פרשת חיי שרה תש"ל - סיפור אליעזר

S.v. But rather go to my land and to my birthplace: And it is likely that Abraham did not say that he should go to [Abraham's] family, but just to the city in which he was born. And he should take a wife from there [for Issac], even if she is not from his family, as long as she is from that city. And hence he said that the maiden in whom he will see the generosity to toil and water his camels, is fit to get married to the son of Abraham. And it would certainly find favor in the eyes of the maiden and her father to marry into [the family of] Abraham. So there was no divination. It was only because Eliezer wanted to substantiate it for [Rebecca's family], that it was a sure decree and providence, [that] he said that Abraham commanded him to take [a wife] from his family and from the house of his father... And hence he also changed this, [to say] that he did not give her the bracelets until he asked, "Whose daughter are you?" As since, according to his words [here], the command from Abraham was only about his family, who would know if she was from his family [without asking her]? But in truth, Abraham only commanded him about the city in which he was born. And hence he gave [the bracelets] before he asked, "Whose daughter are you?" As whoever she was, she should marry the son of Abraham... And according to this, he did not divine what he said to them, to divine that she was from Abraham's family – like he had said before this, that he was also commanded about this by Abraham.

"So let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say"

The Sages taught: The enchanter mentioned in the verse (Deuteronomy 18:10) is one who relies on superstitious signs, e.g., one who says: If one’s bread fell from his mouth, that is a bad sign for him; or: If one’s staff fell from his hand, it is a bad sign; or: If one’s son calls him from behind, it is a sign that he should return from his journey; or: If a raven calls to him, or if a deer blocks him on the way, or if a snake is to his right, or if a fox is to his left, all of these are bad signs. An enchanter is one who relies on these as bad signs and consequently changes his course of action. The term is also referring to one who says to a collector of charity: Do not collect from me first, as that is a bad sign for me; or: Do not collect from me now because it is morning, and it is a bad sign to begin the day with a loss; or: Do not collect from me now because it is the New Moon, and it is a bad sign to begin the month with a loss

But doesn’t Rav say that any divination that is not like the divination of Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, when he went to seek a bride for Isaac (see Genesis 24:14), or like the divination of Jonathan, son of Saul, who sought an omen as to whether he and his arms bearer would defeat the Philistines (see I Samuel 14:8–12), is not divination?

(in the name of Rabbeinu Nissim)¹:

And nevertheless the matter needs a solution, as it is impossible that these righteous ones would be divining. And so it appears to me that the divining that the Torah forbade is when one makes his actions depend upon a sign that logic does not suggest will cause benefit or injury to the thing, such as "bread fell from his mouth," or "a deer blocks him on the way." As these [signs] and those similar to them are from the 'ways of the Amorite.' But if one accepts signs that logically indicate a benefit to the thing or its injury; this is not divining. For all business of the world is like that. As behold, the one who says, "If it rains, I will not go out on the road; but if not, I will go out," is not [practicing] divination. Rather it is the way of the world. And Eliezer and Jonathan were making their actions dependent on things similar to this... And when the Gemara cites [them] regarding the prohibition, this is what it is saying: Any divination of the things the Torah forbids, that logically has no impact – anyone who does not rely upon them like these two relied upon something that was permissible, is not [practicing] divination, and it is not forbidden...

"let the same be she that Thou hast appointed for Thy servant, even for Isaac"

אתה הכחת HER THOU HAST APPOINTED — She is fit for him since she will be charitable and will therefore be worthy of admission into the house of Abraham. The word הכחת means selected.

S.v. She is the one you have appointed: (After citing Rashi's explanation above:) This topic is juxtaposed with the topic of Ephron the Chiti, because he too was from the family of Cana'an, and Ephron was begrudging of eye and therefore he [God] commanded to stay far from the Cana'anim, for they were begrudging [lit. evil of eye], because money will answer and testify to all, and every person is recognized through his pocket, if his actions are pure and straight, and there is no better test or "crucible" for a person than gold and silver. And thus said Shlomo (Mishlei 17:3) "A crucible for silver and a furnace for gold..." because one who wishes to test a person will go to the money and see what his nature is. For if he will remain in his righteousness in the business of money, then in every insight it will be revealed that he is complete [honest], and vice versa. And from here Eliezer learned that he didn't need to check Rivkah except with this trait--if she is generous [lit. has a good eye] and does kindness, and there he said "I will not demand from her anything but that she give me to drink, and if she responds, 'drink, and I will also give your camels to drink' then certainly she is a doer of kindness, that she will give me more than what I ask, and if so she You have proven for Your servant, for Yitzchak, for his entire household is garbed in salvation for other creatures"... And the Sages, may their memory be blessed, said, "Any bride whose eyes are beautiful does not require examination of her whole body." But this is something that the senses contradict; as how many ugly women are there in the world who have beautiful eyes? And there is another difficulty: Why did the Sages, may their memory be blessed, see fit to give advice to ascertain this external beauty - is it not that 'charm is false and beauty is vanity?' Rather it is certain that they gave advice to ascertain her deeds. And this is the advice that was advised: That he check if she has a kind eye and bestows acts of loving-kindness. For if her eyes are kind to the creatures, then she is, without a doubt, perfect in all of her character traits.

"and inquire at her mouth."

And when they arose in the morning, the servant said to them that they should send him away to his master and give him Rebecca, and he would take her to Issac. And behold, Bethuel did not refuse this, but her brother and her mother – from their imaginary great love that they had for her – said that it was fit that the maiden should dwell with them a year or ten months, to fill her eyes with seeing the people of her father's house and her family and then leave. Indeed, they said this because she was going to a very faraway land, and it would not be likely that she would return to see the household of her father. So the servant besought them, that they not delay him from returning to his master... And when they saw this, they said that they would ask the maiden if she would agree to go with him. And when they asked her, she said that she would already go with him and that the separation would not be difficult in her eyes.

...Behold Laban placed his eyes on money, as he saw that for a little water, he gave a nose-ring and bracelets. And all the more so after they fed him, his men and his camels, would he then give a nice sum to the bride's relatives. And so he blustered to show the goodness of their hearts, by saying, "Here is Rebecca in front of you; take her and go." Yet [the servant] foiled their plan and brought out vessels of silver and vessels of gold, but gave them to Rebecca –since they would stay with her in the house of her [new] husband. What he gave to her brother and her mother, however, was only cakes. And when they saw that they waited falsely, their dance turned into mourning. And so they reversed [their way] towards him, and vented their anger by saying, "Let the girl abide...," to vex him and to correct that which he had spoiled with the money. And they also did not say, "Afterwards, you shall take her," but rather, "Afterwards, she will go" – meaning, "but not with you." Then he answered, "Do not [think] that it is I that you are scaring, but rather it is the Lord that you are angering; as He is the one that is doing all that I do and makes me successful – so it is Him that you are opposing." And this is [the meaning of] his saying, "Do not delay me, since the Lord has given success to my journey." Then in order to remove the blame from themselves, they said, "Let us call the girl and inquire at her mouth." And in order to put into her heart that she should decline, they spoke to her in a questioning way, "Will you go?" [...] And also "with this man" - as he is a servant and lacking honor? And in spite of all this, "she said, 'I will go.'"

ונשאלה את פיה AND ASK HER MOUTH — From this we may infer that a woman should not be given in marriage except with her own consent (Genesis Rabbah 60:12).

But did they not already say, "Here is Rebecca in front of you; take her and go."