What Do you want to be called? Bubbie, Savtah, Grandma, Grammy?
Zaydie, Sabba, Grandpa, Poppy?
What do these names mean to you?
Summary
Jacob knows that he is going to die soon, so he calls Joseph to him and formally adopts Joseph’s sons Menasheh and Ephraim, saying that his descendants will bless their offspring to be like Ephraim and Menasheh. Jacob then gives blessings to all of his sons. Jacob dies and his children take him back to the land of Canaan to be buried in the Cave of Machpelah. Eventually Joseph dies after making his brothers promise to bury him in Israel when they finally leave Egypt.
WARM UP: this is the first interaction in the Torah between grandchildren and grandparents. Share with your partner a story of a grandparent of yours, that you either experienced or heard.
יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלֹקִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה.
יְשִׂימֵךְ אֱלֹקִים כְּשָׂרָה, רִבְקָה, רָחֵל וְלֵאָה.
Boys: May Elo-him make you as Efrayim and as Menashe.
Girls: May Elo-him make you as Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah.
THREE BIG MITZVOT OF BUBBIEHOOD (Dr. Jane Shapiro ELI Talks)
1. Tzimtzum - Kabbalistic concept of self contraction that God did to create and make space for the others to be themselves and grow "If I fill the world, what room is there for anyone else"
What was it like when you first saw your grandchild? Maternal impulses kick in and you
Naomi in the Torah - Daughter-in-law Ruth, Naomi became a nursemate to the baby.
yet... This is not your child... Your job is to step back a bit and support but not be the primary parent.
You don't need to have an opinion all the time, give them the space to figure it out with your love and support.
2. Zman Kadosh - Holy earmarked time - regular time set aside for time with Bubbie and Zaydie, love attention and presence for that child alone. Grandchildren also have to make this time a priority, focused and special (especially as they get older and busier) Like Shabbat - set aside productive labor so you can truly be present and the shechinah (like the grandma of the Jewish people) will be present
3. Bubbe Maiseh - Tell them stories of the people they never got to meet and times from the past that they never knew to teach wisdom and help them connect with previous generations. It creates an arc that spans beyond lifetimes to connect the generations.
Moses is the storyteller to the children of Israel - "Do you remember when you were at the mountain and you received the Torah etc..." Tell this to your children and their children. Yet they were not the ones who experienced the story, it was their parents. This is Moshe's bubbe maisah.
(11) All the people at the gate and the elders answered, “We are. May the LORD make the woman who is coming into your house like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built up the House of Israel! Prosper in Ephrathah and perpetuate your name in Bethlehem! (12) And may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah—through the offspring which the LORD will give you by this young woman.” (13) So Boaz married Ruth; she became his wife, and he cohabited with her. The LORD let her conceive, and she bore a son. (14) And the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the LORD, who has not withheld a redeemer from you today! May his name be perpetuated in Israel! (15) He will renew your life and sustain your old age; for he is born of your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons.” (16) Naomi took the child and held it to her bosom. She became its foster mother, (17) and the women neighbors gave him a name, saying, “A son is born to Naomi!” They named him Obed; he was the father of Jesse, father of David.
Sefat Emet Noah 1872
And the Holy Shabbat is like Noah’s ark, for on the weekly days everyone is taken up with the matters of this world and on the Holy Shabbat there is a space for the children of Israel to flee and to rest/find refuge and to sit in the shadow under the wings of the Shechinah. This is the spreading of the Sukkah of peace. Just as Noah was hidden in the ark this is the annullment of the root of the life force for all the destroyed world and he needed to receive a new life force from the source of life and that is the Holy Shabbat.
What are the indications of the relationship between these two children and their grandfather? Why do you think Yaakov chooses to tell this short story in front of his grandchildren?
Grandparents have a unique relationship with grandchildren because in most situations they do not deal with day-to-day responsibilities. Grandparents can be selective in what the focus of their time spent together will be. Grandchildren are often particularly receptive to these occasions since they are special and out of the ordinary. It is thus possible to share one’s knowledge and experiences and to relate personal views which can strengthen a child’s understanding of Jewish traditions.
Grandparents can help pass down, and create, Jewish experiences for their grandchildren. Focusing our impact takes planning and thought. When grandparents discuss Judaism, it should be natural and relaxed. One needn’t be a Jewish scholar to discuss the true meaning of Judaism as a way of life. It is appropriate for grandchildren to know that their grandparents continue to learn, to study and to grow.
As role models, we must take seriously the religious component of our own lives. We need to recognize that the goals we embrace in the religious education of our children ought to make us look seriously into our own beliefs. After all, we can’t tell our grandchildren about something we don’t do. In addition to synagogue attendance and home observance, there are many opportunities to do volunteer work and perform gemilut hasadim, acts of loving-kindness. In all our communities across North America, there are opportunities galore to continue to study Torah and Jewish texts with rabbis, scholars and knowledgeable Jews. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/jewish-grandparenting/