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Vayyigash 5786 Shabbat PM

וְלֹֽא־יָכֹ֨ל יוֹסֵ֜ף לְהִתְאַפֵּ֗ק לְכֹ֤ל הַנִּצָּבִים֙ עָלָ֔יו וַיִּקְרָ֕א הוֹצִ֥יאוּ כׇל־אִ֖ישׁ מֵעָלָ֑י וְלֹא־עָ֤מַד אִישׁ֙ אִתּ֔וֹ בְּהִתְוַדַּ֥ע יוֹסֵ֖ף אֶל־אֶחָֽיו׃

Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.

(ח) אָמַר רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָן, לְסַכָּנָה גְדוֹלָה יָרַד יוֹסֵף, שֶׁאִם הֲרָגוּהוּ אֶחָיו, אֵין בְּרִיָּה בָּעוֹלָם מַכִּירוֹ. וְלָמָּה אָמַר הוֹצִיאוּ כָל אִישׁ מֵעָלָי. אֶלָּא כָּךְ אָמַר יוֹסֵף בְּלִבּוֹ, מוּטָב שֶׁאֵהָרֵג וְלֹא אֲבַיֵּשׁ אֶת אַחַי בִּפְנֵי הַמִּצְרִים.

(טו) כֵּיוָן שֶׁרָאָה יוֹסֵף שֶׁהָיְתָה לָהֶם בּוּשָׁה גְדוֹלָה, אָמַר לָהֶן, גְּשׁוּ נָא אֵלַי, וַיִּגָּשׁוּ. וְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד הָיָה מְנַשְּׁקוֹ וּבוֹכֶה עָלָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיְנַשֵּׁק לְכָל אֶחָיו וַיֵּבְךְִ עֲלֵיהֶם. וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁלֹּא פִיֵּס יוֹסֵף אֶת אֶחָיו אֶלָּא מִתּוֹךְ בִּכְיָה, כָּךְ כְּשֶׁיִּגְאַל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, מִתּוֹךְ בִּכְיָה הוּא גוֹאֲלָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: בִּבְכִי יָבֹאוּ וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים אוֹבִילֵם אוֹלִיכֵם אֶל נַחֲלֵי מַיִם בְּדֶרֶךְ יָשָׁר לֹא יִכָּשְׁלוּ בָּהּ כִּי הָיִיתִי לְיִשְׂרָאֵל לְאָב וְאֶפְרַיִם בְּכֹרִי הוּא (ירמיה לא, ח).

(8) R. Samuel the son of Nahman remarked: Then Joseph placed himself in an extremely precarious position, for if his brothers had killed him, not a single person would have been aware of it. Why did he say: Cause every man to go out from me (Gen. 45:1)? Joseph had said to himself: “I would rather die than shame my brothers before the Egyptians.”

When Joseph saw (that they were extremely embarrassed, he said to them: Come near to me, I pray you (Gen. 45:4). As each one of them approached, he kissed him and wept with him, as is said: And he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them (ibid., v. 15). Just as Joseph comforted his brothers while they were weeping, so the Holy One, blessed be He, will redeem Israel while she weeps, as it is said: They shall come with weeping, and with supplications will I lead them; I will cause them to walk by rivers of waters, in a straight way wherein they shall not stumble (Jer. 31:9).

(ח) אָמַר רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָן, לְסַכָּנָה גְדוֹלָה יָרַד יוֹסֵף, שֶׁאִם הֲרָגוּהוּ אֶחָיו, אֵין בְּרִיָּה בָּעוֹלָם מַכִּירוֹ. וְלָמָּה אָמַר הוֹצִיאוּ כָל אִישׁ מֵעָלָי. אֶלָּא כָּךְ אָמַר יוֹסֵף בְּלִבּוֹ, מוּטָב שֶׁאֵהָרֵג וְלֹא אֲבַיֵּשׁ אֶת אַחַי בִּפְנֵי הַמִּצְרִים.

(טו) כֵּיוָן שֶׁרָאָה יוֹסֵף שֶׁהָיְתָה לָהֶם בּוּשָׁה גְדוֹלָה, אָמַר לָהֶן, גְּשׁוּ נָא אֵלַי, וַיִּגָּשׁוּ. וְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד הָיָה מְנַשְּׁקוֹ וּבוֹכֶה עָלָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיְנַשֵּׁק לְכָל אֶחָיו וַיֵּבְךְִ עֲלֵיהֶם. וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁלֹּא פִיֵּס יוֹסֵף אֶת אֶחָיו אֶלָּא מִתּוֹךְ בִּכְיָה, כָּךְ כְּשֶׁיִּגְאַל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, מִתּוֹךְ בִּכְיָה הוּא גוֹאֲלָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: בִּבְכִי יָבֹאוּ וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים אוֹבִילֵם אוֹלִיכֵם אֶל נַחֲלֵי מַיִם בְּדֶרֶךְ יָשָׁר לֹא יִכָּשְׁלוּ בָּהּ כִּי הָיִיתִי לְיִשְׂרָאֵל לְאָב וְאֶפְרַיִם בְּכֹרִי הוּא (ירמיה לא, ח).

(8) R. Samuel the son of Nahman remarked: Then Joseph placed himself in an extremely precarious position, for if his brothers had killed him, not a single person would have been aware of it. Why did he say: Cause every man to go out from me (Gen. 45:1)? Joseph had said to himself: “I would rather die than shame my brothers before the Egyptians.”

When Joseph saw (that they were extremely embarrassed, he said to them: Come near to me, I pray you (Gen. 45:4). As each one of them approached, he kissed him and wept with him, as is said: And he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them (ibid., v. 15). Just as Joseph comforted his brothers while they were weeping, so the Holy One, blessed be He, will redeem Israel while she weeps, as it is said: They shall come with weeping, and with supplications will I lead them; I will cause them to walk by rivers of waters, in a straight way wherein they shall not stumble (Jer. 31:9).

Rabbi Shai Held, The Heart of Torah, Vayigash
Joseph, like Tamar just a few chapters earlier, would rather die than humiliate another person. Those whose feelings he wants to protect have hurt him immensely and caused him great pain and suffering. Perhaps, in learning from these biblical models, we are meant to reason as follows: If Tamar and Joseph, each nursing such deep wounds, nevertheless refuse to humiliate those who have aggrieved them, even at the price of their own lives, how much more so must we subdue the impulse to shame and humiliate.

וְעַתָּ֣ה ׀ אַל־תֵּעָ֣צְב֗וּ וְאַל־יִ֙חַר֙ בְּעֵ֣ינֵיכֶ֔ם כִּֽי־מְכַרְתֶּ֥ם אֹתִ֖י הֵ֑נָּה כִּ֣י לְמִֽחְיָ֔ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֱלֹהִ֖ים לִפְנֵיכֶֽם׃

Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.

למחיה. לִהְיוֹת לָכֶם לְמִחְיָה:

למחיה FOR THE PRESERVATION OF LIFE — i.e. that I may be to you for a preservation of life.

ובזה יתורץ מה שאמר יוסף בדבריו (בראשית מה, ה), ועתה אל תעצבו. רמז להם עתה אל תעצבו כי הוא לטובה, אבל בהחלק מלכות בית דוד יש עצב. ויתוקן ע"י משיח בן יוסף שילחם להחזיר המלוכה למשיח בן דוד:

We can now better understand why Joseph said to his brothers ועתה אל תעצבו, "Now do not be distressed" (45,5). He indicated that his present role did not give any rise to distress, though there might be a part he would play in the future which would cause distress to the dynasty of (Yehudah) David. Eventually even the regrettable part that he would play in the interval would be repaired by his role as the משיח בן יוסף.

למחיה. לִהְיוֹת לָכֶם לְמִחְיָה:

למחיה FOR THE PRESERVATION OF LIFE — i.e. that I may be to you for a preservation of life.