What should a child be expected to do for their parents?
How should a child behave toward their parents?
What responsibilities should a child have toward their parent?
What else does a child need to do for their parent in order to have an ideal parent-child relationship?
12 Honor/grant dignity to your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you
1. What does it mean to honor or grant dignity to someone?
2. This is the fifth of the ten commandments - why do you think it is important enough to be here?
(ג) אִ֣ישׁ אִמּ֤וֹ וְאָבִיו֙ תִּירָ֔אוּ* וְאֶת־שַׁבְּתֹתַ֖י תִּשְׁמֹ֑רוּ אֲנִ֖י ה' אֱ-לֹהֵיכֶֽם׃
(3) A person must revere/fear/be in awe of* their mother and their father, and keep My sabbaths: I the LORD am your God.
*The word ירא connotes multiple English words, including revere, fear, and be in awe of. It is often used in regards to God (e.g. it is a mitzvah to have ירא for God). Which translation do you think fits best in this verse? Why might the same word be used in reference to attitudes towards God and towards one's parents?
3. What does it mean to revere, fear, or be in awe of someone?
4. How are reverence, fear, and awe different from honor and dignity?
5. Why do we need both this commandment and the one in Exodus?
6. Are there - or should there be - any limits to honoring and revering parents?
ת"ר איזהו מורא ואיזהו כיבוד מורא לא עומד במקומו ולא יושב במקומו ולא סותר את דבריו ולא מכריעו כיבוד מאכיל ומשקה מלביש ומכסה מכניס ומוציא
The rabbis taught: what is 'reverence' and what is 'honor'? 'Reverence' is to not stand in his place or sit in his place and to not contradict him or support his arguments; 'honor' is to feed and give to drink, clothe, transport...
7. According to this text, what is the difference between "reverence" and "honor"?
8. Do you agree with the way this text differentiates between reverence and honor?
Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
The surprising feature of the Fifth Commandment is its insistence that we owe our parents honor, while saying nothing about loving them. It is not as if the Torah is reluctant to command love: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18); “And you shall love the Lord your God” (Deut. 6:5); “You shall love the stranger” (Lev. 19:34).
Why then are we not commanded to love our parents?
I think the real reason is that the Torah realized that it is harder to command love in a relationship as intimate as that between children and parents; either the love is present or it isn’t.
In addition, many children, much as they might love their parents most of the time, go through periods of estrangement from them. Thus, what the Torah is offering us is a guideline for behavior even during those periods when we might not be feeling loving toward our parents. Even at those times when we feel our parents have not been fair to us, or even when we have seen them do something we regard as wrong, we are still obligated to honor them.
7. How does Rabbi Telushkin explain the idea of 'honouring' rather than 'loving'?
What responsibilities should a child have toward their parents? What else does a child need to do for their parents in order to have an ideal parent-child relationship?
Parents:
- In what ways should your children honor you?
- In what ways should your children revere you?
- What else is reasonable to expect of your children? In order for you to have a good relationship with your children, what do you think they need to do, and how do you think they need to treat you?
7th Graders:
- What do you think you should do to honor your parents?
- What do you think you should do to revere your parents?
- What else is reasonable for your parents to expect of you? In order for you to have a good relationship with your parents, what do you think you need to do, and how do you think you should treat them?