Depression and Love: The Struggle to Care

Raba (another version : Rab Hisda) said : Should a man see sufferings come upon him, let him scrutinise his actions ; as it is said, "Let us search and try our ways, and return unto the Lord" (Lam. iii. 40). If he has scrutinised his actions without discovering the cause, let him attribute them to neglect of Torah; as it is said, "Happy is the man whom Thou chastenest, and teachest out of Thy law" (Ps. xciv. 12). If he attributed them to neglect of Torah without finding any justification, it is certain that his sufferings are chastenings of love ; as it is said, "For whom the Lord loveth He correcteth" (Prov. iii. 12). Raba stated that Rab Sahorah said in the name of Rab Huna : Him in whom the Holy One, blessed be He, delighteth He crusheth with sufferings ; as it is said, "Yet it pleased the Lord to crush him by disease" (Is. liii. 10). It is possible to think that this is so even with one who does not receive the chastenings in a spirit of love : therefore there is a teaching to say, "To see if his soul would offer itself in restitution" (ibid.). Just as the trespass-offering is brought voluntarily, so are the sufferings voluntarily received. If he accept them, what is his reward? "He will see his seed, prolong his days" (ibid.). More than that, his study [of Torah] will endure with him; as it is said, "The purpose of the Lord will prosper in his hand" (ibid.). R. Jacob b. Iddi and Rab Aha b. Hannina [differ in opinion]. One of them says : Those are to be considered chastenings of love which do not involve neglect of Torah; as it is said, " Happy is the man whom Thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of Thy law " (Ps. xciv. 12). The other declares : Those are to be considered chastenings of love which do not involve neglect of prayer; as it is written, "Blessed be God, Who hath not turned away my prayer, nor His mercy from me" (Ps. lxvi. 20) R. Abba the son of R. Hiyya b. Abba said to them : Thus declared R. Hiyya b. Abba in the name of R. Johanan : Both of them are to be considered chastenings of love ; as it is said, "For whom the Lord loveth He correcteth" (Prov. iii. 12). But what does the phrase "and teachest him out of Thy law" (Ps. xciv, 12) intend to convey to us ? Read not telammedennu "and teachest him" but telammedennu "and teachest us"; i.e., Thou teachest us this matter out of Thy law as a deduction from the ordinance concerning "the tooth and eye. " Should the tooth or eye of a slave be injured, which is only one of the members of a man's body, he thereby obtains his freedom, how much more so with the sufferings which afflict the whole body of a man ! This is in accord with the statement of R. Simeon b. Lakish who said: The word berit "covenant" is mentioned in connection with salt and also with chastenings. With salt, as it is written, "Thou shalt not suffer the salt of the covenant of Thy God to be lacking" (Lev. ii. 13); and with chastenings, as it is written, "These are the words of the covenant" (Deut. xxviii. 69). As with the "covenant" mentioned in connection with salt, it is salt which sweetens meat, so with the "covenant" mentioned in connection with chastenings, they are chastenings which purge all the iniquities of man. There is a teaching : R. Simeon b. Johai said : Three precious gifts did the Holy One, blessed be He, give to Israel, and all of them He gave only through the medium of suffering ; they are : Torah, the land of Israel, and the world to come. Whence is it deduced that Torah [was given through the medium of suffering]? As it is said : "Happy is the man whom Thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of Thy law " (Ps. xciv. 12). And the land of Israel ? For it is written, "As a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee" (Deut. viii. 5), which is followed by "For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land" (ibid. V. 7). And the world to come ? For it is written, "For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and reproofs of instruction' are the way of life" (Prov. vi. 23).

R. Hiyya b. Abba was ill and R. Johanan went in to visit him. He said to him, "Are thy sufferings dear to thee ?" "No," he replied, "neither they nor the reward they bring." R. Johanan said to him, "Give me thy hand." He gave him his hand and R. Johanan raised him. R. Johanan was ill and R. Hannina went in to visit him. He said to him, "Are thy sufferings dear to thee?" "No," he replied, "neither they nor the reward they bring." R. Hannina said to him, "Give me thy hand." He gave him his hand and R. Hannina raised him. Why? Why did not R. Johanan raise himself ? They answer : A prisoner does not release himself from the dungeon. R. Eleazar was ill and R. Johanan went in to visit him. He saw that he was lying in a dark room, so he bared his arm and a brightness was radiated therefrom. He then noticed that R. Eleazar was weeping. He said to him, "Why weepest thou? Is it because thou hast not applied thyself sufficiently to the study of Torah ? We have learnt that it matters not whether one does much or little, so long as he directs his heart to Heaven ! Is it because of [the lack of] food? Not everyone has the merit of two tables! Is it because of childlessness? This is the bone of my tenth son!" R. Eleazar answered him, "I weep because of this beauty which will decay in the earth." R. Johanan said to him, "Well dost thou weep on that account" ; and they both wept. After a while, he said to him, "Are thy sufferings dear to thee?" He replied, "Neither they nor the reward they bring." He said to him, "Give me thy hand." He gave him his hand and R. Johanan raised him.

(1) AND IT came to pass in the days when the judges judged, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Beth-lehem in Judah went to sojourn in the field of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons. (2) And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Beth-lehem in Judah. And they came into the field of Moab, and continued there. (3) And Elimelech Naomi’s husband died; and she was left, and her two sons. (4) And they took them wives of the women of Moab: the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth; and they dwelt there about ten years. (5) And Mahlon and Chilion died both of them; and the woman was left of her two children and of her husband. (6) Then she arose with her daughters-in-law, that she might return from the field of Moab; for she had heard in the field of Moab how that the LORD had remembered His people in giving them bread. (7) And she went forth out of the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah. (8) And Naomi said unto her two daughters-in-law: ‘Go, return each of you to her mother’s house; the LORD deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me. (9) TheLORD grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband.’ Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept. (10) And they said unto her: ‘Nay, but we will return with thee unto thy people.’ (11) And Naomi said: ‘Turn back, my daughters; why will ye go with me? have I yet sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? (12) Turn back, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say: I have hope, should I even have an husband to-night, and also bear sons; (13) would ye tarry for them till they were grown? would ye shut yourselves off for them and have no husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes, for the hand of the LORD is gone forth against me.’ (14) And they lifted up their voice, and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law; but Ruth cleaved unto her. (15) And she said: ‘Behold, thy sister-in-law is gone back unto her people, and unto her god; return thou after thy sister-in-law.’ (16) And Ruth said: ‘Entreat me not to leave thee, and to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God; (17) where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried; the LORD do so to me,and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.’ (18) And when she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, she left off speaking unto her. (19) So they two went until they came to Beth-lehem. And it came to pass, when they were come to Beth-lehem, that all the city was astir concerning them, and the women said: ‘Is this Naomi?’ (20) And she said unto them: ‘Call me not Naomi, call me Marah; for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. (21) I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me back home empty; why call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?’ (22) So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter-in-law, with her, who returned out of the field of Moab—and they came to Beth-lehem in the beginning of barley harvest.

And Rabbi Chama the son of Rabbi Chanina said, "What is the meaning of the verse, 'After Hashem, your G-d, shall you walk (Deuteronomy 13:5)'? Is it possible for a man to walk after the divine presence? And isn't it already stated, 'For Hashem your G-d is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24)'? Rather, To follow the character traits of G-d. "Just as he clothes the naked, as it is written, 'And the Lord G-d made for Adam and his wife cloaks of leather, and he clothed them (Genesis 3:21);' so too you shall clothe the naked. The Holy One, Blessed be He, visited the sick, as it is written, 'And he appeared in Ailonei Mamrei [while Abraam was in pain] (Genesis 18:1);' so too you shall visit the sick. The Holy One, Blessed be He, comforted mourners, as it is written, 'And it was, after the death of Abraham, and G-d blessed his son Isaac (Genesis 25:11);' so too you shall comfort mourners. The Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written, 'And he buried him in the valley (Deuteronomy 34:6);' so too, you shall bury the dead."