Hebrew School Dropouts: Jewish Gossip or Jewish Schmoozing?

Yet, for all the high value it attaches to truthfulness, the Jewish tradition is sufficiently realistic to acknowledge that there are occasions when the telling of a “white lie” can be in order; for instance, where the intention is to promote peace and harmony ([Babylonian Talmud] Yevamot85b). The [Babylonian] Talmud (Bava Metzia 23b-24a) observes that a scholar will never tell a lie except in three instances of “tractate,” purya, and “hospitality.” The commentators explain “tractate” to mean that a modest scholar is allowed to declare that he is unfamiliar with a tractate of the Mishnah in order not to parade his learning. Rashi translates purya as “bed” and understands it to mean that if a scholar is asked intimate questions regarding his marital life he need not answer truthfully. The Tosafot [authorities of a certain later school, commenting on Rashi’s comments] find it hard to believe that such questions would be addressed to the scholar or anyone else and they understand purya to be connected with the festival of Purim. If the scholar is asked whether he was drunk on Purim, he is allowed to tell a lie about it. “Hospitality” is understood to mean that a man who has been treated generously by his host may decide not to tell the truth about his reception if he fears that as a result the host will be embarrassed by unwelcome guests.

--Dr. Louis Jacobs

The Jewish Religion: A Companion

schmooze:
1) Making ingratiating small talk – talk that is business oriented, designed to both provide and solicit personal information but avoids overt pitching. Most often an artifact of “networking.” It is more art than science but can be learned.
2) To get to know or suck up to someone for self benefit.
3) Being able to talk your way into any situation (or out of it), find out about any person, and know someone wherever you go.

A Chasidic tale vividly illustrates the danger of improper speech: A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, "Take a feather pillow, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds." The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, "Now, go and gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can recollect the feathers."