On Commitment
(א) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֖ה אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כְּכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־צִוָּ֥ה ה' אֶת־מֹשֶֽׁה׃ (פ) (ב) וַיְדַבֵּ֤ר מֹשֶׁה֙ אֶל־רָאשֵׁ֣י הַמַּטּ֔וֹת לִבְנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לֵאמֹ֑ר זֶ֣ה הַדָּבָ֔ר אֲשֶׁ֖ר צִוָּ֥ה ה'׃ (ג) אִישׁ֩ כִּֽי־יִדֹּ֨ר נֶ֜דֶר לַֽה' אֽוֹ־הִשָּׁ֤בַע שְׁבֻעָה֙ לֶאְסֹ֤ר אִסָּר֙ עַל־נַפְשׁ֔וֹ לֹ֥א יַחֵ֖ל דְּבָר֑וֹ כְּכָל־הַיֹּצֵ֥א מִפִּ֖יו יַעֲשֶֽׂה׃
A whole Masechet is devoted to the topic...
Clearly this is an important topic!
(טז) וַיִּיקַ֣ץ יַעֲקֹב֮ מִשְּׁנָתוֹ֒ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אָכֵן֙ יֵ֣שׁ ה' בַּמָּק֖וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה וְאָנֹכִ֖י לֹ֥א יָדָֽעְתִּי׃ (יז) וַיִּירָא֙ וַיֹּאמַ֔ר מַה־נּוֹרָ֖א הַמָּק֣וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה אֵ֣ין זֶ֗ה כִּ֚י אִם־בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹקִ֔ים וְזֶ֖ה שַׁ֥עַר הַשָּׁמָֽיִם׃ (יח) וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֨ם יַעֲקֹ֜ב בַּבֹּ֗קֶר וַיִּקַּ֤ח אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ אֲשֶׁר־שָׂ֣ם מְרַֽאֲשֹׁתָ֔יו וַיָּ֥שֶׂם אֹתָ֖הּ מַצֵּבָ֑ה וַיִּצֹ֥ק שֶׁ֖מֶן עַל־רֹאשָֽׁהּ׃ (יט) וַיִּקְרָ֛א אֶת־שֵֽׁם־הַמָּק֥וֹם הַה֖וּא בֵּֽית־אֵ֑ל וְאוּלָ֛ם ל֥וּז שֵׁם־הָעִ֖יר לָרִאשֹׁנָֽה׃ (כ) וַיִּדַּ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב נֶ֣דֶר לֵאמֹ֑ר אִם־יִהְיֶ֨ה אֱלֹקִ֜ים עִמָּדִ֗י וּשְׁמָרַ֙נִי֙ בַּדֶּ֤רֶךְ הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָנֹכִ֣י הוֹלֵ֔ךְ וְנָֽתַן־לִ֥י לֶ֛חֶם לֶאֱכֹ֖ל וּבֶ֥גֶד לִלְבֹּֽשׁ׃ (כא) וְשַׁבְתִּ֥י בְשָׁל֖וֹם אֶל־בֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑י וְהָיָ֧ה ה' לִ֖י לֵאלֹקִֽים׃ (כב) וְהָאֶ֣בֶן הַזֹּ֗את אֲשֶׁר־שַׂ֙מְתִּי֙ מַצֵּבָ֔ה יִהְיֶ֖ה בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹקִ֑ים וְכֹל֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּתֶּן־לִ֔י עַשֵּׂ֖ר אֲעַשְּׂרֶ֥נּוּ לָֽךְ׃
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back; always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would not otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in ones favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have dreamed would have come his way.
Throw your backpack over the Wall!
Victor Frankel
What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him".
Tal Shachar
People who have goals are more likely to succeed then people who do not. Having explicit objectives that are challenging and specific-with clear timeline and performance criteria-leads to better performance.
By committing ourselves to goals we create our reality rather then reacting to it.
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the oral tradition] from them. Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.
One study found that 95 percent of those who started a weight-loss program with friends completed the program, compared to a 76 percent completion rate for those who tackled the program alone. The friend group was also 42 percent more likely to maintain their weight loss.
Researchers at Kansas State University found that people who exercised with someone they thought was better than them increased their workout time and intensity by 200 percent.
The probability of completing a goal if:
- You have an idea or a goal: 10%
- You consciously decide you will do it: 25%
- You decide when you will do it: 40%
- You plan how you will do it: 50%
- You commit to someone you will do it: 65%
- You have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’ve committed to: 95%
1) Talk to Hashem
2) Learn Shulchan Aruch
3) Have "Sichas Chaveirim": I.e a talk about personal growth with a friend.
The Mussar Masters would create midst chavruttas and chaburot to hold each other accountable for personal growth.
Similarly, the Esh Kodesh writes similarly in his "Bnei Machshav a Tovah". He created groups who would meet together to encourage each other to yearn for holiness...
Pick an accountability partner: Someone who you trust. Someone who you can be real with. Someone who will push you hard-but in the right way...
Make a list of possible commitments:
Choose 1:
Break your goals down very specifically.
What specific action will you be doing and when?
How to choose the right goals?
1st identify those things you can do. Out of those, select the ones you want to do.. Then reduce your choice further by zooming in on what you really want to do. Finally select those things that you really really want to do- and then do them.