Rebuke's Place in Judaism RHDe'ot (sources)

(17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him.

(6) If one man commit a sin against another man, the one sinned against shall not remain in silent hate against the sinner, as it is said of the wicked: "And Absalom spoke unto Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon" (Second Samuel. 13.22); but, on the contrary, it is obligatory upon him to make known to him and say unto him: "Why have you done to me thus and such, and wherefore have you sinned against me in that particular matter?"; for, it is said: "And thou shalt indeed rebuke thy neighbor" (Lev. 19.17).

And, if the sinner did repent and begged to be forgiven by him, he must forgive him; and in doing so he should not be cruel, for it is said: "And Abraham prayed unto God" (Gen. 20.17).⁶For Abimelech, who sinned against him. G.

(8) He who rebukes a friend, at the beginning, no hard words should be used against him to shame him, for it is said: "And thou shalt bear no sin upon him" (Lev. 19.17). Thus did the wise men say: "Understand it not by rebuking him thou mayest cause his countenance to change expression; for, it is said: 'And thou shalt bear no sin upon him'" (Ibid.; Arakin, 16b);

herefrom we learn that it is forbidden to put an Israelite to shame, needless to say publicly. ... Even so did the wise men say: "He who publicly puts his fellow's countenance to shame has no share in the world to come" (Pirke Abot, 3.15). A man is, therefore obliged to guard himself against putting his fellow to shame publicly, regardless of whether he be young or old; not to call him by a name of which he feels ashamed, nor tell aught in his presence of which he is ashamed. However, all these refer to matters touching the relationship between man and man; but if it concern heavenly matters, if the sinner does not repent after being rebuked privately, he should be shamed publicly, and his sin should be proclaimed, and harsh words should be used in his presence, and he should be shamed and cursed till he repent and take up the good path, even as all of the prophets in Israel did with the wicked.⁸Baba Mezi’a 59a; Yoma, 86b. C. G.

(1) Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace. (3) Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumfounded were they on account of him. (4) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt. (5) Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.

..

“Do you study Torah?” Elijah asked.

“No,” replied the fisherman, “I’m just a simple man, not endowed with any measure of talent or intelligence.”

“Tell me,” said Elijah, “how do you prepare your fishing net?”

“Well,” said the man, “It’s actually quite complicated. First I have to select the proper gauge rope, and then I weave the net in a particular pattern to ensure the proper balance of strength and flexibility.”

“How do you go about actually catching the fish?” inquired Elijah.

“Oh,” said the man, “that involves many complex factors like water depth, temperature, speed of the current, season of the year, time of day, type of fish and location. I've spent years mastering these techniques, and I’m able to earn a good living from fishing.”

“When you get to heaven,” said Elijah, “you said you plan to testify that you didn’t study Torah study because you’re just a simple man, not endowed with any talent or intelligence. But your expertise as a fisherman refutes your very own claim!”

Did you ever hear someone say he doesn’t have time to study wisdom, visit his mother, or do volunteer work? Yet what about all the hours of TV he watched?

This is toch’acha -- incontrovertible proof.

(18) Whoever causes the multitudes to be righteous, sin will not occur on his account; And whoever causes the multitudes to sin, they do not give him the ability to repent. Moses was righteous and caused the multitudes to be righteous, [therefore] the righteousness of the multitudes is hung on him, as it is said, “He executed the Lord’s righteousness and His decisions with Israel” (Deut. 33:21). Jeroboam, sinned and caused the multitudes to sin, [therefore] the sin of the multitudes is hung on him, as it is said, “For the sins of Jeroboam which he sinned, and which he caused Israel to sin thereby” (I Kings 15:30).