"You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There's this idea that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. And what I've always thought isn't that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. It's that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn't see myself reflected at all. I was like, 'Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don't exist?' And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might seem themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it."
-- Junot Díaz
(א) ויעש לה וגו׳. הפרישה מבני אדם לשבת בדודה עוסקת בעבודת ה׳, ורבותינו זכרונם לברכה אמרו (תענית ד א) שנדר להקריב עולה את כל היוצא וכו׳, וכן עשה נדרו:
(ב) והיא לא ידעה איש. רצה לומר, כאשר נדר, כן עשה, והיתה פרושה מאיש:
(1) And he did to her [as he had vowed]. She separated from human company to live alone, busy with the worship of God. And our teachers of blessed memory have said (Ta'anit 4a) that he vowed to sacrifice as a burnt offering all that came out of his house, and so he performed his vow.
(2) And she had not known a man It wishes to say, as he had vowed, so she had done, and she had separated from men.
The idea that bat Yiftach has a life of holy celibacy and of women's community, of relation to but apartness from the wider community, feels very important to me in my identity as someone who likely won't engage with the Jewish community from the structure of a sexual-biological nuclear family. The idea that space was delineated for me by Sefer Shoftim and by Rabbi David Kimchi, hundreds and hundreds of years before my birth, is incredibly validating.
The dark-and-perhaps-truer read of this text, when I take off my Find A Home glasses: Yiftach controls either his daughter's sexuality or her life. No-one can or will help her, except to wail.
תניא רבי אליעזר אומר כל מי שאין עוסק בפריה ורביה כאילו שופך דמים שנאמר (בראשית ט, ו) שופך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך וכתיב בתריה ואתם פרו ורבו רבי יעקב אומר כאילו ממעט הדמות שנאמר (בראשית ט, ו) כי בצלם אלהים עשה את האדם וכתיב בתריה ואתם פרו וגו' בן עזאי אומר כאילו שופך דמים וממעט הדמות שנאמר ואתם פרו ורבו אמרו לו לבן עזאי יש נאה דורש ונאה מקיים נאה מקיים ואין נאה דורש ואתה נאה דורש ואין נאה מקיים אמר להן בן עזאי ומה אעשה שנפשי חשקה בתורה אפשר לעולם שיתקיים על ידי אחרים
It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Eliezer says: Anyone who does not engage in the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply is considered as though he sheds blood, as it is stated: “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed” (Genesis 9:6), and it is written immediately afterward: “And you, be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 9:7). Rabbi Ya’akov says: It is as though he diminishes the Divine Image, as it is stated: “For in the image of God He made man” (Genesis 9:6), and it is written immediately afterward: “And you, be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 9:7). Ben Azzai says: It is as though he sheds blood and also diminishes the Divine Image, as it is stated: “And you, be fruitful and multiply,” after the verse that alludes to both shedding blood and the Divine Image. They said to ben Azzai: There is a type of scholar who expounds well and fulfills his own teachings well, and another who fulfills well and does not expound well. But you, who have never married, expound well on the importance of procreation, and yet you do not fulfill well your own teachings. Ben Azzai said to them: What shall I do, as my soul yearns for Torah, and I do not wish to deal with anything else. It is possible for the world to be maintained by others, who are engaged in the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply.
These rabbis' comfort in not being sexually attracted to women, even as they recognise that other men in their situation might do so, again feels very comforting (it's not a disease, it's just a fact of their experience! That they can name! To other people!). The fact that this internal experience has a nafka mina, a practical effect on halacha, feels nothing short of incredible.
The dark-and-perhaps-truer read of this text, when I take off my Find A Home glasses: This is a text about holy people not feeling lust, and it doesn't take into account any women's experiences (maybe the bride is attracted to Rav Acha and would rather he not be so close? maybe the mikvah-goers feel scared, their space invaded by Rabbi Yochanan, worried about what he could do?)
והעליתיהו עולה.
- ...הוי"ו במקום או ופירש "והיה לה' הקדש [...] או העליתיהו עולה" [...] ויפה פי'
- וכן נראה מהפסוק כי לא המיתה שאמר "ואבכה על נפשי" לאות כי לא המיתה אך "לא ידעה איש" כמו שאמר "והיא לא ידעה איש"
- ומה שאמר גם כן ויעש לה את נדרו אשר נדר ולא אמר ויעלה עולה לאות
- כי פרושה היתה וזהו את נדרו אשר נדר והיה להשם
כך נראה לפי פשטי הפסוקים ...
Shall be offered by me as an offering
- ... "Or" and "And" are indicated by the same word in Hebrew, and therefore it's possible to read the verse [instead of "whatever comes out of the door of my house [...] shall be the LORD’s and shall be offered by me as a burnt offering.”] as "shall be the LORD's or it shall be offered by me as a burnt offering" ["shall be the LORD's" just meaning that no-one else can benefit from it.]
- It seems from this that Jephthah does not kill his daughter, because the verse would say "And I will weep for my life" -- rather, [she will weep] that she has not known a man [the verse in fact says "I will weep for my maidenhood" (Judges 11:37)].
- It also says, "he did to her as he had vowed to do" (Judges 11:39) -- it does not say "He offered her as a burnt offering."
- This shows us that she was celibate/separated, and this is what he had vowed -- that she should be for God.
This seems to me to be according to the plain meaning of the verses ...