A guided "Tippling Through the Torah" style study of the Rosh Chodesh Haftorah.
(א) כֹּ֚ה אָמַ֣ר יי הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם כִּסְאִ֔י וְהָאָ֖רֶץ הֲדֹ֣ם רַגְלָ֑י אֵי־זֶ֥ה בַ֙יִת֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּבְנוּ־לִ֔י וְאֵי־זֶ֥ה מָק֖וֹם מְנוּחָתִֽי׃
(ב) וְאֶת־כָּל־אֵ֙לֶּה֙ יָדִ֣י עָשָׂ֔תָה וַיִּהְי֥וּ כָל־אֵ֖לֶּה נְאֻם־יי וְאֶל־זֶ֣ה אַבִּ֔יט אֶל־עָנִי֙ וּנְכֵה־ר֔וּחַ וְחָרֵ֖ד עַל־דְּבָרִֽי׃
(ג) שׁוֹחֵ֨ט הַשּׁ֜וֹר מַכֵּה־אִ֗ישׁ זוֹבֵ֤חַ הַשֶּׂה֙ עֹ֣רֵֽף כֶּ֔לֶב מַעֲלֵ֤ה מִנְחָה֙ דַּם־חֲזִ֔יר מַזְכִּ֥יר לְבֹנָ֖ה מְבָ֣רֵֽךְ אָ֑וֶן גַּם־הֵ֗מָּה בָּֽחֲרוּ֙ בְּדַרְכֵיהֶ֔ם וּבְשִׁקּוּצֵיהֶ֖ם נַפְשָׁ֥ם חָפֵֽצָה׃
(ד) גַּם־אֲנִ֞י אֶבְחַ֣ר בְּתַעֲלֻלֵיהֶ֗ם וּמְגֽוּרֹתָם֙ אָבִ֣יא לָהֶ֔ם יַ֤עַן קָרָ֙אתִי֙ וְאֵ֣ין עוֹנֶ֔ה דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי וְלֹ֣א שָׁמֵ֑עוּ וַיַּעֲשׂ֤וּ הָרַע֙ בְּעֵינַ֔י וּבַאֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־חָפַ֖צְתִּי בָּחָֽרוּ׃ (ס)
(ה) שִׁמְעוּ֙ דְּבַר־יי הַחֲרֵדִ֖ים אֶל־דְּבָר֑וֹ אָמְרוּ֩ אֲחֵיכֶ֨ם שֹׂנְאֵיכֶ֜ם מְנַדֵּיכֶ֗ם לְמַ֤עַן שְׁמִי֙ יִכְבַּ֣ד יי וְנִרְאֶ֥ה בְשִׂמְחַתְכֶ֖ם וְהֵ֥ם יֵבֹֽשׁוּ׃
(1) Thus said the LORD: The heaven is My throne And the earth is My footstool: Where could you build a house for Me, What place could serve as My abode?
(2) All this was made by My hand, And thus it all came into being —declares the LORD. Yet to such a one I look: To the poor and brokenhearted, Who is concerned about My word.
(3) As for those who slaughter oxen and slay humans, Who sacrifice sheep and immolate dogs, Who present as oblation the blood of swine, Who offer incense and worship false gods— Just as they have chosen their ways And take pleasure in their abominations,
(4) So will I choose to mock them, To bring on them the very thing they dread. For I called and none responded, I spoke and none paid heed. They did what I deem evil And chose what I do not want.
(5) Hear the word of the LORD, You who are concerned about His word! Your kinsmen who hate you, Who spurn you because of Me, are saying, “Let the LORD manifest His Presence, So that we may look upon your joy.” But theirs shall be the shame.
Opening segment: the necessity of "proper" sacrifices and sustained adherence to tradition. A "Tippling Through The Torah" reaction to this would likely include traditional drink recipes. We'd probably also jump at any chance to make fun of "traditional" Jewish practices that feel outmoded to us.
(ו) ק֤וֹל שָׁאוֹן֙ מֵעִ֔יר ק֖וֹל מֵֽהֵיכָ֑ל ק֣וֹל יי מְשַׁלֵּ֥ם גְּמ֖וּל לְאֹיְבָֽיו׃ (ז) בְּטֶ֥רֶם תָּחִ֖יל יָלָ֑דָה בְּטֶ֨רֶם יָב֥וֹא חֵ֛בֶל לָ֖הּ וְהִמְלִ֥יטָה זָכָֽר׃ (ח) מִֽי־שָׁמַ֣ע כָּזֹ֗את מִ֤י רָאָה֙ כָּאֵ֔לֶּה הֲי֤וּחַל אֶ֙רֶץ֙ בְּי֣וֹם אֶחָ֔ד אִם־יִוָּ֥לֵֽד גּ֖וֹי פַּ֣עַם אֶחָ֑ת כִּֽי־חָ֛לָה גַּם־יָלְדָ֥ה צִיּ֖וֹן אֶת־בָּנֶֽיהָ׃ (ט) הַאֲנִ֥י אַשְׁבִּ֛יר וְלֹ֥א אוֹלִ֖יד יֹאמַ֣ר יי אִם־אֲנִ֧י הַמּוֹלִ֛יד וְעָצַ֖רְתִּי אָמַ֥ר אֱלֹקָֽיִךְ׃ (ס)
(6) Hark, tumult from the city, Thunder from the Temple! It is the thunder of the LORD As He deals retribution to His foes. (7) Before she labored, she was delivered; Before her pangs came, she bore a son. (8) Who ever heard the like? Who ever witnessed such events? Can a land pass through travail In a single day? Or is a nation born All at once? Yet Zion travailed And at once bore her children! (9) Shall I who bring on labor not bring about birth? —says the LORD. Shall I who cause birth shut the womb? —said your God.
Linking Rosh Chodesh to birth and midwives. Tippling Through the Torah might use this as a springboard for a "girlie' drink, a milky drink, adapting a recipe created by our Junior Kiddush Club...or we might just tease our most squeamish male member for a bit.
(י) שִׂמְח֧וּ אֶת־יְרוּשָׁלִַ֛ם וְגִ֥ילוּ בָ֖הּ כָּל־אֹהֲבֶ֑יהָ שִׂ֤ישׂוּ אִתָּהּ֙ מָשׂ֔וֹשׂ כָּל־הַמִּֽתְאַבְּלִ֖ים עָלֶֽיהָ׃ (יא) לְמַ֤עַן תִּֽינְקוּ֙ וּשְׂבַעְתֶּ֔ם מִשֹּׁ֖ד תַּנְחֻמֶ֑יהָ לְמַ֧עַן תָּמֹ֛צּוּ וְהִתְעַנַּגְתֶּ֖ם מִזִּ֥יז כְּבוֹדָֽהּ׃ (ס) (יב) כִּֽי־כֹ֣ה ׀ אָמַ֣ר יי הִנְנִ֣י נֹטֶֽה־אֵ֠לֶיהָ כְּנָהָ֨ר שָׁל֜וֹם וּכְנַ֧חַל שׁוֹטֵ֛ף כְּב֥וֹד גּוֹיִ֖ם וִֽינַקְתֶּ֑ם עַל־צַד֙ תִּנָּשֵׂ֔אוּ וְעַל־בִּרְכַּ֖יִם תְּשָׁעֳשָֽׁעוּ׃ (יג) כְּאִ֕ישׁ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אִמּ֖וֹ תְּנַחֲמֶ֑נּוּ כֵּ֤ן אָֽנֹכִי֙ אֲנַ֣חֶמְכֶ֔ם וּבִירֽוּשָׁלִַ֖ם תְּנֻחָֽמוּ׃
(10) Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her, All you who love her! Join in her jubilation, All you who mourned over her— (11) That you may suck from her breast Consolation to the full, That you may draw from her bosom Glory to your delight. (12) For thus said the LORD: I will extend to her Prosperity like a stream, The wealth of nations Like a wadi in flood; And you shall drink of it. You shall be carried on shoulders And dandled upon knees. (13) As a mother comforts her son So I will comfort you; You shall find comfort in Jerusalem.
Par-tay! (One that's maybe even getting a little out of control, ifyouknowwhatImean). Floods might make us think of punches and pitcher drinks, especially since these are served on jubilant occasions.
(יד) וּרְאִיתֶם֙ וְשָׂ֣שׂ לִבְּכֶ֔ם וְעַצְמוֹתֵיכֶ֖ם כַּדֶּ֣שֶׁא תִפְרַ֑חְנָה וְנוֹדְעָ֤ה יַד־יי אֶת־עֲבָדָ֔יו וְזָעַ֖ם אֶת־אֹיְבָֽיו׃ (טו) כִּֽי־הִנֵּ֤ה יי בָּאֵ֣שׁ יָב֔וֹא וְכַסּוּפָ֖ה מַרְכְּבֹתָ֑יו לְהָשִׁ֤יב בְּחֵמָה֙ אַפּ֔וֹ וְגַעֲרָת֖וֹ בְּלַהֲבֵי־אֵֽשׁ׃ (טז) כִּ֤י בָאֵשׁ֙ יי נִשְׁפָּ֔ט וּבְחַרְבּ֖וֹ אֶת־כָּל־בָּשָׂ֑ר וְרַבּ֖וּ חַֽלְלֵ֥י יי׃
(14) You shall see and your heart shall rejoice, Your limbs shall flourish like grass. The power of the LORD shall be revealed In behalf of His servants; But He shall rage against His foes. (15) See, the LORD is coming with fire— His chariots are like a whirlwind— To vent His anger in fury, His rebuke in flaming fire. (16) For with fire will the LORD contend, With His sword, against all flesh; And many shall be the slain of the LORD.
Fire--and fire's relationship to anger, rage, or whatever we need to burn about that night--is a fun notion for Tippling Through The Torah to write and drink about. We'll pull out Fireball or cinnamon sticks, rim a drink with chili powder, shake with hot peppers or add a dash of hot sauce as we serve. (Probably we'll also complain in veiled--or, on our best days, biblical--terms about whatever's the latest South Side Drama.)
(יז) הַמִּתְקַדְּשִׁ֨ים וְהַמִּֽטַּהֲרִ֜ים אֶל־הַגַּנּ֗וֹת אַחַ֤ר אחד [אַחַת֙] בַּתָּ֔וֶךְ אֹֽכְלֵי֙ בְּשַׂ֣ר הַחֲזִ֔יר וְהַשֶּׁ֖קֶץ וְהָעַכְבָּ֑ר יַחְדָּ֥ו יָסֻ֖פוּ נְאֻם־יי׃ (יח) וְאָנֹכִ֗י מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם֙ וּמַחְשְׁבֹ֣תֵיהֶ֔ם בָּאָ֕ה לְקַבֵּ֥ץ אֶת־כָּל־הַגּוֹיִ֖ם וְהַלְּשֹׁנ֑וֹת וּבָ֖אוּ וְרָא֥וּ אֶת־כְּבוֹדִֽי׃ (יט) וְשַׂמְתִּ֨י בָהֶ֜ם א֗וֹת וְשִׁלַּחְתִּ֣י מֵהֶ֣ם ׀ פְּ֠לֵיטִים אֶֽל־הַגּוֹיִ֞ם תַּרְשִׁ֨ישׁ פּ֥וּל וְל֛וּד מֹ֥שְׁכֵי קֶ֖שֶׁת תֻּבַ֣ל וְיָוָ֑ן הָאִיִּ֣ים הָרְחֹקִ֗ים אֲשֶׁ֨ר לֹא־שָׁמְע֤וּ אֶת־שִׁמְעִי֙ וְלֹא־רָא֣וּ אֶת־כְּבוֹדִ֔י וְהִגִּ֥ידוּ אֶת־כְּבוֹדִ֖י בַּגּוֹיִֽם׃ (כ) וְהֵבִ֣יאוּ אֶת־כָּל־אֲחֵיכֶ֣ם מִכָּל־הַגּוֹיִ֣ם ׀ מִנְחָ֣ה ׀ לַֽיי בַּסּוּסִ֡ים וּ֠בָרֶכֶב וּבַצַּבִּ֨ים וּבַפְּרָדִ֜ים וּבַכִּרְכָּר֗וֹת עַ֣ל הַ֥ר קָדְשִׁ֛י יְרוּשָׁלִַ֖ם אָמַ֣ר יי כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר יָבִיאוּ֩ בְנֵ֨י יִשְׂרָאֵ֧ל אֶת־הַמִּנְחָ֛ה בִּכְלִ֥י טָה֖וֹר בֵּ֥ית יי׃
(17) Those who sanctify and purify themselves to enter the groves, imitating one in the center, eating the flesh of the swine, the reptile, and the mouse, shall one and all come to an end—declares the LORD. (18) For I [know] their deeds and purposes. [The time] has come to gather all the nations and tongues; they shall come and behold My glory. (19) I will set a sign among them, and send from them survivors to the nations: to Tarshish, Pul, and Lud—that draw the bow—to Tubal, Javan, and the distant coasts, that have never heard My fame nor beheld My glory. They shall declare My glory among these nations. (20) And out of all the nations, said the LORD, they shall bring all your brothers on horses, in chariots and drays, on mules and dromedaries, to Jerusalem My holy mountain as an offering to the LORD—just as the Israelites bring an offering in a pure vessel to the House of the LORD.
"Offerings in a pure vessel" might lead us to use a particularly charming (or, sardonically, particularly off-color) container for photographing our drinks. We might also look for canonical drink recipes that allude to swine (a "Pink Pig" sounds Rosh-Chodesh-girlie), rodents (a "Black Rat"?), or reptiles (my sentimental favorite is the "Sexy Alligators" served a a bar in Iowa City).
(כא) וְגַם־מֵהֶ֥ם אֶקַּ֛ח לַכֹּהֲנִ֥ים לַלְוִיִּ֖ם אָמַ֥ר יי׃ (כב) כִּ֣י כַאֲשֶׁ֣ר הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם הַ֠חֳדָשִׁים וְהָאָ֨רֶץ הַחֲדָשָׁ֜ה אֲשֶׁ֨ר אֲנִ֥י עֹשֶׂ֛ה עֹמְדִ֥ים לְפָנַ֖י נְאֻם־יי כֵּ֛ן יַעֲמֹ֥ד זַרְעֲכֶ֖ם וְשִׁמְכֶֽם׃ (כג) וְהָיָ֗ה מִֽדֵּי־חֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ בְּחָדְשׁ֔וֹ וּמִדֵּ֥י שַׁבָּ֖ת בְּשַׁבַּתּ֑וֹ יָב֧וֹא כָל־בָּשָׂ֛ר לְהִשְׁתַּחֲוֺ֥ת לְפָנַ֖י אָמַ֥ר יי׃ (כד) וְיָצְא֣וּ וְרָא֔וּ בְּפִגְרֵי֙ הָאֲנָשִׁ֔ים הַפֹּשְׁעִ֖ים בִּ֑י כִּ֣י תוֹלַעְתָּ֞ם לֹ֣א תָמ֗וּת וְאִשָּׁם֙ לֹ֣א תִכְבֶּ֔ה וְהָי֥וּ דֵרָא֖וֹן לְכָל־בָּשָֽׂר׃
(21) And from them likewise I will take some to be levitical priests, said the LORD. (22) For as the new heaven and the new earth Which I will make Shall endure by My will —declares the LORD— So shall your seed and your name endure. (23) And new moon after new moon, And sabbath after sabbath, All flesh shall come to worship Me —said the LORD. (24) They shall go out and gaze On the corpses of the men who rebelled against Me: Their worms shall not die, Nor their fire be quenched; They shall be a horror To all flesh.
And new moon after new moon, And sabbath after sabbath, All flesh shall come to worship Me —said the LORD.
And new moon after new moon, And sabbath after sabbath, All flesh shall come to worship Me —said the LORD.
"New moon after new moon" would become "Blue Moon after Blue Moon" for one of our members--and we might be tempted to gather as many moon-themed beers as we could and cheers.
We once used moon-themed beer for a Rosh-Chodesh beerlini (a beer-and-juice brunch drink), "Summer Moon":
"Fill a champagne flute 2/3 of the way with a moon-themed IPA like New Glarus’s “Moon Man,” well-chilled; top off with cold apricot nectar."
https://tipplingthroughthetorah.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/shabbat-rosh-chodesh-summer-moon-isaiah-661-6624/
Another Rosh Chodesh entry was "Dark Side of the Moon," a starlight-colored cocktail that let us use one of our favorite joke ingredient (blue curacao) and moon-shaped wheels of orange along with an indigo-colored violette liqueur we were obsessed with at the time.
"Shake 1.5 oz gin, .5 oz crème di violette, .5 oz orange liqueur with ice. Strain into a fancy glass and spritz with lime; garnish for an orange wheel (raw, candied, whatever) from the chariot of flame (66:15) that will make sense of all this darkness"
https://tipplingthroughthetorah.wordpress.com/2017/01/27/shabbat-rosh-chodesh-dark-side-of-the-moon-isaiah-661-24/
We once used moon-themed beer for a Rosh-Chodesh beerlini (a beer-and-juice brunch drink), "Summer Moon":
"Fill a champagne flute 2/3 of the way with a moon-themed IPA like New Glarus’s “Moon Man,” well-chilled; top off with cold apricot nectar."
https://tipplingthroughthetorah.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/shabbat-rosh-chodesh-summer-moon-isaiah-661-6624/
Another Rosh Chodesh entry was "Dark Side of the Moon," a starlight-colored cocktail that let us use one of our favorite joke ingredient (blue curacao) and moon-shaped wheels of orange along with an indigo-colored violette liqueur we were obsessed with at the time.
"Shake 1.5 oz gin, .5 oz crème di violette, .5 oz orange liqueur with ice. Strain into a fancy glass and spritz with lime; garnish for an orange wheel (raw, candied, whatever) from the chariot of flame (66:15) that will make sense of all this darkness"
https://tipplingthroughthetorah.wordpress.com/2017/01/27/shabbat-rosh-chodesh-dark-side-of-the-moon-isaiah-661-24/
www.sefaria.org/sheets/220580