(ט) אָמַר לָהֶם, צְאוּ וּרְאוּ אֵיזוֹהִי דֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה שֶׁיִּדְבַּק בָּהּ הָאָדָם. רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר, עַיִן טוֹבָה. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר, חָבֵר טוֹב. רַבִּי יוֹסֵי אוֹמֵר, שָׁכֵן טוֹב. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר, הָרוֹאֶה אֶת הַנּוֹלָד. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר, לֵב טוֹב. אָמַר לָהֶם, רוֹאֶה אֲנִי אֶת דִּבְרֵי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲרָךְ מִדִּבְרֵיכֶם, שֶׁבִּכְלָל דְּבָרָיו דִּבְרֵיכֶם.
(9) He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the right way to which a man should cleave?
...
Rabbi Yehoshua said, a good companion.
1. What do you think about Rabbi Yehoshua's answer? Is this what you would have thought? Why might he have answered thusly?
(ו) רבי יהושע אומר חבר טוב. שידבק אל דרך הישר הזה והוא נקל לעשותו ולהיות חבר טוב לאיש אחר לאשר לבו חפץ. ולהרגיל עצמו שתהא רוח (אחרת) נוחה הימנו וכן יבא באהבה עם כל הבריות:
(6) Rabbi Yehoshua says: A good friend: That he cling to this straight path and it become easy for him to do it; and to be a good friend to the man that his heart desires, and to accustom himself that a (another) spirit be pleased from him. And thus he will come to be [on friendly terms] with all of the creatures.
2. In your own words - What is Rabbeinu Yonah's explanation for Rabbi Yehoshua's answer?
3. Why is having a good friend a means by which we can come to feel and express love for all other people as well?
(ו) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:
(6) Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: appoint for thyself a teacher, and acquire for thyself a companion and judge all men with the scale weighted in his favor.
4. Yehoshua here gives three pieces of advice. Why are these three grouped together? Is there any logic to them?
5. Why might he have chosen the verb "make" when it comes to finding a teacher, and then "acquisition" when it comes to friendship?
וקנה לך חבר כיצד מלמד שיקנה אדם חבר לעצמו
שיאכל עמו
וישתה עמו
ויקרא עמו
וישנה עמו
ויישן עמו
ויגלה לו כל סתריו.
“Acquire yourself a friend.”
And how does one do this? This is coming to teach us that one acquires for him/herself a friend in order to?
1. Eat and drink together.
2. Read and study together.
3. Sleep and share secrets together.
6. What are your thoughts about this list? Were you to compile your own list, based on your own personal experiences, how would it compare with Rabbi Natan's? Is there anything you would add? Take away? Why?
Final Wrap-up
8. What do you think about categorizing friendship as a Jewish value? Have you ever encountered the importance of Friendship elsewhere in your Jewish studies? Have you ever felt it in your own personal experiences?
9. Consider the following quote:
(ט) טוֹבִ֥ים הַשְּׁנַ֖יִם מִן־הָאֶחָ֑ד אֲשֶׁ֧ר יֵשׁ־לָהֶ֛ם שָׂכָ֥ר ט֖וֹב בַּעֲמָלָֽם׃ (י) כִּ֣י אִם־יִפֹּ֔לוּ הָאֶחָ֖ד יָקִ֣ים אֶת־חֲבֵר֑וֹ:
(9) Two are better off than one, for their hard work shall be rewarded - (10) for if one falls, the other can pick him back up.
What can we do, and/or how can we conduct ourselves in our spaces in order to promote an atmosphere which fosters such friendships?