Shelo Asani Isha: Should I be offended by this daily morning bracha?

(כג) ר' יהודה אומר שלש ברכות צריך לברך בכל יום ברוך שלא עשני גוי ברוך שלא עשני אשה [ברוך] שלא עשני בור. גוי (ישעיהו מ) כל הגוים כאין נגדו אשה אין אשה חייבת במצות בור שאין ירא חטא ולא עם הארץ חסיד משל למה הדבר דומה למלך בשר ודם שאמר לעבדו לבשל לו תבשיל הוא לא בשל לו תבשיל מימיו סוף שמקדיח את התבשיל ומקניט את רבו לחפות לו חלוק והוא לא חיפת לו חלוק מימיו סוף שמלכלך את החלוק ומקניט את רבו.

Tosefta Berakhot 6:23

(23) Rebbi Yehudah says, “A person is obligated to say [the following] three Berachot every day: Blessed are You Hashem, our God, King of the world, for not making me a gentile, ...., for not making me a woman, ... for not making me a boor. [The reason for saying a Beracha for not making him] a gentile is because it says ‘All nations are like nothing to Him. He considers them to be empty and void.’ (Isaiah 40:17) [The reason for saying a Beracha for not making him] a woman is because women are not obligated in Mitzvot (commandments).” [The reason for saying a Beracha for not making him] a boor is because a boor is not afraid of sin. They have said a parable to what this is similar to. [It is similar] to a king of flesh and blood who said to his servant to cook him [some] food, but he (i.e. the servant) has never cooked food in his life. In the end he ruins the food and angers his master. [Or the king told the servant] to hem for him a robe, but he (i.e. the servant) has never hemmed a robe in his life. In the end he [causes] the robe to get dirty and angers his master.

תלמוד ירושלמי מסכת ברכות פרק ט דף יג טור ב /ה"א
Jerusalem Talmud
תני רבי יהודה אומר שלשה דברים צריך אדם לומר בכל יום ברוך שלא עשאני גוי ברוך שלא עשאני בור ברוך שלא עשאני אשה ברוך שלא עשאני גוי שאין הגוי' כלום כל הגוי' כאין נגדו ברוך שלא עשאני בור שאין בור ירא חט ברוך שלא עשאני אשה שאין האשה מצווה על המצות
It was taught: Rabbi Yehudah says: A person must recite three things every day: Blessed... for not making me a non-Jew, Blessed... for not making me an ignoramus, Blessed...for not making me a woman. A non-Jew because "All nations are as nothing to Him", an ignoramus because they do not fear sin, a woman because she is not commanded in the mitzv.

מנחות מ״ג ב:י״ז-י״ח

תניא היה ר"מ אומר חייב אדם לברך שלש ברכות בכל יום אלו הן שעשאני ישראל שלא עשאני אשה שלא עשאני בור רב אחא בר יעקב שמעיה לבריה דהוה קא מברך שלא עשאני בור אמר ליה כולי האי נמי אמר ליה ואלא מאי מברך שלא עשאני עבד היינו אשה עבד זיל טפי

Menachot 43b:17-18

It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Meir would say: A man is obligated to recite three blessings every day, and these are: Who has made me an Israelite; Who did not make me a woman; and Who did not make me an ignoramus. Rav Aḥa bar Ya’akov heard his son reciting the blessing: Who did not make me an ignoramus. Rav Aḥa bar Ya’akov said to him: Is it in fact proper to go this far in reciting blessings? Rav Aḥa bar Ya’akov’s son said to him: Rather, what blessing should one recite? If you will say that one should recite: Who did not make me a slave, that is the same as a woman; why should one recite two blessings about the same matter? Rav Aḥa bar Ya’akov answered: Nevertheless, a slave is more lowly than a woman, and therefore it is appropriate to recite an additional blessing on not having been born a slave.

There are three attributes for which I am grateful to Fortune: that I was born, first, human and not animal; second, man and not woman; and third, Greek and not barbarian.
Thales - 6th Century BCE Greek Philosopher

Galatians 3:28 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
²⁸There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in CJ.

Already in Paul’s own lifetime the Gospels were being widely disseminated, quoted in debates with Jews, and even in sermons that Judeo-Christians delivered in synagogues. Such a revolutionary mission-statement, combining ‘heathens, slaves and women’ into one faith-community, would certainly have been brought to the attention of the sages. The eved blessing might well have been omitted, therefore, in order to avoid introducing into Jewish prayer a triad of blessings that so closely paralleled a controversial New Testament formulation.
Rabbi Jeffrey Cohen

Such references to the licentiousness of the Roman occupiers – obliquely expressed in the interest of safety - clearly account for why the sages of that period would have wished their co-religionists to begin their day with the moralistic caution implied in that shelo asani ishah blessing.
Given that the Jewish women of Judaea would have been equally distressed by that rampant female wantonness, it is not inconceivable that they may also have joined their menfolk in the recitation of that blessing, with its special emphasis, ‘who did not make me such a woman’.
Rabbi Jeffrey Cohen

There is no derogation of woman implied in this Benediction; just as little as, for example, the Blessing of the Priests, thanking God for having chosen them to perform priestly functions, implies any derogation of the lay Israelites. The meaning of this blessing is merely... "who has set upon me the obligations of a man." There can be no doubt as to this, because the author of this Benediction concerning women has himself told us his reason for formulating it. It was, so that men thank God for the privilege which is theirs of performing all the precepts of the Torah, many of these precepts not being incumbent on women.
Rabbi Hertz, Siddur, page 20

I'm really not sure why this prayer isn't understand (sic) to mean exactly what it says. When I was a kid (in the 60's) my mother used to say "you should thank God that you were born white in this country." This wasn't a dig at non-whites. She was just acknowledging how hard it was (at least back then) to be black or other minority in the US. As a Catholic, I used to wonder why so many women in the middle ages became nuns -- I mean, give up a husband and a family for praying all day? Then I learned how many women died in childbirth in those days and what a tremendous amount of work the average women had to do. Maybe sitting in a convent praying and sewing vestments looked pretty appealing in comparison! Even today, if you were a disembodied spirit about to be born as a human being, with no attachment to one gender or the other, if you could choose -- would you choose to be born a man or a woman? Especially if you didn't know where in the world you were going to be born? I suspect most people would choose to be born male, and thank God if they were. To me the prayer is just saying "thanks for giving me an easier road in life."
Comment by Nancy Bennett on posting on https://jewinthecity.com/2018/11/how-i-deal-with-thank-you-for-not-making-me-a-woman-shelo-asani-isha-blessing/

"This does not imply that men are better than women, this implies that men are better off than women."
https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/52944/why-do-men-say-shelo-asani-isha-and-women-say-sheasani-kirtzono

טור אורח חיים סימן מו
ונהגו הנשים לברך שעשאני כרצונו ואפשר שנוהגים כן שהוא כמי שמצדיק עליו הדין על הרעה
6. Tur, Orach Chayyim 46
And the custom of the women is to recite “That You have made me according to Your will.” And it could be that this custom arouse because it is like someone who accepts upon themselves the righteousness of the evil judgment.

Siddur written by Avraham Farissol in fifteenth century Italy for a "respected and honoured" lady. It describes itself as a "complete siddur for the entire year, in accordance with Italian custom".

How bitter was my aunt that, as she would say from time to time, "every empty-headed ignorant man", every ignoramus who hardly knew the meaning of the words and who would not date to cross her threshold without first obsequiously and humbly obtaining her permission, would not hestitate to boldly and arrogantly recite to her face the blessing of shelo asani isha. Moreover, upon his recitation of the blessing, she was obliged to answer "Amen". "And who can muster enough strength," she would conclude with great anguish, "to hear this eternal symbol of shame and embarrassment to women?"
Rabbi Boruch Epsztejn (author of Torah Temimah), Mekor Baruch, p981

the argument...a man is simply giving thanks for the fact that he is not exempted from the mitzvot from which a woman is exempt...
Well, if that is the case, isn't it unseemly to give thanks for a privilege granted oneself in front of a person who does not have the same privilege?"
Rabbi Joel Wolowelsky, Women, Jewish Law and Modernity, p76

And in response to the apologists: The right to determine humiliation is the sole province of the humiliated. It is not the place of anyone else to say whether the humiliated ought to feel so or not.
Rabbi Kanefsky - Keren journal 2 (2014), page 7

What can this possibly mean to young girls just learning to pray, to adolescent girls grappling with their developing sexuality, to young women emerging into intellectual and sexual maturity, to mothers teaching their daughters how much they love being a Jewish woman? What compelling explanation can serve to ensure self-esteem in a girl who hears how happy her male equivalent is to not be what she is? And where is her berakha to match? .... Because the language of the berakha implicitly privileges being a male through explicitly disparaging being a female, we have to ask what this language is teaching our sons as they encounter their mothers, sisters, colleagues, wives, and daughters. From an early age, and on a daily basis, our sons use sanctioned language that conveys to them, and to whoever else is listening, that valuing their gender is predicated on devaluing the opposite gender.
Giti Bendheim, Keren Journal, volume 2 2014

In view of the perennial misunderstandings to which the above three Blessings have given rise, the late Prof. Berliner, argued the re-introduction of the positive wording שעשני ישראל , "Who has made me an Israelite" to replace the three Blessings...He rightly maintains that "to be filled with gratitude to God for having allotted to me the distinction of participating in Israel's mission and destiny, is surely far more expressive than the present negative formula."
Hertz Siddur, p21

I would combine the blessings of "Who has not made me a woman" with the blessing "Who has made me in accordance with His Will." The man would recite "Who has not made me a woman, and has made me in accordance with His will (shelo asani isha ve'asani k'retzono)," while a woman would recite "Who has made me in accordance with His will, and has not made me a man (she'asani k'retzono velo asani ish)."
This would still leave us with the three separate blessings, and the original intention of the sages would be preserved. Since the addition in each case accords with the view of the sages, it would not be classified as a "change in the formula of the blessing," according to most of the halachic authorities cited above. The proposed versions preserve the formula as created by the sages, while at the same time allowing a man the opportunity of thanking God for what he is, and allowing woman to thank God for what she is, each in accordance with his or her role and abilities, without either suffering any sense of discrimination...
Nevertheless, I would not permit even so minor a change without the approval of several leading halakhic authorities. While an individual might make a private emendation to his or her prayer, any official change...would require the endorsement of a major Orthodox rabbinical body.
Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, The Living Tree pp158-9

The difficulties faced by Modern Orthodoxy in instituting any change is due, in no small part, to its position between the ultra-Orthodox community or yeshiva circles on the one hand, and the Reform movement on the other hand. There is a fear that any change will challenge the limited consensus that there is on religious matters between the Modern Orthodox community and the ultra-Orthodox community. But there is also a fear that change fits into the “slippery slope” theory as formulated by Wolowelsky.75 Once change is permitted, you never know where it will stop. Thus, change itself takes place mainly in exegesis and in small, incremental steps.
The Benedictions of Self-Identity and the Changing Status of Women and of Orthodoxy
Joseph Tabory, accessed from Yeshivat Maharat Keren Volume 2, reprinted there from Kenishta, 2001, pp. 107-138, by permission of Bar-Ilan University Press, Ramat Gan