If we look at Berakhot 5 as if G-d causes affliction to those G-d loves, as though G-d is teaching loved ones a lesson… it reads both abusive and ableist. Additionally, it calls to mind the cliche, “diamonds are made under pressure”— but things under pressure often crack!
If we look at the Daf with trauma-informed lens (specifically focusing on how trauma manifests and has an impact on a person or a society), I would ask:
What if the affliction and disease and terrible things G-d uses to cause suffering are aspects of generational and societal trauma?
What if this Daf instead looks at a society that has turned away from the teachings of the Torah, the kindness and meaning it intends, and instead challenges individuals to find a meaning, a G-d, or to face suffering of a kind. In giving the Torah and commandments and laws to the Jewish people, G-d hopes that the people will learn and love and do well. These are good things and G-d hopes that the people will enjoy the things in the Torah as much as G-d has.
While some bad things happen based upon our relative position to others or events in the world (car accidents, natural disasters, wars, etc.) and we get caught in the crossfire, sometimes we are part of the problem and are also able to be part of the solution. When a person suffers, there is both their experience and the bigger picture. It is not a person’s obligation to think their suffering is meaningless, but rather that by taking a step back from the situation they can understand their place within it.
When you realize that your personal trauma is causing you to behave in certain ways that lead you to create bad situations or ruin good relationships, you may seek the opportunity to grow, change, and reduce your negative impact on others and yourself.
Berakhot 5 says, those who “engage” in Torah study but do not fully engage with it are faking their piety, and do not see the Torah's potential depth. They do not (cannot?) process the principles and emotions of Judaism (or any other religion?) but choose to pass themselves off religiously nonetheless. In doing so, they can hurt others and create a pained society that creates further trauma. They can hurt their children, their loved ones, and ultimately themselves.
Why must we hurt those we love (to grow)? Can we grow without pain? Must we need trauma and pressure to grow? Many cannot/do not survive the process.
When you (for whatever reason) cannot study Torah or pray— what counts? If you do not have the physical capability… do you have the emotional or mental capability? Do you need it? Are you kind, do you perform mitzvot? Perhaps they are not the 613 laid out, but maybe they are your own kindnesses. Do you pray— do you speak to yourself, to your own version of G-d? Do you work to be your best self, understanding your limits and your autonomy? How can that not be Torah and prayer, even if it isn’t the way it looks to everyone.
By suffering— by learning through suffering we grow. When we are intentional about our growth and healing, that is when we do our best. When we strive to learn from our actions, we grow the most.