(1) And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took each of them his censer, and put fire therein, and laid incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded them. (2) And there came forth fire from before the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD. (3) Then Moses said unto Aaron: ‘This is it that the LORD spoke, saying: Through them that are nigh unto Me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified.’ And Aaron held his peace. (4) And Moses called Mishael and Elzaphan, the sons of Uzziel the uncle of Aaron, and said unto them: ‘Draw near, carry your brethren from before the sanctuary out of the camp.’ (5) So they drew near, and carried them in their tunics out of the camp, as Moses had said. (6) And Moses said unto Aaron, and unto Eleazar and unto Ithamar, his sons: ‘Let not the hair of your heads go loose, neither rend your clothes, that ye die not, and that He be not wroth with all the congregation; but let your brethren, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning which the LORD hath kindled. (7) And ye shall not go out from the door of the tent of meeting, lest ye die; for the anointing oil of the LORD is upon you.’ And they did according to the word of Moses. (8) And the LORD spoke unto Aaron, saying: (9) ’Drink no wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tent of meeting, that ye die not; it shall be a statute forever throughout your generations. (10) And that ye may put difference between the holy and the common, and between the unclean and the clean; (11) and that ye may teach the children of Israel all the statutes which the LORD hath spoken unto them by the hand of Moses.’ (12) And Moses spoke unto Aaron, and unto Eleazar and unto Ithamar, his sons that were left: ‘Take the meal-offering that remaineth of the offerings of the LORD made by fire, and eat it without leaven beside the altar; for it is most holy. (13) And ye shall eat it in a holy place, because it is thy due, and thy sons’due, of the offerings of the LORD made by fire; for so I am commanded. (14) And the breast of waving and the thigh of heaving shall ye eat in a clean place; thou, and thy sons, and thy daughters with thee; for they are given as thy due, and thy sons’due, out of the sacrifices of the peace-offerings of the children of Israel. (15) The thigh of heaving and the breast of waving shall they bring with the offerings of the fat made by fire, to wave it for a wave-offering before the LORD; and it shall be thine, and thy sons’with thee, as a due for ever; as the LORD hath commanded.’ (16) And Moses diligently inquired for the goat of the sin-offering, and, behold, it was burnt; and he was angry with Eleazar and with Ithamar, the sons of Aaron that were left, saying: (17) ’Wherefore have ye not eaten the sin-offering in the place of the sanctuary, seeing it is most holy, and He hath given it you to bear the iniquity of the congregation, to make atonement for them before the LORD? (18) Behold, the blood of it was not brought into the sanctuary within; ye should certainly have eaten it in the sanctuary, as I commanded.’ (19) And Aaron spoke unto Moses: ‘Behold, this day have they offered their sin-offering and their burnt-offering before the LORD, and there have befallen me such things as these; and if I had eaten the sin-offering to-day, would it have been well-pleasing in the sight of the LORD? (20) And when Moses heard that, it was well-pleasing in his sight.
(א) ויקחו בני אהרן נדב ואביהוא - קודם שיצא האש מלפני יהוה כבר לקחו איש מחתתו להקטיר קטורת לפנים על מזבח הזהב, שהרי קטורת של שחר קודמת לאיברים ונתנו בהן אש זרה אשר לא צוה אותם משה ביום הזה, שאף על פי שבשאר ימים כתיב: ונתנו בני אהרן הכהן אש על המזבח - היום לא צוה ולא רצה משה שיביאו אש של הדיוט, לפי שהיו מצפים לירידת אש גבוה ולא טוב היום להביא את זה, כדי להתקדש שם שמים שידעו הכל כי אש באה מן השמים, כמו שאמר אליהו: ואש לא תשימו - לפי שהיה רוצה לקדש שם שמים בירידת האש מלמעלה.
(1) ויקחו בני אהרן נדב ואביהוא, before the fire had emanated from the Holy of Holies they each took his own pan planning to offer incense on the golden altar, seeing that this offering precedes (timewise) the disposal of not totally burned leftovers from the previous day’s sacrificial meat. They placed “alien” fire on these pans, something which had not been commanded by Moses to be done on this day. Even though on ordinary days the rule of “the sons of Aaron will place in these pans fire on the altar” (Leviticus 1,7) was in effect, this rule did not apply to the day of inauguration, and Moses had not wanted any man made fire to be introduced into the Tabernacle. This was because he expected heavenly fire to manifest itself so that the addition of man made fire would have completely ruined the impact of the miracle. On this day the name of God would be glorified by all the people becoming aware of Divine approval of their offerings, by God accepting same by means of heavenly fire.
(3) Then Moses said unto Aaron: ‘This is it that the LORD spoke, saying: Through them that are nigh unto Me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified.’ And Aaron held his peace.
(א) הוא אשר דבר וגו' . היכן דבר ונועדתי שמה לבני ישראל ונקדש בכבודי (שמות כט מג) אל תקרי בכבודי אלא במכבדי. אמר לו משה לאהרן, אהרן אחי יודע הייתי שיתקדש הבית במידעיו של מקום והייתי סבור או בי או בך, עכשיו רואה אני שהם גדולים ממני וממך:
...This is what the Lord spoke: But when did He speak? [It was when He said], “And I will meet with the children of Israel, and it will be sanctified through My glory (בִּכְבוֹדִי) ” (Exod. 29:43). Do not read בִּכְבוֹדִי, “through My glory,” but בִּמְכֻבָּדַי, “through My honorable ones.” Moses said to Aaron, “Aaron, my brother! I knew that this House was to be sanctified through the beloved ones of the Omnipresent, but I thought it would be either through me or through you. Now I see that they [Nadab and Abihu] were greater than I or you!
(יב) אָמַר רַבִּי אַבָּא בַּר אֲבִינָא מִפְּנֵי מָה נִסְמְכָה פָּרָשַׁת מִיתַת מִרְיָם לְאֵפֶר פָּרָה, אֶלָּא מְלַמֵּד שֶׁכְּשֵׁם שֶׁאֵפֶר הַפָּרָה מְכַפֵּר כָּךְ מִיתַת הַצַּדִּיקִים מְכַפֶּרֶת. אָמַר רַבִּי יוּדָן מִפְּנֵי מָה נִסְמְכָה מִיתַת אַהֲרֹן לִשְׁבִירַת לוּחוֹת, אֶלָּא מְלַמֵּד שֶׁהָיָה קָשֶׁה לִפְנֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מִיתָתוֹ שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן כִּשְׁבִירַת לוּחוֹת. אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּא בַּר אַבָּא, בְּאֶחָד בְּנִיסָן מֵתוּ בָּנָיו שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן, וְלָמָּה מַזְכִּיר מִיתָתָן בְּיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים, אֶלָּא מְלַמֵּד שֶׁכְּשֵׁם שֶׁיּוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר כָּךְ מִיתָתָן שֶׁל צַדִּיקִים מְכַפֶּרֶת. וּמִנַּיִן שֶׁיּוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא טז, ל): כִּי בַיּוֹם הַזֶּה יְכַפֵּר עֲלֵיכֶם לְטַהֵר אֶתְכֶם, וּמִנַיִן שֶׁמִּיתָתָן שֶׁל צַדִּיקִים מְכַפֶּרֶת, דִּכְתִיב (שמואל ב כא, יד): וַיִּקְבְּרוּ אֶת עַצְמוֹת שָׁאוּל, וּכְתִיב (שמואל ב כא, יד): וַיֵּעָתֵר אֱלֹהִים לָאָרֶץ אַחֲרֵי כֵן.
(א) וידבר יי וגו'. ..... לא נמנעו מקרוב לדביקות נעימות עריבות ידידות חביבות חשיקות מתיקות עד כלות נפשותם
...They came close to a sublime light with holy love, and died because of it. This is the mystic secret of “[G-d’s] kiss” through which the righteous die. Their death was equivalent to the death of the righteous
2. Parents are obligated to discipline their children but should use means that do not in and of themselves teach children that physical assault is a right of parents or anyone in authority. For most people, that means no use of any fom of hitting at all. For those who do use spanking or other forms of physical beating as a mode of discipline. For most people, that means no use of any fom of hitting at all. For those who do use spanking or other forms of physical beating as a mode of discipline, it is difficult to draw definitive lines ass to what is permissible and what is prohibited, but some guidelines can be stipulated. Specifically, a light smack on the buttocks (a "potch") or a slap with an open hand is permissible, hut any strike that causes bleeding or bruises, or blows administered with a rod, belt, or other weapon are forbidden. All the more so, any assault that causes severe, permanent damage to the child is clearly and emphatically forbidden. In addition, since discipline of the child is the only acceptable justification, random or unbri- dled heating or any heating unrelated to discipline of the child in a very specific way would also be forbidden. ln general, discipline is better done without beating of any kind.
Excerpted from, FAMILY VIOLENCE, Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff, Part 1: The Legal Status of Abuse
https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/sites/default/files/public/halakhah/teshuvot/19912000/dorff_violence.pdf