Love: Strong & Fierce as Death

(6) Let me be a seal upon your heart, Like the seal upon your hand. For love is fierce as death, Passion is mighty as Sheol; Its darts are darts of fire, A blazing flame.

All love that depends on something, [when the] thing ceases, [the] love ceases; and [all love] that does not depend on anything, will never cease. What is an example of love that depended on a something? Such was the love of Amnon for Tamar. And what is an example of love that did not depend on anything? Such was the love of David and Jonathan.

(1) When [David] finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan’s soul became bound up with the soul of David; Jonathan loved David as himself.

(30) “Now, if I come to your servant my father and the boy is not with us—since his own soul is so bound up with his—

(3) Jonathan and David made a pact, because [Jonathan] loved him as himself.

(1) Saul urged his son Jonathan and all his courtiers to kill David. But Saul’s son Jonathan was very fond of David, (2) and Jonathan told David, “My father Saul is bent on killing you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; get to a secret place and remain in hiding.

(3) David swore further, “Your father knows well that you are fond of me and has decided: Jonathan must not learn of this or he will be grieved. But, as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.”

(12) Then Jonathan said to David, “By the LORD, the God of Israel! I will sound out my father at this time tomorrow, [or] on the third day; and if [his response] is favorable for David, I will send a message to you at once and disclose it to you. (13) But if my father intends to do you harm, may the LORD do thus to Jonathan and more if I do [not] disclose it to you and send you off to escape unharmed. May the LORD be with you, as He used to be with my father. (14) Nor shall you fail to show me the LORD’s faithfulness, while I am alive; nor, when I am dead, (15) shall you ever discontinue your faithfulness to my house—not even after the LORD has wiped out every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth. (16) Thus has Jonathan covenanted with the house of David; and may the LORD requite the enemies of David!” (17) Jonathan, out of his love for David, adjured him again, for he loved him as himself.

(30) Saul flew into a rage against Jonathan. “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman!” he shouted. “I know that you side with the son of Jesse—to your shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness! (31) For as long as the son of Jesse lives on earth, neither you nor your kingship will be secure. Now then, have him brought to me, for he is marked for death.” (32) But Jonathan spoke up and said to his father, “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” (33) At that, Saul threw his spear at him to strike him down; and Jonathan realized that his father was determined to do away with David.

(16) And Saul’s son Jonathan came to David at Horesh and encouraged him in [the name of] God. (17) He said to him, “Do not be afraid: the hand of my father Saul will never touch you. You are going to be king over Israel and I shall be second to you; and even my father Saul knows this is so.”

(5) The king gave orders to Joab, Abishai, and Ittai: “Deal gently with my boy Absalom, for my sake.” All the troops heard the king give the order about Absalom to all the officers.

(1) The king was shaken. He went up to the upper chamber of the gateway and wept, moaning these words as he went, “My son Absalom! O my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2) Joab was told that the king was weeping and mourning over Absalom. (3) And the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the troops, for that day the troops heard that the king was grieving over his son. (4) The troops stole into town that day like troops ashamed after running away in battle. (5) The king covered his face and the king kept crying aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!” (6) Joab came to the king in his quarters and said, “Today you have humiliated all your followers, who this day saved your life, and the lives of your sons and daughters, and the lives of your wives and concubines, (7) by showing love for those who hate you and hate for those who love you. For you have made clear today that the officers and men mean nothing to you. I am sure that if Absalom were alive today and the rest of us dead, you would have preferred it.

My son Absalom. Our rabbis of blessed memory stated that he said "my son" eight times- seven times to lift him out of the seven levels of Gehinom and the eighth to bring him into Gan Eden. According to the peshat, this is the way of the lamenters, to double their language, like in Jeremiah 4:19 "My bowels, my bowels- I writhe in pain!"

And so he said as he went, "My son, Absalom" it wants to say that even though he rebelled and revolted, he [King David] cried over him for two reasons.

1. Because he did not believe that it was his [Absalom's] intention to kill his father, only to rule in his place, and due to this he said my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, to indicate you were my son, not like a cruel person, strange and foreign to me to kill me, and you were "my son, my son", my main son who was worthy to rule in my place.

2. Because he knew that this matter came about due to his own sin and what the prophet [Nathan] had told him [see 2 Samuel 12:11-12], and therefore he asked if only I had died instead of you, and so he determined to say my son, my son Absalom- as though to indicate he [Absalom] were righteous of his own right and had been punished for the sin of his father. And our sages of blessed memory stated that he said the word "my son" eight times to bring him up out of the seven levels of Gehinnom and bring him to Gan Eden and this is hinted at by the phrasing - that he took him out of the depths of Gehinnom thorugh his weeping.

Rava said to Rav Naḥman: Master, appear to me in a dream after your death. And he appeared to him. Rava said to him: Master, did you have pain in death? Rav Naḥman said to him: Like the removal of hair from milk, which is a most gentle process. But nevertheless, were the Holy One, Blessed be He, to say to me: Go back to that world, the physical world, as you were, I would not want to go, for the fear of the Angel of Death is great. And I would not want to go through such a terrifying experience a second time.

The Gemara cites another proof: Come and hear, as it is told: They would deposit the money of orphans with Shmuel’s father for safekeeping. When Shmuel’s father died, Shmuel was not with him, and did not learn from him the location of the money. Since he did not return it, Shmuel was called: Son of him who consumes the money of orphans. Shmuel went after his father to the cemetery and said to the dead: I want Abba. The dead said to him: There are many Abbas here. He told them: I want Abba bar Abba. They said to him: There are also many people named Abba bar Abba here. He told them: I want Abba bar Abba, the father of Shmuel. Where is he? They replied: Ascend to the yeshiva on high. Meanwhile, he saw his friend Levi sitting outside the yeshiva, away from the rest of the deceased. He asked him: Why do you sit outside? Why did you not ascend to the yeshiva? He replied: Because they tell me that for all those years that you didn’t enter the yeshiva of Rabbi Afes, and thereby upset him, we will not grant you entry to the yeshiva on high.

Meanwhile, Shmuel’s father came and Shmuel saw that he was crying and laughing. Shmuel said to his father: Why are you crying? His father replied: Because you will come here soon. Shmuel continued and asked: Why are you laughing? His father replied: Because you are extremely important in this world. Shmuel said to him: If I am important, then let them grant Levi entry to the yeshiva. And so it was that they granted Levi entry to the yeshiva.

Shmuel said to his father: Where is the orphans’ money? He said to him: Go and retrieve it from the millhouse, where you will find the uppermost and the lowermost money is ours, and the money in the middle belongs to the orphans. Shmuel said to him: Why did you do that? He replied: If thieves stole, they would steal from our money on top, which the thief would see first. If the earth swallowed up any of it, it would swallow from our money, on the bottom.