The Oral Talmud with Benay Lappe and Dan Libenson Episode 57

Rabbi Yoḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yehotzadak: The Sages who discussed this issue counted the votes of those assembled and concluded in the upper story of the house of Nitza in the city of Lod: All transgressions that are mentioned in the Torah--if a person is told: Transgress this prohibition or else I will kill you, he may transgress that prohibition and not be killed. This is the halakha concerning all prohibitions except for those of idol worship, forbidden sexual relations, and bloodshed.

Rav Yehuda said that Rav said: There was an incident involving a certain man who set his eyes upon a certain woman and passion rose in his heart, to the point that he became deathly ill. And they came and asked doctors what was to be done with him. And the doctors said: He will have no cure until she engages in sexual intercourse with him. The Sages said: Let him die, and let her not engage in sexual intercourse with him. The doctors said: He can still be cured. Let her stand naked before him. The Sages said: Let him die, and let her not stand naked before him. The doctors suggested: He can still be cured! Let her converse with him from behind a fence. The Sages insisted: Let him die, and let her not converse with him behind a fence.

The Gemara comments: Rabbi Ya’akov bar Idi and Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani disagree about this issue. One of them says: The woman in question was a married woman, and the other one says: She was unmarried. The Gemara tries to clarify the issue: Granted, according to the one who says that she was a married woman, the matter is properly understood, i.e., it makes sense that we should let him die. But according to the one who says that she was unmarried, what is the reason for all this opposition? Why did the Sages say that the man must be allowed to die, rather than have the woman do as was requested? Rav Pappa says: This is due to the potential family flaw, i.e., harm to the family name, as it is not permitted to bring disgrace to the entire family in order to save the lovesick man. Rav Aḥa, son of Rav Ika, says: This is so that the daughters of Israel should not be promiscuous with regard to forbidden sexual relations. The Gemara asks: But if the woman was unmarried, let the man marry her! The Gemara answers: His mind would not have been eased by marriage, in accordance with the statement of Rabbi Yitzḥak. As Rabbi Yitzḥak says: Ever since the day the Temple was destroyed, sexual pleasure was taken away from those who engage in permitted intercourse and given to transgressors, as it is stated: “Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant” (Proverbs 9:17). Therefore, the man could have been cured only by engaging in illicit sexual interaction.