Gratitude A Thanksgiving Unit

Part 1 Gratitude the opposite of Entitlement:
What is the origin of the word Jew, Hebrew Yehudi?

וַתַּ֨הַר ע֜וֹד וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֗ן וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַפַּ֙עַם֙ אוֹדֶ֣ה אֶת־ה' עַל־כֵּ֛ן קָרְאָ֥ה שְׁמ֖וֹ יְהוּדָ֑ה וַֽתַּעֲמֹ֖ד מִלֶּֽדֶת׃

Genesis 29:35

She conceived again and bore a son, and declared, “This time I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.

ברכות ז׳ ב:ה׳

ואמר רבי יוחנן משום רבי שמעון בן יוחי מיום שברא הקדוש ברוך הוא את עולמו לא היה אדם שהודה להקדוש ברוך הוא עד שבאתה לאה והודתו שנאמר הפעם אודה את ה׳:

Berakhot 7b:5

And Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: From the day the Holy One, Blessed be He, created the world, no one thanked the Holy One, Blessed be He, until Leah came and thanked Him, as it is stated: “And she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and she said, ‘This time I will give thanks to God,’ and thus he was called Judah” (Genesis 29:35).

There was a tradition that Jacob was destined to have twelve sons, who would comprise the twelve tribes of Israel. Since Jacob had four wives it was assumed that each wife would be allocated three sons. When Leah gives birth to a fourth son, she is overwhelmed with a sense of thanksgiving. A Jew must always feel this same sense of gratitude - to not expect a gift is coming to them.

Part 2: Rabbi Yehudah Amital on Gratitude
Rabbeinu Bahya ibn Pekuda, in his Duties of the Heart, developed the notion that service of God is based on gratitude to Him. Rav Amital asked how gratitude can still serve as the basis of serving God after the Holocaust. Here is a quote from him describing his experiences at the end of the war.
On my first Yom Kippur after being liberated from a Nazi labor camp, I prayed with other survivors in a cramped cellar. I cannot fully describe the storm of emotion that I felt then, but I will try to reconstruct some of that feeling.
I was young then. I had no children. My parents had been murdered, along with most of the population of our town. Among the survivors in that small room, there were people who had lost their children, parents, spouses, and siblings. They prayed, and I with them. Was their worship of God based on gratitude? Can a Jew who has lost his wife and children possibly serve God on the basis of recognition of His kindness? Can a Jew whose job was the removal of the charred remains of corpses from the crematoria of Auschwitz be capable of serving God on the basis of gratitude? No, not in any way, shape, or form! But where, then, does that leave us?

Question: So how then do we worship God? Some people are driven by a deep faith that everything God does is ultimately for the best, and He truly loves us. Another idea is that we can generate gratitude even when there doesn't seem to be anything to feel grateful for. Gratitude is a decision we take. See the next source about Viktor Frankl.

An Attitude of Gratitude is a Myth
Dr. Rob Bell - from https://drrobbell.com/an-attitude-of-gratitude-is-a-myth/
Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor.
His immediate family died in the concentration camps, but he survived. He talks at length in the amazing book- Man’s Search for Meaning -about how he survived while others did not.
He concluded that we actually find meaning through our suffering. Frankl stated: “it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.”
It was through his suffering as a prisoner that he was obligated to find meaning, to focus on the smallest of gratitude, like a sunset, or a memory.
It was NOT his Attitude of Gratitude. It was his ACTION of Gratitude.

He would have a virtual conversation every morning with his wife even though he didn’t know if she was still alive.

Prisoners who were starving would give their last pieces of bread to another to help them survive.

His freedom came as a result of his refusal to give up hope, even though survival was thin.

His attitude of gratitude is a myth. It was a result of his action.
We need to take certain action steps to exercise our attitude muscle.
Some of us have a greater sense of thankfulness than others, just as some of us are faster or better-looking but, what matters is are we willing to take certain steps?
Here are six ways to exercise an action of gratitude:

Write out as gratitude list-

Once we start listing our blessings, it gets tough to stop. It is too easy to focus on where we lack, or where we come up short. Basically, all advertising focuses on telling you that you need this product in order to be happy. It’s not enough to think about our gratitude, we need to write them out.

Keep a Gratitude Jar-

On our dining room table, we have a jar that fills up with small pieces of paper from the week. We express our gratitude for someone in the house when they do something we are thankful for. We can be in poor moods to begin, but at the end, our outlook has changed. That’s why an attitude of gratitude is a myth.

Change the way you treat somebody-

Want to change the way you feel about somebody, change the way you treat them. This is difficult if you have anger or resentment toward someone, so start small, send a message, email, or ask them a different question.

Forget the weather-

We could have a cold, brutal winter and not after a month of warming up, people will start complaining about how it’s too hot.
Really?
A simple action step is to find the benefit in the weather, no matter the condition. I’ve trained my family that we are mudders. We LOVE the poor weather because we play better.

Pray and if that doesn’t work, Pray again-

There are three kinds of prayer, 1. God- Help Me! 2. God- Give Me! and 3. God- Use Me.
Prayer is an action. Pray as if God has already given you the gift that you want, give thanks for that, and ask God to help you help others. God, Thank you for the patience that you have given me so I can be a good father and husband.

Find The GOOD- see the next source from Rav Nachman of Breslov

Part 3: Rav Nachman of Breslov

ליקוטי מוהר"ן רפ״ב:א׳

(א) דַּע, כִּי צָרִיךְ לָדוּן אֶת כָּל אָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת, וַאֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁהוּא רָשָׁע גָּמוּר, צָרִיךְ לְחַפֵּשׂ וְלִמְצֹא בּוֹ אֵיזֶה מְעַט טוֹב, שֶׁבְּאוֹתוֹ הַמְּעַט אֵינוֹ רָשָׁע

(ג) וְעוֹד מְעַט וְאֵין רָשָׁע – שֶׁצָּרִיךְ אַתָּה לְבַקֵּשׁ בּוֹ עוֹד מְעַט טוֹב, שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ עֲדַיִן, שֶׁשָּׁם אֵינוֹ רָשָׁע, כִּי אַף־עַל־פִּי שֶׁהוּא רָשָׁע, אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁאֵין בּוֹ מְעַט טוֹב עֲדַיִן, כִּי אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁלֹּא עָשָׂה אֵיזֶה מִצְוָה אוֹ דָּבָר טוֹב מִיָּמָיו, וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה שֶׁאַתָּה מוֹצֵא בּוֹ עוֹד מְעַט טוֹב, שֶׁשָּׁם אֵינוֹ רָשָׁע, וְאַתָּה דָּן אוֹתוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה אַתָּה מַעֲלֶה אוֹתוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת מִכַּף חוֹבָה לְכַף זְכוּת, עַד שֶׁיָּשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה.

(ד) וְזֶהוּ: וְעוֹד מְעַט וְאֵין רָשָׁע – עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁמּוֹצֵא בְּהָרָשָׁע עוֹד מְעַט טוֹב, שֶׁשָּׁם אֵינוֹ רָשָׁע, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה:

(ה) וְהִתְבּוֹנַנְתָּ עַל מְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינֶנּוּ – הַיְנוּ כְּשֶׁתִּתְבּוֹנֵן וְתִסְתַּכֵּל עַל מְקוֹמוֹ וּמַדְרֵגָתוֹ, וְאֵינֶנּוּ שָׁם עַל מְקוֹמוֹ הָרִאשׁוֹן, כִּי עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁמּוֹצְאִין בּוֹ עוֹד מְעַט טוֹב, אֵיזֶה נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה, וְדָנִין אוֹתוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה מוֹצִיאִין אוֹתוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת מִכַּף חוֹבָה לְכַף זְכוּת.

Likutei Moharan 282:1

Free translation-summary: (1) Know, a person must judge everyone favorably (Avot 1:6). Even someone who is completely wicked, it is necessary to search and find in him or her some modicum (a little bit) of good; that in that little bit he is not wicked.

(3) It says in the verse: In yet a little bit the wicked man is not—You must seek the “yet a little bit” of good that he still has within him, because in that place he is not wicked. For although he is wicked, how is it possible that he does not still possess even a little bit of good? Is it possible that throughout his life he never once did some mitzvah or good deed? And by your finding in him yet a little bit of good wherein he is not wicked, and your judging him favorably, you genuinely elevate him from the scale of guilt to the scale of merit, until, as a result of this, he returns [to God] in repentance.

(4) Thus, this is “In yet a little bit the wicked man is not.” By finding in the wicked person “yet a little bit” of good, as a result:

(5) you will reflect upon his place and he will not be there—That is, when you contemplate and consider his place and level, he is no longer there in his original place. For by finding in him yet a little bit of good, some good point, and judging him favorably, we genuinely move him from the scale of guilt to the scale of merit.

ליקוטי מוהר"ן רפ״ב:ב׳

וְכֵן... צָרִיךְ לְחַפֵּשׂ וְלִמְצֹא בְּעַצְמוֹ אֵיזֶה מְעַט טוֹב, כִּי אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁלֹּא עָשָׂה מִיָּמָיו אֵיזֶה מִצְוָה אוֹ דָּבָר טוֹב, וְאַף שֶׁכְּשֶׁמַּתְחִיל לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בְּאוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר הַטּוֹב, הוּא רוֹאֶה שֶׁהוּא גַּם כֵּן מָלֵא פְּצָעִים וְאֵין בּוֹ מְתֹם, הַיְנוּ שֶׁרוֹאֶה שֶׁגַּם הַמִּצְוָה וְהַדָּבָר שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֶׁזָּכָה לַעֲשׂוֹת, הוּא גַּם כֵּן מָלֵא פְּנִיּוֹת וּמַחֲשָׁבוֹת זָרוֹת וּפְגָמִים הַרְבֵּה, עִם כָּל זֶה אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה בְּאוֹתָהּ הַמִּצְוָה וְהַדָּבָר שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה אֵיזֶה מְעַט טוֹב, כִּי עַל כָּל פָּנִים אֵיךְ שֶׁהוּא, עַל־כָּל־פָּנִים הָיָה אֵיזֶה נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה בְּהַמִּצְוָה וְהַדָּבָר טוֹב שֶׁעָשָׂה,

(ג) כִּי צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְחַפֵּשׂ וּלְבַקֵּשׁ לִמְצֹא בְּעַצְמוֹ אֵיזֶה מְעַט טוֹב, כְּדֵי לְהַחֲיוֹת אֶת עַצְמוֹ, וְלָבוֹא לִידֵי שִׂמְחָה כַּנַּ"ל, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה שֶׁמְּחַפֵּשׂ וּמוֹצֵא בְּעַצְמוֹ עֲדַיִן מְעַט טוֹב,

(ד) הַיְנוּ כְּמוֹ שֶׁצְּרִיכִין לָדוּן אֲחֵרִים לְכַף זְכוּת, אֲפִלּוּ אֶת הָרְשָׁעִים, וְלִמְצֹא בָּהֶם אֵיזֶה נְקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת, וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה מוֹצִיאִין אוֹתָם בֶּאֱמֶת מִכַּף חוֹבָה לְכַף זְכוּת, בִּבְחִינַת: וְעוֹד מְעַט וְכוּ' וְהִתְבּוֹנַנְתָּ וְכוּ' כַּנַּ"ל, כְּמוֹ כֵן הוּא אֵצֶל הָאָדָם בְּעַצְמוֹ, שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לָדוּן אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, וְלִמְצֹא בְּעַצְמוֹ אֵיזֶה נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה עֲדַיִן, כְּדֵי לְחַזֵּק אֶת עַצְמוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִפֹּל לְגַמְרֵי, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, רַק אַדְּרַבָּא יְחַיֶּה אֶת עַצְמוֹ, וִישַׂמַּח אֶת נַפְשׁוֹ בִּמְעַט הַטּוֹב שֶׁמּוֹצֵא בְּעַצְמוֹ, דְּהַיְנוּ מַה שֶּׁזָּכָה לַעֲשׂוֹת מִיָּמָיו אֵיזֶה מִצְוָה אוֹ אֵיזֶה דָּבָר טוֹב,

(ה) וּכְמוֹ כֵן צָרִיךְ לְחַפֵּשׂ עוֹד, לִמְצֹא בְּעַצְמוֹ עוֹד אֵיזֶה דָּבָר טוֹב, וְאַף שֶׁגַּם אוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר הַטּוֹב הוּא גַּם־כֵּן מְעֹרָב בִּפְסֹלֶת הַרְבֵּה, עִם כָּל זֶה יוֹצִיא מִשָּׁם גַּם־כֵּן אֵיזֶה נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה. וְכֵן יְחַפֵּשׂ וִילַקֵּט עוֹד הַנְּקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת,

(ח) כִּי זֶה יָדוּעַ שֶׁכְּשֶׁהָאָדָם נוֹפֵל בְּדַעְתּוֹ מֵחֲמַת גַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ וּמַעֲשָׂיו הָרָעִים, שֶׁרוֹאֶה שֶׁהוּא רָחוֹק מְאֹד מְאֹד מִן הַקְּדֻשָּׁה בֶּאֱמֶת, אֲזַי עַל־פִּי רֹב אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לְהִתְפַּלֵּל כְּלָל מֵחֲמַת זֶה, וְאֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לִפְתֹּחַ פִּיו כְּלָל, מֵחֲמַת גֹּדֶל הָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחוֹרָה וְהַכְּבֵדוּת שֶׁנּוֹפֵל עָלָיו, עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁרוֹאֶה גֹּדֶל עֹצֶם רִחוּקוֹ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ.

(ט) אֲבָל כְּשֶׁהוּא מְחַיֶּה אֶת עַצְמוֹ עַל־פִּי הָעֵצָה הַנַּ"ל

(יא) וְזֶה בְּחִינַת (תהילים קמ״ו:ב׳): אֲזַמְּרָה לֵאלֹקַי בְּעוֹדִי – בְּעוֹדִי דַּיְקָא, הַיְנוּ עַל יְדֵי בְּחִינַת הָעוֹד שֶׁלִּי, שֶׁאֲנִי מוֹצֵא בְּעַצְמִי בְּחִינַת: עוֹד מְעַט וְאֵין רָשָׁע כַּנַּ"ל, עַל יְדֵי אוֹתָהּ הַנְּקֻדָּה, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה אוּכַל לְזַמֵּר וּלְהוֹדוֹת לַה' כַּנַּ"ל.

(יב) וְזֶהוּ: אֲזַמְּרָה – אֲזַמְּרָה דַּיְקָא, הַיְנוּ זְמִירוֹת וְנִגּוּנִים שֶׁנַּעֲשִׂין עַל יְדֵי שֶׁמְּלַקֵּט הַנְּקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת כַּנַּ"ל:

Likutei Moharan 282:2

2. Likewise, a person must find [some good point] within himself. It is known that a person must take care to be happy always and to keep very far away from depression

(2) It may be that when he begins examining himself, he sees that he possesses no good whatsoever and is filled with sin, and that as a result the Evil One wants to push him into depression and sadness, God forbid. Even so, it is forbidden to fall on account of this. Rather, he must search until he finds in himself some little bit of good. For how is it possible that throughout his life he never once did some mitzvah or good deed? And even if when he begins examining this good thing he sees that it, too, is filled with flaws and contains no purity—i.e., he sees that the mitzvah or holy deed that he merited doing is itself comprised of impure motives, external thoughts and numerous faults—nevertheless, how is it possible that this mitzvah or holy deed contains not even a little bit of good? For in any case, despite this there must have been some good point in the mitzvah or good deed that he did.

(3) Thus, a person has to search and seek to find in himself some little bit of good in order to revive himself and to attain joy, as explained above.

(4) That is, just as has been explained above, that we must judge others favorably, even the wicked—the same applies with regard to oneself. A person has to judge himself favorably and find in himself some remaining good point, in order to give himself the strength to avoid falling completely, God forbid.

(5) Likewise, he must go on searching and gathering further good points.

Then, he is able to pray and sing and give praise to God.

(8) For it is known that when a person becomes depressed over his gross physicality and evil deeds, it generally makes him completely incapable of praying. He cannot even open his mouth at all, due to the magnitude of the depression, sadness and heaviness that come over him when he sees how exceedingly distant he is from God.

(9) However, if he revives himself by means of the aforementioned suggestion—and seeks until he finds some remaining good points in himself, and he brings himself vitality and joy through this, he is then able to pray, sing and give praise to God.

(11) This is the aspect of “I will sing to God b’odee (with the little I have left)” (Psalms 146:2). Specifically b’ODee—i.e., by means of my OD that I find in myself, the aspect of “In yet a little bit the wicked man is not,” as explained above. By means of this point I am able to sing and give praise to God, as explained above.

(12) And this is: I will sing—Specifically “I will sing”; i.e., the songs and melodies that are made by gathering the good points, as explained above.