דין ימי הסליחות וער"ה:
באהבת הקב"ה את עמו ישראל הרבה להטיב אותנו וצונו לשוב לפניו בכל עת שנחטא ואף שהתשובה טובה בכל עת מ"מ חדש אלול הוא מובחר ומוכן יותר שמקובל תשובתו משאר ימות השנה לפי שימים אלו הם ימי רצון מעת נבחרנו לעם...
Although teshuvah is accepted at any time, the month of Elul is a time when teshuvah is more readily accepted because it has been designated as days of favor ever since we were chosen to be His nation.
What does teshuvah mean?
Most people translate it as repentance. The Torah tells us differently:
(י) תָשׁוּב֙ אֶל־יקוק...
(10) once you return to your God יקוק with all your heart and soul.
In other words, returning to the path G-d set for us when we were born, the path that our souls recognize as home-bound, the path of goodness of becoming a better person, a different person, not a perfect person (The Power of Teshuvah by Rabbi Heshey Kleinman, page 61).
Where does teshuvah come from?
שִׁבְעָה דְּבָרִים נִבְרְאוּ קוֹדֶם שֶׁנִּבְרָא הָעוֹלָם אֵלּוּ הֵן... וּתְשׁוּבָה
Seven phenomena were created before the world was created, and they are... repentance
(ד) בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹקִים, שִׁשָּׁה דְבָרִים קָדְמוּ לִבְרִיאַת הָעוֹלָם, יֵשׁ מֵהֶן שֶׁנִּבְרְאוּ, וְיֵשׁ מֵהֶן שֶׁעָלוּ בַּמַּחֲשָׁבָה לְהִבָּרְאוֹת... רַבִּי אַהֲבָה בְּרַבִּי זְעִירָא אָמַר אַף הַתְּשׁוּבָה...
(4) "In the beginning of God's creating..." - Six things preceded the creation of the world; some of them were created and some of them were decided to be created... Rabbi Ahavah said in the name of Rabbi Ze'ira: Even repentance was...
(ז) תשב אנוש עד דכא. אמר רבי אבהו גדולה תשובה שקדמה לבריאת עולם...
אָמַר לֵיהּ קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא, הָא אַתְקִינַת תְּשׁוּבָה עַד לָא בָרָאתִי עַלְמָא...
The Holy One, blessed be He, replied, 'I created repentance before I created the world.'
(א) ראה מה יפה התשובה, אמר הקב"ה שובו אלי ואשובה אליכם (מלאכי לג ז), שאם ביד אדם כמה עונות והוא שב לפני הקב"ה הוא מעלה עליו כאילו לא חטא...
(1) See how lovely repentance (rt.: ShVB) is! The Holy One said (in Mal. 3:7): RETURN (rt.: ShVB) UNTO ME AND I WILL RETURN (rt.: ShVB) UNTO YOU. For, if there are some sins on one's hand and that person returns to the Holy One, he credits him as if he had not sinned...
(יב) שַׁעֲרֵי תְּשׁוּבָה לְעוֹלָם פְּתוּחִים...
(12) The gates of returning to Hashem are forever open
שֶׁאֵין לְךָ דָּבָר שֶׁעוֹמֵד בִּפְנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה...
There is not a thing to stand in the way of repentance.
(קכט) אפילו עשה תשובה - טעם דעה זו דס"ל דאע"פ שאין לך דבר שעומד בפני התשובה מ"מ אין קטיגור נעשה סניגור דבידים אלו שהרג את הנפש אין ראוי לישא את כפיו אע"פ שעשה תשובה. דחף אשה הרה והפילה נושא את כפיו דאין חייבין מיתה על עוברין [אחרונים]:
ושוקד על תקנת הנפש החוטאת. שגם אם כבר נטבעה בעומק מצולת הרע. עכ''ז תחזור כל דבר למקומו ומקורו בלתי ידח מנו נדח:
He eagerly anticipates the rectification of the sinning Neffesh, for even if it is already drowning in the evil depths, even so each thing will return to its place and source—it will not be permanently pushed aside.
What type of teshuvah does Yom Kippur NOT atone for?
מַתְנִי׳ עֲבֵירוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵירוֹ — אֵין יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר, עַד שֶׁיְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵירוֹ.
MISHNA: Transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person.
ואם עשית לחברך רע קימעא יהא בעיניך הרבה...
If you’ve done your friend just a little bit of harm, think of it as a lot...
A wise woman once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Rav Shlomo Ganzfried zt”l says an eye opening statement:
(יד) וְלֹא יַמְתִּין עַד עֶרֶב יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים אֶלָּא יַקְדִּים אֶת עַצְמוֹ הַיּוֹם לְבַקֵּשׁ מֵחֲבֵרוֹ מְחִילָה.
(14) You should not wait until erev Yom Kippur, but, promptly, without delay, you should ask forgiveness of your friends, [neighbors, and family.]
שֶׁזְּרִיזִין מַקְדִּימִים לְמִצְוֹת...
The vigilant are early in the performance of mitzvot...
For those who are married, this includes his spouse, children and his own siblings (see Aruch HaShulchan 606:4).
Regarding the details of seeking forgiveness from one's fellow man, see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 606:1; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 131:4; Seifer Maddah, Hilchos Teshuvah 2:9, 10; Orchos Tzadikim 26:113 and Love Your Neighbor by Zelig Pliskin, pages 82 - 83.
כׇּל הַמַּעֲבִיר עַל מִדּוֹתָיו — מַעֲבִירִין לוֹ עַל כׇּל פְּשָׁעָיו.
With regard to whoever forgoes his reckonings with others for injustices done to him, the heavenly court in turn forgoes punishment for all his sins.
When one does not calculate the exact measure of retribution that his attacker deserves; rather he tolerantly drops the entire matter and goes on his way (See ArtScroll Rosh Hashanah 17a, footnote 37), Hashem’s Attribute of Justice relinquishes its right to exact punishment for his transgressions as well (Ibid., footnote 38).
כׇּל הַמְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת — מְרַחֲמִין עָלָיו מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם.
Anyone who has compassion for God’s creatures will receive compassion from Heaven.
If someone did something to you that you feel is unforgivable, consult with your mentor or Rav on how to deal with the situation.
How does one begin to do teshuvah?
First, one needs to desire the will to do teshuvah and then Hashem will assist him.
בָּא לִיטָּהֵר — מְסַיְּיעִים אוֹתוֹ.
However, if he comes in order to become purified, not only is he allowed to do so, but they, in Heaven, assist him.
בָּא לִטָּהֵר — מְסַיְּיעִין אוֹתוֹ...
If one comes to purify, they assist him.
בא לטהר מסייעין אותו:
If one comes in order to become purified, not only is he allowed to do so, but they, in Heaven, assist him.
בא לטהר מסייעין אותו...
Concerning one who comes in order to become pure, he is assisted from Heaven...
וְזֹאת הֲלֹא יָדוּעַ, כִּי הִשְׁתַּנּוּת הַטֶּבַע תִּוָּלֵד רַק מִלִּמּוּד וְהֶרְגֵּל רַב, וְלָכֵן הַיְסוֹד הָעִקָּרִי וְהָעַמּוּד הַנָּכוֹן, לְהָכִין אֶת עַצְמוֹ לִשְׁמִירָה מֵהָעֲבֵרוֹת וַעֲשִׂיַּת הַמִּצְוֹת, הוּא רַק הַלִּמּוּד הָרַב בַּהֲלָכָה זוֹ הַנּוֹגַעַת לַעֲבֵרָה זוֹ אוֹ לְמִצְוָה זוֹ, וּבִפְרָט בָּעִיּוּן הָדֵק הֵיטֵב, כִּי זֶה הַלִּמּוּד עוֹשֶׂה קִנְיָן חָזָק בַּנֶּפֶשׁ, לִהְיוֹת הָעֲבֵרָה מְרֻחֶקֶת מִמֶּנּוּ בְּטֶבַע:
It is known that effectively changing one’s nature can only come about through significant learning and conditioning. Therefore, the primary foundation and correct pillar with which to prepare oneself to be guarded from sin and to perform mitzvos is the comprehensive study of that particular law or mitzvah. Specifically, it is learning with detailed analysis [that will be effective], since it is this type of study that makes a strong acquisition in the soul and that will thus result in distancing the sin from one’s nature.
(ב) שכל האדם נפעל כפי פעלותיו...
(2) A man is acted upon according to his actions...
What book should one read?
As the phrase goes, “Different strokes for different folks.” Here are a few books:
- The Power of Teshuvah by Rabbi Heshy Kleinman
- Reclaiming the Self by DovBer Pinson
- Tal Chayim by Rav Shmuel Tal
- Teshuvah, Restoring Life by Rabbi Reuven Leuchter
How does one, as an individual, determine what he needs to rectify?
(א) [מט] כל אחד ידע שבמה שיצרו תוקפו ביותר הוא כלי מוכן לאותם דברים ביותר להיות נקיים וזכים אצלו. ובדברים שהרבה לפשוע בהם ידע שהוא כלי מוכן להיות דייקא באותו דבר נקי ובר לבב...
(1) 49. Each person knows that in precisely that area in which his inclination attacks him greatly, he becomes a prepared vessel in precisely those matters to be clean and purified. And in matters in which he sins greatly, he should know he is becoming a prepared vessel to be, precisely in that matter in which he sins, clean and pure of heart.
Rav Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as the Steipler Gaon says the following:
"When one overcomes [his yeitzer hara] and withstands the test, Hashem’s Name is sanctified greatly and the person’s merit is awesome and wondrous. Even in this world, the person will, in the long run, see gratification. For any pleasure from which a person refrains so as to honor Heaven will be repaid to him in another way, in a permissible manner, over the course of time (Karyana D’Igarta 1:133)
Yet, understand, that no matter how low one sinks, no matter how deeply he is immersed in a web of immoral thought and behavior, he is still obligated in all the Torah’s mitzvos and will receive a reward in the Next World for performing them. However, the reward will be granted only after his soul has been purified of the transgressions he has committed (Ibid. I, #12)
Through overcoming his desires, one brings great sanctification of Hashem’s… and merits incredible heavenly assistance in all matters be it in studying Torah or improving one’s character and even in matters pertaining to this world [Ibid. 15 (2)].
What should one’s outlook on teshuvah be?
Strengthen yourself with teshuvah; do not slacken. Hope is not lost and there is a reward for your efforts (Zos Brisi by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, page 119)
(ב) אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, בָּנַי, פִּתְחוּ לִי פֶּתַח אֶחָד שֶׁל תְּשׁוּבָה כְּחֻדָּהּ שֶׁל מַחַט, וַאֲנִי פּוֹתֵחַ לָכֶם פְּתָחִים שֶׁיִּהְיוּ עֲגָלוֹת וּקְרוֹנִיּוֹת נִכְנָסוֹת בּוֹ.
(2) Rabbi Yasa said: The Holy One blessed be He said to Israel: My children, open for Me one opening of repentance like the eye of the needle, and I will open for you openings that wagons and carriages enter through it.
וְאַל יְדַמֶּה אָדָם בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהוּא מְרֻחָק מִמַּעֲלַת הַצַּדִּיקִים מִפְּנֵי הָעֲוֹנוֹת וְהַחֲטָאוֹת שֶׁעָשָׂה. אֵין הַדָּבָר כֵּן אֶלָּא אָהוּב וְנֶחְמָד הוּא לִפְנֵי הַבּוֹרֵא כְּאִלּוּ לֹא חָטָא מֵעוֹלָם...
Let not a penitent man imagine that he is removed at a distance from the degree of the righteous on account of the iniquities and sins which he had committed. It is not so, forsooth, but the Creator considers him beloved and desirable as if he had ever known of no sin.
שאין הקב"ה בא בטרוניא עם בריותיו.
The Holy One, Blessed be He, does not deal tyrannically [beteruneya] with His creations, but wants them to feel that they have been judged fairly.
שֶׁאֵין הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בָּא בְּטַרְחוּת עִם בְּרִיּוֹתָיו.
(א) לֹא בָּא עַל הָאָדָם אֶלָּא לְפִי כֹּחוֹ,
(1) He does not expect a person to perform more than according to his capacity
One who seeks to purify himself from his transgression, Heaven will assist him and ultimately, he will gain the upper hand (Zechor L’Miriyam by Rav Yisrael Meir HaKohein Kagan, chapter 1, paragraph “וכן הדבר בענינינו”)
(א) [קנד] כשם שצריך אדם להאמין בהש"י כך צריך אח"כ להאמין בעצמו. ר"ל שיש להש"י עסק עמו ושאיננו פועל בטל שבין לילה כו' וכחיתו שדה שלאחר מיתתם נאבדו ואינם. רק צריך להאמין כי נפשו ממקור החיים ית"ש והש"י מתענג ומשתעשע בה כשעושת רצונו.
Just as one is required to trust in Hashem, so, too, he must believe in himself. That is to say, [one must recognize] that Hashem is concerned with him, and that he is not like a useless worker ‘who lived [one] night and perished after one night’ (Yonah 4:10) - [that is, he is not] like the animals in the field, who upon their death are gone and are no longer [relevant]. Rather, he must believe that his soul is from the Source of Life, Hashem, and that Hashem derives pleasure and delights in [his soul], when he performs His will.
See also Ben Torah by Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky, pages 23-26 and The Inside Story: The Boy Who Asked Trump to Pardon Rubashkin: A Riveting Tale of What One Person Can Accomplish and The Story of the Boy Who Asked Trump to Pardon Rubashkin, As Related by Rabbi Y. Hisiger which exemplifies Rav Tzadok’s statement]
With Hashem’s help, in the merit of returning to Him, may He bring us back to the Land that our forefathers possessed!