"I want to walk alone" Haftarah Parshat Lech Lecha

In order to understand this, imagine a person on a small island alone. Now let us ask, will he grow up to be righteous or evil? In order to answer that you’d have to look at his character traits. But what kind of traits could he develop or acquire? He never dealt with anger because he had no one to be angry at. He never dealt with guarding his tongue from slander and evil speech for there is no one to gossip about. He didn’t have to restrain himself from revenge or bearing a grudge for there was no one to exact revenge from or to bear a grudge against. He had no one to afflict with pain or hurt, no reason to lie for there was no one to lie to and no theft for he had no one to steal from. There was also no one to do kindness with.

No desirable character trait can develop without other people around because good traits need constant refinement of the soul, molding his personality according to his contact with other people. So it comes out that someone alone will never progress spiritually. Our sages already said “a knife doesn’t sharpen but with another knife”. Therefore the most uplifting Torah study is done with a study partner to the point that our sages said: “Either a study partner or death”. (Taanit 23a)

Without other people around a person cannot progress spiritually and he has no opportunity to overcome his inclinations and shape his desires, do kindness with others and to be a better person. This is what the sages of mussar meant when they said; “Your friend’s physical needs is your spiritualty.” Through your contact with others you get spiritually elevated. Therefore a person who is not married is considered a half a person because he hasn’t yet had the opportunity to elevate himself through having an emotional bond with his wife and giving to his children that he loves. This is what Rabbi Akiva meant when he said: “You should love your friend as yourself; this is a great rule in the Torah”. (Jerusalem Talmud, Nedarim 30) Through love a person merits to grow and grow.

When you open up our own texts and tradition, there is no question to which side the scale tilts. Martin Buber, in his essay on biblical leadership, pointed out the biblical partiality to the introvert. Think about every biblical hero we have encountered thus far. Jacob – a dweller in tents; Isaac – not exactly the back-slapping type. Noah – saves the whole world – why? Because he was tamim, simple in his righteousness. Of course Abraham does give an impassioned speech at Sodom and Gomorrah, but that is actually the exception that proves the rule. It was the very fact that our taciturn patriarch chose this spot to take a stand and speak out against God that made his conduct heroic. And the converse holds true as well, the low points of the narrative – Adam blaming Eve, Joseph’s careless words before his brothers – these were moments where a bit of verbal restraint would have been well placed and saved us from heartache.
--Blessed are the Introverts
January 05, 2013
Rabbi Elliot J. Cosgrove

As Emerson famously wrote, “It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” (Self Reliance)

But the lesson is clear. It is that still small voice, in the classroom, the board room, the staff meeting, the political arena and most of all, within each of us, that is so easy to overlook, that is often the bearer of the greatest wisdom and insight. May each of us take care to listen carefully, to hear that voice, and most importantly, to respond to its call.
--Blessed are the Introverts
January 05, 2013
Rabbi Elliot J. Cosgrove