Where is Moshe? on dealing with anger

The Sages taught in a baraita: A person should always be patient like Hillel and not impatient like Shammai. The Gemara related: There was an incidentinvolving two peoplewho wagered with each other and said: Anyone who will go and aggravate Hillel to the point that he reprimands him, will take four-hundred zuz. One of them said: I will aggravate him. That day that he chose to bother Hillel was Shabbat eve, and Hillel was washing the hair on his head. He went and passed the entrance to Hillel’s house and in a demeaning manner said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Hillel wrapped himself in a dignified garment and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. Hillel said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked him: Why are the heads of Babylonians oval? He was alluding to and attempting to insult Hillel, who was Babylonian. He said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they do not have clever midwives. They do not know how to shape the child’s head at birth. That man went and waited one hour, a short while, returned to look for Hillel, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, Hillel wrapped himself and went out to greet him. Hillel said to him: My son, what do you seek? The man said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why are the eyes of the residents of Tadmor bleary [terutot]? Hillel said to him: My son, you have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live among the sands and the sand gets into their eyes. Once again the man went, waited one hour, returned, and said: Who here is Hillel, who here is Hillel? Again, he, Hillel, wrapped himself and went out to greet him. He said to him: My son, what do you seek? He said to him: I have a question to ask. He said to him: Ask, my son, ask. The man asked: Why do Africans have wide feet? Hillel said to him: You have asked a significant question. The reason is because they live in marshlands and their feet widened to enable them to walk through those swampy areas. That man said to him: I have many more questions to ask, but I am afraid lest you get angry. Hillel wrapped himself and sat before him, and he said to him: All of the questions that you have to ask, ask them. The man got angry and said to him: Are you Hillel whom they call the Nasi of Israel? He said to him: Yes. He said to him: If it is you, then may there not be many like you in Israel. Hillel said to him: My son, for what reason do you say this? The man said to him: Because I lost four hundred zuz because of you. Hillel said to him: Be vigilant of your spirit and avoid situations of this sort. Hillel is worthy of having you lose four hundred zuz and another four hundred zuz on his account, and Hillel will not get upset.

(3) And, yet, there are certain tendencies which man is forbidden to follow in the middle-way, but must distance himself from extreme to extreme....

So is anger an extremely evil tendency and it is proper for man to remove himself from it to the other extreme. One should teach himself not to get angry, even over a matter which befits anger. If one desires to engender awe in his children and his household, or in the public, if he be at the head of a community, even if he desire to get angry at them so as to bring them back to the good way, he should only act angry in their presence so as to reprove them, but his disposition must remain calm within himself, even as a man imitates, who is angry when the time calls forth anger but in reality he is not angry. The sages of yore said: "He who yields to anger is as if he worshiped idolatry".¹See Nedarim, 22b. G. They also said: "Whosoever yields to anger, if he be a wise man his wisdom leaves him, and if he be a prophet his prophecy leaves him."²Pesahim, 66b. C. Verily the life of irritable persons is no life.³Pesahim, 113a. C. They have, therefore, commanded to be afar from anger, so that one will train himself not to mind even the things which do cause irritation, for such is the good way. The conduct of the just is to take insults but not give insults, hear themselves flouted but make no reply, do their duty as a work of love, and bear affliction cheerfully. Concerning them the Verse says: "But may those that love Him be as the rising of the sun in his might" (Judg. 5.31).

(118) On anger, our sages of blessed memory said (Shab.105b, Zohar 3:179): "anyone who becomes angry should be regarded in your eyes as one who worships idols".

(136) ANGER: Let us now discuss anger. There is an anger-prone person about which our sages said: "whoever gets angry is as if he worships idols" (Zohar Korach daf 179, Rambam Deos 2:3, Shab.105b). This person gets angry on anything that is done against his will. He becomes filled with wrath till his heart is no longer with him and his judgment is lost.

(137) A man like this would suffice to destroy the whole world if he had the ability. For the intellect does not rule over him in the least. He has literally lost his reason just like all the predatory beasts. On him it is written: "you who tears his soul in his anger; shall the earth become forsaken because of you?" (Job 18:4). Certainly, he can easily transgress any sort of sin in the world to which his rage leads him, for he has no other power moving him other than his anger and will go wherever it takes him.

(138) There is another angry type far from this. This person's wrath is not kindled for every thing, small or big, which does not happen according to his will. But when his threshold of anger is reached, he will erupt in great fury. This is what our sages, of blessed memory, said: "difficult to anger and difficult to appease" (Avot 5:11). This type is also certainly very evil, for great damage may happen through him during his [eruption] of anger, and he will no longer be able to straighten what he has made crooked.

(139) There is another angry type less severe than the previous. He does not come to anger easily, and even if his anger is triggered, it will only be a small anger and he will not stray out of the ways of reason. But he still harbors his angry feeling. This man is less likely to cause harm than the previous types but nevertheless he certainly has not reached Cleanliness, for even Watchfulness he has not yet reached since as long as anger marks an impression over him, he has not gone out of the category of "a person of anger".

(140) There is another type even less than this. This person is difficult to anger and his anger does not damage and destroy. Rather, it is a small anger. How long does his anger last? It lasts only an instant and not more. From the time his anger's natural stirring is roused till the time his understanding rises up against it. This is what our sages, of blessed memory, referred to saying: "difficult to anger and easy to appease". Behold, certainly this is a good portion, for it is human nature to be roused to anger and if one overpowers it so that even at the moment of anger itself, it will not ignite much and he overcomes it so that even this small amount of anger does not linger within him for a long time, rather it quickly passes and goes away - he is certainly worthy of praise.

(141) Our sages of blessed memory said (Chullin 89a):" 'who hangs the earth on nothing (belima)' (Iyov 26:7) - [the earth endures on the merit of] one who restrains (bolem) his mouth during a dispute". Namely, his nature has roused him to anger and through strengthening himself over it, he restrains his tongue.

(142) The level of Hillel the Elder, however, was above all of these for he was not upset for anything whatsoever and not even a stirring of anger roused within him. This is certainly one who is absolutely Clean of anger.

(143) Our sages of blessed memory warned us to not get angry even for the sake of a mitzva (see Shab.34a, 105b), not even a teacher with his student or a father with his son. This is not to say he should not chastise them, rather he should surely chastise them, just not out of anger, but rather, with no other purpose than guiding them along the right path. Any anger that he shows to them should be only of the face not anger of the heart. Shlomo said: "Be not quick in your spirit to be angry [for anger rests in the heart of fools]" (Kohelet 7:9) and it is written "For anger slays the fool" (Iyov 5:2), and our sages of blessed memory said: "in three ways a man is recognized: through his cup, through his wallet and through his anger" (Eruvin 65b).