Parenting and Showing Favoritism in Judaism
(ב) אֵ֣לֶּה ׀ תֹּלְד֣וֹת יַעֲקֹ֗ב יוֹסֵ֞ף בֶּן־שְׁבַֽע־עֶשְׂרֵ֤ה שָׁנָה֙ הָיָ֨ה רֹעֶ֤ה אֶת־אֶחָיו֙ בַּצֹּ֔אן וְה֣וּא נַ֗עַר אֶת־בְּנֵ֥י בִלְהָ֛ה וְאֶת־בְּנֵ֥י זִלְפָּ֖ה נְשֵׁ֣י אָבִ֑יו וַיָּבֵ֥א יוֹסֵ֛ף אֶת־דִּבָּתָ֥ם רָעָ֖ה אֶל־אֲבִיהֶֽם׃ (ג) וְיִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אָהַ֤ב אֶת־יוֹסֵף֙ מִכָּל־בָּנָ֔יו כִּֽי־בֶן־זְקֻנִ֥ים ה֖וּא ל֑וֹ וְעָ֥שָׂה ל֖וֹ כְּתֹ֥נֶת פַּסִּֽים׃ (ד) וַיִּרְא֣וּ אֶחָ֗יו כִּֽי־אֹת֞וֹ אָהַ֤ב אֲבִיהֶם֙ מִכָּל־אֶחָ֔יו וַֽיִּשְׂנְא֖וּ אֹת֑וֹ וְלֹ֥א יָכְל֖וּ דַּבְּר֥וֹ לְשָׁלֹֽם׃ (ה) וַיַּחֲלֹ֤ם יוֹסֵף֙ חֲל֔וֹם וַיַּגֵּ֖ד לְאֶחָ֑יו וַיּוֹסִ֥פוּ ע֖וֹד שְׂנֹ֥א אֹתֽוֹ׃ (ו) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר אֲלֵיהֶ֑ם שִׁמְעוּ־נָ֕א הַחֲל֥וֹם הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר חָלָֽמְתִּי׃ (ז) וְ֠הִנֵּה אֲנַ֜חְנוּ מְאַלְּמִ֤ים אֲלֻמִּים֙ בְּת֣וֹךְ הַשָּׂדֶ֔ה וְהִנֵּ֛ה קָ֥מָה אֲלֻמָּתִ֖י וְגַם־נִצָּ֑בָה וְהִנֵּ֤ה תְסֻבֶּ֙ינָה֙ אֲלֻמֹּ֣תֵיכֶ֔ם וַתִּֽשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֖יןָ לַאֲלֻמָּתִֽי׃ (ח) וַיֹּ֤אמְרוּ לוֹ֙ אֶחָ֔יו הֲמָלֹ֤ךְ תִּמְלֹךְ֙ עָלֵ֔ינוּ אִם־מָשׁ֥וֹל תִּמְשֹׁ֖ל בָּ֑נוּ וַיּוֹסִ֤פוּ עוֹד֙ שְׂנֹ֣א אֹת֔וֹ עַל־חֲלֹמֹתָ֖יו וְעַל־דְּבָרָֽיו׃ (ט) וַיַּחֲלֹ֥ם עוֹד֙ חֲל֣וֹם אַחֵ֔ר וַיְסַפֵּ֥ר אֹת֖וֹ לְאֶחָ֑יו וַיֹּ֗אמֶר הִנֵּ֨ה חָלַ֤מְתִּֽי חֲלוֹם֙ ע֔וֹד וְהִנֵּ֧ה הַשֶּׁ֣מֶשׁ וְהַיָּרֵ֗חַ וְאַחַ֤ד עָשָׂר֙ כּֽוֹכָבִ֔ים מִֽשְׁתַּחֲוִ֖ים לִֽי׃ (י) וַיְסַפֵּ֣ר אֶל־אָבִיו֮ וְאֶל־אֶחָיו֒ וַיִּגְעַר־בּ֣וֹ אָבִ֔יו וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֔וֹ מָ֛ה הַחֲל֥וֹם הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר חָלָ֑מְתָּ הֲב֣וֹא נָב֗וֹא אֲנִי֙ וְאִמְּךָ֣ וְאַחֶ֔יךָ לְהִשְׁתַּחֲוֺ֥ת לְךָ֖ אָֽרְצָה׃ (יא) וַיְקַנְאוּ־ב֖וֹ אֶחָ֑יו וְאָבִ֖יו שָׁמַ֥ר אֶת־הַדָּבָֽר׃
(2) This, then, is the line of Jacob: At seventeen years of age, Joseph tended the flocks with his brothers, as a helper to the sons of his father’s wives Bilhah and Zilpah. And Joseph brought bad reports of them to their father. (3) Now Israel loved Joseph best of all his sons, for he was the child of his old age; and he had made him an ornamented tunic. (4) And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of his brothers, they hated him so that they could not speak a friendly word to him. (5) Once Joseph had a dream which he told to his brothers; and they hated him even more. (6) He said to them, “Hear this dream which I have dreamed: (7) There we were binding sheaves in the field, when suddenly my sheaf stood up and remained upright; then your sheaves gathered around and bowed low to my sheaf.” (8) His brothers answered, “Do you mean to reign over us? Do you mean to rule over us?” And they hated him even more for his talk about his dreams. (9) He dreamed another dream and told it to his brothers, saying, “Look, I have had another dream: And this time, the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” (10) And when he told it to his father and brothers, his father berated him. “What,” he said to him, “is this dream you have dreamed? Are we to come, I and your mother and your brothers, and bow low to you to the ground?” (11) So his brothers were wrought up at him, and his father kept the matter in mind.

(ב) ואביו שמר שחשב שיהיה החלום אמתי והיה מתאוה ומצפה שיתקיים כאמרם ז''ל (סנהדרין פרק חלק) בכל אדם מתקנא חוץ מבנו ותלמידו:

(2) ואביו שמר, he remembered it because he thought that the dream reflected what would in fact occur. In fact, his father was looking forward to the fulfillment of Joseph’s dream. This reflects the statement in the Talmud Sanhedrin 105 that a person may be jealous of everyone except his students and his children.

(ו) עֲטֶ֣רֶת זְ֭קֵנִים בְּנֵ֣י בָנִ֑ים וְתִפְאֶ֖רֶת בָּנִ֣ים אֲבוֹתָֽם׃

(6) Grandchildren are the crown of their elders, And the glory of children is their parents.
(מז) וְגַם־בָּ֜אוּ עַבְדֵ֣י הַמֶּ֗לֶךְ לְ֠בָרֵךְ אֶת־אֲדֹנֵ֜ינוּ הַמֶּ֣לֶךְ דָּוִד֮ לֵאמֹר֒ יֵיטֵ֨ב אלהיך [אֱלֹהִ֜ים] אֶת־שֵׁ֤ם שְׁלֹמֹה֙ מִשְּׁמֶ֔ךָ וִֽיגַדֵּ֥ל אֶת־כִּסְא֖וֹ מִכִּסְאֶ֑ךָ וַיִּשְׁתַּ֥חוּ הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ עַל־הַמִּשְׁכָּֽב׃
(47) further, the king’s courtiers came to congratulate our lord King David, saying, ‘May God make the renown of Solomon even greater than yours, and may He exalt his throne even higher than yours!’ And the king bowed low on his couch.
(א) את שם שלמה משמך. אמרו רז"ל בכל אדם מתקנא חוץ מבנו ותלמידו בנו משלמה ותלמידו מיהושע:
(א) בָּנִ֣ים אַתֶּ֔ם לַֽיהוָ֖ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶ֑ם לֹ֣א תִתְגֹּֽדְד֗וּ וְלֹֽא־תָשִׂ֧ימוּ קָרְחָ֛ה בֵּ֥ין עֵינֵיכֶ֖ם לָמֵֽת׃ (ב) כִּ֣י עַ֤ם קָדוֹשׁ֙ אַתָּ֔ה לַיהוָ֖ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ וּבְךָ֞ בָּחַ֣ר יְהוָ֗ה לִֽהְי֥וֹת לוֹ֙ לְעַ֣ם סְגֻלָּ֔ה מִכֹּל֙ הָֽעַמִּ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־פְּנֵ֥י הָאֲדָמָֽה׃ (ס)
(1) You are children of the LORD your God. You shall not gash yourselves or shave the front of your heads because of the dead. (2) For you are a people consecrated to the LORD your God: the LORD your God chose you from among all other peoples on earth to be His treasured people.
(יהושע ז, יא) חטא ישראל אמר רבי אבא בר זבדא אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא אמר ר' אבא היינו דאמרי אינשי אסא דקאי ביני חילפי אסא שמיה ואסא קרו ליה
§ When God explained to Joshua the reason for the Jewish people’s defeat at the city of Ai, He said: “Israel has sinned” (Joshua 7:11). Rabbi Abba bar Zavda says: From here it may be inferred that even when the Jewish people have sinned, they are still called “Israel.” Rabbi Abba says: This is in accordance with the adage that people say: Even when a myrtle is found among thorns, its name is myrtle and people call it myrtle.
אמר ליה לאו כהן הוא מר מאי טעמא קאי מר בבית הקברות א"ל לא מתני מר טהרות דתניא ר"ש בן יוחי אומר קבריהן של עובדי כוכבים אין מטמאין שנאמר (יחזקאל לד, לא) ואתן צאני צאן מרעיתי אדם אתם אתם קרויין אדם ואין עובדי כוכבים קרויין אדם
The amora proceeded to ask Elijah a different question and said to him: Is not the Master a priest? What is the reason that the Master is standing in a cemetery? Elijah said to him: Has the Master not studied the mishnaic order of Teharot? As it is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai says that the graves of gentiles do not render one impure, as it is stated: “And you, My sheep, the sheep of My pasture, are man” (Ezekiel 34:31), which teaches that you, i.e., the Jewish people, are called “man,” but gentiles are not called “man.” Since the Torah states with regard to ritual impurity imparted in a tent: “If a man dies in a tent” (Numbers 19:14), evidently impurity imparted by a tent does not apply to gentiles.

(א) השיב רש"י: על היבמה שנפלה לפני יבם משומד צריכה חליצה. ואין חילוק בין שקדשה הבעל ואח"כ נשתמד בין שנשתמד לאחר [=קודם] קידושין, שהמשומד הרי הוא כישראל חשוד לכל דבר שנאמר חטא ישראל אעפ"י שחטא ישראל הוא. ואין לחלקו מידת ישראל אלא שאין נאמן באיסורין, הואיל וחשוד הוא עליהן, ויינו יין נסך הואיל וחשוד הוא לע"ז, וקידושיו קידושין וחליצתו חליצה. כללא של דבר הרי הוא כישראל חשוד.

(ב) והתשובה הנמצאת בתשובות הגאונים שאם נשתמד בשעה שקדשה אין צריכה חליצה, דקידושין ונישואין הראשונים מפילים לחליצה ולייבום, אין לסמוך עליהם דדבריהם סותרים זה את זה. שאם זיקתו זיקה וחליצתו חליצה לאר שנשתמד, מה לי קדשה קודם לכן, מה לי קדשה אח"כ, הרי הוא מחזיקו כישראל גמור להיות חליצתו חליצה. ע"כ אין לה תקנה אלא בחליצה.

(ג) וצור ישראל יאיר עינינו במאור תורתו

(ד) שלמה ב"ר יצחק

(1) Rashi responded: A levirate widow (yevama) who is bound to an apostate brother-in-law requires levirate divorce (halitza). It makes no difference whether the husband betrothed her and then [the brother-in-law] apostatized, or whether he apostatized before the betrothal, because an apostate is a Jew, who is suspect on all matters. For it is stated: “‘Israel has sinned’—though he has sinned, he remains of Israel” (Sanhedrin 44a). He should not be excluded from the law of Israel, although he has no credibility vis-à-vis prohibitions, since he is suspected of violating them, and his wine is rendered libation wine (yeyn nesekh) since he is suspected of idolatry. Yet his betrothal is valid, and his halitza is valid. As a rule, he is considered a suspect Jew.

(2) The responsum found amongst the responsa of the Ge’onim, namely, that if he had apostatized by the time of the betrothal she does not require halitza since the initial betrothal and marriage cause her to be bound to halitza or levirate marriage, is unreliable, as it is self-contradictory. For if his bond is considered binding and his halitza valid even after his apostasy, what does it matter whether she was betrothed before or after? He is considered a bona fide Jew whose halitza is valid. Therefore, there is no remedy for her except halitzaץ

(3) May the Rock of Israel illuminate our eyes with the light of His Torah.

(4) Solomon b. Yitzhak