יומכיפור - בין אדם לחברו מכינת לכיש מיתרים שנה ב' תשע"ט

This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently.

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your countrymen. Love your fellow as yourself: I am the LORD.

A disciple of the wise should not be noisy and loud like cattle and animals when talking, nor even raise his voice overmuch, but converse calmly with all people; nevertheless, in speaking calmly he should not overdo it lest he resemble the overpoliteness of the arrogant. He should be first to greet every person, so that their spirit be pleased with him He should judge every person favorably, telling the praiseworthy things about his friend and not at all about the blameworthy things; love peace and pursue it. If he can see his words acceptable he may speak, if not he should be silent. For instance? He should not appease his friend when the latter is moody; nor question him concerning his vow at the time the vow was made, but wait until his friend's mind will be composed and collected; he should not offer condolence while the remains of the deceased are in the presence of his friend, because he is upset until after the remains are buried, and so in other matters of a like delicate nature. He should not call upon his friend while the latter is down through a failing, but keep his eye off of him. He should not change his word, nor add to or diminish from it, unless it be for the sake of peace and similar worthy objects. As a general rule, he should not speak much else save words of wisdom, or charity and the like. He should not carry on a conversation with a woman on the street, even though she be his wife, or his sister, or his daughter.¹⁰Yoma, 86a; Kiddushin, 70b; Yebamot, 65a; Pirke Abot, 1; Ibid. 4; Berakot, 43a; Ibid, 48. C. G.