ר' עקיבא: עיין ערך אהבה
הדף מאת: רועי הורן / בית מדרש אלול
ר' עקיבא הוא אחת הדמויות המרכזיות במסורת היהודית, והוא מזוהה יותר מכל עם ערך האהבה. מהי אהבה בעיני ר' עקיבא? כיצד הבנתו את האהבה מתבטאת בפסיקותיו ההלכתיות, וכיצד היא השפיעה על המסורת היהודית?
עקיבא ורחל: סיפור אהבה תלמודי
רבי עקיבא רועה של כלבא שבוע היה.
ראתה רחל בתו של כלבא שבוע שהוא צנוע ומעולה, אמרה לו: "אם אתקדש לך, תלך לבית המדרש?"
אמר לה: "הן". נתקדשה לו בצנעה.
שמע כלבא שבוע והוציאה מביתו והוציאה מכל נכסיו.
הלכה ונישאה לרבי עקיבא. בימות החורף היו ישנים במתבן, והיה מלקט תבן מתוך שערה. אמר לה: "אלמלא היה בידי, הייתי נותן לך ירושלים של זהב".
בא אליהו ונדמה להם כבן אדם ואמר להם: "תנו לי קצת תבן, שאשתי ילדה ואין לי במה להשכיבה".אמר רבי עקיבא לאשתו: "ראי אדם זה, שאפילו תבן אין לו". אמרה לו: "לך ולמד בבית המדרש".
הלך וישב 12 שנה בבית המדרש לפני רבי אליעזר ורבי יהושע. לסוף 12 שנה עמד וחזר לביתו, והביא עמו שנים עשר אלף תלמידים. יצאו הכול לקראתו. שמעה אשתו ויצאה אף היא לקראתו. אמרו לה השכנות: "שאלי לך בגדים ולכי והתכסי". אמרה להן: "יודע צדיק נפש בהמתו". וכשהגיעה אצלו, נפלה על פניה והיתה מנשקת את רגליו. דחפוה תלמידיו. אמר להם: "הניחוה! שלי ושלכם שלה הוא".

הסברים
  • זוהי האגדה הידועה על ראשית דרכו של ר' עקיבא. אגדה זו זכתה לעיבוד מוזיקאלי של דליה רביקוביץ' על פי השכתוב שנעשה לה ב'ספר האגדה'. יש לדעת כי התלמוד מציג גירסה שונה לחלוטין לסיפור זה במקומות אחרים.
the tanna taught us a halakha with regard to all of them, not only a man of leisure or a laborer. He asked him: But with regard to a sailor it said that the set interval for conjugal relations is six months; why, then, should he have to divorce her if he vowed to forbid these relations for only a week? He answered him: It is well known that one who has bread in his basket is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. On a fast day, one who does not have bread available in his basket suffers more than one who does have bread available and knows that he will be able to eat later. In this case as well, when a woman knows that marital relations are forbidden to her due to a vow, her suffering from waiting for her husband to return is increased. Rabba bar Rav Hanan said to Abaye: If a donkey driver who is already married wants to become a camel driver, what is the halakha? Is he permitted to change his profession in order to earn more money from his work, even though this will mean he reduces the frequency with which he engages in conjugal relations with his wife? He answered him: A woman prefers a kav, i.e., modest means, with conjugal relations to ten kav with abstinence. Consequently, he is not allowed to change his profession without her permission. § The mishna stated: For sailors, the set interval for conjugal relations is once every six months. This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Berona said that Rav said: The halakha is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer. Rav Adda bar Ahava said that Rav said: This is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer, but the Rabbis say: Students may leave their homes to study Torah for as long as two or three years without permission from their wives. Rava said: The Sages relied on Rabbi Adda bar Ahava’s opinion and performed an action like this themselves, but the results were sometimes fatal. This is as it is related about Rav Reḥumi, who would commonly study before Rava in Meḥoza: He was accustomed to come back to his home every year on the eve of Yom Kippur. One day he was particularly engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and so he remained in the study hall and did not go home. His wife was expecting him that day and continually said to herself: Now he is coming, now he is coming. But in the end, he did not come. She was distressed by this and a tear fell from her eye. At that exact moment, Rav Reḥumi was sitting on the roof. The roof collapsed under him and he died. This teaches how much one must be careful, as he was punished severely for causing anguish to his wife, even inadvertently. § When is the ideal time for Torah scholars to fulfill their conjugal obligations? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: The appropriate time for them is from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, i.e., on Friday nights. Similarly, it is stated with regard to the verse “that brings forth its fruit in its season” (Psalms 1:3): Rav Yehuda said, and some say that it was Rav Huna, and some say that it was Rav Naḥman: This is referring to one who engages in marital relations, bringing forth his fruit, from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve. It is related further that Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya and son-in-law of Rabbi Yannai, would go and sit in the study hall, and every Shabbat eve at twilight he would come to his house. When he would come, Rabbi Yannai would see a pillar of fire preceding him due to his sanctity. One day he was engrossed in the halakha he was studying, and he stayed in the study hall and did not return home. When Rabbi Yannai did not see that sign preceding him, he said to the family: Turn his bed over, as one does at times of mourning, since he must have died, reasoning that if Yehuda were alive he would not have missed his set interval for conjugal relations and would certainly have come home. What he said became “like an error that proceeds from a ruler” (Ecclesiastes 10:5), and Yehuda, son of Rabbi Ḥiyya, died. It is related further that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Ḥiyya. When he came to write the marriage contract, the girl died. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: Is there, Heaven forbid, some disqualification in these families, as it appears that God prevented this match from taking place? They sat and looked into the families’ ancestry and found that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi was descended from Shefatya ben Avital, the wife of David, whereas Rabbi Ḥiyya was descended from Shimi, David’s brother. He went and arranged for his son to marry a daughter of the household of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra. They agreed for him that they would support him for twelve years to go to study in the study hall. It was assumed that he would first go to study and afterward get married. They passed the girl in front of the groom and when he saw her he said: Let it be just six years. They passed her in front of him again and he said to them: I will marry her now and then go to study. He was then ashamed to see his father, as he thought he would reprimand him because when he saw the girl he desired her and could not wait. His father placated him and said to him: My son, you have your Maker’s perception, meaning you acted the same way that God does. The proof for this is that initially it is written: “You bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place that You, O Lord, have made for You to dwell in” (Exodus 15:17), which indicates that God’s original intention was to build a Temple for the Jewish people after they had entered Eretz Yisrael. And ultimately it is written: “And let them make Me a Sanctuary, that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8), i.e., even while they were still in the desert, which indicates that due to their closeness to God, they enjoyed greater affection and He therefore advanced what would originally have come later. After his wedding he went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back his wife had become infertile, as a consequence of spending many years without her husband. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: What should we do? If he will divorce her, people will say: This poor woman waited and hoped for naught. If he will marry another woman to beget children, people will say: This one, who bears him children, is his wife and that one, who lives with him, is his mistress. Therefore, her husband pleaded with God to have mercy on her and she was cured. Rabbi Ḥananya ben Ḥakhinai went to the study hall at the end of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai’s wedding feast. Rabbi Shimon said to him: Wait for me until I can come with you, after my days of celebration are over. However, since he wanted to learn Torah, he did not wait and went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. By the time he came back, all the paths of his city had changed and he did not know how to go to his home. He went and sat on the bank of the river and heard people calling to a certain girl: Daughter of Ḥakhinai, daughter of Ḥakhinai, fill your pitcher and come up. He said: I can conclude from this that this is our daughter, meaning his own daughter, whom he had not recognized after so many years. He followed her to his house. His wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted her eyes up, saw him and recognized him, and her heart fluttered with agitation and she passed away from the emotional stress. Rabbi Ḥananya said before God: Master of the universe, is this the reward of this poor woman? He pleaded for mercy for her and she lived. Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house, he said: I will not do what the son of Ḥakhinai, who came home suddenly with tragic consequences for his wife, did. He went and sat in the study hall in his hometown, and sent a message to his house that he had arrived. While he was sitting there his son Rabbi Oshaya, whom he did not recognize, came and sat before him. Rabbi Oshaya asked him questions about halakha, and Rabbi Ḥama saw that the halakhot of Rabbi Oshaya were incisive, i.e., he was very sharp. Rabbi Ḥama was distressed and said: If I had been here and had taught my son I would have had a child like this. Rabbi Ḥama went in to his house and his son went in with him. Rabbi Ḥama then stood up before him to honor a Torah scholar, since he thought that he wanted to ask him a matter of halakha. His wife said to him: Is there a father who stands up before his son? The Gemara comments: Rami bar Ḥama read the verse about him: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). This is referring to Rabbi Oshaya, son of Rabbi Ḥama bar Bisa, as he represented the third generation of Torah scholars in his family. The Gemara further relates: Rabbi Akiva was the shepherd of ben Kalba Savua, one of the wealthy residents of Jerusalem. The daughter of Ben Kalba Savua saw that he was humble and refined. She said to him: If I betroth myself to you, will you go to the study hall to learn Torah? He said to her: Yes. She became betrothed to him privately and sent him off to study. Her father heard this and became angry. He removed her from his house and took a vow prohibiting her from benefiting from his property. Rabbi Akiva went and sat for twelve years in the study hall. When he came back to his house he brought twelve thousand students with him, and as he approached he heard an old man saying to his wife: For how long
דיון
תחילת הסיפור של ר' עקיבא הוא הזוגיות עם רחל.
  • כיצד מבטא ר' עקיבא את אהבתו לאשתו? שימו לב שבמדרש זה ישנם גילויי רומנטיקה נדירים!
  • האם הוא מכיר לה תודה אחרי שהגיע לגדולה?
  • תנו רבנן - איזהו עשיר?
    כל שיש לו נחת רוח בעשרו, דברי ר' מאיר [...]
    רבי עקיבא אומר: כל שיש לו אשה נאה במעשים.
    The latter term is a positive mitzva to rest. And, if so, observance of a Festival is a mitzva that was commanded with both a positive mitzva to rest and a prohibition: “You shall do no manner of servile work” (Leviticus 23:8). And there is a principle that a positive mitzva, e.g., burning consecrated items whose time has expired, does not override a mitzva that was commanded with both a prohibition and a positive mitzva, e.g., observance of the Festival. By inference, the conclusion is that, specifically on a Festival, lighting with burnt oil is prohibited. During the week one may well do so. The Gemara asks: What is the reason for this distinction? It would be reasonable to say that it is prohibited to derive any benefit from teruma that became ritually impure. Rav said: Just as there is a mitzva to burn consecrated items that became ritually impure, so too, there is a mitzva to burn teruma that became ritually impure, and the Torah said: While it is being destroyed, derive benefit from it. The Gemara asks: Where did the Torah say this? Where is there an allusion to this in the Bible? The Gemara answers: It can be derived from the statement of Rav Naḥman, as Rav Naḥman said that Rabba bar Avuh said: The verse said: “And I, behold, I have given you the charge of My terumot (Numbers 18:8). From the amplification of the plural: My terumot, it is derived that the verse is speaking of two terumot, one teruma that is ritually pure and one teruma that is ritually impure. And God said: “I have given you,” i.e., it shall be yours, and you may derive benefit from it. Since there is a stringent prohibition against eating it, the benefit permitted is to burn it beneath your cooked dish. Similar forms of benefit may also be derived from burning teruma. And if you wish, say instead an alternative manner to derive this halakha, from the statement of Rabbi Abbahu, as Rabbi Abbahu said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: It is written in the confession of the tithes: I have not eaten thereof in my mourning, neither have I destroyed from it while impure” (Deuteronomy 26:14). By inference: From it you may not destroy, but you may destroy the oil of teruma that has become ritually impure. The Gemara asks: And say differently: From it you may not destroy, but you may destroy and derive benefit from burning consecrated oil that became ritually impure. The Gemara responds: That possibility is unacceptable. Is it not an a fortiori inference? If with regard to the tithe which is lenient, the Torah said: Neither have I destroyed from it, while impure, items consecrated to the Temple, which are more stringent, all the more so that it is prohibited to burn it while ritually impure. The Gemara rejects this: If so, that this matter is derived through an a fortiori inference, then, with regard to teruma as well, let us say that it is an a fortiori inference, as teruma is more stringent than tithes. If it is prohibited to benefit from tithes while they are burning, all the more so would one be prohibited to benefit from the teruma while it is burning. The Gemara answers: Doesn’t it say: From it? From there it is derived that there is an item excluded from the prohibition of burning in ritual impurity. The Gemara asks: And what did you see that led you to conclude that “from it” comes to exclude teruma? Perhaps “from it” comes to exclude consecrated items. The Gemara replies: It is reasonable that I do not exclude consecrated items from the prohibition against benefiting from its burning, as with regard to consecrated items there are many stringent elements. Their Hebrew acronym is peh, nun, kuf, ayin, kaf, samekh, which is a mnemonic for the following terms. Piggul: With regard to an offering, if, during one of the services involved in its sacrifice, i.e., slaughter, receiving the blood, bringing it to the altar, sprinkling it on the altar, the priest or the one bringing the offering entertains the thought of eating the sacrifice at a time that is unfit for eating, it is thereby invalidated. Notar: Meat of a sacrifice that remained beyond its allotted time may not be eaten and must be burned. Korban meila: One who unwittingly derives benefit from consecrated items is required to bring a guilt-offering for misuse of consecrated items. Karet:The punishment of one who eats consecrated items while ritually impure is karet. Asur leonen: An acute mourner, i.e., one whose relative died that same day and has not yet been buried, is prohibited to eat consecrated items. None of these halakhot applies to teruma. Therefore, consecrated items are more stringent than teruma, and therefore it is consecrated items that are not excluded from the prohibition against deriving benefit while ritually impure. The Gemara rejects this: On the contrary, it is teruma that I would not exclude from the prohibition, as, with regard to teruma, there are many stringent elements represented by the acronym mem, ḥet, peh, zayin, which is a mnemonic for the following: Mita: One for whom teruma is prohibited who ate it intentionally is punishable by death at the hand of Heaven. Ḥomesh: A non-priest, for whom teruma is prohibited, who unwittingly ate teruma is obligated to pay its value to the priest plus one-fifth of the sum.
    דיון
  • הסבירו את מהותו של העושר על פי ר' עקיבא.
  • מה מלמדת אותנו תובנה זו של ר' עקיבא על אישיותו? על תפיסת הזוגיות שלו?
  • רבי יהודה אומר, שיר השירים, מטמא את הידיים; וקוהלת, מחלוקת. רבי יוסי אומר, קוהלת, אינה מטמא את הידיים; ושיר השירים, מחלוקת. רבי שמעון אומר, קוהלת--מקולי בית שמאי, ומחומרי בית הלל. אמר רבי שמעון בן עזאי, מקובל אני מפי שבעים ושניים זקנים, ביום שהושיבו את רבי אלעזר בן עזריה בישיבה, ששיר השירים וקוהלת מטמאין את הידיים. אמר רבי עקיבה, חס ושלום: לא נחלק אדם מישראל בשיר השירים שלא תטמא את הידיים, שאין העולם כולו כדאי ביום שניתנה בו שיר השירים לישראל--שכל הכתובים קודש, ושיר השירים קודש קודשים; ואם נחלקו, לא נחלקו אלא על קוהלת. אמר רבי יוחנן בן ישוע בן חמיו של רבי עקיבה, כדברי בן עזאי, כן נחלקו וכן גמרו.

    הסברים
    • לפנינו מחלוקת על הכנסתם או אי הכנסתם של מגילות 'קהלת' ו'שיר השירים' לתוך הקודקס המקראי. ר' עקיבא לא רק שמכניס את שיר השירים פנימה, אלא טוען בתוקף שמעולם לא נחלקו עליו!
    A scroll on which the writing has become erased and eighty-five letters remain, as many as are in the section beginning, "And it came to pass when the ark set forward" (Numbers 10:35-36) defiles the hands. A single sheet on which there are written eighty-five letters, as many as are in the section beginning, "And it came to pass when the ark set forward", defiles the hands. All the Holy Scriptures defile the hands. The Song of Songs and Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) defile the hands. Rabbi Judah says: the Song of Songs defiles the hands, but there is a dispute about Kohelet. Rabbi Yose says: Kohelet does not defile the hands, but there is a dispute about the Song of Songs. Rabbi Shimon says: [the ruling about] Kohelet is one of the leniencies of Bet Shammai and one of the stringencies of Bet Hillel. Rabbi Shimon ben Azzai said: I have received a tradition from the seventy-two elders on the day when they appointed Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah head of the academy that the Song of Songs and Kohelet defile the hands. Rabbi Akiba said: Far be it! No man in Israel disputed that the Song of Songs [saying] that it does not defile the hands. For the whole world is not as worthy as the day on which the Song of Songs was given to Israel; for all the writings are holy but the Song of Songs is the holy of holies. If they had a dispute, they had a dispute only about Kohelet. Rabbi Yohanan ben Joshua the son of the father-in-law of Rabbi Akiva said in accordance with the words of Ben Azzai: so they disputed and so they reached a decision.
    דיון
    במבט ראשון, מגילת שיר השירים הוא שיר חולין על אהבה בין הדוד לרעיה.
  • האם תוכל להסביר את דעתו של ר' עקיבא ששיר אהבה זה הוא לא פחות מ'קודש קודשים'?
  • האם תוכל לקשר את עמדתו זו של ר' עקיבא עם המקורות שלעיל?
  • בית שמאי אומרין, לא יגרש אדם את אשתו אלא אם כן מצא בה דבר ערווה, שנאמר "כי מצא בה ערוות דבר"(דברים כד,א);
    בית הלל אומרין, אפילו הקדיחה תבשילו, שנאמר "דבר".
    רבי עקיבא אומר, אפילו מצא אחרת נאה ממנה, שנאמר "והיה אם לא תמצא חן בעיניו" (דברים כד,א).
    Bet Shammai says: a man should not divorce his wife unless he has found her guilty of some unseemly conduct, as it says, “Because he has found some unseemly thing in her.” Bet Hillel says [that he may divorce her] even if she has merely burnt his dish, since it says, “Because he has found some unseemly thing in her.” Rabbi Akiva says, [he may divorce her] even if he finds another woman more beautiful than she is, as it says, “it cometh to pass, if she find no favour in his eyes.
    דיון
  • לפנינו מחלוקת קשה בשאלה הכאובה - מהי עילה מקובלת לגירושין?
  • ר' עקיבא מותח כאן את היריעה עד הקצה. התוכל להסביר את עמדתו לנוכח המקורות הקודמים שראינו?
  • הרפורמה של ר' עקיבא בהלכות הנידה
    והדוה בנדתה -
    זקנים הראשונים אמרו: שלא תכחול ולא תפקוס ולא תתקשט בבגדי צבעונין,
    עד שבא ר' עקיבא ולימד אם כן אתה מגנה על בעלה ונמצא בעלה מגרשה! אלא [..] בנדתה תהא עד שתבא במים.

    הסברים
    • רש"י מפרש: בנדתה: היו דורשין הראשונים כמשמעו, כדבר המנודה ומרחיקה מבעלה.
    The Gemara asks: And according to Rav, what is different about these, the woolen cap and the wig, that the mishna permitted going out into the courtyard with them? Ulla said: So that she will not become unappealing to her husband. That would be the result if all ornamentation was prohibited. As it was taught in a baraita with regard to the verse: “And of her that is sick in her menstrual status [niddata]” (Leviticus 15:33), the Elders of the early generations said that this verse comes to teach us that the menstruating woman should be distanced from her husband in all senses, like a person ostracized [menudeh] by the Sages. This includes that she may not paint her eyes blue, and she may not rouge [pokeset] her face, and she may not adorn herself with colorful clothing. Until Rabbi Akiva came and taught: If you do so, you are making her unappealing to her husband, and her husband will consequently divorce her. Therefore, extreme strictures should not be instituted. Rather, what is the meaning of that which the verse states: “And of her that is sick in her menstrual status”? She shall remain prohibited in her menstrual status even after the flow of blood has stopped until she immerses in the water of a ritual bath.
    דיון
  • באיזה טיעון עוקר ר' עקיבא מסורת קיימת ונוטע צורת התנהגות חדשה בתא המשפחתי היהודי?
  • לפי דעתכם, האם הטיעון הזה מוצדק?
  • האם תוכלו לקשר בין הטיעון הזה לבין שאר המקורות שראינו עד כה?
  • ר' עקיבא היה מתלוצץ בעוברי עבירה [כלומר באלו שאינם מסוגלים לעמוד ביצרם]
    יום אחד נדמה לו שטן כאישה בראש עץ דקל.
    תפס בעץ והיה עולה והולך. כשהגיע לחצי העץ, עזב אותו היצר ואמר (השטן לר' עקיבא):
    לולא היו מכריזים ברקיע "הזהרו ברבי עקיבא ותורתו" הייתי עושה דמיך כשתי מעות.
    how to warn him not to engage in intercourse with her, since that would neutralize the effectiveness of the examination of the waters. Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: The Sages taught that two men may seclude themselves with one woman only in a city, where others are present, but on the road it is not permitted unless there are three. Why are two men insufficient on the road? Perhaps one of them will need to urinate and will walk away, and it will turn out that one person will be secluded with a woman forbidden to him. The Gemara suggests: Shall we say the mishna quoted above supports him: They provide him with two Torah scholars to accompany them lest he engage in sexual intercourse with her along the way? He and two Torah scholars are three, which indicates that there is a requirement for three men when they are traveling. The Gemara answers: That is no proof, as there, in the case of the sota, there is a requirement for an additional two men in order that they should serve as witnesses about him, to testify whether or not he engaged in intercourse with her along the way. The Gemara relates: Rav and Rav Yehuda were walking along the way, and a certain woman was walking ahead of them. Rav said to Rav Yehuda: Raise your feet and walk quickly away from Gehenna so that we do not remain secluded with her. Rav Yehuda said to him: But wasn’t it you, Master, who said that it is permitted in the case of men of fit morals? Rav said to him: Who says that I referred to men of fit morals such as you and me? Rav Yehuda responded: Rather, such as whom? Rav answered: Such as Rabbi Ḥanina bar Pappi and his colleagues, who have proven that they can withstand temptation (see 39b). All other people are not trusted in this matter. Rav says: The court flogs a man due to his being secluded with a woman. But a wife is not forbidden to her husband, and an unmarried woman is not prohibited from marrying a priest due to being secluded, as it cannot be stated definitively that the secluded pair engaged in sexual intercourse. Rav Ashi says: We stated the halakha that one is flogged due to being secluded only with an unmarried woman, but for being secluded with a married woman, one is not flogged. Why not? It is so that there should not be rumors spread concerning her children. If the secluded pair is flogged, everyone will assume that they engaged in intercourse, and people will consider her children to be mamzerim, whereas in fact they were flogged only for being secluded. The Gemara relates: Mar Zutra would even flog one who was secluded with a married woman, and he would proclaim the reason for the punishment. Rav Naḥman from Parhatya said to Rav Ashi: Let the Master also flog and proclaim the reason. Rav Ashi said to him: I am hesitant to do so, in case there are those who hear about this, i.e., the flogging, and do not hear about that, i.e., the reason for the flogging. Rav says: The court flogs one due to his being the subject of a bad rumor, meaning that not only is a person flogged when the facts have been ascertained, but even when he has only reportedly committed transgressions he may be flogged. As it is stated: “No, my sons, for it is no good report” (I Samuel 2:24). When Mar Zutra would flog a person for being the subject of a bad rumor, he would place the bridle of a donkey on the person’s shoulders and recite before him when administering lashes: “No, my sons, for it is no good report,” so that people would know why he was being flogged. Rabba says: If a woman’s husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man. People are afraid to sin with her, since they cannot be sure when her husband will return. Rav Yosef says: If there is an open entrance to the public domain there is no concern due to being secluded. The Gemara relates: Rav Beivai arrived at Rav Yosef’s house. After he wrapped his bread, i.e., ate his meal, he said to the members of the household: Remove the ladder from beneath Beivai, who was going to sleep in the upper story, so that he not be able to climb down, due to the prohibition of being secluded with Rav Yosef’s wife. The Gemara asks: But doesn’t Rabba say: If her husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man? The Gemara answers: Rav Beivai is different, since Rav Yosef’s wife was his friend and she was familiar with him, and therefore there was more cause for concern. Rav Kahana says: If the men are located on the outside, i.e., in the outer room, and the women in the inside, i.e., in the inner room, there is no concern due to being secluded. Even if one of the men were to enter the inner room, he would be seen by the other men. By contrast, if there were men in the inside and women on the outside, there is a concern due to being secluded, since one of the men can claim that he is leaving and in fact join the women. The Gemara comments: The opposite was taught in a baraita, that if the men are on the outside and the women are inside there is concern due to being secluded, as one of the men might venture inside without being noticed, but if the men are inside and the women are outside, he knows that one of the other men might go out through the women’s quarters at any time, and therefore there is no concern due to being secluded. Abaye said: Now that Rav Kahana has said the halakha in this manner and a baraita teaches the opposite, we shall act stringently in both cases. Abaye would arrange rows of pitchers between the men and women, so that they would not be able to cross from one area to the other without making noise. Rava would arrange rows of reeds to prevent passage. Avin said: The wound [sakva], i.e., the vulnerable point, of the year is the Festival, since men and women would come together on these joyous occasions, and this would lead to sin. § The Gemara relates: Those captive women who were brought to Neharde’a, where they were redeemed, were brought up to the house of Rav Amram the Pious. They removed the ladder from before them to prevent men from climbing up after them to the attic where they were to sleep. When one of them passed by the entrance to the upper chamber, it was as though a light shone in the aperture due to her great beauty. Out of his desire for her, Rav Amram grabbed a ladder that ten men together could not lift, lifted it on his own and began climbing. When he was halfway up the ladder, he strengthened his legs against the sides of the ladder to stop himself from climbing further, raised his voice, and cried out: There is a fire in the house of Amram. Upon hearing this, the Sages came and found him in that position. They said to him: You have embarrassed us, since everyone sees what you had intended to do. Rav Amram said to them: It is better that you be shamed in Amram’s house in this world, and not be ashamed of him in the World-to-Come. He took an oath that his evil inclination should emerge from him, and an apparition similar to a pillar of fire emerged from him. He said to his evil inclination: See, as you are fire and I am mere flesh, and yet, I am still superior to you, as I was able to overcome you. The Gemara relates: Rabbi Meir would ridicule transgressors by saying it is easy to avoid temptation. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman standing on the other side of the river. Since there was no ferry to cross the river, he took hold of a rope bridge and crossed the river. When he reached halfway across the rope bridge, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Meir and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a, i.e., completely worthless, since you would have fallen completely from your spiritual level. Rabbi Akiva would likewise ridicule transgressors. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree. Rabbi Akiva grabbed hold of the palm tree and began climbing. When he was halfway up the palm tree, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Akiva and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a. The Sage Peleimu had the habit to say every day: An arrow in the eye of Satan, mocking the temptations of the evil inclination. One day, it was the eve of Yom Kippur, and Satan appeared to him as a pauper who came and called him to the door, requesting alms. Peleimu brought out bread to him. Satan said to him: On a day like today, everyone is inside eating, and shall I stand outside and eat? Peleimu brought him inside and gave him bread. He said to him: On a day like today, everyone is sitting at the table, and shall I sit by myself? They brought him and sat him at the table. He was sitting and had covered himself with boils and pus, and he was doing repulsive things at the table. Peleimu said to the pauper:
    דיון
    סיפור זה (המופיע בתוך סדרת סיפורים על נסיונות מיניים של התנאים) מציג את פניה האחרים של האהבה.

    נסו לחשוב: מהו היחס בין אהבה לתאווה? מה היחס בין אהבה טהורה לבין יצריות מינית?
    מכילתא דברי ישמעאל, בשלח, מסכתא דשירה, פרשה ג (עמ' 127 במהדורת פרנקפורט תקצא)
    ר' עקיבא אומר אדבר בנאותיו ובשבחיו של מי שאמר והיה העולם, בפני כל אומות העולם,
    שהרי אומות העולם שואלין את ישראל: "מה דודך מדוד שבכה השבעתנו" (שה"ש ה ט) שכך אתם מתים עליו, וכך אתם נהרגים עליו? - שנאמר "על כן עלמות אהבוך" - אהבוך עד מוות! וכתיב "ועליך הורגנו כל היום" (תהילים מד כג), הרי אתם נאים, הרי אתם גיבורים - בואו והתערבו עימנו!
    וישראל אומרים להם, לאומות העולם: מכירין אתם אותו? - נאמר לכם! "דודי צח ואדום דגול מרבבה" (שם ה י).
    כיוון ששומעים כך (אומות העולם) אומרים לישראל: נלכה עמכם! ..
    וישראל אומרים להם: אין לכם חלק בו, אלא "דודי לי ואני לו" (שם ב, טז)
    דיון
    לפנינו מדרש חשוב ביותר בהבנת עולמו של ר' עקיבא.
    הסבירו את הדיון בין האומות לבין ישראל. מדוע האומות מתפלאים כל כך מאמונתם של ישראל?

    ר' עקיבא דורש את הפסוק "עלמות אהבוך" ל"אהבוך עד מוות". נסו להסביר את הלך הנפש של אהבה עד מוות. שימו לב שהרעיון המובא כאן הוא אחד היסודות ל"קידוש ה'" ביהדות!
    האם תוכלו לקשר בין אהבת ה' היוקדת (אהבה עד מוות) המוצגת במדרש הזה לבין האהבה האישית שהוצגה במקורות הקודמים?
    התפוח והעץ - מעשה בבנו של ר' עקיבא
    מעשה בבנו של ר' עקיבא שנשא אשה,
    מה עשה? כיון שנכנסה עמו לחדר היה עומד כל הלילה וקורא בתורה ושונה בהגדות.
    אמר לה: "קחי נר והאירי לי." לקחה נר והאירה לו כל הלילה, והייתה עומדת לפניו ומאירה, והיה פותח ספר ומגלה אותו מראשו לסופו ומסופו לראשו וכל הלילה עומדת ומאירה לו עד שבא הבוקר.
    בבוקר בא ר' עקיבא אליו, אמר לו: "מצא או מוצא?"
    אמר לו: "מצא!"

    הסברים
    • מצא או מוצא - הכוונה לשני פסוקים סותרים מספר קהלת, המציגים צדדים הפוכים של האישה בזוגיות: "מצא אשה מצא טוב" ו"ומוצא אני מר ממוות את האשה".
    דיון
    זוהי אגדה יפהפייה שאפשר לענות בה רבות.
    ננסה לחשוב על הנקודות הבאות:
    • מה היחס בין אהבת התורה לבין אהבת האישה אצל בנו של ר' עקיבא?
    • כיצד משתלבת הכלה באהבה מסוג זה?
    • מה מייצג הנר שהכלה אוחזת בו כל הלילה?
    • האם תפיסת הזוגיות של בנו של ר' עקיבא ממשיכה את דרכו של אביו?