Toldot 5785 - Wells, Water, Strife, Shalom || From impasse to broadminded coexistence

ByRabbi Anita Josefa Barzman MD Founder, micro-mishkan.net

Parashat Toldot offers us an opportunity to ponder the reality of an impasse born out of envy, which I suggest is always narrow-minded; and similarly to ponder: Is it possible to overcome envy and contention, to move towards a broad-minded connectedness?

Our template for these considerations is a study of Isaac's wells. When, due to a famine in Canaan, Isaac relocates to Gerar, in the Negev (as did his father Abraham), there are two episodes that arise from envy and mistrust. First, Isaac instructs his wife Rebecca to say that she is his sister, rather than his wife, left King Abimelech have such strong desire for Rebecca that he would harm Isaac; and secondly, after the resolution of the interlude with Rebecca and Abimelech, when Isaac settles in Gerar, he is so successful that the people who live there become envious of him, and "stop up" his wells:

בראשית כ״ו:י״ג-י״ז

(יג) וַיִּגְדַּ֖ל הָאִ֑ישׁ וַיֵּ֤לֶךְ הָלוֹךְ֙ וְגָדֵ֔ל עַ֥ד כִּֽי־גָדַ֖ל מְאֹֽד׃(יד) וַֽיְהִי־ל֤וֹ מִקְנֵה־צֹאן֙ וּמִקְנֵ֣ה בָקָ֔ר וַעֲבֻדָּ֖ה רַבָּ֑ה וַיְקַנְא֥וּ אֹת֖וֹ פְּלִשְׁתִּֽים׃(טו) וְכׇל־הַבְּאֵרֹ֗ת אֲשֶׁ֤ר חָֽפְרוּ֙ עַבְדֵ֣י אָבִ֔יו בִּימֵ֖י אַבְרָהָ֣ם אָבִ֑יו סִתְּמ֣וּם פְּלִשְׁתִּ֔ים וַיְמַלְא֖וּם עָפָֽר׃

Genesis 26:13-17

(13) and the man [Isaac] grew richer and richer until he was very wealthy:(14) he acquired flocks and herds, and a large household, so that the Philistines envied him.(15) And the Philistines stopped up all the wells which his father’s servants had dug in the days of his father Abraham, filling them with earth.

The wells that Abraham had dug were stopped up- סִתְּמ֣וּם.
Interestingly, this verbal root - √סתם - gives us the word for impasse: סִתּום

At this critical time in Jewish history, it seems particularly urgent for us to fearlessly explore the ramifications of impasse and contention.

בראשית כ״ו:י״ח-כ״א

(יח) וַיָּ֨שׇׁב יִצְחָ֜ק וַיַּחְפֹּ֣ר ׀ אֶת־בְּאֵרֹ֣ת הַמַּ֗יִם אֲשֶׁ֤ר חָֽפְרוּ֙ בִּימֵי֙ אַבְרָהָ֣ם אָבִ֔יו וַיְסַתְּמ֣וּם פְּלִשְׁתִּ֔ים אַחֲרֵ֖י מ֣וֹת אַבְרָהָ֑ם וַיִּקְרָ֤א לָהֶן֙ שֵׁמ֔וֹת כַּשֵּׁמֹ֕ת אֲשֶׁר־קָרָ֥א לָהֶ֖ן אָבִֽיו׃(יט) וַיַּחְפְּר֥וּ עַבְדֵֽי־יִצְחָ֖ק בַּנָּ֑חַל וַיִּ֨מְצְאוּ־שָׁ֔ם בְּאֵ֖ר מַ֥יִם חַיִּֽים׃(כ) וַיָּרִ֜יבוּ רֹעֵ֣י גְרָ֗ר עִם־רֹעֵ֥י יִצְחָ֛ק לֵאמֹ֖ר לָ֣נוּ הַמָּ֑יִם וַיִּקְרָ֤א שֵֽׁם־הַבְּאֵר֙ עֵ֔שֶׂק כִּ֥י הִֽתְעַשְּׂק֖וּ עִמּֽוֹ׃(כא) וַֽיַּחְפְּרוּ֙ בְּאֵ֣ר אַחֶ֔רֶת וַיָּרִ֖יבוּ גַּם־עָלֶ֑יהָ וַיִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמָ֖הּ שִׂטְנָֽה׃

Genesis 26:18-21

(18) Isaac dug anew the wells which had been dug in the days of his father Abraham and which the Philistines had stopped up after Abraham’s death; and he gave them the same names that his father had given them.(19) But when Isaac’s servants, digging in the wadi, found there a well of spring water,(20) the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen, saying, “The water is ours.” He named that well Esek,*Esek I.e., “contention.” because they contended with him.(21) And when they dug another well, they disputed over that one also; so he named it Sitnah.*Sitnah I.e., “harassment.”

Isaac and his servants dig new wells, which leads first to contention - Esek - and then to hatred - Sitnah; in other words, although Isaac has relocated, the impasse persists.

late Hostility, contention, suspicion, impasse.

As I was typing this sentence, autocorrect turned contentioninto connection.

Impasse: a situation in which progress is blocked; an insurmountable difficulty; stalemate; deadlock; seemingly unsolvable distance and disconnection between the parties.

What is necessary to move through an impasse?

At this season - late November 2024, during the week of Toldot 5785 - I invite you to join me in considering how we can transform contention into connection.

Our Parashah will soon suggest that the necessary factor is movement, a shift in perspective and attitude, to transform contention into connection:

בראשית כ״ו:כ״ב

(כב)וַיַּעְתֵּ֣ק מִשָּׁ֗ם וַיַּחְפֹּר֙ בְּאֵ֣ר אַחֶ֔רֶת וְלֹ֥א רָב֖וּ עָלֶ֑יהָ וַיִּקְרָ֤א שְׁמָהּ֙ רְחֹב֔וֹת וַיֹּ֗אמֶר כִּֽי־עַתָּ֞ה הִרְחִ֧יב ה׳ לָ֖נוּ וּפָרִ֥ינוּ בָאָֽרֶץ׃

Genesis 26:22

(22)He moved from there and dug yet another well, and they did not quarrel over it; so he called it Rehoboth, saying, “Now at last ה׳ has granted us ample space*ample space Heb. hirḥib, connected with “Rehoboth.” to increase in the land.”

;וַיַּעְתֵּ֣ק מִשָּׁ֗ם"So / and he moved from there..."

From where is Isaac moving, in order to discover a new well that will not be the source of contention or hatred?

It is necessary for Isaac to move off, to change his position, from the place of contention, in order for a well that is רְחֹב֔וֹת - broad and expansive.

Isaac's servants were contending with the herdsmen of Gerar about access to wells - the source of sustenance and life. They were in an impasse. The old wells which Isaac's servants attempted to revive were called Esek (contention) and Sitna (harassment). Hostility, contention, suspicion. Impasse.

It was only when Isaac וַיַּעְתֵּ֣ק - moved off, changed his position - that a new well could be found - רְחֹב֔וֹת - promising breadth and expansiveness. We don't have details about how Isaac changed his position: did he simply move a mile away? Did he need to travel for a day to arrive at the new place where expansive source could be found?

Is this more of an inner shift, a change of attitude?

With these questions in mind, let's spend some time with the word רְחֹב֔וֹת - Rehoboth; the name of the new well that overcame the impasse.

Rehoboth is a proper / place name, and is also a plural noun meaning wide places or streets; the singular form of this noun - רְחֹב (rechov) - means street; thus, there is something of a public / communal aspect to this sort of breadth or broadness:

The basic verbal root of this word is √רחב - to be or to grow wide, be or grow large.

Here is a beautiful lesson from this Parashah: when we can shift our position to one in which our attitude is wide and spacious, then contention can transform to connection - as Genesius notes, "metaphorically, as a heart that is expanded with joy", as in Isaiah 60:5:

ישעיהו ס׳:ה׳

(ה) אָ֤ז תִּרְאִי֙ וְנָהַ֔רְתְּ וּפָחַ֥דוְרָחַ֖בלְבָבֵ֑ךְ כִּֽי־יֵהָפֵ֤ךְ עָלַ֙יִךְ֙ הֲמ֣וֹן יָ֔ם חֵ֥יל גּוֹיִ֖ם יָבֹ֥אוּ לָֽךְ׃

Isaiah 60:5

(5) Then will you behold, and you will flow together; your heart will be in awe, and will enlarge, for the wealth of the sea shall pass on to you, the riches of nations shall flow to you.

תהילים קי״ט:ל״ב

(לב) דֶּֽרֶךְ־מִצְוֺתֶ֥יךָ אָר֑וּץ כִּ֖י תַרְחִ֣יב לִבִּֽי׃ {פ}

Psalms 119:32

(32) I eagerly pursue Your commandments, for You broaden my understanding.

As this episode with Isaac and Abimelech draws to a close, toward the end of Parashat Toldot, we will see that the state of being broad-minded, expansive, is a manifestation of God being with us, which is perceptible to our adversaries.

And when we are in this state, we can be in a state of wholeness, peace, shalom, with those who were previously our adversaries:

בראשית כ״ו:כ״ו-ל״א

(כו) וַאֲבִימֶ֕לֶךְ הָלַ֥ךְ אֵלָ֖יו מִגְּרָ֑ר וַאֲחֻזַּת֙ מֵֽרֵעֵ֔הוּ וּפִיכֹ֖ל שַׂר־צְבָאֽוֹ׃(כז) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֲלֵהֶם֙ יִצְחָ֔ק מַדּ֖וּעַ בָּאתֶ֣ם אֵלָ֑י וְאַתֶּם֙ שְׂנֵאתֶ֣ם אֹתִ֔י וַתְּשַׁלְּח֖וּנִי מֵאִתְּכֶֽם׃(כח) וַיֹּאמְר֗וּ רָא֣וֹ רָאִ֘ינוּ֮ כִּֽי־הָיָ֣ה ה׳ ׀ עִמָּךְ֒ וַנֹּ֗אמֶר תְּהִ֨י נָ֥א אָלָ֛ה בֵּינוֹתֵ֖ינוּ בֵּינֵ֣ינוּ וּבֵינֶ֑ךָ וְנִכְרְתָ֥ה בְרִ֖ית עִמָּֽךְ׃(כט) אִם־תַּעֲשֵׂ֨ה עִמָּ֜נוּ רָעָ֗ה כַּאֲשֶׁר֙ לֹ֣א נְגַֽעֲנ֔וּךָ וְכַאֲשֶׁ֨ר עָשִׂ֤ינוּ עִמְּךָ֙ רַק־ט֔וֹב וַנְּשַׁלֵּֽחֲךָ֖ בְּשָׁל֑וֹם אַתָּ֥ה עַתָּ֖ה בְּר֥וּךְ ה׳׃(ל) וַיַּ֤עַשׂ לָהֶם֙ מִשְׁתֶּ֔ה וַיֹּאכְל֖וּ וַיִּשְׁתּֽוּ׃(לא)וַיַּשְׁכִּ֣ימוּ בַבֹּ֔קֶר וַיִּשָּׁבְע֖וּ אִ֣ישׁ לְאָחִ֑יו וַיְשַׁלְּחֵ֣ם יִצְחָ֔ק וַיֵּלְכ֥וּ מֵאִתּ֖וֹ בְּשָׁלֽוֹם׃

Genesis 26:26-31

(26) And Abimelech came to him from Gerar, with Ahuzzath his councilor and Phicol chief of his troops.(27) Isaac said to them, “Why have you come to me, seeing that you have been hostile to me and have driven me away from you?”(28) And they said, “We now see plainly that ה׳ has been with you, and we thought: Let there be a sworn treaty between our two parties, between you and us. Let us make a pact with you(29) that you will not do us harm, just as we have not molested you but have always dealt kindly with you and sent you away in peace. From now on, be you blessed of יהוה!”(30) Then he made for them a feast, and they ate and drank.(31) Early in the morning, they exchanged oaths. Isaac then bade them farewell, and they departed from him in peace.

When we dig deeply we can open new possibilities and depths of discovery about ourselves and our relationships, transforming contention to connection, strengthening our foundation of shalom.

שמואל ב כ״ב:ל״ז

(לז)תַּרְחִ֥יב צַעֲדִ֖י תַּחְתֵּ֑נִי וְלֹ֥א מָעֲד֖וּ קַרְסֻלָּֽי׃

II Samuel 22:37

(37)You have enlarged my steps under me, so that my feet have not slipped.

משלי ה׳:ט״ז

יָפ֣וּצוּ מַעְיְנֹתֶ֣יךָ ח֑וּצָה בָּ֝רְחֹב֗וֹת פַּלְגֵי־מָֽיִם׃

Proverbs 5:16

Your springs will gush forth
In streams in the public squares [Rehoboth].

Contention can transform into connection.