Here we have Ya'aqov and Esav reuniting after decades of separation, having spent their lives competing against each other and defining themselves as so different from the other. The last time they saw one another was when Ya'aqov bought Esav's Firstborn Birthright for a bowl of lentils, after which Ya'aqov usurped Esav's blessing from their father Yitz'chaq and then hightailed it back to Paddan-Aram, to his mother Riv'qah's family, about ten miles east of Damascus.
Ya'aqov was returning home from exile to Israel, and to mend his relationship with his only sibling. A sibling with whom he defined what he was not. What am I? I am not him. It took twenty years of being away from each other for the brothers to finally meet as who they were, instead of who they were not. An intense narrative which many of us share.
וַיָּרָץ עֵשָׂו לִקְרָאתוֹ וַיְחַבְּקֵהוּ, וַיִּפֹּל עַל-צַוָּארָו וַיִּשָּׁקֵהוּ; וַיִּבְכּוּ.
And Esav ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him; and they wept
The word וַיִּשָּׁקֵהוּ va-yishaqeyhu has six dots, one over each letter. Why?
What does this mean?
We are taught by several sources (Avot deRebbe Natan, Rav Hayim David HaLevi, among others) that where dots appear in our Holy writings that it means we are meant to either erase the word from the text altogether, or to apply its opposite meaning.
For example, perhaps the pasuq, the verse, is meant to read only, "And Esav ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck; and they wept", with no mention of a kiss.
Or, maybe this brotherly kiss was really something else? It is explained by the Rabbis that Esav did not sincerely kiss his brother Ya'aqov, rather he would have preferred to (Ba’al Ha-Turim; Avot deRebbe Natan 30b) give him a נְשִׁיכָה neshikhah, a bite - these two words have a similar sound. This was not a true reconciliation on Esav's part.
The root of the word "kiss", נִשֵּׁק, can also mean just to meet up with someone, or to get together casually (נָשַׁק). However, it can also mean "weapon", נֶשֶׁק, which is a word you'll be familiar with if you've ever entered an Israeli shopping mall, because the security guards with the metal detectors you have to pass through will search your bag and ask you if you have a nesheq, gun. It can also mean "to sting", like a scorpion.
Sibling rivalry is tough! Be-reyshit/Genesis 25:22-23 teaches us that these two boys had been fighting in utero! And now they embrace after so many years, and it stung them...
Alternatively, according to R' Shim'on ben Eleazar, this was the only time Esav was genuinely expressing his affection for his brother, and all other times it had been insincere.
So what do we do with this word? What do you think? (Soferet Avielah Barclay)
Ramban explains that Rabbinic tradition regarded the story of Esau's encounter with Jacob in our sidra as: "the chapter of exile” the archetypal pattern of Israel's Diaspora existence. When Rabbi Yannai had to go to Rome to treat with the Roman authorities the "kind of Edom,” he would take as his model, his ancestor Jacob's method of dealing with Esau. He therefore refused to accept the offer of the powers -that- be to provide him with an escort since, "they only befriend a man from their own purposes and confiscate his worldly goods.”
The historic parallel in our chapter is obvious: Jacob the puny one confronted by the mighty Esau, and attempting to placate him.
"AND ESAU RAN... AND HE EMBRACED HIM... AND HE KISSED HIM AND THEY WEPT': IS IT POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE ESAU’S KISS?
"And Esau ran to meet him... and kissed him": Do not read 'and he kissed him' (vayishakehu) but 'and he bit him' (vayinshachehu). (Pirkei Derabi Eliezer XXXVI).
"And he kissed him" - the word has dots above it. Should one suppose that this was a kiss of love? R. Shimon ben Elazar said: But were not all Esau's acts of hate at the beginning? - Except for this one, which was an act of love. (Avot Derabi Natan II)
The word "and they wept" is a sure sign that we have before us pure human emotion. A person may indeed kiss without his heart being in it, but we can rest on the assumption that the tears which burst forth at such moments come from the depths of the heart; this kiss and these tears show us that Esau too was a descendant of Abraham our father, and not just a savage hunter, for how else could he have attained the rank of a ruler in the development of mankind? The sword alone, mere physical force, do not make a person fit for such status. (From the commentary of R. Samson Raphael Hirsch on the Torah)
"And they wept" - Both of them wept. This teaches us that, at that moment, love for Esau stirred in Jacob too. And so it is down the generations: when the descendants of Esau are inspired by a pure spirit to recognize the descendants of Israel and their qualities, then we too are stimulated to recognize Esau, for he is our brother. Thus Rabbi Yehuda Hanassi truly loved the Emperor Antonius - and there are many more such examples.
(From the commentary "Haemek Davar" of R. Naphtali Zvi Yehuda Berlin, Hanatziv from Velozhin)
Said R. Shimon B. Eliezer: Wherever you find that the letters outnumber the vocal points, you expound the letters; where the points outnumber the letters, you expound the points. Here, the letters do not outnumber the points, nor the points the letters. This teaches that Esau's compassion was aroused at that moment and he kissed him with all his heart. Said R. Yannai to him: Why then is the word pointed above? But we must understand that he came not to kiss him (nashko) but to bite him (Noshkho) . Whereupon the Patriarch Jacob's neck turned to marble, setting that wicked man's teeth on edge. What then is the implication of the phrase: "And they wept.” This one wept on his neck and the other, on (account of) his teeth. (Bereshit Rabbah 78, 12)
Esau sought to bite him but his neck turned to marble. This is the reason for the points, indicating that his kiss was not a sincere one. Why did the both weep? To what may this be compared? To a wolf which came to snatch a ram. Whereupon the ram began butting it with his horns, the wolf's teeth becoming entangled in them. Both of them wept; the wolf on account of its impotence and the ram for fear its enemy might try again to kill him. So too here with Esau and Jacob. Esau wept because Jacob's neck had turned to marble and Jacob, for fear that Esau might return to bite him. Regarding Jacob we have the text: "Thy neck is a tower of marble” (Song of Songs 7, 5); regarding Esau: "Thou hast broken the teeth of the wicked” (Psalm 3, 8)
(Tanhuma Vayishlach 4)
"Thus say to my master, to Esav..." (32:5)
Yaakov calls Esav "my master" eight times in this week's Parsha. Because of this, Esav merited to have eight kings emerge from his descendants before any king emerged from Yaakov's descendants.