On Lag B'omer, we commemorate two things. We remember that the talmidim of Rebbi Akiva stopped dying, and that it's the Yahrtzeit of Rashbi, Rav Shimon Bar Yochai. By learning from both of these, I think we can really gain something from the message of Lag Bomer
The Gemara in Yevamos tells us that the Talmidim of R' Akiva died שלא נהגו כבוד זה לזה- they didn't honor each other. They each felt that the rest of the students should be honoring them, instead of the other way round.
We know that Sefira is the time when we are meant to be working on ourselves, and developing our middos and character. I'd like to suggest that they way we can learn from the deaths of the talmidim is to work on getting rid of gaivah, of arrogance. I found a quote where R' Shimon Bar Yochai compares arrogance to worshipping avodah zara. Seriously! one of the three cardinal sins! That's because in Sefira, we are supposed to learn how to live outside of ourselves, live for others. To understand that we are not better than anyone else, that we cannot judge anyone else, and that we need to love everyone else. In fact. R' Chaim Volozhiner says that we were only created to help others! I want to further prove my point with a story.
Under the Roman rule, Rav Shimon Bar yochai was forced to go into hiding after he was sentenced to death for speaking out against the Romans. He and his son ended up hiding in a cave for twelve years. When Rashbi came out of the cave, he saw Jewish farmers working the land, and was so bothered by the fact that they weren't learning, and were using their time to do physical work, that when he expressed his displeasure to his son, the whole field went up in smoke! a Bas Kol came down and sent them back to the cave. When they came out after a year, they saw a farmer once more, this time carrying two bundles of myrtle. it was a friday afternoon, and they asked the farmer what he was doing with the plants. He told them, "It's to decorate my house for Shabbos Kodesh!" when they asked him why he had two, he replied, "One for Shamor, and one for Zachor." This time, R' Shimon turned to his son, admiring how much love even famers had for Torah.
I think that the message of Lag B'omer lies within this story of Rashbi and the deaths of R' Akiva's talmidim. The message is to care for others as much, if not more than we care for ourselves, as we all know that was one of Rabbi Akiva's big things. To understand, like Rabbi Shimon had to do, that sometimes we don't understand what people are doing but that doesn't make it any less right. I'll use a mashal from my rebbi in school- life is a twenty lane highway, and every lane leads to the same exit. There are so many different approaches to Yiddishkeit, and the goal is to understand that being in a different lane doesn't make any of us more worthy of honor than another- we're all worthy of kavod and love, because at least we are all on the same highway.
I want to leave you with one last piece of food for thought that occurred to me last night. Tomorrow is Lamed Gimmel b'omer, 33 days of the Omer. In hebrew, the way you tell someone to pay attention to something is "Sim Lev". The Gematria of Lev is 32, and ultimately the message of not just Lag Bomer but also the entire sefira, is Sim Lev + 1. Pay attention to your fellow Jew, but do one more thing, go one extra mile to take care of him. Honor him, as the students of Rebbi Akiva didn't do to each other. Learn from Rashbi, and his ability to shift his perspective to be understanding of his fellow Jew. We're in the final stretch, counting down until we get the Torah. Chazal tell us Derech Eretz Kadma L'Torah- by learning the true message of Sefira and Lag B'omer, hopefully we'll be ready to personally recieve the Torah in just a few short weeks.
The learning that happens because of this sheet should be a zechus for the neshama of Rivka Brein bas HaChaver R' Eliezer on her yahrtzeit.