New Kids on the Block: What it takes to be a good neighbor

In honor of the new Edward H. Rosen Center for Jewish Life at Temple University, tonight we will be exploring what it takes to be a good neighbor. We'll move through texts that help us to discern what being a good neighbor means, and then move to texts that help us build ethics, character traits and relationships that help build communities of "good neighbors."
Prepared by Isabel de Koninck, Director, Tzedek Philly, [email protected]

Genesis Rabbah 24:7

בן עזאי אומר זה ספר תולדות אדם זה כלל גדול בתורה, ר"ע אומר (ויקרא יט) ואהבת לרעך כמוך, זה כלל גדול בתורה, שלא תאמר הואיל ונתבזיתי יתבזה חבירי עמי הואיל ונתקללתי יתקלל חבירי עמי, א"ר תנחומא אם עשית כן דע למי אתה מבזה, בדמות אלהים עשה אותו.

Bereishit_Rabbah.24.7

Ben ‘Azzai said: “'This is the book of the descendants of Adam' is a great principle of the Torah.” R. Akiva said: "'Love your neighbor as yourself' (Leviticus 19:18) is a great principle, so that you must not say, "Since I have been put to shame, let my neighbor be put to shame, since I have been cursed, let my neighbor be cursed." R. Tanhuma said: "If you do so, know whom you put to shame, for 'In the image of God did God make him'" (Genesis 5:1). [AJWS translation]

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. Who are the players in this text – seen and unseen?
2. This text has powerful implication on how we relate to those around us. What are some ways we can implement this thinking into our daily lives? our politics?

Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 31a

שבת ל״א א:ו׳

שוב מעשה בנכרי אחד שבא לפני שמאי, אמר לו: גיירני על מנת שתלמדני כל התורה כולה כשאני עומד על רגל אחת. דחפו באמת הבנין שבידו. בא לפני הלל, גייריה. אמר לו: דעלך סני לחברך לא תעביד - זו היא כל התורה כולה, ואידך - פירושה הוא, זיל גמור.

Shabbat 31a:6

On another occasion it happened that a certain non-Jew came before Shammai and said to him, “I will convert to Judaism, on condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot.” Shammai chased him away with the builder's tool that was in his hand. He came before Hillel and said to him, "Convert me." Hillel said to him, “What is hateful to you, do not to your neighbor: that is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary; go and learn it.” [AJWS translation]

Discussion Questions 1. How is Hillel's phrase here different than the verse in Leviticus, "Love your neighbor as yourself?"
2. If we truly followed this dictum, how would our daily behavior change?
3. How might we experience "the rest of Torah" as a commentary on this idea?

Ramban, Leviticus 19:2

דַּבֵּר אֶל כָּל עֲדַת בְּנֵי יִשְרָאֵל וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם קְדֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ כִּי קָדוֹשׁ אֲנִי ה' אֱלֹהֵיכֶם: זה דרך התורה לפרוט ולכלול בכיוצא בזה, כי אחרי אזהרת פרטי הדינין בכל משא ומתן שבין בני אדם, לא תגנוב ולא תגזול ולא תונו ושאר האזהרות, אמר בכלל ועשית הישר והטוב )דברים ו יח(, שיכניס בעשה היושר וההשויה וכל לפנים משורת הדין לרצון חבריו, כאשר אפרש )שם( בהגיעי למקומו ברצון הקב"ה.

Leviticus.19.2

"Speak to the whole Israelite community and say to them: You shall be holy, for I, your God, am holy." Initially, God said that you should observe the laws and statutes which God had commanded you. Now God says that, with respect to what God has not commanded, you should likewise take heed to do the good and the right in God’s eyes, for God loves the good and the right. And this is a great matter. For it is impossible to mention in the Torah all of a person’s actions toward his neighbors and acquaintances, all of his commercial activity, and all social and political institutions. [AJWS translation]

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. How might we define "the good and the right"?
2. What are the values this text offers that are meant to guide "a person’s actions toward his neighbors and acquaintances, all of his commercial activity, and all social and political institutions"?
3. How are we, as a society, measuring up to Ramban's standards?

Moshe Chaim Luzzato, Mesilat Yesharim, Chapter 21

Translation	Original
Most people are not outright thieves, taking their neighbors’ property and putting it in their own premises. However, in their business dealing most of them get a taste of stealing whenever they permit themselves to make an unfair profit at the expense of someone else, claiming that such a profit has nothing to do with stealing. It is not merely the obvious and explicit theft with which we have to concern ourselves, but any unlawful transfer of wealth from one individual to another that may occur in everyday economic activities. [Zevitt translation]

Translation

Original

Most people are not outright thieves, taking their neighbors’ property and putting it in their own premises. However, in their business dealing most of them get a taste of stealing whenever they permit themselves to make an unfair profit at the expense of someone else, claiming that such a profit has nothing to do with stealing. It is not merely the obvious and explicit theft with which we have to concern ourselves, but any unlawful transfer of wealth from one individual to another that may occur in everyday economic activities. [Zevitt translation]

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. What other actions might be considered "stealing" by the standard set here?
2. How does this type of interaction affect our relationships with our neighbors
3. What are the obstacles to living any other way?

Mishna, Baba Batra 2:1

לא יחפור אדם בור סמוך לבורו של חבירו ולא שיח ולא מערה ולא אמת המים ולא נברכת כובסין אלא אם כן הרחיק מכותל חבירו שלשה טפחים וסד בסיד מרחיקין את הגפת ואת הזבל ואת המלח ואת הסיד ואת הסלעים מכותלו של חבירו שלשה טפחים וסד בסיד מרחיקין את הזרעים ואת המחרישה ואת מי רגלים מן הכותל שלשה טפחים

Mishnah_Bava_Batra.2.1

One may not dig a cistern close to the cistern of another, nor a trench, nor a vault, nor a water channel, nor a washer-man's pool, unless it is three tefahim distant from the wall of the other, and he must plaster it with lime. One must place olive peat, dung, salt, lime and rocks three tefahim away from the wall of one's neighbor, and he must plaster it with lime. Seeds, the plough and urine must be three tefahim away from the wall. [Moreshet translation]

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. What are the dangers of building too close to your neighbor?
2. In what other ways does the way we build affect our neighbors?
3. What social justice themes emerge from this text?

Rambam, Laws of Temperament 6:7

Translation	Original
If one observes that another committed a sin or walks in a way that is not good, it is the person’s duty to bring the erring one back to the right path and point out that he/she is wronging him/herself by this evil course, as it is said, “You shall surely rebuke your neighbor” (Leviticus 19:17). One who rebukes another, whether for offenses against the one who rebukes him/herself or for sins against God, should administer the rebuke in private, speak to the offender gently and tenderly, and point out that the rebuke is offered for the wrongdoer’s own good, to secure for the other life in the World to Come. If the person accepts the rebuke, well and good. If not, the person should be rebuked a second, and a third time. And so one is bound to continue the admonitions, until the sinner assaults the admonisher and says, “I refuse to listen.” Whoever is in a position to prevent wrongdoing and does not do so is responsible for the iniquity of all the wrongdoers whom that person might have restrained. [Freeman translation]	הרואה חבירו שחטא או שהלך בדרך לא טובה מצוה להחזירו למוטב ולהודיעו שהוא חוטא על עצמו במעשיו הרעים שנאמר הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך (ויקרא יט:יז), המוכיח את חבירו בין בדברים שבינו לבינו, בין בדברים שבינו לבין המקום, צריך להוכיחו בינו לבין עצמו, וידבר לו בנחת ובלשון רכה ויודיעו שאינו אומר לו אלא לטובתו להביאו לחיי העולם הבא, אם קיבל ממנו מוטב ואם לאו יוכיחנו פעם שניה ושלישית, וכן תמיד חייב אדם להוכיחו עד שיכהו החוטא ויאמר לו איני שומע, וכל שאפשר בידו למחות ואינו מוחה הוא נתפש בעון אלו כיון שאפשר לו למחות בהם.

Translation

Original

If one observes that another committed a sin or walks in a way that is not good, it is the person’s duty to bring the erring one back to the right path and point out that he/she is wronging him/herself by this evil course, as it is said, “You shall surely rebuke your neighbor” (Leviticus 19:17). One who rebukes another, whether for offenses against the one who rebukes him/herself or for sins against God, should administer the rebuke in private, speak to the offender gently and tenderly, and point out that the rebuke is offered for the wrongdoer’s own good, to secure for the other life in the World to Come. If the person accepts the rebuke, well and good. If not, the person should be rebuked a second, and a third time. And so one is bound to continue the admonitions, until the sinner assaults the admonisher and says, “I refuse to listen.” Whoever is in a position to prevent wrongdoing and does not do so is responsible for the iniquity of all the wrongdoers whom that person might have restrained. [Freeman translation]

הרואה חבירו שחטא או שהלך בדרך לא טובה מצוה להחזירו למוטב ולהודיעו שהוא חוטא על עצמו במעשיו הרעים שנאמר הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך (ויקרא יט:יז), המוכיח את חבירו בין בדברים שבינו לבינו, בין בדברים שבינו לבין המקום, צריך להוכיחו בינו לבין עצמו, וידבר לו בנחת ובלשון רכה ויודיעו שאינו אומר לו אלא לטובתו להביאו לחיי העולם הבא, אם קיבל ממנו מוטב ואם לאו יוכיחנו פעם שניה ושלישית, וכן תמיד חייב אדם להוכיחו עד שיכהו החוטא ויאמר לו איני שומע, וכל שאפשר בידו למחות ואינו מוחה הוא נתפש בעון אלו כיון שאפשר לו למחות בהם.

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. Who are the players in this text – seen and unseen?
2. In practice, it is very difficult to rebuke someone. What are some ways of rebuking so that the person is not shamed?
3. What might it look like if we took this advice to heart in our own lives? How do you think this would change our communities?

Exodus Rabbah 27:9

כל הימים שאדם חבר לא איכפת לו בצבור ואינו נענש עליו, נתמנה אדם בראש ונטל טלית לא יאמר לטובתי אני נזקק לא איכפת לי בצבור אלא כל טורח הצבור עליו, אם ראה אדם מעביר בייא על חבירו או עובר עבירה ולא ממחה בידו הוא נענש עליו, ורוח הקדש צווחת בני אם ערבת לרעך, אתה ערב עליו תקעת לזר כפיך, אמר לו הקב"ה אתה הכנסת עצמך לזירה, ומי שהוא מכניס עצמו לזירה או ניצוח או נוצח, א"ל הקב"ה אני ואתה עומדים בזירה או נצחת או נצחתי.

Shemot_Rabbah.27.9

As long as one is but an ordinary scholar, he has no concern with the congregation and is not punished [for its lapses], but as soon as he is appointed head and dons the cloak [of leadership], he must no longer say: ‘I live for my own benefit, I care not about the congregation,’ but the whole burden of the community is on his shoulders. If he sees a man causing suffering to another, or transgressing, and does not prevent him, then he is held punishable. The Holy Spirit then exclaims, “‘My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor’- you are responsible for him, because ‘you have shaken hands on behalf of a stranger’” (Proverbs 6:1). The Holy Blessed One says to him: “‘You [by assuming office] have placed yourself in the arena’, and he who places himself in the arena stands either to fail or win. We two stand in the arena; either you prevail or I.” [Soncino translation]

Suggested Discussion Questions 1. Who are the players in this text – seen and unseen?
2. How do you think this text defines "neighbor"?
3. In what ways can leaders help their community be more involved in acts of justice?
4. In what ways are all citizens of a democracy leaders?