דילמות במצוות כיבוד הורים ​מבוסס על ספרה של הרבנית מלכה פיוטרקובסקי - מהלכת בדרכה מקורות בעברית בלבד

Our Rabbis taught: What is ‘fear’ and what is ‘honour’?‘Fear’ means that he must neither stand in his place nor sit in his place, nor contradict his words, nor tip the scales against him. ‘Honour" means that he must give him food and drink, clothe and cover him, lead him in and out.

(1) The mitzvah to honor parents-- to honor father and mother, as the Torah says (Ex 20:12) "Honor your father and your mother." And the commentary (Kiddushin 31:2) explains, "What does it mean to 'honor'? To feed, give drink, dress, bring in, and take out."

(2) The root of the mitzvah to honor parents is that it is fitting for a person to acknowledge and return kindness to people who were good to him, and not to be an ungrateful scoundrel, because that is a bad and repulsive attribute before God and people. And to take to heart that your father and mother are the reason you exist in the world, and for that it is truly fitting to honor them in every way and give every benefit you an, because they brought you to the world, and worked hard for you when you were little. Once you take this idea to heart, you will move up from it to recognize the good of the Blessed God who is the cause of you and all your ancestors until the first man, and took you out into the world's air, and fulfilled your needs every day, and made your body strong and able to stand, and gave you a mind that knows and learns, for without the mind that God granted you, you would be "like a horse or a mule who does not understand" (Ps 32:9). And you should think long and hard about how fitting it is to be careful in your worship of the Blessed One.

(3) Regarding the specific rules of this mitzvah, such as whose property should be spent on this honor, the child's or the parent's, and the ruling is that it is out of the parent's if the parent has property, but if not, the child must even beg door to door in order to feed their parent; or which takes priority-- honoring the father or the mother?; and whether the parents is allowed to waive that honor. And if the child sees the parent violating the Torah's words, with what words should they stop them? And is the child obligated to honor the parent in life and in death? And what does it mean to honor in death? And all of the other details are explained in Tractate Kiddushin and in a few other places in the Gemara.

(4) This mitzvah applies in all places and times, for males and for females any time they are able, that is to say when their husbands do not stop them. And one who violates it disobeyed a positive commandment, and their punishment is very great, for they are like one who ignores their Heavenly Father, and if the court is able, they force him, as we wrote above, that the court forces obedience to positive commandments.