All vows, renunciations, promises, obligations, oaths, taken from this Day of Atonement till the next, may we attain it in peace, we regret them in advance. May we be absolved of them, may we be released from them, may they be null and void and of no effect. May they not be binding upon us. Such vows shall not be considered vows; such renunciations, no renunciations; and such oaths, no oaths. (Translation adapted from the High Holyday Prayer Book, edited by Rabbi Ben Zion Bokser.)
Background:
Although the origin of Kol Nidrei is shrouded in mystery, there are theories about its origins. One popular theory connects the wording of the prayer with the religious dilemma facing medieval Spanish Jews during the Inquisition in the 15th century, during which many Jews were forced to convert to Christianity or face death. These Marranos, many of whom converted in name only and found a way to practice Judaism in privacy at home, created Kol Nidrei to nullify their vows of conversion before God. The formal and legalistic nature of the prayer lends validity to this theory. Additionally, by setting it at the beginning of the first Yom Kippur service, these Jews found a way to confront their worst sin imaginable and could then devote the rest of Yom Kippur to their other transgressions.
What does God want from us when we make mistakes?
Teshuvah. The word teshuvah means "return." It is often mistranslated as "repentance." When we are asked by God to do teshuvah, we are asked by God to return.
God is our Father in Heaven. He doesn't want us to be weighed down by negativity and self-loathing when we make mistakes. When we make the wrong choices in life, they should be seen as opportunities for growth, not chains and shackles to weigh us down forever.
Maimonides sets out the steps for teshuvah. When we make a mistake, we are to go through the process step-by-step. The result is forgiveness and growth.
Step 1: Stop.
Stop whatever destructive action you are engaged in. If, for example, you are losing your temper with others, stop.
Step 2: Regret.
You should indeed feel regret for your error. It's wrong to lose your temper as you are likely to hurt others in doing so. You should be sorry for the harm you caused.
Step 3: Verbalize.
Explain your regret out loud to God. This doesn't have to be done at synagogue, and it doesn't have to be in Hebrew. Talk to God in at least an audible whisper, not just in your head; of course, God knows already, but you need to hear it. Tell Him that you are sorry for whatever you did wrong.If your actions harmed other people then you have to make amends. After losing your temper, you must go to your friend and ask his forgiveness.
Step 4: Make a Plan.
How can you be sure that the mistake won't happen again? Make a practical plan of action. If you know that certain subjects are sources of conflict between you and your friend, perhaps make a pact to avoid those subjects for the sake of peace.
The completion of these steps is called teshuvah gamurah, or "complete return." It occurs when God puts you in the same position as when you originally made the mistake and you do not repeat the mistake.
Teshuvah - Fixing Mistakes
by L. Palatnik on Aish