and ourselves, true selves, unadorned, directly from the heart and heartfelt, thoughtful and searching, seeking and striving knowing we will not always find, hoping against despair, and bringing our despair to the Source of All Creation.

Master of Forgiveness, Searcher of hearts,
The One Who Reveals Deep Secrets, and speaks with justice
The One Who is Adorned with Wonders, and Ancient in offering comfort,
The One Who remembers the covenant with our ancestors, and Studies us from inside-out
We have sinned before you, have compassion on us!

We're now coming up on Rosh Hashanah - a Rosh Chodesh, a new moon, matching up to the spirit of Pesach, the beginning of a new year, new stage of life, both for us personally and for the Jewish people. The beginning of the Tishrey cycle: RH - new moon, creation, transition; YK - moon approaching full, evolution/personal growth - reflecting Shavuot, maturity/giving of Torah; Sukkot - full moon, the sun cycle and moon/Tishray cycle meet here, completion of the season of teshuvah/completion of the agricultural year, fulfillment; Shmini Atzeret - start of the new cycle, rain, new seeds planted, new plans/hopes for the year ahead.

A student of Rebbe Mordecai of Nadvorna (far West Ukraine, south of Lwow) came to the Rebbe asking to be dismissed just before Rosh Hashanah.
The Rebbe asked him, "Why are you hurrying?"
"I am a hazzan, and I must look into the festival prayer book, and put my prayers in order."
The Rebbe responded to him, "The prayer book is the same as it was last year. But it would better for you to look into your deeds, and put yourself in order."
Likutei Mahariah, in Agnon Days of Awe, p. 38

Teshuvah can be a natural activity, as natural as breathing. It's the focus of our spiritual lives now, but teshuvah is always available to us throughout the year. We focus on it now because our tradition tells us God is especially present as the year turns.
Let's internalize the wisdom of great teachers of the past, more than focusing on teshuvah - forgiveness, repentance, and self-improvement - between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, let's strive to focus on teshuvah between Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah.

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things. - Mary Oliver

The work of teshuvah, while we celebrate the holiday as a community, is profoundly personal, turning what is inside to the outside, asking us to put our self, our life, before the universe.

Another Mary Oliver...

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice --

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voice behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

Elo-hai neshama she-na-tah-tah bee, te-ho-rah hee.
God, the soul you have given me is pure.

At the year's turn,
in the days between,
we step away
from what we know
into the spaces
we cannot yet name.
Slowly the edges begin to yield,
the hard places soften,
the gate to forgiveness
opens.
-Marcia Falk

Although the gates of forgiveness open, we still need to do the work of cheshbon ha'nefesh, taking an accounting of our souls.

This is not easy work, and it requires us to apply ourselves to our wrongdoings, our failures, the way we may have hurt others, and most of us prefer to avoid these difficult feelings. The beauty of this time of year is that we're all doing this together.

This work requires us to both feel that we have ultimate value and humble enough to know our smallness in the universe.

"Every year there descends and radiates a new and renewed light which has never yet shone. For the light of every year withdraws to its source in the Essence of the Ein Sof on the eve of Rosh Hashanah, 'When the moon is covered.' Afterwards, by means of sounding the shofar and the prayers, a new and superior light is elicited...a new and more sublime light that has never yet shone since the beginning of time. Its manifestation, however, depends on the actions of those below, and on their merits and penitence during the Ten days of Teshuvah."
-The Tanya, R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi (1797)

A person should carry two notes in his/her pockets. In one pocket he/she should have a note that says, "The world was created for me." In the other pocket, a note that says, "I am but dust and ashes."
-Rabbi Simcha Bunam of Peschischa

The Yamim Noraim, are a time for us both to be humble and also to celebrate and be aware of our humanity, our unique presence in the world, our unique voice, while balancing those feelings with the sense that our real mission is to create a world in which God's Presence is real.

My teachers Rabbi Marcia Prager & Rabbi Shawn Zevit help us to recognize the world is not a static place but a moving, living thing with the music of creation and creative power on display 24/7. Think of atoms, even in solids, the atoms are moving, just slowly, nothing is fixed, everything is moving, singing, dancing.

Let's become part of the dance.

VE-YE-TAYU KOL LE'OVDECHA
VEYITNU LECHA KETER MELUCHA
VI'VARCHU SHEM KEVODECHA
VEYITNU LECHA KETER MELUCHA
VEYAGIDU VA'IYIM TZIDKECHA
VEYITNU LECHA KETER MELUCHA!
They will come to You, God, all your worshippers,
And give you the Crown of Rulership!...
They will bless Your holy Name!
From the distant islands they will tell of Your righteousness!...

Tekiyat Shofar!

Wake us up!

Make us ready!

Help us to listen to ourselves and others!

Hand your burdens to God so God can help us carry them (or remove them from our shoulders)!

Forgiveness means, first, letting go of the way our sins hold onto us!

Shana Tovah!