אמר רבי חמא בר' חנינא מה תקנתו של מספרי לשון הרע אם תלמיד חכם הוא יעסוק בתורה שנא' (משלי טו, ד) מרפא לשון עץ חיים ואין לשון אלא לשון הרע שנאמר חץ שחוט לשונם ואין עץ אלא תורה...היכי דמי לישנא בישא (רבא אמר) כגון דאמר איכא נורא בי פלניא אמר ליה אביי מאי קא עביד גלויי מילתא בעלמא הוא אלא דמפיק בלישנא בישא דאמר היכא משתכח נורא אלא בי פלניא [דאיכא בשרא וכוורי]...
Rabbi Chama son of Chanina said: What repair is possible for those who speak lashon ha'ra? If he/she is a Torah student, let him/her study the Torah, as it says in Proverbs, "The tree of life heals the tongue," and tongue (mouth) here refers to lashon ha'ra and 'tree' refers to Torah...What constitutes evil speech? Rava said an example, one said, "There is a fire in Ploni's home." Abaye said to him, "What did he do wrong? He just shared information." However, he spoke in a lashon ha'ra way, saying, 'Where else should there be fire if not in the house of Ploni, where there is always meat and fish?"
Some of the material in this source sheet was taken from a curriculum prepared by Dr. Dawn Robinson Rose from the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, Center for Jewish Ethics, Published 1997.
This quotation challenges us to think about how we phrase our speech and the way the phrasing communicates the intent of the speech.
(ד) וְיֵשׁ דְּבָרִים שֶׁהֵן אֲבַק לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. כֵּיצַד. מִי יֹאמַר לִפְלוֹנִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה כְּמוֹת שֶׁהוּא עַתָּה. אוֹ שֶׁיֹּאמַר שִׁתְקוּ מִפְּלוֹנִי אֵינִי רוֹצֶה לְהוֹדִיעַ מָה אֵרַע וּמֶה הָיָה. וְכַיּוֹצֵא בַּדְּבָרִים הָאֵלּוּ. וְכָל הַמְסַפֵּר בְּטוֹבַת חֲבֵרוֹ בִּפְנֵי שׂוֹנְאָיו הֲרֵי זֶה אֲבַק לָשׁוֹן הָרַע שֶׁזֶּה גּוֹרֵם לָהֶם שֶׁיְּסַפְּרוּ בִּגְנוּתוֹ. וְעַל זֶה הָעִנְיָן אָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה (משלי כז יד) "מְבָרֵךְ רֵעֵהוּ בְּקוֹל גָּדוֹל בַּבֹּקֶר הַשְׁכֵּים קְלָלָה תֵּחָשֶׁב לוֹ". שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ טוֹבָתוֹ בָּא לִידֵי רָעָתוֹ. וְכֵן הַמְסַפֵּר בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע דֶּרֶךְ שְׂחוֹק וְדֶרֶךְ קַלּוּת רֹאשׁ כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר בְּשִׂנְאָה. הוּא שֶׁשְּׁלֹמֹה אָמַר בְּחָכְמָתוֹ (משלי כו יח) "כְּמִתְלַהְלֵהַּ הַיֹּרֶה זִקִּים חִצִּים וָמָוֶת" (משלי כו יט) "וְאָמַר הֲלֹא מְשַׂחֵק אָנִי". וְכֵן הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע דֶּרֶךְ רַמָּאוּת וְהוּא שֶׁיְּסַפֵּר לְתֻמּוֹ כְּאִלּוּ אֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁדָּבָר זֶה שֶׁדִּבֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע הוּא אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁמְּמַחִין בּוֹ אוֹמֵר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁדָּבָר זֶה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע אוֹ שֶׁאֵלּוּ מַעֲשָׂיו שֶׁל פְּלוֹנִי:
(4) And, there are certain kinds of words which are the grinding of the evil tongue. For example: One will say, "Who will tell that person to be as he is now"? Or he will say: "Hold your peace concerning that person, I am disinclined to relate what happened, or what was", or like such expressions. Even he who tells the good qualities of his fellow in the presence of his fellow's enemies is making grinding of an evil tongue, because he calls forth his fellow's shame from the mouths of his enemies and concerning this subject Solomon said: "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him" (Prov. 27.14). Out of his goodness for him, he brings about evil to him. Likewise, he who tells with an evil tongue under the guise of a joke, or lightheadedness, that is, he does not speak it in tones of hatred, even of him Solomon in his wisdom said: "As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows and death; so is the man that deceiveth his neighbor and saith, 'Am not I in sport?'" (Ibid .26 18–19.). Among such is also the one who uses an evil tongue deceitfully, relating innocently, as if ignorant that his speech be words of an evil tongue, but when there is a protest against what he says, he avers that he does not know that such tale is evil speech, or that such was really the conduct of that person.6Yeru. Pe’ah, 1; Shabbat, 33a. C. G.
Context is critical to how we perceive speech.
Context is critical to how we perceive speech. 'Grinding' is not as accurate a translation as 'dust', 'dust of lashon ha'ra' is like the soot that a fire produces - it's a secondary impact, once-removed from actually saying something.
(1) לא תקלל חרש THOU SHALT NOT CURSE THE DEAF — I have here only the law that one must not curse the deaf: whence do I know that any person is included in this prohibition and that the meaning is, Thou shalt not curse even the deaf? Because Scripture states (Exodus 22:27) "Thou shalt not curse בעמך, anyone among thy people". But if this be so why does Scripture say חרש and does not use some more general expression? It does so in order to offer an analogy: What is the case with the חרש? He is one who cannot hear your curse and therefore cannot feel aggrieved, but he has the characteristic of being a living person! The same applies to all living, thus excluding a dead person, who though he cannot hear and feel aggrieved, is not living (Sifra, Kedoshim, Section 2 13; cf. also Sanhedrin 66a). (2) ולפני עור לא תתן מכשל THOU SHALT NOT PUT A STUMBLING BLOCK BEFORE THE BLIND — This implies: "Give not a person who is "blind" in a matter an advice which is improper for him. Do not say to him: "Sell your field and buy from the proceeds of the sale an ass", the fact being that you are endeavouring to circumvent him and to take it (the field) from him (Sifra, Kedoshim, Section 2 14). (3) ויראת מאלהיך BUT THOU SHALT BE AFRAID OF THY GOD — Because in this case it is not given to human beings to know whether the intention of this man (the offender) was for the advantage or the disadvantage of the person whom he advised, and he thus might be able to evade the responsibility by saying: "I meant it for the best", Scripture therefore states with reference to him: "But thou shall be afraid of thy God" Who is cognizant of thy secret thoughts. Similarly in all actions where it is given only to the heart of him who does it to know the motive that prompts him and where other people have no insight into it, Scripture states, "But be afraid of thy God!" (Sifra, Kedoshim, Section 2 14; Bava Metzia 58b).
Rashi explains that intent is a critical element in evaluating both human speech and action - but intent is not always clear and our perception of intent (whether our own, or by extension someone else's) is not self-evident. According to Rashi, only God can see into our hearts.
(1) At this point the Torah warns that one must not cause distress to one’s fellow man by undermining his dignity, his self image and the image he enjoys among his peers. Example are: לא תקלל חרש, this is a damage that the deaf person does not even become aware of. Next, the Torah discusses tangible damages, such as (2) לפני עור לא תתן מכשול, indirect damages, for who knows if the blind will trip over the obstacle? The one causing even indirect damage is held responsible by the Torah. [this is presumably in the realm of heavenly judgment, seeing that the Talmud feels that people, as opposed to animals, who have eyes in their head, should watch out for obstacles in their path. Ed.]
Sforno speaks to a critical issue regarding lashon ha'ra - its potential 'indirect-ness' - even if our intent is good, even if we speak in a way that is in all ways positive without any negatively suggestive language (looking back to Arakhin 15b), there is still the possibility that our speech could cause indirect damage and we're responsible. A bottom-line here is that we are responsible as human beings for our words, our actions, even when good words and actions result in harm.
Water From the Rock
20 In the first month the whole Israelite community arrived at the Desert of Zin,and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried.
2 Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. 3 They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the Lord! 4 Why did you bring the Lord’s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here?5 Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!”
6 Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meetingand fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. 7 The Lord said to Moses, 8 “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”
9 So Moses took the staff from the Lord’s presence, just as he commanded him.10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?”11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Watergushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
12 But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
13 These were the waters of Meribah,[a] where the Israelites quarreled with the Lordand where he was proved holy among them.