Mourning and Drinking

Rabbi Ḥanin said: "Wine was created only in order to comfort mourners and to reward the wicked, as it is stated: 'Give strong drink to him that is ready to perish, and wine to the bitter of soul. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more' (Proverbs 31:6)."

The Sages taught a similar baraita:

At first, they would serve wine in the mourner's house; the wealthy in white glass, and the poor in colored glass. And the poor were embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that all should serve drinks in colored glass, due to the honor of the poor.

Furthermore, at first they would uncover the faces of the wealthy who passed away and cover the faces of the poor, because their faces were blackened by famine. And the poor were embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that everyone’s face should be covered, due to the honor of the poor.

At first, the wealthy would take the deceased out for burial on a dargash, and the poor would take the deceased out

on a plain bier made from poles that were strapped together, and the poor were embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that everyone should be taken out for burial on a plain bier, due to the honor of the poor. Similarly, at first they would place incense under the beds of those who died with an intestinal disease. And those who were alive with an intestinal disease were embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that incense should be placed under everyone, due to the honor of those with an intestinal disease who were still living.

At first, they would immerse all the utensils by women who died while menstruating. And due to this, the living menstruating women were embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that the utensils that had been used by all dying women must be immersed, due to the honor of living menstruating women.

At first, they would ritually immerse all the utensils that had been used by zavin, who died. And the living zavin felt embarrassed.

The Sages instituted that the utensils that had been used by all men must be immersed, due to the honor of the living zavin.

At first, taking the dead out for burial was more difficult for the relatives than the actual death. The problem grew to the point that relatives would sometimes abandon the corpse and run away.

This lasted until Rabban Gamliel came and acted with frivolity, taken out for burial in linen garments. And the people adopted this practice after him and had themselves taken out for burial in linen garments.

It is stated:

Ten cups one drinks in the house of a mourner:

- two before the meal,

- five during the meal,

- and three after the meal.

These are the three after the meal:

- one for Grace,

- one for those who exercise charity,

- one for those who console mourners.

And when Rabban (Simeon ben) Gamliel died, they added another three:

- One for the Ḥazzan of the community,

- one for the head of the community,

- and one for Rabban Gamliel.

But when the Rabbinical authorities saw that they were getting drunk, they decreed and returned it to the original status.

Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: "The Sages instituted ten cups in the house of the mourner:

- Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines

- three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines

- and four after the meal:

- One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all;

- one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land;

- one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem;

- and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.

They added to those four:

- One, noting the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir],

- one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city,

- one, noting the Temple,

- and one, noting Rabban Gamliel.

They began and they would drink and get drunk.
Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status.

One corresponding to the hazzan - for each blessing, one drinks the wine in the glass and another is prepared for him.

One corresponding to the attendants of the city - they established a blessing upon him since they serve the city to endeavor in dealing with the corpses and other communal needs.

Leaders of the city - there were wealthy

Corresponding to the Holiness House - They established a blessing of consolation that The Omnipresent should be consoled in His house from His mourning that we mourn upon it just as we do a corpse.

To its original status - ten cups

Rashi explained that they went back to ten, but the correct understanding of this reversion is to its original number, which was that they nullified all of them and the mourner is not supposed to drink, unless it helps, since one can still get drunk off of ten cups of wine.

...It was taught in the Babylonian Talmud that the rabbis established that there should be ten glasses of wine in the mourner's house: three before the meal, three within the meal, and four following the meal. They added four further glasses, but they began drinking and getting drunk, so they returned the matter to how it used to be. Rabbi Shlomo Yitzḥaki (1040-1105), explained this as returning to 10 cups. But Rabbi Moses son of Naḥman (1194–1270), explained this as returning to not drinking except amidst the meal, since post-meal wine leads to getting drunk.
And that's what the people do.

...
Rabbi Isaac ben Judah ibn Ghiyyat (1038–1089) wrote that it was taught in Evel Rabbati that a place where they are accustomed to console mourners with eggs and lentils, they feed them; a place where they are accustomed to console them with wine and meat, they feed them. And similarly has Rabbi Moses son of Naḥman written: a place where they are accustomed to only provide a meal to a mourner of lentils and the glasses of wine that the sages established, they do; a place where they provide flavorful foods, they do, but they console first with a dish of eggs or lentils as a remembrance of mourning, and then they afterwards eat as much as would fill them. Rabbi Moses son of Naḥman wrote that they provide this meal to the mourners by eating and drinking with him and all the members of his family. And they grieve upon him and they help him with the eulogy, as it is taught that one does not provide a meal for mourners on a holiday, except relatives of the corpse. But on non-holidays, others may also provide meals for the mourners.....