This shiur adapted from my Tablet article "What the Book of Ruth Can Teach Us About Stanford and Sexual Ethics"
In uninstructed relations between man and woman, these three elements of human erotic love [lustful sexual desire, the love of the beautiful and admirable, generative love] coexist warily side by side and often come into conflict. Self-love and the selfish love of one's own are at odds with love of the other and the self-forgetting love of the beautiful. Both are at odds with the self-sacrificing love of a child, seen as one's replacement: a man's love of his beautiful beloved may be at odds with her desire or love for children. Besides, each partner (as male or female) has nonidentical interests and desires, whose differences not only incite union but threaten divorce.
Furthermore, none of the elements of human sexuality is unambiguously good: possessive male lust for union can be degrading to woman, making her but an object of man's satisfaction (as we shall soon see in the story of Pharaoh and Sarah); excessive "love of one's own flesh" means incest (as we shall see in the story of Lot and his daughters); pride-filled love of beauty and concern for self-esteem can give rise to jealousy, discord, and bloodshed (as we saw in the rapacious conduct of the sons of God toward the beautiful daughters of man [6:2], which heralded the chaotic battles of the heroes [see Chapter Five]); and womanly pride in her generative capacity can give rise to domestic strife, injustice and impiety (as we saw in Eve's boastful celebration of the birth of Cain, who, bearing his mother's pride, kills his brother out of wounded pride and jealousy [see Chapter Four], and as we shall soon see in the rivalry between Sarah and Hagar and alter, between sisters Leah and Rachel). Man and woman, left to their own devices, are bound for trouble.
Taming the dangerous female pride in her generative powers, which led Eve to boast that "I have gotten a man [equally] with God," is relatively easy: institute a prolonged period of barrenness before allowing childbirth, so that the woman (and her husband) will understand that a child is not the woman's creation and possession, but an unmerited gift. In keeping with this strategy, three of the four Israelite matriarchs- Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel- will become mothers only after long periods of infertility. But taming male possessive lust or correcting man's pride-filled love of womanly beauty or combating his indifference to- or even resentment of and flight from- the need for procreation is vastly more difficult, as is inducing him to stand rightly with respect to his wife as the prospective mother of his children. Educating a man to esteem woman as mother and to respect the task of moral and spiritual transmission is all the more difficult if he is, like Abraham, personally ambitious for fame and glory. All the more reason, then, why we should expect instruction regarding the meaning of marriage to be a central part of God's education of Abraham.
-Pages 270-271
Questions to Consider
1. How might the book of Genesis be read as a primer for understanding both human sexuality and a system of sexual ethics?
2. Consider what it means to "fear God" and how it pertains to sexuality within Genesis.
3. How can the lessons of Genesis resonate even today?
(Please click here to read the full statement.)
Your Honor, if it is all right, for the majority of this statement I would like to address the defendant directly.
You don’t know me, but you’ve been inside me, and that’s why we’re here today.
[...]
One day, I was at work, scrolling through the news on my phone, and came across an article. In it, I read and learned for the first time about how I was found unconscious, with my hair disheveled, long necklace wrapped around my neck, bra pulled out of my dress, dress pulled off over my shoulders and pulled up above my waist, that I was butt naked all the way down to my boots, legs spread apart, and had been penetrated by a foreign object by someone I did not recognize. This was how I learned what happened to me, sitting at my desk reading the news at work. I learned what happened to me the same time everyone else in the world learned what happened to me. That’s when the pine needles in my hair made sense, they didn’t fall from a tree. He had taken off my underwear, his fingers had been inside of me. I don’t even know this person. I still don’t know this person. When I read about me like this, I said, this can’t be me, this can’t be me. I could not digest or accept any of this information. I could not imagine my family having to read about this online. I kept reading. In the next paragraph, I read something that I will never forgive; I read that according to him, I liked it. I liked it. Again, I do not have words for these feelings.
It’s like if you were to read an article where a car was hit, and found dented, in a ditch. But maybe the car enjoyed being hit. Maybe the other car didn’t mean to hit it, just bump it up a little bit. Cars get in accidents all the time, people aren’t always paying attention, can we really say who’s at fault.
And then, at the bottom of the article, after I learned about the graphic details of my own sexual assault, the article listed his swimming times. She was found breathing, unresponsive with her underwear six inches away from her bare stomach curled in fetal position. By the way, he’s really good at swimming. Throw in my mile time if that’s what we’re doing. I’m good at cooking, put that in there, I think the end is where you list your extracurriculars to cancel out all the sickening things that’ve happened.
The night the news came out I sat my parents down and told them that I had been assaulted, to not look at the news because it’s upsetting, just know that I’m okay, I’m right here, and I’m okay. But halfway through telling them, my mom had to hold me because I could no longer stand up.
The night after it happened, he said he didn’t know my name, said he wouldn’t be able to identify my face in a lineup, didn’t mention any dialogue between us, no words, only dancing and kissing. Dancing is a cute term; was it snapping fingers and twirling dancing, or just bodies grinding up against each other in a crowded room? I wonder if kissing was just faces sloppily pressed up against each other? When the detective asked if he had planned on taking me back to his dorm, he said no. When the detective asked how we ended up behind the dumpster, he said he didn’t know. He admitted to kissing other girls at that party, one of whom was my own sister who pushed him away. He admitted to wanting to hook up with someone. I was the wounded antelope of the herd, completely alone and vulnerable, physically unable to fend for myself, and he chose me. Sometimes I think, if I hadn’t gone, then this never would’ve happened. But then I realized, it would have happened, just to somebody else. You were about to enter four years of access to drunk girls and parties, and if this is the foot you started off on, then it is right you did not continue. The night after it happened, he said he thought I liked it because I rubbed his back. A back rub.
Now let's turn to look at Boaz, and the culture and time period during which he lived.
(א) וַיְהִ֗י בִּימֵי֙ שְׁפֹ֣ט הַשֹּׁפְטִ֔ים וַיְהִ֥י רָעָ֖ב בָּאָ֑רֶץ וַיֵּ֨לֶךְ אִ֜ישׁ מִבֵּ֧ית לֶ֣חֶם יְהוּדָ֗ה לָגוּר֙ בִּשְׂדֵ֣י מוֹאָ֔ב ה֥וּא וְאִשְׁתּ֖וֹ וּשְׁנֵ֥י בָנָֽיו׃
(1) In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land; and a man of Bethlehem in Judah, with his wife and two sons, went to reside in the country of Moab.
What was the sexual ethic in the time of the Judges?
Let us consider Samson.
(1) Once Samson went down to Timnah; and while in Timnah, he noticed a girl among the Philistine women. (2) On his return, he told his father and mother, “I noticed one of the Philistine women in Timnah; please get her for me as a wife.”
(1) Once Samson went to Gaza; there he met a whore and slept with her.
(4) After that, he fell in love with a woman in the Wadi Sorek, named Delilah.
(21) The Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes. They brought him down to Gaza and shackled him in bronze fetters, and he became a mill slave in the prison.
MISHNA: The mishna provides additional examples of people who were treated by Heaven commensurate with their actions. Samson followed his eyes, therefore he was punished measure for measure, as the Philistines gouged out his eyes, as it is stated: “And the Philistines laid hold on him, and put out his eyes” (Judges 16:21).
Also consider Pilegesh B'Givah.
(כב) הֵמָּה֮ מֵיטִיבִ֣ים אֶת־לִבָּם֒ וְהִנֵּה֩ אַנְשֵׁ֨י הָעִ֜יר אַנְשֵׁ֣י בְנֵֽי־בְלִיַּ֗עַל נָסַ֙בּוּ֙ אֶת־הַבַּ֔יִת מִֽתְדַּפְּקִ֖ים עַל־הַדָּ֑לֶת וַיֹּאמְר֗וּ אֶל־הָ֠אִישׁ בַּ֣עַל הַבַּ֤יִת הַזָּקֵן֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר הוֹצֵ֗א אֶת־הָאִ֛ישׁ אֲשֶׁר־בָּ֥א אֶל־בֵּיתְךָ֖ וְנֵדָעֶֽנּוּ׃ (כג) וַיֵּצֵ֣א אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם הָאִישׁ֙ בַּ֣עַל הַבַּ֔יִת וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲלֵהֶ֔ם אַל־אַחַ֖י אַל־תָּרֵ֣עוּ נָ֑א אַ֠חֲרֵי אֲשֶׁר־בָּ֞א הָאִ֤ישׁ הַזֶּה֙ אַל־בֵּיתִ֔י אַֽל־תַּעֲשׂ֖וּ אֶת־הַנְּבָלָ֥ה הַזֹּֽאת׃ (כד) הִנֵּה֩ בִתִּ֨י הַבְּתוּלָ֜ה וּפִֽילַגְשֵׁ֗הוּ אוֹצִֽיאָה־נָּ֤א אוֹתָם֙ וְעַנּ֣וּ אוֹתָ֔ם וַעֲשׂ֣וּ לָהֶ֔ם הַטּ֖וֹב בְּעֵינֵיכֶ֑ם וְלָאִ֤ישׁ הַזֶּה֙ לֹ֣א תַעֲשׂ֔וּ דְּבַ֖ר הַנְּבָלָ֥ה הַזֹּֽאת׃ (כה) וְלֹֽא־אָב֤וּ הָאֲנָשִׁים֙ לִשְׁמֹ֣עַֽ ל֔וֹ וַיַּחֲזֵ֤ק הָאִישׁ֙ בְּפִ֣ילַגְשׁ֔וֹ וַיֹּצֵ֥א אֲלֵיהֶ֖ם הַח֑וּץ וַיֵּדְע֣וּ א֠וֹתָהּ וַיִּֽתְעַלְּלוּ־בָ֤הּ כָּל־הַלַּ֙יְלָה֙ עַד־הַבֹּ֔קֶר וַֽיְשַׁלְּח֖וּהָ בעלות [כַּעֲל֥וֹת] הַשָּֽׁחַר׃
(22) While they were enjoying themselves, the men of the town, a depraved lot, had gathered about the house and were pounding on the door. They called to the aged owner of the house, “Bring out the man who has come into your house, so that we can be intimate with him.” (23) The owner of the house went out and said to them, “Please, my friends, do not commit such a wrong. Since this man has entered my house, do not perpetrate this outrage. (24) Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. Let me bring them out to you. Have your pleasure of them, do what you like with them; but don’t do that outrageous thing to this man.” (25) But the men would not listen to him, so the man seized his concubine and pushed her out to them. They raped her and abused her all night long until morning; and they let her go when dawn broke.
Pilegesh B'Givah leads to civil war, where the other tribes decide to punish the tribe of Benjamin. They also take an oath that they will not allow their daughters to intermarry with the tribe of Benjamin. Due to this, so that the tribe will not fail, Benjaminites must resort to marrying women who were not present when the oath was made- but there are not enough of them. Thus, they must also resort to kidnapping women.
(יח) וַאֲנַ֗חְנוּ לֹ֥א נוּכַ֛ל לָתֵת־לָהֶ֥ם נָשִׁ֖ים מִבְּנוֹתֵ֑ינוּ כִּֽי־נִשְׁבְּע֤וּ בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אָר֕וּר נֹתֵ֥ן אִשָּׁ֖ה לְבִנְיָמִֽן׃ (ס) (יט) וַיֹּאמְר֡וּ הִנֵּה֩ חַג־ה' בְּשִׁל֜וֹ מִיָּמִ֣ים ׀ יָמִ֗ימָה אֲשֶׁ֞ר מִצְּפ֤וֹנָה לְבֵֽית־אֵל֙ מִזְרְחָ֣ה הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ לִמְסִלָּ֔ה הָעֹלָ֥ה מִבֵּֽית־אֵ֖ל שְׁכֶ֑מָה וּמִנֶּ֖גֶב לִלְבוֹנָֽה׃ (כ) ויצו [וַיְצַוּ֕וּ] אֶת־בְּנֵ֥י בִנְיָמִ֖ן לֵאמֹ֑ר לְכ֖וּ וַאֲרַבְתֶּ֥ם בַּכְּרָמִֽים׃ (כא) וּרְאִיתֶ֗ם וְ֠הִנֵּה אִם־יֵ֨צְא֥וּ בְנוֹת־שִׁילוֹ֮ לָח֣וּל בַּמְּחֹלוֹת֒ וִֽיצָאתֶם֙ מִן־הַכְּרָמִ֔ים וַחֲטַפְתֶּ֥ם לָכֶ֛ם אִ֥ישׁ אִשְׁתּ֖וֹ מִבְּנ֣וֹת שִׁיל֑וֹ וַהֲלַכְתֶּ֖ם אֶ֥רֶץ בִּנְיָמִֽן׃
(18) yet we cannot give them any of our daughters as wives,” since the Israelites had taken an oath: “Cursed be anyone who gives a wife to Benjamin!” (19) They said, “The annual feast of the LORD is now being held at Shiloh.” (It lies north of Bethel, east of the highway that runs from Bethel to Shechem, and south of Lebonah.) (20) So they instructed the Benjaminites as follows: “Go and lie in wait in the vineyards. (21) As soon as you see the girls of Shiloh coming out to join in the dances, come out from the vineyards; let each of you seize a wife from among the girls of Shiloh, and be off for the land of Benjamin.
Lawlessness is the order of the day, as is attested by the following verse.
(25) In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did as he pleased (literally: did what was right in his own eyes).
(Click here to read the full letter.)
When Carleen and I took Brock to Stanford in September 2014 to begin his freshman year, we both felt he was totally prepared for the experience. He had been to many national level swim camps and meets and was comfortable being away from home. We were very excited for Brock as he settled into Stanford during that first quarter as a brand new student athlete. He excelled in school that quarter earning the top GPA for all freshmen on the swim team. What we didn’t realize was the extent to which Brock was struggling being so far from home. Brock was working hard to adapt to the rigors of both school and swimming. When Brock was home during Christmas break, he broke down and told us how much he was struggling to fit in socially and the fact that he did not like being so far from home. Brock was nearly distraught knowing that he had to return early from Christmas break for swimming training camp. We even questioned whether it was the right move to send him back to Stanford for the winter quarter. In hindsight, it’s clear that Brock was desperately trying to fit in at Stanford and fell into the culture of alcohol consumption and partying. This culture was modeled by many of the upperclassmen on the “swim team and played a role in the events of Jan 17th and 18th 2015. Looking back at Brock’s brief experience at Stanford, I honestly don’t believe it was the best fit for him. He was ready academically and athletically, but it was simply too far from home for someone who was born and raised in the Midwest. He needed the support structure of being closer to family and friends.
As it stands now, Brock’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events of Jan 17th and 18th. He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile. His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite. Brock always enjoyed certain types of food and is a very good cook himself. I was always excited to buy him a big ribeye steak to grill or to get his favorite snack for him. I had to make sure to hide some of my favorite pretzels or chips because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Brock walked in from a long swim practice. Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist. These verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life. The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work, and how he will be able to interact with people and organizations. What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock. He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions on the night of Jan 17th 2015. Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and is totally committed to educating other college age students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity. By having people like Brock educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of binge drinking and its unfortunate results. Probation is the best answer for Brock in this situation and allows him to give back to society in a net positive way.
Questions to Consider
1. How does Brock's father view Brock- as a victim or a perpetrator?
2. Is it possible to view both Brock and Chanel as victims in this scenario?
3. Brock's father blames the Stanford and swim team culture of "alcohol consumption and partying" for his son's actions. To what extent, if any, do you think culture should be taken into account when one commits a criminal act (such as sexual assault or rape)?
4. Now let's consider Boaz...who lives during the time of the Judges, and a culture that is lawless and sexually problematic. What temptations does he face? How might we expect him to respond?
(א) וַתֹּ֥אמֶר לָ֖הּ נָעֳמִ֣י חֲמוֹתָ֑הּ בִּתִּ֞י הֲלֹ֧א אֲבַקֶּשׁ־לָ֛ךְ מָנ֖וֹחַ אֲשֶׁ֥ר יִֽיטַב־לָֽךְ׃ (ב) וְעַתָּ֗ה הֲלֹ֥א בֹ֙עַז֙ מֹֽדַעְתָּ֔נוּ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הָיִ֖ית אֶת־נַעֲרוֹתָ֑יו הִנֵּה־ה֗וּא זֹרֶ֛ה אֶת־גֹּ֥רֶן הַשְּׂעֹרִ֖ים הַלָּֽיְלָה׃ (ג) וְרָחַ֣צְתְּ ׀ וָסַ֗כְתְּ וְשַׂ֧מְתְּ שמלתך [שִׂמְלֹתַ֛יִךְ] עָלַ֖יִךְ וירדתי [וְיָרַ֣דְתְּ] הַגֹּ֑רֶן אַל־תִּוָּדְעִ֣י לָאִ֔ישׁ עַ֥ד כַּלֹּת֖וֹ לֶאֱכֹ֥ל וְלִשְׁתּֽוֹת׃ (ד) וִיהִ֣י בְשָׁכְב֗וֹ וְיָדַ֙עַתְּ֙ אֶת־הַמָּקוֹם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר יִשְׁכַּב־שָׁ֔ם וּבָ֛את וְגִלִּ֥ית מַרְגְּלֹתָ֖יו ושכבתי [וְשָׁכָ֑בְתְּ] וְהוּא֙ יַגִּ֣יד לָ֔ךְ אֵ֖ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר תַּעַשִֽׂין׃ (ה) וַתֹּ֖אמֶר אֵלֶ֑יהָ כֹּ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־תֹּאמְרִ֥י [אֵלַ֖י] אֶֽעֱשֶֽׂה׃ (ו) וַתֵּ֖רֶד הַגֹּ֑רֶן וַתַּ֕עַשׂ כְּכֹ֥ל אֲשֶׁר־צִוַּ֖תָּה חֲמוֹתָֽהּ׃ (ז) וַיֹּ֨אכַל בֹּ֤עַז וַיֵּשְׁתְּ֙ וַיִּיטַ֣ב לִבּ֔וֹ וַיָּבֹ֕א לִשְׁכַּ֖ב בִּקְצֵ֣ה הָעֲרֵמָ֑ה וַתָּבֹ֣א בַלָּ֔ט וַתְּגַ֥ל מַרְגְּלֹתָ֖יו וַתִּשְׁכָּֽב׃ (ח) וַיְהִי֙ בַּחֲצִ֣י הַלַּ֔יְלָה וַיֶּחֱרַ֥ד הָאִ֖ישׁ וַיִּלָּפֵ֑ת וְהִנֵּ֣ה אִשָּׁ֔ה שֹׁכֶ֖בֶת מַרְגְּלֹתָֽיו׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר מִי־אָ֑תּ וַתֹּ֗אמֶר אָנֹכִי֙ ר֣וּת אֲמָתֶ֔ךָ וּפָרַשְׂתָּ֤ כְנָפֶ֙ךָ֙ עַל־אֲמָ֣תְךָ֔ כִּ֥י גֹאֵ֖ל אָֽתָּה׃ (י) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר בְּרוּכָ֨ה אַ֤תְּ לַֽה' בִּתִּ֔י הֵיטַ֛בְתְּ חַסְדֵּ֥ךְ הָאַחֲר֖וֹן מִן־הָרִאשׁ֑וֹן לְבִלְתִּי־לֶ֗כֶת אַחֲרֵי֙ הַבַּ֣חוּרִ֔ים אִם־דַּ֖ל וְאִם־עָשִֽׁיר׃ (יא) וְעַתָּ֗ה בִּתִּי֙ אַל־תִּ֣ירְאִ֔י כֹּ֥ל אֲשֶׁר־תֹּאמְרִ֖י אֶֽעֱשֶׂה־לָּ֑ךְ כִּ֤י יוֹדֵ֙עַ֙ כָּל־שַׁ֣עַר עַמִּ֔י כִּ֛י אֵ֥שֶׁת חַ֖יִל אָֽתְּ׃ (יב) וְעַתָּה֙ כִּ֣י אָמְנָ֔ם כִּ֥י אם גֹאֵ֖ל אָנֹ֑כִי וְגַ֛ם יֵ֥שׁ גֹּאֵ֖ל קָר֥וֹב מִמֶּֽנִּי׃ (יג) לִ֣ינִי ׀ הַלַּ֗יְלָה וְהָיָ֤ה בַבֹּ֙קֶר֙ אִם־יִגְאָלֵ֥ךְ טוֹב֙ יִגְאָ֔ל וְאִם־לֹ֨א יַחְפֹּ֧ץ לְגָֽאֳלֵ֛ךְ וּגְאַלְתִּ֥יךְ אָנֹ֖כִי חַי־ה' שִׁכְבִ֖י עַד־הַבֹּֽקֶר׃ (יד) וַתִּשְׁכַּ֤ב מרגלתו [מַרְגְּלוֹתָיוֹ֙] עַד־הַבֹּ֔קֶר וַתָּ֕קָם בטרום [בְּטֶ֛רֶם] יַכִּ֥יר אִ֖ישׁ אֶת־רֵעֵ֑הוּ וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אַל־יִוָּדַ֔ע כִּי־בָ֥אָה הָאִשָּׁ֖ה הַגֹּֽרֶן׃
(1) Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, “Daughter, I must seek a home for you, where you may be happy. (2) Now there is our kinsman Boaz, whose girls you were close to. He will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor tonight. (3) So bathe, anoint yourself, dress up, and go down to the threshing floor. But do not disclose yourself to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. (4) When he lies down, note the place where he lies down, and go over and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what you are to do.” (5) She replied, “I will do everything you tell me.” (6) She went down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had instructed her. (7) Boaz ate and drank, and in a cheerful mood went to lie down beside the grainpile. Then she went over stealthily and uncovered his feet and lay down. (8) In the middle of the night, the man gave a start and pulled back—there was a woman lying at his feet! (9) “Who are you?” he asked. And she replied, “I am your handmaid Ruth. Spread your robe over your handmaid, for you are a redeeming kinsman.” (10) He exclaimed, “Be blessed of the LORD, daughter! Your latest deed of loyalty is greater than the first, in that you have not turned to younger men, whether poor or rich. (11) And now, daughter, have no fear. I will do in your behalf whatever you ask, for all the elders of my town know what a fine woman you are. (12) But while it is true I am a redeeming kinsman, there is another redeemer closer than I. (13) Stay for the night. Then in the morning, if he will act as a redeemer, good! let him redeem. But if he does not want to act as redeemer for you, I will do so myself, as the LORD lives! Lie down until morning.” (14) So she lay at his feet until dawn. She rose before one person could distinguish another, for he thought, “Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor.”
Questions to Consider
1. This appears to be a seduction scene. How else could the scene have gone after verse 8?
2. What does Boaz ask Ruth? What is impressive about this (and how does it contrast with Brock Turner)?
3. What temptation does Boaz NOT give into?
4. What is so striking about Boaz's view/ consideration in verse 14?
Now let's go back in time to understand who Ruth & Boaz descend from...as that makes Boaz's actions in this scene even more unbelievable.
Ruth is a Moabite descended from Moab, a child born from the union of Lot and his daughter.
Boaz is a descendant of Judah and Tamar.
Both of those sexual unions feature deception- but they also focus on men CHOOSING not to know the identities of the women they slept with.
(ל) וַיַּעַל֩ ל֨וֹט מִצּ֜וֹעַר וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב בָּהָ֗ר וּשְׁתֵּ֤י בְנֹתָיו֙ עִמּ֔וֹ כִּ֥י יָרֵ֖א לָשֶׁ֣בֶת בְּצ֑וֹעַר וַיֵּ֙שֶׁב֙ בַּמְּעָרָ֔ה ה֖וּא וּשְׁתֵּ֥י בְנֹתָֽיו׃ (לא) וַתֹּ֧אמֶר הַבְּכִירָ֛ה אֶל־הַצְּעִירָ֖ה אָבִ֣ינוּ זָקֵ֑ן וְאִ֨ישׁ אֵ֤ין בָּאָ֙רֶץ֙ לָב֣וֹא עָלֵ֔ינוּ כְּדֶ֖רֶךְ כָּל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (לב) לְכָ֨ה נַשְׁקֶ֧ה אֶת־אָבִ֛ינוּ יַ֖יִן וְנִשְׁכְּבָ֣ה עִמּ֑וֹ וּנְחַיֶּ֥ה מֵאָבִ֖ינוּ זָֽרַע׃ (לג) וַתַּשְׁקֶ֧יןָ אֶת־אֲבִיהֶ֛ן יַ֖יִן בַּלַּ֣יְלָה ה֑וּא וַתָּבֹ֤א הַבְּכִירָה֙ וַתִּשְׁכַּ֣ב אֶת־אָבִ֔יהָ וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקׄוּמָֽהּ׃ (לד) וַֽיְהִי֙ מִֽמָּחֳרָ֔ת וַתֹּ֤אמֶר הַבְּכִירָה֙ אֶל־הַצְּעִירָ֔ה הֵן־שָׁכַ֥בְתִּי אֶ֖מֶשׁ אֶת־אָבִ֑י נַשְׁקֶ֨נּוּ יַ֜יִן גַּם־הַלַּ֗יְלָה וּבֹ֙אִי֙ שִׁכְבִ֣י עִמּ֔וֹ וּנְחַיֶּ֥ה מֵאָבִ֖ינוּ זָֽרַע׃ (לה) וַתַּשְׁקֶ֜יןָ גַּ֣ם בַּלַּ֧יְלָה הַה֛וּא אֶת־אֲבִיהֶ֖ן יָ֑יִן וַתָּ֤קָם הַצְּעִירָה֙ וַתִּשְׁכַּ֣ב עִמּ֔וֹ וְלֹֽא־יָדַ֥ע בְּשִׁכְבָ֖הּ וּבְקֻמָֽהּ׃ (לו) וַֽתַּהֲרֶ֛יןָ שְׁתֵּ֥י בְנֽוֹת־ל֖וֹט מֵאֲבִיהֶֽן׃ (לז) וַתֵּ֤לֶד הַבְּכִירָה֙ בֵּ֔ן וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ מוֹאָ֑ב ה֥וּא אֲבִֽי־מוֹאָ֖ב עַד־הַיּֽוֹם׃ (לח) וְהַצְּעִירָ֤ה גַם־הִוא֙ יָ֣לְדָה בֵּ֔ן וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ בֶּן־עַמִּ֑י ה֛וּא אֲבִ֥י בְנֵֽי־עַמּ֖וֹן עַד־הַיּֽוֹם׃ (ס)
(30) Lot went up from Zoar and settled in the hill country with his two daughters, for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar; and he and his two daughters lived in a cave. (31) And the older one said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to consort with us in the way of all the world. (32) Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him, that we may maintain life through our father.” (33) That night they made their father drink wine, and the older one went in and lay with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she rose. (34) The next day the older one said to the younger, “See, I lay with Father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go and lie with him, that we may maintain life through our father.” (35) That night also they made their father drink wine, and the younger one went and lay with him; he did not know when she lay down or when she rose. (36) Thus the two daughters of Lot came to be with child by their father. (37) The older one bore a son and named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. (38) And the younger also bore a son, and she called him Ben-ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.
The Gemara asks: And perhaps Lot too intended that his actions should be for the sake of a mitzva? The Gemara answers: This was not the case, as Rabbi Yoḥanan said with regard to Lot: This entire verse: “And Lot lifted up his eyes, and saw all the plain of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere” (Genesis 13:10), is stated with regard to the sin of licentiousness. Since this verse teaches that Lot was a lustful man, it can therefore be assumed he meant to sin with his daughters as well. Rabbi Yoḥanan explains: “And Lot lifted up his eyes” employs the same expression as a verse that refers to Joseph’s temptation: “That his master’s wife lifted up her eyes” (Genesis 39:7), which is clearly referring to sin. The phrase used in reference to Lot, “his eyes,” is stated similarly to Samson’s appraisal of the Philistine girl he sought to marry: “For she is pleasing in my eyes” (Judges 14:3).
The Gemara asks: But Lot was forced to participate in the sexual intercourse, as he was asleep at the time; how can he be considered a sinner? The Gemara answers that this is as a Sage taught in the name of Rabbi Yosei bar Rav Ḥoni: Why is there a dot in a Torah scroll over the letter vav of the word “uvekumah,” with regard to Lot’s elder daughter, in the verse: “And he did not know when she lay down and when she arose [uvekumah]” (Genesis 19:33)? This dot serves to say that when she lay down he did not know; however, when she arose he knew what she had done, as he later understood what had happened.
Now let's look at Judah and Tamar.
(יב) וַיִּרְבּוּ֙ הַיָּמִ֔ים וַתָּ֖מָת בַּת־שׁ֣וּעַ אֵֽשֶׁת־יְהוּדָ֑ה וַיִּנָּ֣חֶם יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיַּ֜עַל עַל־גֹּֽזֲזֵ֤י צֹאנוֹ֙ ה֗וּא וְחִירָ֛ה רֵעֵ֥הוּ הָעֲדֻלָּמִ֖י תִּמְנָֽתָה׃ (יג) וַיֻּגַּ֥ד לְתָמָ֖ר לֵאמֹ֑ר הִנֵּ֥ה חָמִ֛יךְ עֹלֶ֥ה תִמְנָ֖תָה לָגֹ֥ז צֹאנֽוֹ׃ (יד) וַתָּסַר֩ בִּגְדֵ֨י אַלְמְנוּתָ֜הּ מֵֽעָלֶ֗יהָ וַתְּכַ֤ס בַּצָּעִיף֙ וַתִּתְעַלָּ֔ף וַתֵּ֙שֶׁב֙ בְּפֶ֣תַח עֵינַ֔יִם אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־דֶּ֣רֶךְ תִּמְנָ֑תָה כִּ֤י רָאֲתָה֙ כִּֽי־גָדַ֣ל שֵׁלָ֔ה וְהִ֕וא לֹֽא־נִתְּנָ֥ה ל֖וֹ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃ (טו) וַיִּרְאֶ֣הָ יְהוּדָ֔ה וַֽיַּחְשְׁבֶ֖הָ לְזוֹנָ֑ה כִּ֥י כִסְּתָ֖ה פָּנֶֽיהָ׃ (טז) וַיֵּ֨ט אֵלֶ֜יהָ אֶל־הַדֶּ֗רֶךְ וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הָֽבָה־נָּא֙ אָב֣וֹא אֵלַ֔יִךְ כִּ֚י לֹ֣א יָדַ֔ע כִּ֥י כַלָּת֖וֹ הִ֑וא וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ מַה־תִּתֶּן־לִּ֔י כִּ֥י תָב֖וֹא אֵלָֽי׃ (יז) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אָנֹכִ֛י אֲשַׁלַּ֥ח גְּדִֽי־עִזִּ֖ים מִן־הַצֹּ֑אן וַתֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־תִּתֵּ֥ן עֵרָב֖וֹן עַ֥ד שָׁלְחֶֽךָ׃ (יח) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מָ֣ה הָֽעֵרָבוֹן֮ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶתֶּן־לָּךְ֒ וַתֹּ֗אמֶר חֹתָֽמְךָ֙ וּפְתִילֶ֔ךָ וּמַטְּךָ֖ אֲשֶׁ֣ר בְּיָדֶ֑ךָ וַיִּתֶּן־לָּ֛הּ וַיָּבֹ֥א אֵלֶ֖יהָ וַתַּ֥הַר לֽוֹ׃ (יט) וַתָּ֣קָם וַתֵּ֔לֶךְ וַתָּ֥סַר צְעִיפָ֖הּ מֵעָלֶ֑יהָ וַתִּלְבַּ֖שׁ בִּגְדֵ֥י אַלְמְנוּתָֽהּ׃
(12) A long time afterward, Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died. When his period of mourning was over, Judah went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, together with his friend Hirah the Adullamite. (13) And Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is coming up to Timnah for the sheepshearing.” (14) So she took off her widow’s garb, covered her face with a veil, and, wrapping herself up, sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him as wife. (15) When Judah saw her, he took her for a harlot; for she had covered her face. (16) So he turned aside to her by the road and said, “Here, let me sleep with you”—for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. “What,” she asked, “will you pay for sleeping with me?” (17) He replied, “I will send a kid from my flock.” But she said, “You must leave a pledge until you have sent it.” (18) And he said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your seal and cord, and the staff which you carry.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she conceived by him. (19) Then she went on her way. She took off her veil and again put on her widow’s garb.
Notice that Judah never asks the woman at the roadside what her name is...he takes her to be a harlot, and that is who she is to him. He does not seek her identity.
BOAZ'S QUERY: WHO IS THIS WOMAN?
Why does Boaz tremble? The word hared in Tanakh generally indicates a frightened response, often due to a sudden realization of threatening or awesome circumstances. Why is Boaz so frightened? Several possibilities are raised by biblical commentators. Perhaps Boaz feels physically endangered by the unexpected presence of a strange person in the field at night. Possibly, Boaz is afraid of the prospect that he will not be able to overcome temptation and will sin with this woman. Yet Boaz allays the sexually charged atmosphere.
And he said, "who are you?" And she said, "I am Ruth, your maidservant. Spread your wings over your maidservant, for you are a redeemer." (3:9)
The significance of this moment cannot be overstated. Instead of allowing the situation to advance toward a sexually satisfying conclusion, Boaz inquires the identity of the woman who lies seductively at his feet. How does Boaz accomplish this? From where does he find the restraint and reserves of energy that enable him to resist this all-too-human temptation? We will soon address these questions. For the present, I intend to examine a separate question: What is the significance of Boaz's query, "Who are you?"
As we have seen, questions of identity constitute a leitmotif in the Book of Ruth. When Boaz first sees Ruth in the fields, he inquires about Ruth's identity: "To whom is this young woman?" The overseer's answer ("She is a Moabite young woman") depletes Ruth of an identity. She is a foreigner, nothing more. Boaz's recognition of Ruth is momentous, and Ruth expresses her astonished appreciation: "Why have I found favor in your eyes to recognize me, and I am but a stranger?" (2:10)
Thus, in chapter 2, Boaz combats the perception that Ruth lacks a name and an identity beyond her Moabite, alien status. In chapter 3, Boaz combats the perception that Ruth is simply a gender, a woman who may be regarded as a vehicle for reproduction (by Naomi) or for pleasure (by the men in the town, and perhaps, also by Boaz). Indeed, immediately prior to Boaz's inquiry regarding Ruth's identity (3:8), Ruth is referred to solely as an isha, a woman who lies suggestively at Boaz's feet, lacking a name or an identity.
Boaz's query allows Ruth to restore her identity and elevates her above a mere sexual object. By inquiring after Ruth's individual identity, Boaz demonstrates that in this period, rife with the treatment of women as sexual objects, someone has mustered the capacity to recognize a nameless woman as a subject. The sexual purity that Boaz exhibits in this scenario may be regarded as a correction of the widespread sexual impropriety of the generation. In this way, Boaz begins the process of mending this debauched and socially chaotic period.
-Pages 309-311
In answer to Boaz's query, Ruth identifies herself by name, "I am Ruth, your maidservant." Boaz's query gives Ruth the opportunity to identify herself in a situation in which she has presented herself to him as a sexual object, turning her from object to subject. In prompting Ruth to employ the word anokhi, Boaz allows ruth to express self-definition, a profound recognition of her I-ness. More to the point, at this moment, Boaz has actualy offered Ruth the opportunity to state her name.
-Page 326
Questions to Consider
1. What does it mean to be seen? To be known?
2. How is identity at the core of the story of Ruth?
3. How is the union of Boaz & Ruth redemptive?
4. In what ways is Boaz a fitting contrast to Brock Turner?
KEY TAKEAWAYS
DO NOT BE COMPLICIT IN A CORRUPT CULTURE. Consider the #MeToo Movement, especially the fact that nearly half of the men brought down by it were replaced by women. Many of the problems brought to light by #MeToo focused on people being COMPLICIT, pretending not to know or pretending not to see what was happening before them. This is similar to Lot's COMPLICITY when it came to sleeping with his daughters (as compared to Judah's lack of interest regarding whom he slept with). And similarly Brock Turner did not ask or care about the identity of the person he was with. Boaz turns all of this on its head- when offered a sexual encounter, he DEMANDS to know who is before him- he seeks identity.
SEE OTHERS. The focus in this shiur is on seeing others as individuals within a sexual context. However, it is important to always seek to see others and to understand where they are coming from - to look at them as layered, multifaceted people, and not only as one aspect of themselves.
REDEMPTION IS POSSIBLE. Both Ruth & Boaz descended from people who demonstrated sexual selfishness. Additionally, they lived in the time of the Judges- where lawlessness prevailed. Yet their relationship is redemptive and leads to the Davidic dynasty.