(29) Once when Jacob was cooking a stew, Esau came in from the open, famished. (Note: the Hebrew says ah-yef, which means tired/exhausted.) (30) And Esau said to Jacob, “Give me some of that red stuff to gulp down, for I am famished”—which is why he was named Edom. (31) Jacob said, “First sell me your birthright.” (32) And Esau said, “I am at the point of death, so of what use is my birthright to me?” (33) But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. (34) Jacob then gave Esau bread and lentil stew; he ate and drank, and he rose and went away. Thus did Esau spurn the birthright.
Exhaustion Effect: We will make bad decisions that can have lasting impact.
Opportunity Knocks: The Priceless Pause.
(16) as Barak pursued the chariots and the soldiers as far as Harosheth-goiim. All of Sisera’s soldiers fell by the sword; not a man was left. (17) Sisera, meanwhile, had fled on foot to the tent of Jael, wife of Heber the Kenite; for there was friendship between King Jabin of Hazor and the family of Heber the Kenite. (18) Jael came out to greet Sisera and said to him, “Come in, my lord, come in here, do not be afraid.” So he entered her tent, and she covered him with a blanket. (19) He said to her, “Please let me have some water; I am thirsty.” She opened a skin of milk and gave him some to drink; and she covered him again. (20) He said to her, “Stand at the entrance of the tent. If anybody comes and asks you if there is anybody here, say ‘No.’” (21) Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent pin and grasped the mallet. When he was fast asleep from exhaustion, she approached him stealthily and drove the pin through his temple till it went down to the ground. Thus he died.
Exhaustion Effect: Death. (Or at least vulnerable to attack)
Opportunity Knocks: Challenge the notion that success requires hard work and hard work = sacrificing sleep and health.
Midrash Bonus!! According to the Gemara (Nazir 23b), Yael slept with Sisera seven times to completely exhaust him before she killed him. Despite traditional gender norms, this act of forbidden intercourse does not stain her reputation. Rather, it is considered to be for "the sake of heaven" and so she is praised and celebrated for her strength and virtue.
When do you justify your actions which lead to exhaustion by telling yourself "it's for the sake of heaven"? (i.e. I'm the hero; it all depends on me.)
וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ, כְּשֶׁהָיָה משֶׁה רַבֵּינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם רוֹעֶה צֹאנוֹ שֶׁל יִתְרוֹ בַּמִּדְבָּר, בָּרַח מִמֶּנּוּ גְּדִי, וְרָץ אַחֲרָיו עַד שֶׁהִגִּיעַ לַחֲסִית, כֵּיוָן שֶׁהִגִּיעַ לַחֲסִית, נִזְדַּמְּנָה לוֹ בְּרֵכָה שֶׁל מַיִם, וְעָמַד הַגְּדִי לִשְׁתּוֹת, כֵּיוָן שֶׁהִגִּיעַ משֶׁה אֶצְלוֹ, אָמַר אֲנִי לֹא הָיִיתִי יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁרָץ הָיִיתָ מִפְּנֵי צָמָא, עָיֵף אַתָּה, הִרְכִּיבוֹ עַל כְּתֵפוֹ וְהָיָה מְהַלֵּךְ. אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, יֵשׁ לְךָ רַחֲמִים לִנְהֹג צֹאנוֹ שֶׁל בָּשָׂר וָדָם כָּךְ חַיֶּיךָ אַתָּה תִרְעֶה צֹאנִי יִשְׂרָאֵל, הֱוֵי: וּמשֶׁה הָיָה רוֹעֶה.
(2) ... Our teachers have said: Once, while Moses our Teacher was tending [his father-in-law] Yitro’s sheep, one of the sheep ran away. Moses ran after it until it reached a small, shaded place. There, the lamb came across a pool and began to drink. As Moses approached the lamb, he said, “I did not know you ran away because you were thirsty. You are so exhausted!” He then put the lamb on his shoulders and carried him back. The Holy One said, “Since you tend the sheep of human beings with such overwhelming love - by your life, I swear you shall be the shepherd of My sheep, Israel.”
Exhaustion Effect: Others will notice and comment.
Opportunity Knocks: Say yes to help.
Quick back story before our next text: In the Talmud, in tractate Bava Metzia, R. Yehuda says in the name of Shmuel, "There are only 3 things a rabbi can lie about: a section of Torah, intimacy, and hospitality."
Rashi, a medieval commentator, picks up on the oddity of giving rabbis permission to tell lies (maybe only white lies), and wonders aloud, "Why hospitality?"
Regarding hospitality - If people ask him if his host received him well. Answer them "no." This is a good character trait in order to prevent undesirable guests from inundating him [the host] and exhausting his resources.
Exhaustion Effect: You forget that you *can* say "No."
Opportunity Knocks: Say no.
The Million Dollar Question: When can exhaustion be a good thing with a good outcome?
(יב) אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים בְּרִית כְּרוּתָה שֶׁכָּל הַיָּגֵעַ בְּתוֹרָתוֹ בְּבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ לֹא בִּמְהֵרָה הוּא מְשַׁכֵּחַ. וְכָל הַיָּגֵעַ בְּתַלְמוּדוֹ בְּצִנְעָה מַחְכִּים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי יא ב) "וְאֶת צְנוּעִים חָכְמָה". וְכָל הַמַּשְׁמִיעַ קוֹלוֹ בִּשְׁעַת תַּלְמוּדוֹ תַּלְמוּדוֹ מִתְקַיֵּם בְּיָדוֹ. אֲבָל הַקּוֹרֵא בְּלַחַשׁ בִּמְהֵרָה הוּא שׁוֹכֵחַ:
(12) The sages said: "There is an established covenant that he who exhausts himself in studying the Torah in the Bet Hamidrash will not easily forget it; and he who exhausts himself studying Torah privately by himself becomes wise, even as it is said: "But with the lowly is wisdom" (Prov. 11.2). He who during his study reads the words audibly, his study remains with him; but he who whispers out his words speedily forgets them.
(ב) דָּבָר אַחֵר – כי גאה גאה, עַל כָּל הַשִּׁירוֹת וְכָל מַה שֶּׁאֲקַלֵּס בּוֹ, עוֹד יֵשׁ בּוֹ תּוֹסֶפֶת, וְלֹא כְמִדַּת מֶלֶךְ בָּשָׂר וָדָם שֶׁמְּקַלְּסִין אוֹתוֹ וְאֵין בּוֹ:
(2) Another explanation of כי גאה גאה: I will sing unto the Lord although (כי) He is exalted high above all songs and however much I may praise Him there will still remain something additional in Him to be praised (עוד יש בו תוספת — I can never exhaust his praises), and not as is the practice in respect to a human king whom one praises, attributing to him certain virtues whilst these are really not in him.