לבן ובתואל

Background information: Eliezer comes to town looking for a wife for Yitzchak and Rivkah has just offered Eliezer and his camels water.

בראשית כ״ד:כ״ט-ל״ג

(כט) וּלְרִבְקָ֥ה אָ֖ח וּשְׁמ֣וֹ לָבָ֑ן וַיָּ֨רָץ לָבָ֧ן אֶל־הָאִ֛ישׁ הַח֖וּצָה אֶל־הָעָֽיִן׃ (ל) וַיְהִ֣י ׀ כִּרְאֹ֣ת אֶת־הַנֶּ֗זֶם וְֽאֶת־הַצְּמִדִים֮ עַל־יְדֵ֣י אֲחֹתוֹ֒ וּכְשָׁמְע֗וֹ אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֞י רִבְקָ֤ה אֲחֹתוֹ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר כֹּֽה־דִבֶּ֥ר אֵלַ֖י הָאִ֑ישׁ וַיָּבֹא֙ אֶל־הָאִ֔ישׁ וְהִנֵּ֛ה עֹמֵ֥ד עַל־הַגְּמַלִּ֖ים עַל־הָעָֽיִן׃ (לא) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר בּ֖וֹא בְּר֣וּךְ ה' לָ֤מָּה תַעֲמֹד֙ בַּח֔וּץ וְאָנֹכִי֙ פִּנִּ֣יתִי הַבַּ֔יִת וּמָק֖וֹם לַגְּמַלִּֽים׃ (לב) וַיָּבֹ֤א הָאִישׁ֙ הַבַּ֔יְתָה וַיְפַתַּ֖ח הַגְּמַלִּ֑ים וַיִּתֵּ֨ן תֶּ֤בֶן וּמִסְפּוֹא֙ לַגְּמַלִּ֔ים וּמַ֙יִם֙ לִרְחֹ֣ץ רַגְלָ֔יו וְרַגְלֵ֥י הָאֲנָשִׁ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר אִתּֽוֹ׃ (לג) ויישם [וַיּוּשַׂ֤ם] לְפָנָיו֙ לֶאֱכֹ֔ל וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֹכַ֔ל עַ֥ד אִם־דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי דְּבָרָ֑י וַיֹּ֖אמֶר דַּבֵּֽר׃

Genesis 24:29-33

(29) Now Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban. Laban ran out to the man at the spring— (30) when he saw the nose-ring and the bands on his sister’s arms, and when he heard his sister Rebekah say, “Thus the man spoke to me.” He went up to the man, who was still standing beside the camels at the spring. (31) “Come in, O blessed of the LORD,” he said, “why do you remain outside, when I have made ready the house and a place for the camels?” (32) So the man entered the house, and the camels were unloaded. The camels were given straw and feed, and water was brought to bathe his feet and the feet of the men with him. (33) But when food was set before him, he said, “I will not eat until I have told my tale.” He said, “Speak, then.”

Eliezer proceeds to tell the whole story of his journey and the request of his master, Avraham.

ספורנו על בראשית כ״ד:כ״ט:א׳

(א) וירץ לבן אל האיש לראות אורח עשיר שבא לעיר לא להכניסו לביתו:

Sforno on Genesis 24:29:1

(1) וירץ לבן אל האיש, to take a look at the wealthy visitor that had come to town, not to invite him to his own home.

Lavan has ulterior motives. He doesn't want to be a good host, he wants a nice gift. He only cleared the house and made room for the camels since this guest looked like a choshive guy.

שני לוחות הברית, תורה שבכתב, חיי שרה, תורה אור מ״ב

(מב) לבן, היה בו עין הרע ורוח גבוהה ונפש רחבה. וכל השתדלות לבן שרץ להקביל פני אליעזר והסכמתו להשידוך הכל בשביל ממון, וכן אמר הכתוב (בראשית כד, ל) ויהי כראות את הנזם ואת הצמידים על ידי אחותו וכשמעו את דברי רבקה אחותו וגו' ויבא אל האיש וגו'. הענין הוא, היה חמד הממון, וגם לבן הוא איש רמאי. והנה כראות את הנזם והצמידים, חמד לממון ונתלבש ברמאות, דהיינו כששמע דברי רבקה אז ידע שבא אליעזר בשביל השידוך, על כן רץ נגדו להשדה לדבר עמו בסוד אם הוא רוצה ליתן לו כך וכך סך מרובה שוחד אזי יסכים הוא עם השידוך, ואם לאו אזי ימחה כי הוא גדול הבית. וזה הרמאות רמזה התורה במה שהודיעה ששמע לדברי רבקה אחותו, שאז ידע שהוא ענין שידוך.

Shenei Luchot HaBerit, Torah Shebikhtav, Chayei Sara, Torah Ohr 42

(42) Laban was possessed of עין רע, he was ill-willed, begrudging, he was haughty and greedy. His whole concern in approving the match was to secure personal gain. The Torah is careful to document how Laban was motivated by money when we are told: "As soon as Laban saw the nosering and bracelets on the hands of his sister etc.,… he ran towards the man" (24,30). Laban was a swindler to boot. Realising that Eliezer had come to propose a שידוך, a match, he whispered to Eliezer that in consideration of an appropriate amount of money he would side with him and approve the match. Should Eliezer refuse, he, Laban would oppose the match; he was the most influential member of the household. When the Torah reports that "Laban had heard the words of Rebeccah his sister," this is our clue that he knew that a match was going to be discussed. Eliezer had no option but to promise Laban what he had asked. The reason the Torah does not report all this is because it simply never came to this.

בראשית כ״ד:נ׳-נ״ט

(נ) וַיַּ֨עַן לָבָ֤ן וּבְתוּאֵל֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ מֵה' יָצָ֣א הַדָּבָ֑ר לֹ֥א נוּכַ֛ל דַּבֵּ֥ר אֵלֶ֖יךָ רַ֥ע אוֹ־טֽוֹב׃ (נא) הִנֵּֽה־רִבְקָ֥ה לְפָנֶ֖יךָ קַ֣ח וָלֵ֑ךְ וּתְהִ֤י אִשָּׁה֙ לְבֶן־אֲדֹנֶ֔יךָ כַּאֲשֶׁ֖ר דִּבֶּ֥ר ה'׃ (נב) וַיְהִ֕י כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר שָׁמַ֛ע עֶ֥בֶד אַבְרָהָ֖ם אֶת־דִּבְרֵיהֶ֑ם וַיִּשְׁתַּ֥חוּ אַ֖רְצָה לַֽה'׃ (נג) וַיּוֹצֵ֨א הָעֶ֜בֶד כְּלֵי־כֶ֨סֶף וּכְלֵ֤י זָהָב֙ וּבְגָדִ֔ים וַיִּתֵּ֖ן לְרִבְקָ֑ה וּמִ֨גְדָּנֹ֔ת נָתַ֥ן לְאָחִ֖יהָ וּלְאִמָּֽהּ׃ (נד) וַיֹּאכְל֣וּ וַיִּשְׁתּ֗וּ ה֛וּא וְהָאֲנָשִׁ֥ים אֲשֶׁר־עִמּ֖וֹ וַיָּלִ֑ינוּ וַיָּק֣וּמוּ בַבֹּ֔קֶר וַיֹּ֖אמֶר שַׁלְּחֻ֥נִי לַֽאדֹנִֽי׃ (נה) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אָחִ֙יהָ֙ וְאִמָּ֔הּ תֵּשֵׁ֨ב הַנַּעֲרָ֥ אִתָּ֛נוּ יָמִ֖ים א֣וֹ עָשׂ֑וֹר אַחַ֖ר תֵּלֵֽךְ׃ (נו) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֲלֵהֶם֙ אַל־תְּאַחֲר֣וּ אֹתִ֔י וַֽה' הִצְלִ֣יחַ דַּרְכִּ֑י שַׁלְּח֕וּנִי וְאֵלְכָ֖ה לַֽאדֹנִֽי׃ (נז) וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ נִקְרָ֣א לַֽנַּעֲרָ֑ וְנִשְׁאֲלָ֖ה אֶת־פִּֽיהָ׃ (נח) וַיִּקְרְא֤וּ לְרִבְקָה֙ וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ אֵלֶ֔יהָ הֲתֵלְכִ֖י עִם־הָאִ֣ישׁ הַזֶּ֑ה וַתֹּ֖אמֶר אֵלֵֽךְ׃ (נט) וַֽיְשַׁלְּח֛וּ אֶת־רִבְקָ֥ה אֲחֹתָ֖ם וְאֶת־מֵנִקְתָּ֑הּ וְאֶת־עֶ֥בֶד אַבְרָהָ֖ם וְאֶת־אֲנָשָֽׁיו׃

Genesis 24:50-59

(50) Then Laban and Bethuel answered, “The matter was decreed by the LORD; we cannot speak to you bad or good. (51) Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go, and let her be a wife to your master’s son, as the LORD has spoken.” (52) When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed low to the ground before the LORD. (53) The servant brought out objects of silver and gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah; and he gave presents to her brother and her mother. (54) Then he and the men with him ate and drank, and they spent the night. When they arose next morning, he said, “Give me leave to go to my master.” (55) But her brother and her mother said, “Let the maiden remain with us some ten days; then you may go.” (56) He said to them, “Do not delay me, now that the LORD has made my errand successful. Give me leave that I may go to my master.” (57) And they said, “Let us call the girl and ask for her reply.” (58) They called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will.” (59) So they sent off their sister Rebekah and her nurse along with Abraham’s servant and his men.

רש"י על בראשית כ״ד:נ׳:א׳

(א) ויען לבן ובתואל. רָשָׁע הָיָה, וְקָפַץ לְהָשִׁיב לִפְנֵי אָבִיו:

Rashi on Genesis 24:50:1

(1) ויען לבן ובתואל THEN LABAN AND BETHUEL ANSWERED —He (Laban) was a wicked person and so rushed in to answer before his father.

Lavan did not realize that any person was greater than he was. He only showed respect to Eliezer because he appeared rich, and Lavan did not think that his father, who was older and wiser than he, had anything more valuable to say than what could be said in Lavan's own words.

בראשית רבה ס׳:י״ב

(יב) וַיֹּאמֶר אָחִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ תֵּשֵׁב הַנַּעֲרָ אִתָּנוּ (בראשית כד, נה), וּבְתוּאֵל הֵיכָן הוּא, בִּקֵּשׁ לְעַכֵּב וְנִגַּף בַּלַּיְלָה,

Bereshit Rabbah 60:12

Her brother and mother said, "let the girl stay with us." And where was Bethuel? He wanted to split apart the marriage and was struck by an angel (killed) at night.

Was it not for the best that Lavan spoke before his father? Besuel wanted to call off the marriage, while Lavan remained noncommittal! Even so, Lavan lacked fundamental respect for his father, so the last encounter that Lavan has with his father was disrespect. Lavan himself said that the match was made by HaKadosh Baruch Hu, but he didn't believe that enough to let his father have a say.