פרשת אחרי מות - קדושים תשכ"א - לא תקום ולא תטור

לא תקם THOU SHALT NOT AVENGE — If one says to another “Lend me your sickle", and he replies, “No!", and the next day he (the latter) says to him (the former), “Lend me your hatchet”, and he retorts, “I am not going to lend it to you, just as you refused to lend me your sickle״ — this is avenging. And what is “bearing a grudge”? If one says to another, “Lend me your hatchet”, and he replies “No!” and on the next day he says to him “Lend me your sickle”, and he replies: “Here it is; I am not like you, because you would not lend me” — this is called “bearing a grudge (נטירה)” because he retains (נוטר) enmity in his heart although he does not actually avenge himself (Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 4 10-11; Yoma 23a).

Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart; thou shalt surely rebuke thy neighbour, and not bear sin because of him.

You shall not hate your brother in your heart: Since it is the way of haters to hide their hatred in their hearts, as it stated (Proverbs 26:24), "A hater makes his lips foreign," the verse mentioned what is common. And [then] it stated, "you shall surely rebuke your kinsman," [as] a separate commandment to teach him ethical reproofs. And "and you shall not carry sin for him" [is] that there will be guilt upon you if he sins and you had not reproved him. And the language of Onkelos inclines to this [understanding], as he says, "that you not receive liability for what is his" - that you do not receive punishment for his sin. And afterwards (Leviticus 19:18), it commanded that you love him. And behold, one who hates his neighbor transgresses a negative commandment and one who loves him, fulfills a positive commandment. And what is correct in my eyes is that "you shall surely rebuke your kinsman," is like "And Avraham rebuked Avimelekh" (Genesis 21:25). And the verse states, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart" in his doing to you that which is not like your will; but rather, rebuke him [by saying], "Why did you do like this to me." [Hence the meaning of] "And you shall not carry sin for him" [is] to cover up your hatred for him in your heart and not to tell him. As in your rebuking him, he will make amends with you or repent and admit his sin, and it will be atoned for him. And afterwards it warns that you not take revenge from him and not bear a grudge in your heart [about] what he did to you. As it is likely that he will not hate him but he will remember the sin in his heart. And therefore it warns him that he erase the crime and sin of his brother from his heart. And afterwards it commands him, "and you shall love your neighbor as yourself." The phrase "love your neighbor as yourself" is an exaggeration, since the heart of a person will not accept that he love his fellow as he loves himself. Moreover, Rabbi Akiva has already taught (Bava Metzia 62), "Your life comes before the life of your fellow." Rather, the Torah here enjoins us that one should love his neighbor with every item with which he loves himself, [to receive] every benefit [that he wish upon himself]. It is likely that this is the reason for the dative (literally, "to your neighbor") instead of the accusative form of the verb phrase; we find the same in "and you shall love to him as yourself" (Leviticus 19:34) regarding the convert - the understanding of which is to equalize the love of both of them in his mind. As sometimes a person may wish upon his neighbor certain benefits, but only wealth, not wisdom and the like. But even if he wishes his cherished friend well in everything, i.e. wealth, honor, knowledge, and wisdom, he will not make him equal to him, but rather he will still desire in his heart a larger share of all the benefits. And [so] the Torah commanded that there not be this petty jealousy in his heart. Rather, a man should wish his fellow well in everything, just as he does in his own case, and place no limitations on his love. Therefore, in the case of Yonatan and David (I Samuel 20:17), it stated that Yonatan "loved him as his own soul," since he had removed all jealousy from his heart, and stated "and you shall rule over Israel, etc." (I Samuel 23:17). And our Rabbis have already explained the matter of vengeance and grudges (Sifra, Kedoshim Chapter 4 10-11), that it is with something that has no monetary liability [such as if he says], "Lend me your sickle, lend me your spade." As with something that his fellow has a monetary liability to him, such as with damages and similar to it, he is not obligated to leave him alone. Rather, he should make a claim against him in court and be paid by him, from the verse (Leviticus 24:19), "as he has done, so shall it be done to him." And when he pays that which he borrowed or which he stole, he himself is obligated to pay [it]. And all the more so with the matter of souls, that he take vengeance and a grudge through a court that instructs with the laws of the Torah, until he redeems the blood of his brother from his hand.

לא תקום, Rashi explains this by providing us with a parable: if someone had asked a neighbour to lend him his scythe, and had been refused, and on the day after that refusenik asked him to lend him his spade to dig with, the second person not only refusing but adding as a reason that he was refused the loan of the first person’s scythe, this is an example of revenge, i.e. לא תקום. What then is the meaning of לא תטור, “do not bear a grudge?” Answer: if the second person does lend his spade to the one who had refused him his scythe, but he added when giving him his spade: “I am not like you who refused me his scythe just yesterday.” The second person still feels vengeful even though he did not act vengefully. If you were to ask why it is that the Torah did not specifically forbid the first person to refuse to lend the second person his scythe, but referred with obvious displeasure to the second person who did lend his tool as having committed a violation of a commandment? Surely the Torah should have criticized the first person for being so miserly as not to lend his tool to his neighbour?We must give the first person the benefit of the doubt for refusing to lend his tool because he may have been afraid that his neighbour would treat his scythe, which he treasured greatly, carelessly, and that would explain his refusal. The Torah does not command us to lend our tools against our better judgment as to whom we entrust it. On the other hand, the second person made it clear that he bore the first person ill will for his refusal and he wanted to impress him as being a better person than his neighbour. Therefore the Torah commanded us to allow our goodwill towards our neighbor to outweigh our disappointment over his having refused us without giving an adequate explanation which would have been acceptable and which would have avoided any ill feeling between these two people. By practicing this kind of goodwill we would have contributed to making this a more peaceful world.

He who takes vengeance of his fellow violates the prohibitive commandment of, "Thou shalt not take vengeance" (Lev. 19.18.); and, even though he is not flogged for the violation, it is an extremely evil tendency. Forsooth, it becomes man to be indulgent in his ethical conduct in all temporal matters, for, to those who can reason all worldly matters are vanity and absurdity, unworthy to call forth vengeance on their account. How is the sin of taking vengeance established? Said his friend to him: "Lend me your ax". Answered he: "No, I will not lend it to you." On the morrow, he needs to borrow an ax himself. Says he to his friend: "Lend me your ax." Answered his friend: "No, I will not lend it to you, even as you refused to lend it to me when I asked for it." Behold, this one takes vengeance. For when one comes to lend aught of the other, he should give it to him whole-heartedly, and not to deal with him as he was dealt with by him. And so in all like matters. Even so David expressed it in his good ethical ideas: "If I have requited him that did evil unto me, or spoiled mine adversary unto emptiness etc." (Ps. 7.5).⁹Yoma, 23a; Rosh ha-Shanah, 17b; Sifra, Lev. 4. C. G.