(כז) וַיִּבְרָ֨א אֱלֹקִ֤ים ׀ אֶת־הָֽאָדָם֙ בְּצַלְמ֔וֹ בְּצֶ֥לֶם אֱלֹקִ֖ים בָּרָ֣א אֹת֑וֹ זָכָ֥ר וּנְקֵבָ֖ה בָּרָ֥א אֹתָֽם׃
(27) And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
אלא להלך אחר מדותיו של הקב"ה מה הוא מלביש ערומים דכתיב (בראשית ג, כא) ויעש ה' אלקים לאדם ולאשתו כתנות עור וילבישם אף אתה הלבש ערומים הקב"ה ביקר חולים דכתיב (בראשית יח, א) וירא אליו ה' באלוני ממרא אף אתה בקר חולים הקב"ה ניחם אבלים דכתיב (בראשית כה, יא) ויהי אחרי מות אברהם ויברך אלקים את יצחק בנו אף אתה נחם אבלים הקב"ה קבר מתים דכתיב (דברים לד, ו) ויקבר אותו בגיא אף אתה קבור מתים
He explains: Rather, the meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He provides several examples. Just as He clothes the naked, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God’s appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: “And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6), so too, should you bury the dead.
From a spiritual perspective, our loved ones with Alzheimer’s and Dementia are our greatest teachers. How many religious and spiritual teachings encourage us to live in the present moment? We are encouraged to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future, for all we really have is the present moment. Our friends in the 12-step programs encourage us to live “one day at a time” and, for someone in the throes of addiction, that might mean living “one minute at a time” or “one second at a time”. Who better exemplifies living in the present moment than children and people with Alzheimer’s and Dementia?
Leslie Hyland Rodgers http://symphonyofsoul.org
Dementia forces us to grapple with the reality that no one is a fixed entity — not you, not me, not anyone. (Who among us is the same person we were at 18 as we are now?) If we consult the prophet Jonah or check out Moses’ negotiations with God, we must also consider that even the Creator is not static, that even God may change.
What if we begin to conceive of God as abiding, dynamic presence rather than distant, rational ruler? A God who is just as present to the post-dementia person as to the pre-dementia person? A God whose relationship with the person changes as the person changes?
If, eternally speaking, the person is no more or less “real” today than she was 30 years ago, then perhaps the “real” problem is our inability as bystanders to offer our presence to the post-dementia person.
No doubt, opening ourselves to a person with dementia, with their puzzling and sometimes jarring responses to the world, is a herculean task. When I spend time with individuals with advanced Alzheimer’s, I can expect no ego-stroking return on investment, no affirmations of a job well done.
Offering one’s presence to a person with dementia means letting go of our need for rational interchanges, direct social cues, logical conclusions. It often means letting go of words altogether and entering entirely into the realm of affect and intuition.
It is lovely to think that the loss of this world is a ticket price to the inheritance of the next. Maybe we step through this world as if through a corridor. A beautiful comment by Bronson Alcott, friend of Emerson and father of Louisa May Alcott, ties together the themes of failing memory and the world to come. As he grew older, Emerson started to lose his memory. He tried to get around it - once, forgetting the term "umbrella," he called it "the thing that strangers take away" - but it troubled him. He was consoled by Alcott, who made reference to the Platonic legend that human beings know all about this world but lose that knowledge the moment we are born. Likewise, he said that as we get older, we start to lose knowledge of this world in the form of failing memory, to prepare us for the next one. Each time we cannot remember something about this world, it is not a failing but a letting go.
Rabbi David Wolpe "Making Loss Matter: Creating Meaning in Difficult Times" p. 203